Bullying during or after education stages. Is it okay?

society's

I disagree with you! I learned this from the book, it did not come from me, the great teacher taughted me this, I have been confronted by the bully and I did what the book tells me how to avoid it and it does works! I don't wanna argue with you, so be it!

It doesn't always work like you siad. You were oversimplifying the problem.
 
Given what I have explained regarding innate coping styles and coping strategies, yes these individuals would have had the same innate coping styles and employed the same type of coping strategies to other obstacles throughout their lives.

Right, but would they have used them in the same way and ended up in the same place? There's no way to know. It's possible that someone's success is a result of the fact that they were bullied, and how they responded to that specific situation. The ability to cope does not imply that they would have taken the same path in life without those circumstances being there.

I find it interesting that so many people are against the idea of something good coming out of bad circumstances. I don't think anyone is advocating for bullying being a positive thing, but that sometimes there are ways to find good things that came out of a negative situation.
 
I disagree with you! I learned this from the book, it did not come from me, the great teacher taughted me this, I have been confronted by the bully and I did what the book tells me how to avoid it and it does works! I don't wanna argue with you, so be it!

Uh...ok? :scratch:I wasn't arguing with you, friend. Your experience is different than mine is, sorry if i upset you.
 
Right, but would they have used them in the same way and ended up in the same place? There's no way to know. It's possible that someone's success is a result of the fact that they were bullied, and how they responded to that specific situation. The ability to cope does not imply that they would have taken the same path in life without those circumstances being there.

I find it interesting that so many people are against the idea of something good coming out of bad circumstances. I don't think anyone is advocating for bullying being a positive thing, but that sometimes there are ways to find good things that came out of a negative situation.

Stick to chemistry. Psychology is evidently not your area of expertise.:P
 
Where do you think bullies learn their behaviour from?

Who teachs bully is okay when they know it´s not okay?




 
I have been in more fights over bullies picking on my brother, than I have been for me.

Due to he has, Tourette syndrome.
 
Where do you think bullies learn their behaviour from?

Who teachs bully is okay when they know it´s not okay?





From other bullies. Quite often parents who take the attitude that, hey, it'll toughen kids up. No problem!:roll:
 
Tourette's, that is so misunderstood; there was a HBO documentary on from perspective of kids w/Tourette's - name: something about - "I have Tourette's but Tourette's doesn't have me"....something....very good program.
 
Tourette's, that is so misunderstood; there was a HBO documentary on from perspective of kids w/Tourette's - name: something about - "I have Tourette's but Tourette's doesn't have me"....something....very good program.

Especially back in the early 80's. It was totally misunderstood. My brother was misdiagnosed until Mom Finally took him to a doctor that knew exactly what he had, and sent my brother to neurologist..

Now people are more aware, of what T.S. is. Still need more awareness though.

The bullying he had! Was horrendous! He spoke of suicide as a 9 year old child. Makes me cry, just thinking about how picked on he was. Mom took him to Physiologist. He still has issues now. But he is better. He has been bakered acted several times, also growing up and even recently as a 35 year man. He was admitted to a mental hospital.

He still has real low self esteem, and coping skills.
 
Especially back in the early 80's. It was totally misunderstood. My brother was misdiagnosed until Mom Finally took him to a doctor that knew exactly what he had, and sent my brother to neurologist..

Now people are more aware, of what T.S. is. Still need more awareness though.

The bullying he had! Was horrendous! He spoke of suicide as a 9 year old child. Makes me cry, just thinking about how picked on he was. Mom took him to Physiologist. He still has issues now. But he is better. He has been bakered acted several times, also growing up and even recently as a 35 year man. He was admitted to a mental hospital.

He still has real low self esteem, and coping skills.

Poor guy! :(
 
No, I don't think that bullying is alright regardless. However, I can understand where you are coming from, Naisho. You are saying that people's characteristics, good & bad, can be developped from years of bullying and that some people can be stronger depending on the experience that they've had. I still do not think that bullying is good in any form. It can deeply affect the child and still affect them as adults.

As for personal bullying, I used to think that I was only bullied in 3rd grade but it was extended much further than that. My bullying occurred from kingergarten to eighth grade. I think very little of it was because of my hearing impairment, but rather because of the fact that with my hearing impairment I am also overweight. I hated that school, to put it simply. It wasn't completely the students that were the bullies, it was the teachers too. My 5th/6th grade teacher (I was lucky enough to have her for 2 years... *sarcasm*) also seemed to like to bully me. However, in my experience there was never really one big thing that happened... it was just a series of daily verbal bullying and there was really nothing major said. Taking all this in daily though caused me to have an anxiety disorder. I would cry (yes, in eigth grade...) quite often if I was stressed and I would also have panic attacks. Not only that, but I had (still kiiiinda do) severe social anxieties. I am currently 16, and ever since I hit high school almost two years ago, I was almost instantly at ease. The bullying stopped because I was with a higher level of students and I began to gather my social skills back up again. I still have a variety of social anxieties, but for the most part I am doing much better. Things were never that great at home either, which also contributed to a lot of my anxieties. My father always favoured my younger brother and was never happy with me as his son. I don't know how things changed regarding that area, so don't ask... but ever since I hit high school he has become a lot more understanding and is more enjoyable to be around. A lot different from the man who once said, "Yeah, I admit to being 'harder' on you, but that's because I knew you would have a harder time later in life because of your disability." Bullshit. :roll:

I am not really bullied ever since I hit high school. The school I am attending is much better and more modern, so it made it easier to fit in. I still have the occassional thing, but people often defend me or they make themselves look like fools anyways, so I can just laugh it off. :P
 
No, I don't think that bullying is alright regardless. However, I can understand where you are coming from, Naisho. You are saying that people's characteristics, good & bad, can be developped from years of bullying and that some people can be stronger depending on the experience that they've had. I still do not think that bullying is good in any form. It can deeply affect the child and still affect them as adults.

As for personal bullying, I used to think that I was only bullied in 3rd grade but it was extended much further than that. My bullying occurred from kingergarten to eighth grade. I think very little of it was because of my hearing impairment, but rather because of the fact that with my hearing impairment I am also overweight. I hated that school, to put it simply. It wasn't completely the students that were the bullies, it was the teachers too. My 5th/6th grade teacher (I was lucky enough to have her for 2 years... *sarcasm*) also seemed to like to bully me. However, in my experience there was never really one big thing that happened... it was just a series of daily verbal bullying and there was really nothing major said. Taking all this in daily though caused me to have an anxiety disorder. I would cry (yes, in eigth grade...) quite often if I was stressed and I would also have panic attacks. Not only that, but I had (still kiiiinda do) severe social anxieties. I am currently 16, and ever since I hit high school almost two years ago, I was almost instantly at ease. The bullying stopped because I was with a higher level of students and I began to gather my social skills back up again. I still have a variety of social anxieties, but for the most part I am doing much better. Things were never that great at home either, which also contributed to a lot of my anxieties. My father always favoured my younger brother and was never happy with me as his son. I don't know how things changed regarding that area, so don't ask... but ever since I hit high school he has become a lot more understanding and is more enjoyable to be around. A lot different from the man who once said, "Yeah, I admit to being 'harder' on you, but that's because I knew you would have a harder time later in life because of your disability." Bullshit. :roll:

I am not really bullied ever since I hit high school. The school I am attending is much better and more modern, so it made it easier to fit in. I still have the occassional thing, but people often defend me or they make themselves look like fools anyways, so I can just laugh it off. :P

Sorry to hear about your experience. And I agree with you that more often it isn't one big incident, but the little, constant incidents day in and day out that do the damage.
 
Exactly Jillio, it doesn't take very much, especially if it's consistent over a 10 year period.
 
To answer the orginal question: absolutely not. Ever. As Jillio said, (loosely) Strength is not made by adversity, but it is discovered by it. I was bullied intensly as a child for many years in school. To this day I am painfully shy, have a very hard time around aggressive people, and have a lot of problems with self-esteem. I was picked on for, among other things, having a stutter and having LD, to name only two of my offending issues. I'm not saying that I blame the children in my school only for making me as anxious as I am, but I know that a lot of that started with them. I feel sorry for bullies, I really do. I don't know of anyone who bullies without some reason, however twisted, but it really can scar a person for years, if not life.
 
To answer the orginal question: absolutely not. Ever. As Jillio said, (loosely) Strength is not made by adversity, but it is discovered by it. I was bullied intensly as a child for many years in school. To this day I am painfully shy, have a very hard time around aggressive people, and have a lot of problems with self-esteem. I was picked on for, among other things, having a stutter and having LD, to name only two of my offending issues. I'm not saying that I blame the children in my school only for making me as anxious as I am, but I know that a lot of that started with them. I feel sorry for bullies, I really do. I don't know of anyone who bullies without some reason, however twisted, but it really can scar a person for years, if not life.

Agreed. There are actually two victims: the one being bullied, and the one doing the bullying.
 
*Nods* Now I look back at the people who made me dread the morning (if it were a school day) and wonder what they went home to every day. I am convinced that they could not have gone home to a healthy, happy house. Something was very, very wrong. Only people who doubt their own worth, who are inherently unhappy pick on others. The louder and harsher they are, the more convinced I am that they are desperately unhappy in some way or another. Who can be happy if they live in a state of continual aggression, cruelty, and anger?
 
I think the ability (or rather strength) developed later in life comes not from the years of torment and bullying but by the person's inner desire to change and raise their self-esteem. Some of the most extroverted people are almost never bullied because they're very confident and not necessarily the biggest or strongest, they're just outspoken.

I think a much better (and logical) way to approach this is to help the kid succeed in whatever they're good at, play to their strengths and realize that the world out there isn't always nice and appreciative. I dont need to hurt a child to inform them of the cruelties of the world, knowledge is power in this case and I believe a high self-esteem can defeat any kind of bullying.


...but you know what REALLY bothers me, the psychology of a bully...I don't understand the "high" people get from picking on others, the only thing I can think of is to recoup for their insecurities. Perhaps I'm wrong in this case but I find myself (most often than not) bullying a bully, maybe it's wrong in my case but to me this accomplishes two things:

1) It shows the victim that the bully is not some omnipotent being immune to criticism
&
2) It gives the bully an idea of something called "EMPATHY" - in other words the ability to see things from ANOTHER person's perspective.

Perhaps tasting their own medicine for once would show them how others feel, and that karma is right around the corner.

my two (canadian) cents...
 
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