Anyone ever just throw the HA out and be deaf?

Moon-child

Moon-child

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I have been struggling to get used to my new digital aid. I have been back to my audiologist for many adjustments but I cannot seem to get used to it, cannot seem to re-program my brain as she calls it.

I am back to using my old analog, it helps me with sounds when I am lip reading.

For 19 years of my life no one figured out I was severely herd of hearing, so I am not used to or liking hearing all the sounds with my new digital, it is way too over stimulating and it causes me headaches, ear aches and stress down my neck. If the digital was all I had, I would not wear it. Walking in the snow with my son, my brain hears the squeaky boots on snow sounds and not his voice at all. audiologist says this is because my brain does not know suqweaky boots on snow sounds so is trying to figure it out, but it has been weeks of trying my digital aid daily and I barely evver make it past 10 minutes, the stress and overstimulation is untolerable for me.

After years of having stable hearing in the severely hard of hearing range, these last few months my hearing is rapidly decreasing.

I am becoming more socially isolated, if that is possible, I am already a hermit.

I am going to go get some counselling to help me adjust, but my question of the day is: do any of you ever just throw out your hearing aids. I see so many threads on the latest CI transplants, on new aids and such. but does anyone ever just 'give up' on hearing?

I have stopped going to my b/f's family dinners cause I am sick of not hearing, being isolated in a room full of people sucks right. I can only do 1X1 in conversation if I can see the other persons lips and if they don't have an accent.

I need to take more sign courses and find a way to get to know the deaf culture, as I have always had difficulty fitting in with the hearing and have never been exposed to the deaf culture, cept here at this site.

I guess today I am feeling stressed out about it all, and thankyou for this site and having a place to rant and express myself.

Comments and opinions are welcome here, thanks for listening.
 
:hug: I understand. Of course you are stressed and unhappy. I want you to know that in no way are you alone. I wish I had the magic words to make everything better for you...sadly, I don't. I too am relatively isolated, shy, and uncomfortable if I am out of the cage of my own making. 'Giving up' on your hearing aids is entirely up to you. Do you feel what you can hear defines you? Do you feel that you are a whole person without being able to hear? I think you are overwhelmed, struggling, and seriously unhappy...and that's not what aids are supposed to be about. If they are not making life better for you...then what is the point of them? I just want to point out though that, if you do choose to stop wearing them, that it may be easy for you to withdraw further into your shell because you can't hear in social situations. That's not good either (says the hypocrite). You sound like a nice, worthwhile person. Don't give up on yourself. Your ability to hear should not define you, so the people you love should love you which ever way. I send you courage, I send you hope that tommorrow will be better, I send you the belief that you are a good person and that the choice you make about what makes you happiest is the right choice. I also send you a hug and an invite to message me anytime you need to rant.
 
Thankyou, today I am feeling sorry for myself I guess. Your words of support and sharing and hug were exactly what I needed. I am usually quite content, wholistically happy and full of hope, I guess we all have our off days eh. Yep, this is one of mine.

In return I send hugs, and a gorgeous bouquet of flowers for being the sunshine in my day.
 
I can very much understand not going to family dinners. It is no fun when we can't understand what the group is saying or laughing about, as a whole. It is pretty much a 1x1 situation for me too, and I think for many here as well. You're definitely not alone. Hugs!
 
Thankyou Alleycat, I think it does me good to spend time here and I thankyou for your support, it is true, others go through similar situations and feelings and it does me well to be reminded of that. Hugs right back at you! I think perhaps the smartest thing for me to do is stop being so anti-social and go take some more sign courses with the hope that some day I will meet new friends who are not hearing folks, my life is full of only hearing folks (family, b/f, close friends) and it would be good to strike a balance, does that make sense?
 
You and I seem to share similar sentiments about the gap world we live in.

We are the deaf who know no sign, yet the hearing shuns us for our inability to keep up with their conversations.
We then realize we can't lean towards either dominant culture, we find ourselves in a middle, alone, to ourselves.

If I could sum it up with an analogy:

It feels to (me) like ice-skater Michelle Kwan and an incident that occurred to her.
She is American born of Chinese heritage, she associates and fuses with English closer than her Chinese. During the 1998 Olympic Ice-skate championships, a misunderstanding MSNBC writes for over a million viewers, "America beats Michelle Kwan".
Think if you are Michelle Kwan at this moment. Your Chinese isn't as great as those in China. The American's first depiction of you was that you were not American.

So what is she? You tell me.. As far as I know, that's how it feels to be in a gap world as I prefer to call it.



We as "Hearing Impaired" are going through the same transition, similar; as we perform for our team, but they reject us. The CI users are probably in our world, but I can't speak for them.
As we realize that we can't keep up with the hearing world using oral methods, we fall back and tend to isolate ourselves.

I find myself doing what you have mentioned too. Unable to keep up at TGI Friday's, Bars & breweries, grills, etc with all the background chatter of other people. Sometimes I can't enjoy the conversation or keep up with it.
Because it seems we don't have the ability to "focus" our hearing as the hearies are able to do.. That's what sets us apart from them.
In one-on-one discussions, we do great because the background noise is isolated.

Then I went to Deaf events. I felt out of place since I know very little ASL. Even with interpreters there, I felt like if I was another misunderstood person. They were going way too fast for me to understand, but they were capable of extending a hand for you to step up.

The real problem at bay is if you can accept yourself for who you are.

I have trouble myself from time to time, frustrated at what I am and who I created myself into. Then I realized if I completely dropped my hearing ties, there isn't really anywhere else to go.

I think once you take enough sign to become competent, you'll find the real deaf culture, but the HoH gap is still alive in you. There's no other choice though, this is the only way we can feel "at home". And that is why we are here on this board.

If you want to see a part of my "growing up" background, you can observe that story here: AllDeaf.com - View Single Post - What kind of a world did you grow up in?
 
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Thankyou for sharing, and when I get some time to myself I will go check out your story. I truly appreciate your response, it helps me to keep my bad day in perspective.

I am pretty sure we all have stories ya know. Some have experienced much worse than I. I am just having one of those days. Hugs to you!
 
I've hated my digital hearing aids. I once read that digital hearing aids do not work well for people who are nearly profound deaf and that they are better off with analog.
 
I used to be like you and Naisho...the deaf who doesnt know sign language and social situations with hearing people always stressed me out.

Now, I dont get as stressed our nor upset but more like bored whenever I am in a social situation full of hearing people yapping away.

My ex-hubby's family was the only group of hearing people who really went out of their way to make sure I knew what the topic was and etc etc. That's all I need from hearing people..just to take a little time to do that and I can fit in just fine but unfortunately, most hearing people dont want to take the time. I miss that. They were the greatest.


As for throwing my HAs and just be deaf...I have my days when I just dont want to wear them but I cant imagine throwing them out for life.

Hang in there...:hug:
 
Lighthouse77 said:
I've hated my digital hearing aids. I once read that digital hearing aids do not work well for people who are nearly profound deaf and that they are better off with analog.
Click to expand...

Weighing in as one of those profound people who thinks digital is great. :wave:
 
Thanks shel, I don't usually get upset, but today I did! I wear a button that says 'lip reader, please speak clearly' and I find it help oodles with the general public. I don't mind getting closer to good looking men to hear them, have even been so bold as to turn a few of their faces to remind them, hehehe, the pro-flirting methods of a deafie.

My b/f and son are typically great, but because my hearing has decreased so significantly in the last few months, they too get frustrated, and I think this is where my negative mood got fuelled from today, not a great excuse, but true.

Thanks for the hugs, it does help, especially sucj nice hugs from you people all day!

Realsaistically I am not ready to throw my ha out, I know how agitated and stressful it is when it stops working, I can't imagine life without it. I guess I am just scared of how fast my hearing is going, and I have made an appointment with a counsellor to talk this out and have a sounding board.

Lighthouse, hugs to you too, all round today, haha. Thankyou for taking the time to respond to my post, just knowing there are others out there like me makes me not feel like such an alien ya know. I should have had no expectations with trying the digital, but I guess I did expect it to work a miracle, or at least hoped it would help me hear voices better. I hated that I could not turn it off, I am continually turning my analog down and up and often off. I am grateful for hearing aids, and today I am especially grateful for you and the other folks who have responded to me with empathy and kindness. My bitchy mood has gone, I feel strong and able once more, and will just take my own advice and go into the unknown one day at a time.

Many thanks, Moon-child
 
Hi Bottensini, thanks for letting us know, I need to know your info. too. Hey, wanna hug, seems to be the name of the game today, haha.
 
Moon-child said:
Hi Bottensini, thanks for letting us know, I need to know your info. too. Hey, wanna hug, seems to be the name of the game today, haha.
Click to expand...

You may be hugged. :hug: Just thought you should know you may adjust and love them later. :P
 
Does that mean you are thinking about it or are just too kind to speak your mind , haha!?
 
People have given up on me with hearing aids. I wear them when I want to, which isn't all that often. I never touched them today! I did wear them for about 3 hours yesterday though. If I want to hear, I hear. If I don't want to hear, I don't.
 
First day at school, the audit gave me $400 worth hearing aids. I wore it all day until night, went to shower, and of course my hearing aids drowned, and never want to wear them again. I'm proud to be 100% deaf, and monkey-free ears. :D
 
Moon-child said:
I have been struggling to get used to my new digital aid. I have been back to my audiologist for many adjustments but I cannot seem to get used to it, cannot seem to re-program my brain as she calls it.

I am back to using my old analog, it helps me with sounds when I am lip reading.

For 19 years of my life no one figured out I was severely herd of hearing, so I am not used to or liking hearing all the sounds with my new digital, it is way too over stimulating and it causes me headaches, ear aches and stress down my neck. If the digital was all I had, I would not wear it. Walking in the snow with my son, my brain hears the squeaky boots on snow sounds and not his voice at all. audiologist says this is because my brain does not know suqweaky boots on snow sounds so is trying to figure it out, but it has been weeks of trying my digital aid daily and I barely evver make it past 10 minutes, the stress and overstimulation is untolerable for me.

After years of having stable hearing in the severely hard of hearing range, these last few months my hearing is rapidly decreasing.

I am becoming more socially isolated, if that is possible, I am already a hermit.

I am going to go get some counselling to help me adjust, but my question of the day is: do any of you ever just throw out your hearing aids. I see so many threads on the latest CI transplants, on new aids and such. but does anyone ever just 'give up' on hearing?

I have stopped going to my b/f's family dinners cause I am sick of not hearing, being isolated in a room full of people sucks right. I can only do 1X1 in conversation if I can see the other persons lips and if they don't have an accent.

I need to take more sign courses and find a way to get to know the deaf culture, as I have always had difficulty fitting in with the hearing and have never been exposed to the deaf culture, cept here at this site.

I guess today I am feeling stressed out about it all, and thankyou for this site and having a place to rant and express myself.

Comments and opinions are welcome here, thanks for listening.
Click to expand...

I wonder if this is why my son is always throwing his HAs or taking them out. I personally understand being overwelmed..Hell I'm hearing and there are days I wished I could hear all the noises..LOL Anyways I have people who tells me that I should make him wear them all the time b/c us hearing people don't have a choice we can't just turn off our hearing so he shouldn't be able to either. But in my opinion if I can communicate with him without him hearing me then it's okay for him not to wear them at home.
 
I understand how you feel, just the other day I wanted to take a hammer to my HAs, I can't stand to wear them because of the headaches.
 
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