Another Vent from me

DreamDeaf said:
*rubbing eyes tiredly*
*sighing*
*thinking a moment*
*putting fingers on keyboard, clicking away*

LOW-FUNCTION...I just can't believe how long that word has been around...and how abused it has been. When people tell me they're not as smart as I am, I just roll my eyes, sigh and then start pointing out that NO ONE is smarter than the other, that we all are smart in our own ways...for example, while I may be smart in english, vocubulary and grammer, I don't know math as well as I should ...and I know many deafies that are GREAT in math...therefore, they're smart in their own way. Also, I know nothing about motorcycle engines, while I have a friend that is a maniac about motorcycles, and has been taking classes...therefore, he is SMARTER in his own way. To me, there is no such thing as LOW-FUNCTION.

My dear MizzDeaf, you are SMART in my eyes. Every time I see you, I love being with you, because of your intelligence, humor and charm. Period. Therefore, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

...Now for you, FlyFree...
I understand that you may have valid reasons for venting in your mind...however, it may only serve to make a bad situation worse. Yes, it's true that we have gossips in our midst, and we ourselves are gossips, its just human nature. No, no, don't tell me you don't gossip...I've been around you and know otherwise. Anyone who says he or she doesn't gossip, is already proving himself/herself a liar, period. We can say we mind our own business, and I know we all try to. However...however...unfortunately, because we were born and remain curious, we want to know. PERIOD.

So when we hear or think we have people gossiping about us, the only way to do is to...IGNORE it. Do not reply back, do not indicate that it bothers you, do not go below the belt, but IGNORE it. I know it's hard, we want to lash out, we want to hurt the person that we think is causing the gossip (it may be true or it may not be true), we want to straighten it out, get gossip out about that person...but it will only make a situation go from bad to WORSE. It could even lead to out-and-out war, make friends become enemies, foes become killers (yes, it has happened before and will happen again) and/or even worse, have DAD (Deaf Against Deaf) in our communites again. The other problem connected with that, is that it may not be the person that we think is doing it, it could be an entirely different person or worse yet, a COMPLETE MISUNDERSTANDING??? Think of the embarrasment that would come out of it all if it was discovered to be that very thing!!!! And guess what? The person who thought his/her name was being gossiped out will be blamed in the end.

Have you ever seen a duck swim out of a pond, walk a bit and then shake its tailfeathers? Did you know that ducks have waterproof feathers? Therefore, when it does that, its really spraying off the droplets left ON its feathers.

That's why my motto is...Be like a duck, shake the water off my back, and quack. It means, go ahead, I'll just shake off the gossip and go about my merry way.

Smiles!
DreamDeaf
gossip :smash:
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:kiss: @ DD -- Yeah, I secord!

Yeah, I just pop my mind that there is lot of people :gossip: around my friends that one would tell me in person. That will upset me because that is not fair for me to be "blind" -- You know.. :roll:
 
mizzdeaf, Fly Free, DreamDeaf, U rock in my book and what u all said its true its considered wrong and if they have a plm with what they hear they can chose to ingore it or be the person that they always shown to be immature, disrespectful and downright stupid in thier own plms, however I UNDERSTOOD YOU and respect u in EvERY way I gotta say u deffy are not low function in my book, u have alot of pateince with words, u show and u know how to make a good point and send it across themselves and yourself,

DD I know u say we continue to do that but think of this way, its benfifiting for us in our own aspect to say hey we know u been talking so knock it off if u got a plm come to the source for clarification OR if the person doesn't want to talk about it learn to leave it alone simple said! Some poeple are too nosy and havenothing better to do for themselves, I respect all of u and love all of u , and theres some that really challenges me and want to stand up myself and say hey back the hell off poeple dont wanna be talking abt themselves to poeple who love to spread and twist stories! So don't let them get to you.

like it is duck to a water, take a bull by the horn and tell them back off find someone else to bother its not thier plm to butt in ur life.

Im proud of you Mizz Deaf and i know its hard to find out shit like that just be urself type in ur mind and soul and if its short or long it no matter cuz we love u ALL THE SAME!

\,,/_ u all :) Fly, MizzDeaf, DD :)
 
Vented

Java -

It may be all good for you to confront that person, HOWEVER... it is entirely possible that it MAY not have come from that person you think it could have come from. I know from personal experience, because when I was YOUNGER, someone told me a piece of malicious gossip which he attributed to a person that I had been having problems with. I immediately confronted that person, and we had words to the very extent that it really destroyed whatever relationship we had at that time.

Now to come to the point...several days later, I found out that the "gossip" had not come from that person I had blamed...it had come from the person that had told me about it in the first place. Of course, I was VERY MUCH embarrassed and contrite; I immediately called the person I had blamed wrongly and told him I was very sorry, that I had found out that I had made a mistake and that I had blamed him for nothing.

The person acknowledged the apology, but of course, I couldn't do much about it... as I said, we had words and destroyed the relationship right there. To this day, we will not have anything to do with each other, and when confronted in public, we will say Hello VERY COLDLY and turn away from each other.

SO...Java, beware. Beware of smooth words, beware of sources, beware of "friends looking out for you." Always DOUBLECHECK and TRIPLECHECK each story and make sure there are facts in favor first, otherwise... its adios, friends. Ciao, relationships. Hasta la vista, baby.

You have the freedom to confront the so-called "gossip," but ... be ready to burn bridges behind you. There will be a point of no return in all relationships, no matter how well you think you know the person.

I'm not trying to lecture you, I'm just trying to help.

:wave:
 
DreamDeaf said:
Java -

It may be all good for you to confront that person, HOWEVER... it is entirely possible that it MAY not have come from that person you think it could have come from. I know from personal experience, because when I was YOUNGER, someone told me a piece of malicious gossip which he attributed to a person that I had been having problems with. I immediately confronted that person, and we had words to the very extent that it really destroyed whatever relationship we had at that time.

Now to come to the point...several days later, I found out that the "gossip" had not come from that person I had blamed...it had come from the person that had told me about it in the first place. Of course, I was VERY MUCH embarrassed and contrite; I immediately called the person I had blamed wrongly and told him I was very sorry, that I had found out that I had made a mistake and that I had blamed him for nothing.

The person acknowledged the apology, but of course, I couldn't do much about it... as I said, we had words and destroyed the relationship right there. To this day, we will not have anything to do with each other, and when confronted in public, we will say Hello VERY COLDLY and turn away from each other.

SO...Java, beware. Beware of smooth words, beware of sources, beware of "friends looking out for you." Always DOUBLECHECK and TRIPLECHECK each story and make sure there are facts in favor first, otherwise... its adios, friends. Ciao, relationships. Hasta la vista, baby.

You have the freedom to confront the so-called "gossip," but ... be ready to burn bridges behind you. There will be a point of no return in all relationships, no matter how well you think you know the person.

I'm not trying to lecture you, I'm just trying to help.

:wave:
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:cuddle: @ U!!! i agree every words what u say... u are right abt that.. i wanna to check doublecheck and everything whats going on.. cuz of there sometime gossip CAN BE MISUNDERSTOOD! i do believe in! cuz of gossip NEVER END UP! so they need wake up and becareful to listen the people story.. so need ask this person before buy the story...
 
Yeah u right, DD...
You gotta be careful what YOU say cuz if you tell a story to someone, then this person will add some stuff (mostly not true and maybe not nice too) to the original story to another and the third person will ADD more crap to the original story..it just goes on and on and then this original story which was nice and innocent, nothing i said was bad, was a horrible story full of lies and misinformation!! it happened to me one time and i ended up sounding like I was the one who started the crappy story! made me look real bad! When that original story comes back to me, i was stunned! and i protested that i didnt say this and that, of course they think im the fuckin liar!!..pissed me off so bad so i stayed away from these troublemakers since then... :mad: Did that every happen to you?
 
Defee said:
Yeah u right, DD...
You gotta be careful what YOU say cuz if you tell a story to someone, then this person will add some stuff (mostly not true and maybe not nice too) to the original story to another and the third person will ADD more crap to the original story..it just goes on and on and then this original story which was nice and innocent, nothing i said was bad, was a horrible story full of lies and misinformation!! it happened to me one time and i ended up sounding like I was the one who started the crappy story! made me look real bad! When that original story comes back to me, i was stunned! and i protested that i didnt say this and that, of course they think im the fuckin liar!!..pissed me off so bad so i stayed away from these troublemakers since then... :mad: Did that every happen to you?
Click to expand...
*AMEN* i agree with u.. some people can put wrong on this person like that.. so just ingore, ofc make u upset or mad or innocent... but just INGORE and let them be once!
 
MizzDeaf,

You are not only the one who have problem with English or others. Same to me, I still struggling with English errors as always. Just ingore people's gossip or backstabbing behind my back about my English errors. They don't know how to confront to me about that. Would pleasure if someone blunt at me about my weakness. Prefers blunting than backstabbing and unhealthy insulting about my weakness. Blunting is come from the truth. Compare with backstabbing and other that mean they have hard time with me with any truths. Run away from the truth. Everyone have own mistakes while we have better skills, who knows?

Some of my true friends told me about other friends questioned or backstabbed about my weakness with English and/or Attitude. Ofc, I was upset with some people who backstabbed about me cuz I have tend to be quiet or not feel like talk when I happen to have moody in real life. They afraid to ask me some questions like that. In my heart, wish they ask me directly instead of ask others "What wrong with Lasza?" Done that for many years, I get used with that kind of situtation after repeatly and repeatly.

Realized about my true friends who accept who I am. Make me feel relief big time. Count them in my heart. Everyone have own mistakes while we have better skills, who knows?

As for now, I still work on improve my Engish. there is no " too late ". Not have to go back to school for taking any improve class. We can do it is "self-motiviation." Learning new vocabulary and more. You can go to the library for borrowing some English Grammar books for refresh ur mind. Asking ur true friends for feedback. And reading some books to keep it up with ur level stay up.

About gossip, just deal with it, Just nodding and let them talk. Someday, they will realize after know me or you all more better. Yes, I made mistakes for gossip about them before. I assume u done same thing. Nobody's perfect. I did not say I blame u, I knew everyone done same thing.
 
:werd: I happen to agree with DD 100%!...It had happened to me a few times, like the other group of friends would hear something from this friend but never bother coming up and asking me if that was true instead they intent to believe it.....That's when friendship breaks between the two people, no matter how long you known this person, one of them could be doing something behind your back....I know a couple of my friends has warn me about this friend but I refused to believe it because I thought I knew this person as well enough to believe that friend wouldn't do that to me, but I was wrong, sometimes gossiping are true , some are false, its better to come up to that friend to be sure if its true then believing in something that never did happened in the first place....

And one more thing, it is true about everyone gossip about others they may not like or is mad at that person etc....I know I'm guilty on that one and at least I was honest of what happened ...It was more to do with getting something off my chest to a friend, and I'm sure alot of us have.....It's nice to have friends who listens.... :)
 
DD i Agree with u but think about this, not gonna start up anything, if someone hears something abt you and goes to you about this, I think its best that they just say, I am not intrested in the gossip of other poeple, its none of my business and if you have a problem with that person then you yourself go to that person don't bring it up with me, i do not want to be involved. thats the issue here......


and same way i disagree with some posters but yes i know i challenge them and i respect them for thier opioion and having a difference in opioion is a good thing in life teaches us more things and thier or my way of thinking.

and yes poeple say they misunderstood things, but its best to tell the person who's starting the rumors OR the person that heard about it to go to the plm and not bring the problems to the other poeple who may not be intrested. its abt maturity, I heard about rumors and know what i say i say, if u want to talk about me thats fine that shows u have no respect for confronting me and then if u dont want to confront me thats thier problem not mine. some poeple do not have a life and just wants to find out about other poeple's lives its no one's business. so leave it well alone. I chose to let go of harshness and learn about myself in my own ways and my own mistakes, and ofc get feedback from my TRUE FRIENDS to see how i can better improve myself. So like you said DD, let it go basically.

Mizz Deaf, Just ingore them if they wont confront you then thier afraid to tell you the truth and just goes to show they have no respect and dont see you for you! ... U did a great job venting i think it shows the world u dont take a backseat to anything. but telling the poeple to KNOCK IT OFF with the rumors and either accept you for you or let them go cuz thier not your true friends! I know i dumped some poeple out of my life already cuz it shows they just obess and whine about things and its not my problem cuz I KNOW the truth about me and me alone.
 
DreamDeaf -- u indeed do have a valid point and i agree -- its always good to ignore some idiots that seem to want to carry on and on and on -- u are obviously much wiser than me when it comes to life's situations that we have to deal with

gossip in itself is wrong especially when theyre unfounded or incorrect or whatever it might be topicwise but saying things that are so idiotic to begin with by saying "low function" is so totally low of the person who has said that and i call myself stupid in math which is a valid proven fact (cuz i actually got myself sent to get tested on this area) -- even with ppl who may have difficulties in either the english language or math -- it still doesnt excuse them by calling a person "low function" or any other things cuz it just is not appropriate to be doing that and those ppl who may have math/english language difficulties often make up for those challenges with other things they are real good at be it hobby/skill/whatever it may be

my venting post i had made in this thread was indeed valid cuz im pretty tired of the bullshit thats flying all over and IMO those people who finds it "fun" to be doing that shit constantly has NO life period -- if i could i WOULD name all those that i know have a leaning towards finding it all "fun" -- theres enuf drama out there to last a lifetime -- ppl can live their lives their way however way they want but that still doesnt excuse them for being idiots behaving like that in my book

:ily: DreamDeaf my wiser friend :D
 
after all whoever gossips have no life.. cuz they wud find something to twist what u really do and it makes me want to vent. but eh.. at least I just *nod* and let them do talking they will realize talking about repeat things that happened in past is truly IN past..otherwise just go :zzz: at their talk they wud go :pissed: trust me.. :lol:
 
Hey, Mizz...

Whoever calls you "low function" is very stupid and lame. Hey, I still have difficulties with writing English everyday. I am still struggling to express my feelings in written English. Don't worry about your poor English grammatical errors.

I know several people with poor English have excellent sense of humor and know how to work with their hands. I have seen them doing their works all time.

I give you a perfect example of the emigrated person from Asia (I don't remember where). He came to San Francisco with no language (even his native language). He is an adult who excel in construction work. He works with his hands and his co workers love him because he has a sense of humor and get along with them even though he still has no knowledge of English language or his native language at all. He uses basic gestures in order to communicate with his co workers.

I also know other guy from Mexico who can't read and write English and he is a hard worker at Ross store for several years. He can fix cars and other electronics stuff. He is a wonderful guy with a filthy sense of humor.

You have other hidden talents and skills other than just English problems. Use them everyday. Don't worry about idiots who criticize your English grammatical errors. Screw them and your true friends who believe in you.
 
Smiles

MizzDeaf ~

As it happens, you find yourself with supporters and people who believe in you. It's always a wonderful thing to find out and usually emotional in belief and support for your cause.

I know, I know, I've always been cursed with this ENGLISH thing...as you probably can see, I'm too "PERFECT" in my language skills - but you do have one thing we all strive for. RESPECT...R~E~S~P~E~C~T!!!

Many people say, "Hey don't diss me! Gimme Respect!!" Well, guess what? I wasn't born a fool. While I respect people in general, I don't give people respect until they've proved that they have earned and deserve my respect. You've always had my respect from the very beginning - from that first day I met you at the clubhouse. Ever since then, you've proved it to be correct, over and over.

MizzDeaf, dear, guess what? I don't give a damn about what people says about your language skills. You know why? I've always understood what you were saying and where you were coming from, and if I didn't, which was not very often, I knew I was free to ask you for clarification.

So, when people snicker behind your back, hold your head up high. You have a good job, you have a place to live, you pay your bills on time, you're a contributing member to society ~ and I'm sure that many of those don't have jobs, don't pay their bills on time and are, in general, deadbeats. They just want to drag you down to their level. Ignore them. You have good friends, friends you can hang around with, instead of those lowlives.

MizzDeaf, you ROCK in my book. :bowdown:

Smiles!
 
Wiser?

FlyFree -

Finally got a chance to come back to AllDeaf and this thread -

You said my wiser friend...thank you, but I think its more likely older and experienced. (smiles). They say wisdom comes with age, but in my case, it's more likely its experience comes with age...cuz I sure don't feel any wiser...lol.

You're so sweet, FlyFree. May the wind take your wings to where you hope to go to.

Smiles! :scatter: (scatterbrained here...as usual)
 
being wiser --

DreamDeaf dear -- even if u dont feel like u are "wiser" i think u do have some wisdom -- granted yes its true u are older and more experienced but wouldnt that combine into "wisdom" qq :D

despite all the gossips and other bullshit flying around -- another issue also has been recently added to my list of peeves -- being patronizing to another :roll:

u are definately a good woman to have met and i look forward to talking to u tmw and if this above comment is confusing to u -- i will explain tmw and u will get the idea of what im referring to :D

i also concur on ur saying MizzDeaf ROCKS in ur book -- she also ROCKS in MY book!!
 
Tomorrow

FlyFree -

I look forward to seeing you and MizzDeaf tomorrow at my birthday party! I hope I didn't sound patronizing to you...if I did, I am sorry. Oftentimes, I do not realize I may sound that way when I type.

Smiles!
 
DD gurl -- no it was not directed to u in any way -- it was reference to another issue involving a certain person that was quite patronizing to MizzDeaf that has come to light when i spoke to MizzDeaf last nite and that has really pissed me off to no end -- apparently this has happened several months ago and i was unaware of that til last nite when we spoke

*huggies* see u tmw! :D
 
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