Deaf culture - do's and don'ts, etc. Let's make a list!

peppsiwoman said:
I hate it when someone is talking to me and that person know about my hearing and the person would turn their head so i can`t see their lips.:pissed:
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That happens to me all the time, too. What I try now is take out my notebook and write, "I can't see your lips, so let's write, okay? What was it you last said?"

They always say something like, "Oh, I forget, because you talk so well."

I keep offering the pen so they will write it out. If they do, I write back, "Thanks, but when I can't see your mouth, I miss how well YOU talk, so let's write."

Most don't want to continue writing. They apologize and get better at helping me speech read. Those who lose patience and end the conversation are no real loss, because I couldn't understand most of what they said anyway.

What do other deafies who speech read do?
 
Chase said:
That happens to me all the time, too. What I try now is take out my notebook and write, "I can't see your lips, so let's write, okay? What was it you last said?"

They always say something like, "Oh, I forget, because you talk so well."

I keep offering the pen so they will write it out. If they do, I write back, "Thanks, but when I can't see your mouth, I miss how well YOU talk, so let's write."

Most don't want to continue writing. They apologize and get better at helping me speech read. Those who lose patience and end the conversation are no real loss, because I couldn't understand most of what they said anyway.

What do other deafies who speech read do?
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:lol:


A good charming way of 'steering' 'em--to 'look' at you while speaking. ;)

Well done-- :thumb:





~RR
 
Chase said:
That happens to me all the time, too. What I try now is take out my notebook and write, "I can't see your lips, so let's write, okay? What was it you last said?"

They always say something like, "Oh, I forget, because you talk so well."

I keep offering the pen so they will write it out. If they do, I write back, "Thanks, but when I can't see your mouth, I miss how well YOU talk, so let's write."

Most don't want to continue writing. They apologize and get better at helping me speech read. Those who lose patience and end the conversation are no real loss, because I couldn't understand most of what they said anyway.

What do other deafies who speech read do?
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That is a good trick. I should try that sometime. :)
 
I think i should keep a note book on me at all times.:hmm:
 
I probably should more often - especially when I am at doctors appointments with my DD so I can understand exactly what it is they are doing - are they giving her a medicine she is allergic to? How often should this medicine be taken? Etc, etc. Stuff like that.

Our local pediatrician is nice, but half the time I cant understand her thick accent and she doesnt always look at me when she speaks. She doesnt know I cant hear well but half the time I dont have pen and paper with me either because I forget to take it with me.

Has anyone had any medical mishaps due to bad communication between you and the doctor?

Also what about auto dealers? Have they tried to not look at you whilst discussing the details so they can screw you over???
 
Dixie said:
I probably should more often - especially when I am at doctors appointments with my DD so I can understand exactly what it is they are doing - are they giving her a medicine she is allergic to? How often should this medicine be taken? Etc, etc. Stuff like that.

Our local pediatrician is nice, but half the time I cant understand her thick accent and she doesnt always look at me when she speaks. She doesnt know I cant hear well but half the time I dont have pen and paper with me either because I forget to take it with me.

Has anyone had any medical mishaps due to bad communication between you and the doctor?

Also what about auto dealers? Have they tried to not look at you whilst discussing the details so they can screw you over???
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If a dealer were to do that to me, I'd tell him to stop wasting my time and drop him and go to another car dealership.
 
Dixie said:
I probably should more often - especially when I am at doctors appointments with my DD so I can understand exactly what it is they are doing - are they giving her a medicine she is allergic to? How often should this medicine be taken? Etc, etc. Stuff like that.

Our local pediatrician is nice, but half the time I cant understand her thick accent and she doesnt always look at me when she speaks. She doesnt know I cant hear well but half the time I dont have pen and paper with me either because I forget to take it with me.

Has anyone had any medical mishaps due to bad communication between you and the doctor?

Also what about auto dealers? Have they tried to not look at you whilst discussing the details so they can screw you over???
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You reminded me of when my son had his tonsils and adnoids removed when he was 7. They wouldn't allow parent's to accompany the kids into the holding area where they gave them the anesthesia to put them to sleep. It was on my son's chart that he was deaf. Well, he got to the holding area, and all of the staff had on their face masks, and he freaked out and would not allow any one to touch him. They came and got me, and I explained that he was freaking out because he could not lipread anyone and did not know what was going on. The surgeon ordered everyone to take their masks off and not to put them back on until he was under all the way, and to make sure that no one in the recovery room had on face masks when he was waking up. As soon as he could speech read them, he calmed right down.
 
Amazing isn't it Jillio that something so simple could cause so much problems eh? But Im glad it all worked out in the end.

Ive never had to 'go under' so Im not sure what thats like, but I too would probably like to have them at least remove their masks so I could correctly follow their instructions if there are any.
 
Dixie said:
Amazing isn't it Jillio that something so simple could cause so much problems eh? But Im glad it all worked out in the end.

Ive never had to 'go under' so Im not sure what thats like, but I too would probably like to have them at least remove their masks so I could correctly follow their instructions if there are any.
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I always tell my dentist to please not to talk to me while their masks are on. I understand that they need them on but it wont hurt anyone if they just pull them down for a sec to tell me to do something or whatever. It has worked out great so far. :)
 
Four things that I thought of: 1. Don't seem exasperated and ask me, "Do you have your hearing aids on?!" 2. Don't grab my ears to find out. 3. Don't scream at me. Look at me when you talk and don't make funny gestures with your mouth. 4. Don't mimick a deaf person sound (i.e. eh?) or gesture to try and be funny by holding your hand behind your ear.
 
pek1 said:
Four things that I thought of: 1. Don't seem exasperated and ask me, "Do you have your hearing aids on?!" 2. Don't grab my ears to find out. 3. Don't scream at me. Look at me when you talk and don't make funny gestures with your mouth. 4. Don't mimick a deaf person sound (i.e. eh?) or gesture to try and be funny by holding your hand behind your ear.
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Yes , pete i agree,and you hit the nail on the head with number 3.
 
pek1 said:
Four things that I thought of: 1. Don't seem exasperated and ask me, "Do you have your hearing aids on?!" 2. Don't grab my ears to find out. 3. Don't scream at me. Look at me when you talk and don't make funny gestures with your mouth. 4. Don't mimick a deaf person sound (i.e. eh?) or gesture to try and be funny by holding your hand behind your ear.
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I find it hard to belive that someone grabbed your ear!! That has not happened to me but you would think everybody would know not to do that.

I had a recent experience that I dont' remember happening before, since I stopped wearing my hearing aids. I had a customer ask me a question but I was not able to understand so I told him i'm deaf and would he repeat it again and he leaned over to my ear and repeated it. I thought that was odd, felt like he was invading my space. I pulled back and said, here is a note and pen. Please write down what you are asking me. That was a new experience for me. Also had few new things happen since I stopped wearing hearing aids but I am liking it so far. To me, it clearly puts me in a place that there is no question which is totally deaf.
 
I would like to add "snap". to the list.Do not snap at me. A bitch snap at me yesterday at the 7-11 yesterday because i did not hear her.
 
my bitchy step-cousin/co-worker was chunking raw pieces of chicken breast at me the other day to get my attention. I tried to ignore her, that is until she lobbed one right on my hand where I was working. I was so tempted to chunk it back at her, but I couldn't as my supervisor was standing there.

Also because Im losing my hearing Im also finding it more difficult to clearly articulate my words. When I asked a co-worker if I could get on her football squares she misunderstood and thought I had said I won her football squares and demanded money. I was no hon, I wouldnt do that! I said I wanted to be on your football squares, is the game being played on Monday?

Also Im missing sounds that I used to be able to hear, like the occassional buzz of my lamp. Now my daughter has to get my attention to tell me that the lamp is buzzing again, so I have to hit it to get it to stop buzzing.
 
shel90 said:
I always tell my dentist to please not to talk to me while their masks are on. I understand that they need them on but it wont hurt anyone if they just pull them down for a sec to tell me to do something or whatever. It has worked out great so far. :)
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My dentist does this all the time. Sometimes I see he is talking because I see movement behind the mask and his eyebrows move so I remind him I can't hear.........then he does this again. :roll: But he is nice and uses nitrous. :P

Dixie said:
my bitchy step-cousin/co-worker was chunking raw pieces of chicken breast at me the other day to get my attention. I tried to ignore her, that is until she lobbed one right on my hand where I was working. I was so tempted to chunk it back at her, but I couldn't as my supervisor was standing there.
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Raw chicken???? :eek2:
 
If anyone chucked chicken at me while I was working, I'd wait until I got off work and ...ahem...straighten them out. Ughh! I can't believe she did that...:pissed:
 
Also Im missing sounds that I used to be able to hear, like the occassional buzz of my lamp. Now my daughter has to get my attention to tell me that the lamp is buzzing again, so I have to hit it to get it to stop buzzing.
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If it ain't working right, hit it until it does. :D

I find I'm doing the exact same thing! :)
 
Dixie said:
my bitchy step-cousin/co-worker was chunking raw pieces of chicken breast at me the other day to get my attention. I tried to ignore her, that is until she lobbed one right on my hand where I was working. I was so tempted to chunk it back at her, but I couldn't as my supervisor was standing there.

Also Im missing sounds that I used to be able to hear, like the occassional buzz of my lamp. Now my daughter has to get my attention to tell me that the lamp is buzzing again, so I have to hit it to get it to stop buzzing.
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Eew, raw chicken?! Why didn't your supervisor yell at HER if he/she was standing right there? I would've gone off the handle.

About missing sounds, the same is happening to me. I don't hear when things boil in the kitchen if I'm in the dining room now, not 10 feet away (small apartment). My grandmother swears I'll burn the house down someday :giggle:
 
InnocentOdion said:
If it ain't working right, hit it until it does. :D

I find I'm doing the exact same thing! :)
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Hmmmm, something tells me you two should have your lamps repaired or discarded. Sounds like you might have a short somewhere or a loose connection that could be dangerous.
 
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