Making small talk with hearing strangers

Thks to PFH...he's made excellent sense!...Whenever I'm in a hurry and someone stops me and tries to make "small talk", I've always pointed to my ear and let them know I'm deaf or I can't hear, and "sorry" and go on about my business.....No way in the world should anyone feel obligated to converse with somebody when you've got "no time"....only if it's a dire emergency.

If I've got time and my mood is good and a stranger walks up and makes "small talk", and if I undy or don't undy what is being said, then I will nod my head and say I'm deaf but read lips.....and "can I help you?"....write or speak it....depends upon you. Even then, you're under no obligation to converse with "strangers".

Communication makes the world go round and round....hearies talk, deafies sign. We all should try to get along the best way we can, no pretence at all.
 
posts from hell said:
Give it a try. "I am deaf" They usually will go "oh." They will give you a pat on the back from once in a while because awkward silence needs to be filled by something so they will do something.
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I have done "I am deaf", but they say I can't be since I speak, have no HA's or CI. How would you respond to that?
 
KristinaB said:
I have done "I am deaf", but they say I can't be since I speak, have no HA's or CI. How would you respond to that?
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sign to them. :) "DEAF ME".. then they will have no reason to say you're not deaf.

AFTER that, you can see where you can start using your voice and have them write stuff down. ??? Just an idea?
 
KristinaB said:
That works, IF YOU KNOW SIGN!!!
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Yea, that too. KristinaB is an oral deaf just like I was. Maybe during my days of knowing no ASL, I had no choice.

Even with paper and pen..sometimes, they aren't available unless one carries them around. Growing up, I was taught into believing that it was my obligation to use my speech skills but when it came to the receptive part, I got many hearing people angry and frustrated with me because of the illusion that my being able to hear a lot better due to having good speech skills.

Now, I know ASL, I will try doing what PFH suggested. Old habits die hard.
 
faire_jour said:
Why are you mad at the hearing people? How are they supposed to know? Why is it their fault that you don't tell them that you are Deaf and tell them how to better communicate with you?
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I notice reading your seems complaint. I think so you are should really respect to other people. I knew can't complaint or aruge. reason you should be accept. You communicatino to people. You can't angry or complaint. I think so you are complaint. I seems you are have problem!
 
shel90 said:
Yea, that too. KristinaB is an oral deaf just like I was. Maybe during my days of knowing no ASL, I had no choice.

Even with paper and pen..sometimes, they aren't available unless one carries them around. Growing up, I was taught into believing that it was my obligation to use my speech skills but when it came to the receptive part, I got many hearing people angry and frustrated with me because of the illusion that my being able to hear a lot better due to having good speech skills.

Now, I know ASL, I will try doing what PFH suggested. Old habits die hard.
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It'll die very easily once you get used to it. Whats the worst that can happen? The same responses you get when you try to speak to them, literally.
 
smithtr said:
I notice reading your seems complaint. I think so you are should really respect to other people. I knew can't complaint or aruge. reason you should be accept. You communicatino to people. You can't angry or complaint. I think so you are complaint. I seems you are have problem!
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:gpost::thumb:
 
KristinaB said:
I have done "I am deaf", but they say I can't be since I speak, have no HA's or CI. How would you respond to that?
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"Deaf me" again with a smile and hopefully they'll get the hint
 
I don't agree with PFH because first of all if you sign "I am deaf" or "Deaf, me", I don't think hearing people will not know what you are signing. Remember the video of the Deaf shoppers in California where the Deaf man is trying to help his brother or cousin who was pin around the security guard's arms. The Deaf man was trying to explained to another security guard that he is deaf in signs but the guard ignored him completely. So that does not help any, because often time hearing people still think we can hear, not deaf or hard of hearing. They think we have to have hearing aids or CI to show them we have hearing disabilities and to show them we don't have perfect speech or sound like Deaf accent. It had been a struggle for me to try to understand hearing people every time I went out public and the strangers talked to me like as if I am normal hearing person. I did try to tell them I am deaf but they don't believe so that is why I had to nod and pretend that I understand them until they walked away or I walked away.

Like Souggy said, we are going around circles never getting anywhere when it comes to hearing people conversations. Maybe some of the hearing people get it when we said "I am deaf" or "Deaf, me" in sign, but not all of them hearing people. :roll:
 
Bebonang said:
I don't agree with PFH because first of all if you sign "I am deaf" or "Deaf, me", I don't think hearing people will not know what you are signing. Remember the video of the Deaf shoppers in California where the Deaf man is trying to help his brother or cousin who was pin around the security guard's arms. The Deaf man was trying to explained to another security guard that he is deaf in signs but the guard ignored him completely. So that does not help any, because often time hearing people still think we can hear, not deaf or hard of hearing. They think we have to have hearing aids or CI to show them we have hearing disabilities and to show them we don't have perfect speech or sound like Deaf accent. It had been a struggle for me to try to understand hearing people every time I went out public and the strangers talked to me like as if I am normal hearing person. I did try to tell them I am deaf but they don't believe so that is why I had to nod and pretend that I understand them until they walked away or I walked away.

Like Souggy said, we are going around circles never getting anywhere when it comes to hearing people conversations. Maybe some of the hearing people get it when we said "I am deaf" or "Deaf, me" in sign, but not all of them hearing people. :roll:
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there's a difference between chaotic situation and calm situation. Hearing people will most likely understand "Deaf me" at normal setting.
 
Soemtimes people get startled or surprised when the voice is being used afterwards when declaring ourselves. Sometimes they give us the syampthy, do we need that? I think not.
 
smithtr said:
I notice reading your seems complaint. I think so you are should really respect to other people. I knew can't complaint or aruge. reason you should be accept. You communicatino to people. You can't angry or complaint. I think so you are complaint. I seems you are have problem!
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:gpost:
 
faire_jour said:
I'm not talking about oral vs anything.

Shel said that hearing people need to make more effort to communicate. But everyone here says that they nod and pretend to understand. So, how is a hearing person supposed to "make the effort", if they have no idea that you aren't understanding?
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Nod and pretend to understand when it's a 5 second interaction. Would you seriously go into a long explanation about your deafness or hearing loss for every minor interaction? Who has time for that?
 
posts from hell said:
It'll die very easily once you get used to it. Whats the worst that can happen? The same responses you get when you try to speak to them, literally.
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This reminds me of something that almost happened the other day. I've met a few people who are learning to finger spell to communicate with me more easily. We were in the mall, and they were practicing with each other. The security guards thought they were making gang signs. Luckily the guards gave them a chance to explain it was sign language, not gang signs.
 
CJB said:
Nod and pretend to understand when it's a 5 second interaction. Would you seriously go into a long explanation about your deafness or hearing loss for every minor interaction? Who has time for that?
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I am sure after a month of this, FJ would get tired of it rather quickly.
 
CJB said:
Nod and pretend to understand when it's a 5 second interaction. Would you seriously go into a long explanation about your deafness or hearing loss for every minor interaction? Who has time for that?
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:giggle: don't look at me. i wonder who will do it.
 
same thing when I signed in front of hearing people and they would nod, smile and wander off too. apparently they have no time for me. :)
 
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