Father of hard of hearing daughter

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paul61

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Hi, I'm Paul. I'm a married accountant living in Washington. My youngest child is severly hard of hearing. She is 16 years old and is 90% deaf in her right ear and 60% in the other ear due to measles she had as a baby. I will admit that I have ignored my daughter a lot over the years. I spent a lot of time with my two sons and other daughter. My wife has coped a lot with my youngest on her own. I couldn't accept the fthat she was different. In the past two years I have developed a better relationship with my daughter and I want to make a bigger impact on the deaf/hoh communities. My daughter will also be undergoing a cochlear implant on April 13th. Are there are a lot of parents on this board or people who had difficulties with their children being different?
 
One question...

You have not accepted your daughter for a long time. What made you change your mind?
 
Agreed. Why now?

And I might also add that if you want to make an impact on the deaf/hoh community, you might start by having a postivie impact on your daughter's life.
 
Bet there will be a huge lot of us jumping in to agree here. :hmm:
 
Let's give the original poster a chance to answer. :)

By the way, Paul - Welcome to AllDeaf.

I also have a question as well. This is just based on my curiosity. You stated that you want to make a bigger impact on the deaf/hoh community. How do you plan on making a bigger impact? :)
 
Hi Paul you cant make to big of an impact on the Deaf community not really unless you can honstly say that you accept your daughter the way she is. A question is she getting her CI because it is what she really wants to do or is she getting it so Dad will accept her? She is no different than any of your other children she just can't hear and they can until you see the difference you can't make to big an impact on the deaf community not until you accept your daughter for herself her deafness has nothing to do with the person she is. I lost my hearing when I was 20 my family accepted it right off my parents took sign classes with me, my brother and cousins took sign classes to communicate with me. I love them dearly for that acceptence they didnt try to make me back into a hearing person. Ask yourself what can you bring to the table because you will meet many deaf people who sign, speak, have Implants are you willing to ajust to all these different types of deaf people? What kind of impact do you wish to make? because there are many different levels of deafness.
 
Anneice said:
Hi Paul you cant make to big of an impact on the Deaf community not really unless you can honstly say that you accept your daughter the way she is. A question is she getting her CI because it is what she really wants to do or is she getting it so Dad will accept her? She is no different than any of your other children she just can't hear and they can until you see the difference you can't make to big an impact on the deaf community not until you accept your daughter for herself her deafness has nothing to do with the person she is. I lost my hearing when I was 20 my family accepted it right off my parents took sign classes with me, my brother and cousins took sign classes to communicate with me. I love them dearly for that acceptence they didnt try to make me back into a hearing person. Ask yourself what can you bring to the table because you will meet many deaf people who sign, speak, have Implants are you willing to ajust to all these different types of deaf people? What kind of impact do you wish to make? because there are many different levels of deafness.
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:gpost: Bravo!!! :ty: for making it clear for Paul to understand why it is important to accept his daughter as she is, not because of CI. I am very impressed and happy. :welcome: to AllDeaf forum, Anneice and Paul61. I hope you both have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around. :wave:
 
Babyblue said:
One question...

You have not accepted your daughter for a long time. What made you change your mind?
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JClarke said:
I'm with Babyblue
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I didn't have the patience to deal with her as a toddler and small child. I hated the fact I had a child who had special needs. In the past couple my two older sons and older daughter moved out to attend college, join the military and attend trade schools. I got to know my daughter more and realized how badly I have treated her and ignored her.
 
Jolie77 said:
Let's give the original poster a chance to answer. :)

By the way, Paul - Welcome to AllDeaf.

I also have a question as well. This is just based on my curiosity. You stated that you want to make a bigger impact on the deaf/hoh community. How do you plan on making a bigger impact? :)
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Thank for the welcome. I think I want to educate people on the deaf/hoh community and somehow help hearing parents deal with parenting a deaf/hoh children. I regret neglecting my daughter but maybe I could help others not end up on the same path.

Anneice said:
Hi Paul you cant make to big of an impact on the Deaf community not really unless you can honstly say that you accept your daughter the way she is. A question is she getting her CI because it is what she really wants to do or is she getting it so Dad will accept her? She is no different than any of your other children she just can't hear and they can until you see the difference you can't make to big an impact on the deaf community not until you accept your daughter for herself her deafness has nothing to do with the person she is. I lost my hearing when I was 20 my family accepted it right off my parents took sign classes with me, my brother and cousins took sign classes to communicate with me. I love them dearly for that acceptence they didnt try to make me back into a hearing person. Ask yourself what can you bring to the table because you will meet many deaf people who sign, speak, have Implants are you willing to ajust to all these different types of deaf people? What kind of impact do you wish to make? because there are many different levels of deafness.
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Hi there. I agree I have accepted my daughter the way she is. We have researched CI for a few years. My wife and I never pressured her into it. Last August, my daughter told us about wanting a CI in the ear that is more serious. She told us she wants to hear better in order to have a easier time at school and when she attends college. She wears hearing aids in both ears. We started the process shortly after with physicals and all the necessary medical work, aud evaluations etc. We sometimes almost ask my daughter daily if she is willing to go through with the CI and she stills says yes. She does say that she is nervous about the surgery. We also found a week ago that my wife will have to fly out on business the night of the surgery so I will be helping my daughter with her recovery as my wife will be gone for four days. I know some ASL and will try to become more fluent. I hope I can help any person with any kind of impairment. I know it isn't easy but I'm willing to help others or make some kind of small impact.
 
Welcome to AD Paul! :welcome:

I'm a pretty new hearie to the board and found lots of information on here! If you stay tuned and are open to learn about the deaf community I am sure you will make yourself some friends on here! :giggle:

Glad to read that you are getting closer to your daughter! I am sure it is a huge step for both of you! Deaf or hoh she is your daughter!

:bye: JamieLynn
 
Shadow said:
Welcome :wave:
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ArkieGal said:
Welcome to AllDeaf! :wave:
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JamieLynn said:
Welcome to AD Paul! :welcome:

I'm a pretty new hearie to the board and found lots of information on here! If you stay tuned and are open to learn about the deaf community I am sure you will make yourself some friends on here! :giggle:

Glad to read that you are getting closer to your daughter! I am sure it is a huge step for both of you! Deaf or hoh she is your daughter!

:bye: JamieLynn
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Thank you all for the welcomes.
 
Your explaination to our curiosuity has explained well. I hope for your daugther all the best in the CI surgery.
 
Welcome to AD! I had been reading the thread about your daughter's upcoming surgery.
 
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