Why do deaf people treat their own so wrong?

jillio said:
Absolutely. That occurs in all cultures, not just the Deaf.
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yep... even black people. There are handful of black people who are racist to other black people simply because their skins are "too black" or if they talk "too white"

wtf? :roll:
 
Jiro said:
yep... even black people. There are handful of black people who are racist to other black people simply because their skins are "too black" or if they talk "too white"

wtf? :roll:
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This is true. Colorism is alive and well in the black community. Unfortunate. :roll:
 
Jiro said:
yep... even black people. There are handful of black people who are racist to other black people simply because their skins are "too black" or if they talk "too white"

wtf? :roll:
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Yeah. I think it happens more often in minority cultures of any kind.
 
Jiro said:
yep... even black people. There are handful of black people who are racist to other black people simply because their skins are "too black" or if they talk "too white"

wtf? :roll:
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My huby isn't accepted by many blacks even some in his own family cuz he talks "too white". He said he doesn't care just like I don't care if some deaf people don't like me. Not everyone has to be the best of friends with everyone.

As for treating each other badly...I don't really see that too often here on AD. Disagreements, sure but plain meanness, not too often.
 
Berry said:
My mother always taught me: NEVER let someone else make their problems your problems.

Many, many people who are angry, insecure, hurt, low self esteem, rejected, guilt ridden, disappointed, tend to want to pass on their problems to others by making others feel the same way. Sometimes this is only a short term thing, an hour, a day, a week, when they are hit the hardest. This is common behavior and is easy to fall into, but try not to do it yourself.

For other people it is a life long pattern.

Many, if not most of these people would not have problems themselves if they had not unwittingly accepted them from someone else. Thus the vast majority of mental and emotional problems are passed on from person to person in the same way a germ or a flu virus is passed on.

But unlike a germ or a virus once you know you have a choice, then you do have a choice.

Recognize it is their problem, not your problem.

Reject the emotions and ideas they attempt to foster in you. Refuse to feel, think, or react, as they would have you do.

When they leave picture them dragging all their mental and emotional burdens after them. If any single thing is left behind, no matter how insignificant, picture kicking it away from you.

You don't want it.
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I totally agree with you and your mother was right on.
 
Berry said:
Many, many people who are angry, insecure, hurt, low self esteem, rejected, guilt ridden, disappointed, tend to want to pass on their problems to others by making others feel the same way.
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I like to call it "misery loves company syndrome". :roll:
 
Berry said:
Many, if not most of these people would not have problems themselves if they had not unwittingly accepted them from someone else. Thus the vast majority of mental and emotional problems are passed on from person to person in the same way a germ or a flu virus is passed on.
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i disagree with this statement because it gives the impression that those of us like myself with "mental problems" or mental illness deliberately pass on our depression, hurt, anger -- whatever -- to others and/or are to blame for how we feel. i'm not responsible for my bipolar and i don't choose to bring other people down with me whenever i'm feeling depressed or angry. instead, i go out of my way to avoid others so that i don't end up saying something i don't mean. (if i misinterpreted your post berry, let me know.)
 
jasin said:
When I was being denied my deaf rights it was not a deaf person who came to my defense it was a hearing person.

The deaf would not really do anything for me. Its like, if it did not benefit them personally then why should they do anything for me? Its really sad how the deaf treat their own fellow deafies in the community.
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Same thing happened to me.

I'll tell you why.

Jealousy. I live a life way different than that deaf person who's insecured since everyone brainwashed that person into thinking that being deaf has so much flaws.

I'm different, I think flaws are what makes us unique and different. All deaf people are the same? PFFT. EVEN KING JORDAN WOULD OBJECT.

Even Jordan wouldn't defend me for my deafness. But with no regrets, I stood up for myself and others in the name of THE WOLF.

Jealousy can make people not think at all.
 
Hear Again said:
i disagree with this statement because it gives the impression that those of us like myself with "mental problems" or mental illness deliberately pass on our depression, hurt, anger -- whatever -- to others and/or are to blame for how we feel. i'm not responsible for my bipolar and i don't choose to bring other people down with me whenever i'm feeling depressed or angry. instead, i go out of my way to avoid others so that i don't end up saying something i don't mean. (if i misinterpreted your post berry, let me know.)

,
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First I don't think it would give that impression to anyone who had been around people who acknowledged they had mental or emotional problems. They are busy trying to deal with their problems.

Second I have never seen anyone delibrately try to pass on their hurt, pain, or whatever. They are oblivious to what they are doing and why. The minute they recognised their own actions they would be on the first step to a "cure."


Third they are totally unaware they have a problem. They see everyone else as having a problem.

Sort of like this old saw:

If you meet one jerk in a day, you probably met a jerk that day.

If you meet two jerks in one day, it is possible you met two jerks.

If you meet three jerks a day, admit it, you are a jerk.
 
Berry said:
First I don't think it would give that impression to anyone who had been around people who acknowledged they had mental or emotional problems.
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you'd be surprised. as someone who has bipolar, i've talked to people who have claimed i was ruining their day because of my depression. they place the blame on me and think it's my fault for being depressed and that i can just "snap out of it."
 
Berry said:
My mother always taught me: NEVER let someone else make their problems your problems.

Many, many people who are angry, insecure, hurt, low self esteem, rejected, guilt ridden, disappointed, tend to want to pass on their problems to others by making others feel the same way. Sometimes this is only a short term thing, an hour, a day, a week, when they are hit the hardest. This is common behavior and is easy to fall into, but try not to do it yourself.

For other people it is a life long pattern.

Many, if not most of these people would not have problems themselves if they had not unwittingly accepted them from someone else. Thus the vast majority of mental and emotional problems are passed on from person to person in the same way a germ or a flu virus is passed on.

But unlike a germ or a virus once you know you have a choice, then you do have a choice.

Recognize it is their problem, not your problem.

Reject the emotions and ideas they attempt to foster in you. Refuse to feel, think, or react, as they would have you do.

When they leave picture them dragging all their mental and emotional burdens after them. If any single thing is left behind, no matter how insignificant, picture kicking it away from you.

You don't want it.
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I agree. That's how I usually look at problems. If it's my problem, I don't involve others. If others come to me with problems, I don't jump right away to make it my problem. If it's something that can be easily resolved without further problems, I'll help. Other than that, I just say "sorry to hear about that" and keep my distance.

This was a big issue at NTID/RIT. A lot of deaf students got involved with other deaf students' problems. :roll:
 
Hear Again said:
i disagree with this statement because it gives the impression that those of us like myself with "mental problems" or mental illness deliberately pass on our depression, hurt, anger -- whatever -- to others and/or are to blame for how we feel. i'm not responsible for my bipolar and i don't choose to bring other people down with me whenever i'm feeling depressed or angry. instead, i go out of my way to avoid others so that i don't end up saying something i don't mean. (if i misinterpreted your post berry, let me know.)
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Of course, in my experience, if everybody understood these conditions, there would be no need for you to avoid people. If anybody brings me down, it's myself. I find nothing mysterious about bipolar whatsoever, and I know it's not your fault the way you come across, and so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
 
Hear Again said:
i disagree with this statement because it gives the impression that those of us like myself with "mental problems" or mental illness deliberately pass on our depression, hurt, anger -- whatever -- to others and/or are to blame for how we feel. i'm not responsible for my bipolar and i don't choose to bring other people down with me whenever i'm feeling depressed or angry. instead, i go out of my way to avoid others so that i don't end up saying something i don't mean. (if i misinterpreted your post berry, let me know.)
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that's why Berry said most... not all. I actually agree with Berry. It's the damning cycle. In other word - the children whose parents (either mom or dad or both) with depression/anxiety issue are predisposed to it than those whose parents do not have depression/anxiety issue.

A child growing up with abusive father is predisposed to be one as well at later age. Same for alcoholism. Of course... not all but I think it's overwhelming enough to establish that link.
 
Jiro said:
that's why Berry said most... not all. I actually agree with Berry. It's the damning cycle. In other word - the children whose parents (either mom or dad or both) with depression/anxiety issue are predisposed to it than those whose parents do not have depression/anxiety issue.
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if a child is predisposed to depression, it's most likely due to genetics -- not exposure.
 
SimplyMints said:
Of course, in my experience, if everybody understood these conditions, there would be no need for you to avoid people. If anybody brings me down, it's myself. I find nothing mysterious about bipolar whatsoever, and I know it's not your fault the way you come across, and so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
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thank you, mints.
 
Hear Again said:
if a child is predisposed to depression, it's most likely due to genetics -- not exposure.
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if that's the case... then what about alcoholism? violence? the destructive behavior? That's why it's so hard to bridge the link with certainty.
 
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