What do you agree that Sex-offender parents pose dilemma for schools?

[LovelyBlkGal]

sis LostPanther yes I do believe you have met my son once. And while I am heartbroken and mad about what happened. I decided to leave it all up to God and know that God will somehow, someway deal out justice to those that have done my son wrong.

Hugs and thanks for those words

Ur more much welcome and just hang in there and have faith for ur son and oh yea hope the police will wake up and make mistake arrest ur son last 4 years ago and you shuld sue their's ass

 

[Angel]

Aww Bear I feel for you as a mother...

 

[Bear]

ah,, I don't blame you at all when it hard to prove the innocent of your son charge. I agree with you that detectors test is NOT admissable in court. So you can't use the test to prove it. I have read some stories and seen some news that some people get send to jail or prison for a crime they didn't really do and cost them their life taken away and have so much emotional break down they suffered. it really sad. I agree with your statements. You gave me lot to think about the bigger picture.

GTM,

Im glad I made you think with my posts. That was the purpose of posting some of my story.

I believe making you think about the bigger picture is the purpose of this forum. And sadly, one all too well missed. What is the point of a debate, if not to make one think? If not to make one think that there may be a whole other side to a story that they are missing?

I believe we achieved that goal here. Thus, the debate is working the way it should. I read the other sides story and I do believe they have some valid points.

A true sexual predator does not deserve those rights. I would not want a true sexual predator in the same room as my child either.

But, at the same time, when people see the sex offender registry, they do not really pay attention to the classification that a offender is registered under. There is almost always a description of the offense that that person committed. I would say at least 50 % of the time *and that is a conservative estimate* it may be higher, that people do not read the descriptions or classifications. They just see a picture and assume.

I have a friend who is on the registry. He did do what he was accused of. But, he has paid his debt and got out and is now a model citizen. I won't tell what he did here for his privacy. This friend is hearing though, so the deaf community at large would not know him. This friend, of mine, even has children that live with him and children that dont live with him. He would never dream of harming his own children, much less those of someone else's.

Should my friend have to give up his rights too? Even though he has been out of jail for over 5 years *maybe more* and lived the life of a model citizen? Even though, he continues to advocate to others not to do what he did? Even though he works and pays his taxes?

I would prefer a man like my friend to be *safe* from the persecution he faces being on the registry, than for someone who is a true predator.

My definition of a true predator? One that has preyed on innocent children. One that has raped over and over. One that has no feelings of remorse for his crimes. One that while commiting the crime used violence.

Not all rapes are with the use of violence. My definition of violence is using not only force *which is natural in rape ofc you are forced* but also someone who beats the hell out of the victim, stalks the victim afer the crime, uses knives or guns in the commission of he crime.

That is the type of person that I wanna see kept of the street.

I do not wanna see people like my son who was just a victim of an unfortunate circumstance suffer as a true predator should.

 

[Bear]

Angel

 

[christlovedeaf]

GTM,

Im glad I made you think with my posts. That was the purpose of posting some of my story.

I believe making you think about the bigger picture is the purpose of this forum. And sadly, one all too well missed. What is the point of a debate, if not to make one think? If not to make one think that there may be a whole other side to a story that they are missing?

I believe we achieved that goal here. Thus, the debate is working the way it should. I read the other sides story and I do believe they have some valid points.

A true sexual predator does not deserve those rights. I would not want a true sexual predator in the same room as my child either.

But, at the same time, when people see the sex offender registry, they do not really pay attention to the classification that a offender is registered under. There is almost always a description of the offense that that person committed. I would say at least 50 % of the time *and that is a conservative estimate* it may be higher, that people do not read the descriptions or classifications. They just see a picture and assume.

I have a friend who is on the registry. He did do what he was accused of. But, he has paid his debt and got out and is now a model citizen. I won't tell what he did here for his privacy. This friend is hearing though, so the deaf community at large would not know him. This friend, of mine, even has children that live with him and children that dont live with him. He would never dream of harming his own children, much less those of someone else's.

Should my friend have to give up his rights too? Even though he has been out of jail for over 5 years *maybe more* and lived the life of a model citizen? Even though, he continues to advocate to others not to do what he did? Even though he works and pays his taxes?

I would prefer a man like my friend to be *safe* from the persecution he faces being on the registry, than for someone who is a true predator.

My definition of a true predator? One that has preyed on innocent children. One that has raped over and over. One that has no feelings of remorse for his crimes. One that while commiting the crime used violence.

Not all rapes are with the use of violence. My definition of violence is using not only force *which is natural in rape ofc you are forced* but also someone who beats the hell out of the victim, stalks the victim afer the crime, uses knives or guns in the commission of he crime.

That is the type of person that I wanna see kept of the street.

I do not wanna see people like my son who was just a victim of an unfortunate circumstance suffer as a true predator should.

that is exactly correct. To me, it called abuse of power which to timidate people no matter who you are and blocking everything to put yourself injustice treatments. Its brutally.

 

[Aleser]

I believe that this is ONLY valid if the person is convicted of an offense involving children or adolescents. If he was, he should NOT have his own children with him in the first place.

Sexual offenses that don't involve children aren't any more dangerous than the countless other criminal parents who can come on campus simply because their crime doesn't require registration as an offender.

If you think the parent is a threat to children in the school, what valid argument do you have to keep ANY child, even their child, with the parent?

 

[Reba]

...If you think the parent is a threat to children in the school, what valid argument do you have to keep ANY child, even their child, with the parent?

I don't think the sex offender parent should have custody of the child. In the school scenario, it's possible that a non-custodial parent might still want to attend school meetings.

 

[dreama]

Bear: I'm sorry to hear about your son. It must be terrible for him and for you.

I would still not want a pedephile to be alowed near children. Also it's often hard to prove these things. There are many many caes of women and even children being abused and nobody believing them, even getting labeled as trouble makers like my friend's daughter. So when someone does get convicted then of course they arn't likely to get much sympathy.

I'm surprised someone as young as 12 should get convicted though. That is too young.

 

[Bear]

Bear: I'm sorry to hear about your son. It must be terrible for him and for you.

I would still not want a pedephile to be alowed near children. Also it's often hard to prove these things. There are many many caes of women and even children being abused and nobody believing them, even getting labeled as trouble makers like my friend's daughter. So when someone does get convicted then of course they arn't likely to get much sympathy.

I'm surprised someone as young as 12 should get convicted though. That is too young.

Yes I do agree with you about pedophiles. They should not be allowed near children. But my point is in today's society we are just all too willing to believe the worst without getting the full stories.

For example, a teacher is accused of sexually molesting some students. Im sure this has happened before as well, I have seen some made for TV movies about it. That teacher was accused because he was failing these students and those students wanted revenge.

Now, the moment other parents hear of this story, the first thing they do is demand that the teacher be fired or suspended, then they remove their children from the school till said teacher is fired.

Next up is a *smear* on that teachers record for the rest of his or her life. Even when found innocent there are those that believe they were truly in fact guilty. Therefore, that teacher never teaches again. Also that teacher is often made to feel like his life in that community is over and forced to move.

Not everyone accused is innocent I realize this. But, sadly for those that are. Their lives are a living hell for them. If that accused teacher had kids, then his own kids are removed from the home. The whole family suffers.


I do agree that pedophiles need to be kept away from our children and schools. But how do you propose to do this? Once that pedophile is released from prison after serving his or her time, they are free to move right into your neighborhood.

While schools could limit them from coming to school functions and being on school grounds, what could the parents do to protect their children?

I know when my kids were growing up, I was very careful about who I allowed around my children. I didnt just allow any old neighbor to be talking to them, and when they were outside, I was right outside with them watching them play.

I know there is no 100% way of protecting your kids unless you dont allow them out your sight 24/7, but realisticly that is not gonna happen. I dont really see where you can stop a predator a 100% of the time. They could be a family member, a long time family friend, your next door neighbor, a teacher, a bus driver. Anyone could be a predator, but yet we cant keep our kids in a *cocoon* until they are 18.

The only measures I see that we can honestly take to protect our children is to teach our children prevention.

When my kids were growing up, I was constantly alerting them to the dangers of strange people. I told them about how even people they knew could be a bad person. Its sad we have to do this to our children at such young ages. But in my opinion an ounce of awareness leads to prevention.

I taught them to keep their curtains and blinds in their rooms drawn at all times. I taught them if while they were walking and someone approached them either in a car or on foot, to immediately tell that person to leave them alone, and if they didnt do so immediately to scream. I warned them how people would offer them *candy*, how people would ask for help to look for their lost doggie and etc.

Every day I would sit my kids down before school and ask them about all the *warnings* and what they should do or not do.

I realize that all of this wont 100% protect them, but it does go a long way in helping to do so.

In closing, I believe that we can try to keep a pedophile away from our children and away from temptation, but in the end it is what we teach our children that may be what keeps them safe.

P.S. ty dreama, while it may be hard to believe and shocking that a 12 year old can be convicted of this, sadly it does happen. I have all those court papers to prove that. There are many things that society as a whole does not know happens and would be truly saddened to know what our system does to these children.

 

[christlovedeaf]

as sex offenders are different than sexual predators. if is sex offenders, depend on the situation can have custody of the child, but if its predators, should keep it apart. some sex offenders absolutely harmless, not even tendency to do anything to do with kids. ALL, I mean ALL people who look at the label, then draw the line with regard is the apathy category. Bec I have known some as i told before going thru turmoil bec ignorant people have no clue what is sex offender is and even dont care as I say they are as bad with their rude attitude. Friend of mine really going thru painful moments. Good thing is someone that knows him very well let him take care of their kids, bec they knows he's not that kind of a person at all and not even a glimpse of it. Some neighbors got too hysterical, one flat out told then you are as bad as the "real" sex offenders. They dont care what his situation is. They are as evil and poor judgements. People who arent label get easy way to do anything to say things harmful. Even you know, they can destroy his property they want, law not going to do anything about it. PFFFT, that is why, they are as bad, to harm innocent people who been used or accused the person to be a sex offenders. That is equal as predators behaviors. One thing I told my friend, they will be judge by God, bec He knows your pain and what you are going thru. Those people will suffer of their behavior even the D A will even suffer from God. Sorry, if its in the religion issue. Bec, this is really uncall for. I do agree we have to be cautious about this. Bec many been casting the stone to the accused or used or treated unjustly. Our justice system is very very political and unethical very extremely poorly.

 

[Bear]

as sex offenders are different than sexual predators. if is sex offenders, depend on the situation can have custody of the child, but if its predators, should keep it apart. some sex offenders absolutely harmless, not even tendency to do anything to do with kids. ALL, I mean ALL people who look at the label, then draw the line with regard is the apathy category. Bec I have known some as i told before going thru turmoil bec ignorant people have no clue what is sex offender is and even dont care as I say they are as bad with their rude attitude. Friend of mine really going thru painful moments. Good thing is someone that knows him very well let him take care of their kids, bec they knows he's not that kind of a person at all and not even a glimpse of it. Some neighbors got too hysterical, one flat out told then you are as bad as the "real" sex offenders. They dont care what his situation is. They are as evil and poor judgements. People who arent label get easy way to do anything to say things harmful. Even you know, they can destroy his property they want, law not going to do anything about it. PFFFT, that is why, they are as bad, to harm innocent people who been used or accused the person to be a sex offenders. That is equal as predators behaviors. One thing I told my friend, they will be judge by God, bec He knows your pain and what you are going thru. Those people will suffer of their behavior even the D A will even suffer from God. Sorry, if its in the religion issue. Bec, this is really uncall for. I do agree we have to be cautious about this. Bec many been casting the stone to the accused or used or treated unjustly. Our justice system is very very political and unethical very extremely poorly.

agreed Christlovedeaf, this is why I advocate for the sex offender registry to be made available to law enforcement or emergency workers only. I do not believe we have the right to know so that we may destroy these lives as we have been doing so.

 

[Hwy99]

as sex offenders are different than sexual predators. if is sex offenders, depend on the situation can have custody of the child, but if its predators, should keep it apart. some sex offenders absolutely harmless, not even tendency to do anything to do with kids. ALL, I mean ALL people who look at the label, then draw the line with regard is the apathy category. Bec I have known some as i told before going thru turmoil bec ignorant people have no clue what is sex offender is and even dont care as I say they are as bad with their rude attitude. Friend of mine really going thru painful moments. Good thing is someone that knows him very well let him take care of their kids, bec they knows he's not that kind of a person at all and not even a glimpse of it. Some neighbors got too hysterical, one flat out told then you are as bad as the "real" sex offenders. They dont care what his situation is. They are as evil and poor judgements. People who arent label get easy way to do anything to say things harmful. Even you know, they can destroy his property they want, law not going to do anything about it. PFFFT, that is why, they are as bad, to harm innocent people who been used or accused the person to be a sex offenders. That is equal as predators behaviors. One thing I told my friend, they will be judge by God, bec He knows your pain and what you are going thru. Those people will suffer of their behavior even the D A will even suffer from God. Sorry, if its in the religion issue. Bec, this is really uncall for. I do agree we have to be cautious about this. Bec many been casting the stone to the accused or used or treated unjustly. Our justice system is very very political and unethical very extremely poorly.

Good Post Good Post

 

[christlovedeaf]

thanks bear and puyo. Want other see as using as political involvement, But as for me, I am looking at the realilty of personal situations. Again, thanks so much. mwahs

 

[Hwy99]

thanks bear and puyo. Want other see as using as political involvement, But as for me, I am looking at the realilty of personal situations. Again, thanks so much. mwahs

Yupp I always pick the personal over political, but sometimes the political can be important for some reason too..

And no problemo

 

[Liebling:-)))]

as sex offenders are different than sexual predators. if is sex offenders, depend on the situation can have custody of the child, but if its predators, should keep it apart. some sex offenders absolutely harmless, not even tendency to do anything to do with kids. ALL, I mean ALL people who look at the label, then draw the line with regard is the apathy category. Bec I have known some as i told before going thru turmoil bec ignorant people have no clue what is sex offender is and even dont care as I say they are as bad with their rude attitude. Friend of mine really going thru painful moments. Good thing is someone that knows him very well let him take care of their kids, bec they knows he's not that kind of a person at all and not even a glimpse of it. Some neighbors got too hysterical, one flat out told then you are as bad as the "real" sex offenders. They dont care what his situation is. They are as evil and poor judgements. People who arent label get easy way to do anything to say things harmful. Even you know, they can destroy his property they want, law not going to do anything about it. PFFFT, that is why, they are as bad, to harm innocent people who been used or accused the person to be a sex offenders. That is equal as predators behaviors. One thing I told my friend, they will be judge by God, bec He knows your pain and what you are going thru. Those people will suffer of their behavior even the D A will even suffer from God. Sorry, if its in the religion issue. Bec, this is really uncall for. I do agree we have to be cautious about this. Bec many been casting the stone to the accused or used or treated unjustly. Our justice system is very very political and unethical very extremely poorly.

they should focus on REAL predator.

 

[deafdyke]

Awwww Bear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you maybe thought about publicizing it? What about organizations?
Maybe the reason why you're having trouble finding a pro bono lawyer is due to the nature of the offense. Seriously......especially since the other little boy had an extensive history of sexual molestation!!!! Can you maybe try to hire a private investigator and try to find psychiatirc stuff?
The other little boy sounds very very sick. Maybe his mom's in denial.
Personally, I'd have to say it depends on the offense. My old jr high gym teacher who molested one of my friends in 8th grade, and who raped (and had a long relationship with) another girl, should NEVER EVER be let near a school.
Rape, it also depends. Stranger rape NO. One of my friends was raped in a dentist's office. The fucker who did that should be in jail for the rest of their lives.
Actually if the sex offense is VERY serious, I think that they should be locked up FOREVER in one of those prisons for the criminally insane.

 

[Bear]

Awwww Bear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you maybe thought about publicizing it? What about organizations?
Maybe the reason why you're having trouble finding a pro bono lawyer is due to the nature of the offense. Seriously......especially since the other little boy had an extensive history of sexual molestation!!!! Can you maybe try to hire a private investigator and try to find psychiatirc stuff?
The other little boy sounds very very sick. Maybe his mom's in denial.
Personally, I'd have to say it depends on the offense. My old jr high gym teacher who molested one of my friends in 8th grade, and who raped (and had a long relationship with) another girl, should NEVER EVER be let near a school.
Rape, it also depends. Stranger rape NO. One of my friends was raped in a dentist's office. The fucker who did that should be in jail for the rest of their lives.
Actually if the sex offense is VERY serious, I think that they should be locked up FOREVER in one of those prisons for the criminally insane.

DD thanks hon and yes I have thought about publicizing it but with very vague threats from CPS at the time that if I did then they would see to it that I never got my son back, I was too afraid to. And he is still under the juristiction *sp?* of that court so to publicize it gives them the motivation to make it harder for us to get him back.

The one thing I can say about the town that my son was convicted in is that it is a very dirty town. They do not play fair.

As for hiring a private investigator, I can't afford to. But I do know the other kids history because sadly it all involved supposed family of my sons. The other mother is actually my sons aunt through marraige *not my own* and I knew the other mother for many years. We all basically grew up together and through very complicated family ties there on his dad's side it involves family members. So getting and knowing that child's history was not hard for me to do. I know for a fact that her son has never even been in counseling.

This happened when my son was 12 and her son was 10! Mind you that 10 year old was accused 4 times? But they say my son was the instigator and never accused before? I had my son in counseling for ADD problems and nothing sexual has ever come out in his counseling sessions. The other boy's mother knew about her sons past. It all just really sucks and broke my heart alot over these past 4 years. And sometimes when telling my story I end up in tears because it breaks my heart knowing that if I had been rich enough to fight these assholes *sorry mods* then my son would never have seen the inside of the courthouse. I have shared my sons story with alot of people and someday I may even share it here in AD.

Right now though Im not ready to share the full story with everyone here due to well you know how some people can be. Im not sure I am ready to stand up to those types of people yet. but when my son is out and Im feeling stronger and more ready to deal with it then I will share his story here. It is very appalling how the system can just railroad you, if you dont have the money to fight it.

As for private organizations, I am not sure of which you speak of?

I have actually thought about making my son's story into a book after he is 18and safe from the system. I think alot of people do need a serious wake up call about how our system can just not only ruin adult lives but our childrens as well. If I had the money and could afford it, I would seriously advocate for better juvenile rights.

Someday, I may be able to. It is a dream I have. And I pray to God daily that he will find a way for me to be able to not only help my son fight those that did this to him, but also fight against it happening to another unfortunate child.

I believe that with a charge as serious as rape is, that we need to be more careful about getting proof that a rape did in fact happen. Too many times, people are wrongly convicted either out of remorse or revenge.

While I agree rape does happen and sometimes the rapists know to make their victims take a shower or use condoms or whatever they may do, the sad fact remains that many innocents do get convicted with very little ways available to them to prove their innocence.

In my son's case he was convicted on a simple he said case. At 12 years old my son was terrified, allowed no access to his mother, and they talked to him from 4:00 pm till 4:30 at the other mother's house before I was even notified that they were talking to him.

How that is legal? I have no idea. No rape kit done! How that is legal? I have no idea. But was told it is all legal.

DD if you know of any organizations that could help us, I would welcome the info.

 

[Reba]

they should focus on REAL predator.

How do you recognize a "REAL predator"?

 

[Reba]

...DD if you know of any organizations that could help us, I would welcome the info.

Have you contacted this group? They might be interested in helping your son or maybe can put you in touch with someone in your area who can help you.

The Innocence Project - Home

Also:

Ohio Innocence Project
University of Cincinnati College of Law
P.O. Box 210040
Cincinnatti, OH 45221-0020

 

[deafdyke]

Yes, Reba that's exactly the kind of org I was talking about.
I have friends who are lawyers. I will ask around. And I hear you about the he said shit...............I experianced some stuff like that when I was at college. (although much milder) Almost sounds like the other little boy is a sociopath or something. (eg remember in the second Child's Play where he's in foster care, and Chuckie kills one of the parents, but frames the boy and the parent thinks that he did it but is blaming Chuckie?)