Sex on first date?

[HiBluE01]

I did sex with my first ex-fiance and we were sex everday.

HiBluE01

 

[C.C.Sinned]

ROFLMAO! No, I'm not 10. because it was joke a long time ago. Actually, I'm 19 years old. Alright, I will change my profile for birthday. Lol

Wow I feel much better now... Thanks DoVip.

 

[DoVip]

Wow I feel much better now... Thanks DoVip.

No problem. lol. I saw your profile. You are older than me. Hehe.

 

[WhisperHorse]

do you have sex on first date? I think the relationship is doomed when that happens....

I voted yes because I had sex with my wonderful finacee when we met for first time. It's wonderful. And I really love him. He and I been together since September 23.

But I do agree its not good idea to having sex on first date. I made miskate but thank god for having him and everything. I knew he would respect me if I dont want to have sex with him that time. But I wanted to.

 

[Vance]

The best way is to wait until you are married. I know a lot of people regret having sex before marriage.

I know a lot, lot and lot of people regret having sex right after marriage when they found out that they were insatisfied with their sex, lovemaking and romantic skills. It is quite lot of them who weren't satifsfied with their ex-husbands/ex-wives.

Actually, mostly 'fault' lies in men, most of men refuse to adapt or learn the new 'techniques' to satisfy women and their needs. They often expect women to put up with their lousy techniques which often leads to unhappy married couples and end up divorced/separated (men's and women's satisfactions & needs are completely different). It happens many, many and many times


Anyway back to this topic, I haven't sex with any gals on first date but I do in few months later or so and also wait until certain level of relationship develops to the point where we are confident enough to share our passions. My latest girlfriend, Nas is very happy and she repeatedly told me that she will never regret that we did. Actually, I avoid to do that with any women on first date for good reason. I mean, I have the morals and I don't like to take advantage of women. One thing, I never make a first move in sex issue to ensure their confidentness in their decisions.

 

[disabilitywatch]

I haven't sex...for i'm single.

 

[BabyAngel]

No I don't believe to have sex on the first date because you must know this person's background and everything first before you feel it is time.

 

[DeafVeggie]

I know a lot, lot and lot of people regret having sex right after marriage when they found out that they were insatisfied with their sex, lovemaking and romantic skills. It is quite lot of them who weren't satifsfied with their ex-husbands/ex-wives.

Huh? Are you trying to tell me that the main cause of divorce because of this???? I think not.

Listen, Magatsu. I have been reading all of this topic threads and I recognized two groups:

1) "...regret having sex right after marriage".

2) "...regret having sex before marriage".

So, which side are you regretting for?


Anyway, my response is:

#2 is worse in pain for....women. I know by facts because they wish to stay virgin to give to the adorable gentleman and lifelong companionship in the world for his prized reward on the first sex night of their honeymoon.

#1 is part of marriage learning curve! They can always learn and improve the sexual relationship during the course of marriage. That's what a marriage is all about it - to learn one another and develop together.

Please do not laugh...my folks have been married for almost 50 years. I asked them once before if they were "virgins". They were. Then, I asked them how can they learn to have enjoyable sex without the "experience" at first. Remember, there were no X-rated movies and "sex ed" 50 years ago. They went to the doctor and received the similar book called, "Johnson and Johnson". There, they had several children and still enjoy sexual relationship to this day.

Actually, mostly 'fault' lies in men, most of men refuse to adapt or learn the new 'techniques' to satisfy women and their needs. They often expect women to put up with their lousy techniques which often leads to unhappy married couples and end up divorced/separated (men's and women's satisfactions & needs are completely different). It happens many, many and many times

:topic: Putting the fault on men?? No. Women, too. It takes two to create a hot steamy sex scene. If a man is a hot stud and did the foreplay excerising while the woman just spreads her legs and did nothing like a toy doll, then their sex activity is dud. Both of the man and woman must do the variety of motion techniques and do the sexual fanasties. They could watch some X-rated movies to learn the "art of skills" and garden-variety tips, not just sit to *drool* at the movies.

~DV

 

[The*Empress]

Yeah,, so that when I sleep with the guy...
I can say "SEE YA"... and leave him some cash...
and walk out the door...
to make him look cheap...

That is how some men treated women these days...
So why not we women do it?

 

[DoVip]

 

[Vance]

:topic:

Huh? Are you trying to tell me that the main cause of divorce because of this???? I think not.

Listen, Magatsu. I have been reading all of this topic threads and I recognized two groups:

1) "...regret having sex right after marriage".

2) "...regret having sex before marriage".

So, which side are you regretting for?


Anyway, my response is:

#2 is worse in pain for....women. I know by facts because they wish to stay virgin to give to the adorable gentleman and lifelong companionship in the world for his prized reward on the first sex night of their honeymoon.

#1 is part of marriage learning curve! They can always learn and improve the sexual relationship during the course of marriage. That's what a marriage is all about it - to learn one another and develop together.

uh?...why on the earth are you misreading or jumping to the conclusion about my comments? I reread my post recently and I haven't seen anywhere 'main cause of divorce' in my post. It appears that I have to repeat myself to make it clear: I was saying that I know lot and lot of people who divorced or are unhappy married couples because of not 'met' their needs or requirements in sex, lovemaking or romantic activities after marriage. Note: I didn't say all or 'main', I was saying 'lot and lot'. What more is that my aunt is a certified family therapist (she is hearing), she had consulted with many, many married/divorced couples for 29 years. She shared with me that she noticed the pattern in unhappy married couples/divorced couples: lack of lovemaking techniques or men aren't willing to please women. My friends (women) also often vented/expressed their frustrations at me about their lovers/ex-lovers. That's how I know. I learned by listening. These are the hard facts. My aunt also mentioned to me once that she noticed that numbers of complaints from women about men's lack of lovemaking techniques get increased every year. She also had to explain to men again and again in many sessions that men need to please women to make them feel good. She mentioned about one client, a man who was 55 years old, he still don't learn or even understand what women really need (note: he had four ex-wives).

And what is more that I am sure that you already know that men tend to have hard time to adapt, change or learn the techniques, lessons, habits, etc etc... Yes, that is part of marriage learning curve but as long as men or women or both are willing to work out with their lovers. Again, not many men who are willing. I can use the many examples but that will derail this topic completely. And I am a man so I know about these. I finally made a breakthrough and re-educate myself to accept, to adapt, to learn or to change. It is well-known fact that men have difficult to accept the criticisms from women about their techniques, women's needs, etc... It is not right thing to have women to put up with their lovers and their issues for years, years and years. *sigh* Men really need to learn to think of women and their needs beside themselves sometimes... Your another response:

Putting the fault on men?? No. Women, too. It takes two to create a hot steamy sex scene. If a man is a hot stud and did the foreplay excerising while the woman just spreads her legs and did nothing like a toy doll, then their sex activity is dud. Both of the man and woman must do the variety of motion techniques and do the sexual fanasties. They could watch some X-rated movies to learn the "art of skills" and garden-variety tips, not just sit to *drool* at the movies.

~DV

*sigh* I didn't say that all of the fault lies in men. I was saying "mostly" as in "mostly". That's where I got the information from my aunt. There were many times that women tried to do with men and men are the ones who just humped them until ejaculate without any kind of techniques while women don't have the opportunity to experience their orgasms. Many men don't even try or even bother to 'please' their lovers. For women, they are not 'doll' to to feel the pleasure when men just 'humped' them without the techniques. Women need men to perform the certain techniques to please them instead of just 'fuck' them and walk away. Defend men all the you want but I personally know because of women who shared their frustrations with me included aunt (no sir, I am not a mr. know nor claim that I am but I know enough about this situation). I said in my previous post, men's and women's requirements and needs are completely different (just... ask women). Many men haven't pay any attention to women's needs.

Ok, to make it easier for me and you, I strongly suggest you to make a poll and ask women (included strangers if you have enough guts) in your local if they ever have the orgasm as many as men had in every sex they had. Every as in every. You will be surprised by the result. I did when my friend double-dared me and I was surprised how few women had the orgasm with men while men nearly almost always had the ejaculate experience. So make a poll and try it. Good luck if you plan to.

I also learned a lot about these in my sociology class which women shared their preceptions & frustrations with us, classmates. I also recommend you to pick up John Gray books and be prepare to 'shock'. However there is also fault lies in women as well. But women often are willing to please men... heck, men are the easiest creature on this earth to please... Naturally, it requires both to make it workable but unfortunately either of them didn't.

Edit: Speaking of after or before marriage. It is not my decision. It is not your decision. It is their decision. Who are we to make the decision about them? Many women are happy that they did before marriage. Many women are happy that they did after marriage. Dude, it is individual thing. That's a fact.

 

[Cheri]

Dude, you're weak and suffering. Great sex is great, but bad sex is like a peanut better and jelly sandwish!

LOL! I like that line... peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Funny!

 

[Vance]

:topic: 30 minutes is over, I cannot edit my post. So here it is:

#2 is worse in pain for....women. I know by facts because they wish to stay virgin to give to the adorable gentleman and lifelong companionship in the world for his prized reward on the first sex night of their honeymoon.

In many cases, #1 is worser in pain for... women. I know by facts because many of women divorced from 'adorable' gentlemen when they found out that they aren't exactly adorable. Many men changed into 'meanie' or 'cruel' right after marriages or even after first child or more than just one child. In the end, they may or may not lose many valuable things when they divorced... plus they may or may not have to deal with certain courts and they have to deal with child(ren) who will be suffer for a while or long time right after their fathers changed into 'meanie' or 'cruel'. Men can be very good at hiding their real 'faces'. My dad was one of them.

That's a hardest fact and reality. You don't have to believe me, just ask divorcees (mothers/non-mothers) to find out for yourself.

Cheers.

Edit: Of course, I can say the same thing about women as well. I mean, they can be very good at hiding their real 'faces' too.

 

[FeistyChick]

don't listen to him.. you are still young!!! i lost my virginity at a late age too

 

[FeistyChick]

These are the hard facts. My aunt also mentioned to me once that she noticed that numbers of complaints from women about men's lack of lovemaking techniques get increased every year. She also had to explain to men again and again in many sessions that men need to please women to make them feel good. She mentioned about one client, a man who was 55 years old, he still don't learn or even understand what women really need (note: he had four ex-wives).

And what is more that I am sure that you already know that men tend to have hard time to adapt, change or learn the techniques, lessons, habits, etc etc... Yes, that is part of marriage learning curve but as long as men or women or both are willing to work out with their lovers. Again, not many men who are willing. I can use the many examples but that will derail this topic completely. And I am a man so I know about these. I finally made a breakthrough and re-educate myself to accept, to adapt, to learn or to change. It is well-known fact that men have difficult to accept the criticisms from women about their techniques, women's needs, etc... It is not right thing to have women to put up with their lovers and their issues for years, years and years. *sigh* Men really need to learn to think of women and their needs beside themselves sometimes... Your another response:

*sigh* I didn't say that all of the fault lies in men. I was saying "mostly" as in "mostly". That's where I got the information from my aunt. There were many times that women tried to do with men and men are the ones who just humped them until ejaculate without any kind of techniques while women don't have the opportunity to experience their orgasms. Many men don't even try or even bother to 'please' their lovers . For women, they are not 'doll' to to feel the pleasure when men just 'humped' them without the techniques. Women need men to perform the certain techniques to please them instead of just 'fuck' them and walk away.

i absolutely agree with josh!!! it is all PRIDE AND SELFISHNESS IMHO!!! other than being inexperienced! for years after i broke up with my ex fiance.. i was so scared to have sex again cuz i had no self esteem.. cuz he said i SUCKED AT SEX!?!?! but it turned out that he is the ONE THAT SUCKED AT IT!!! but for some reason i always thought it was me... sheesh... it took me a long while to realize it wasn't me afterall cuz my last bf said it wasn't me at all and he had to reassure me so many time and slowly guide me (like if i was to lose my virginity all over again) .. it took me years to gain the "SEXUAL CONFIDENCE" again... that's HOW BAD IT WAS...

now i have A GREAT CONFIDENCE and take a great pleasure in it/enjoy it more than ever!!! uh oh.. did i say that out loud!?

 

[DeafVeggie]

Magatsu, thank you for sharing your views, dude.

Where you live was what you have learned from your local female peers. Where I live was what I have learned from my local female peers. Yes, they vented out their expressions and complains about men. I, too, like you, a good listener. What's their primary complains? Not only about sex. It's lack of general common skills such as how to fix leaky pipes, reading/writing important letters, folly spending money, etc. Even some married females came to me, too. Their complains? Their husbands don't help their elementary kids with homeworks. It was due to their husbands' intellectual level.

Your posting mentioned that gentlemen who have good hiding face masks were bit scary, That put ladies on the "innocent" spot. Trust is always critical, but gentlemen (and ladies, too) gotta to be more honest themselves. After the marriage, it can be real decieving and surprising. I know few of my friends who went through this (married 2, 3, or 4 times) and said had enough with those craps so they ended up living with same sex partners and have been ever happily since then.

The more you know about the person, the better you will know who the person is. Yes, it takes awhile in time and patience to know if you feel in the "comfortable zone" with the person. Yes, it is hard to find the right mate so you have to keep looking until it happens. Same with jobs. It's hard to find the right job so you have to keep looking for one until it happens.

What I perceived from one of your postings: "lot and lot". That's an equivalent of "main. Sorry if I jumped the gun.

Magatsu, you did a good job of posting!

~DV

 

[Cheri]

Magatsu, thank you for sharing your views, dude.

Where you live was what you have learned from your local female peers. Where I live was what I have learned from my local female peers. Yes, they vented out their expressions and complains about men. I, too, like you, a good listener. What's their primary complains? Not only about sex. It's lack of general common skills such as how to fix leaky pipes, reading/writing important letters, folly spending money, etc. Even some married females came to me, too. Their complains? Their husbands don't help their elementary kids with homeworks. It was due to their husbands' intellectual level.

Your posting mentioned that gentlemen who have good hiding face masks were bit scary, That put ladies on the "innocent" spot. Trust is always critical, but gentlemen (and ladies, too) gotta to be more honest themselves. After the marriage, it can be real decieving and surprising. I know few of my friends who went through this (married 2, 3, or 4 times) and said had enough with those craps so they ended up living with same sex partners and have been ever happily since then.

The more you know about the person, the better you will know who the person is. Yes, it takes awhile in time and patience to know if you feel in the "comfortable zone" with the person. Yes, it is hard to find the right mate so you have to keep looking until it happens. Same with jobs. It's hard to find the right job so you have to keep looking for one until it happens.

What I perceived from one of your postings: "lot and lot". That's an equivalent of "main. Sorry if I jumped the gun.

Magatsu, you did a good job of posting!

~DV

Men nor women are no different from each other, let alone to romantic relationships. There are some women out there who are dishonest, playing tag games with men, likewise with men out there doing the same with women. It goes both ways. While doing some soul searching, I believe everyone is meant for someone, just one person and that one person is out there, It might be someone you just missed while walking pass. And about sex, on first date, It depends if you know this person well enough and was friends before for a long time and started going out on a first date, but you have or he have developed feeling through friendship but wait for the right moment to tell each other how they feel, I believe first date in sex is not as bad as you think. Like I said it depends how much you know about this person, how well you can trust this person with all your heart, your feelings your emotion everything.

 

[Gemtun]

I do have regrets about having sex on first dates and having sex before marriage but it helped me learn a lot about myself - my poor self esteem and how to establish healthy boundary lines. I am not beating myself up for my past as it has helped me evolve and understand better but of course it would have been a perfect world had I saved myself for a husband on wedding night. But if I did, how would I know if he is going to be loving and caring partner? I would hate to be totally surprised on wedding night ya know? I guess it is hard with all stakes there. I can only listen to my instincts with future men and not jump into bed right away if there is lust, but see if there is mutual respect/loving bond so that it will continue after having sex for first time. My experiences and from my gfs experiences too showed that the majority of men do run off after having sex and we never hear from them again

 

[Vance]

Magatsu, thank you for sharing your views, dude.

Where you live was what you have learned from your local female peers. Where I live was what I have learned from my local female peers. Yes, they vented out their expressions and complains about men. I, too, like you, a good listener. What's their primary complains? Not only about sex. It's lack of general common skills such as how to fix leaky pipes, reading/writing important letters, folly spending money, etc. Even some married females came to me, too. Their complains? Their husbands don't help their elementary kids with homeworks. It was due to their husbands' intellectual level.

Your posting mentioned that gentlemen who have good hiding face masks were bit scary, That put ladies on the "innocent" spot. Trust is always critical, but gentlemen (and ladies, too) gotta to be more honest themselves. After the marriage, it can be real decieving and surprising. I know few of my friends who went through this (married 2, 3, or 4 times) and said had enough with those craps so they ended up living with same sex partners and have been ever happily since then.

The more you know about the person, the better you will know who the person is. Yes, it takes awhile in time and patience to know if you feel in the "comfortable zone" with the person. Yes, it is hard to find the right mate so you have to keep looking until it happens. Same with jobs. It's hard to find the right job so you have to keep looking for one until it happens.

What I perceived from one of your postings: "lot and lot". That's an equivalent of "main. Sorry if I jumped the gun.

Magatsu, you did a good job of posting!

~DV

I can see that. I mean, my posts does sound like I am trying to make women innocent in this case. I reread my posts and I understand your point. But actually, I am not trying to make them more 'innocent' in this case. Just state the facts as much as you did about this issue though. However, I completely agree with you. To make the marriage workable require both men and women to work together or it will fall apart. Sorry if I sound like a asshole in my posts. You have your own points that I may or may not agree with you, I am sure that is same case for me. btw, your posts rock. I like the way you use your logics in these situation.

FeistyChick, it is common for women to feel that way about themselves right after broke up or divorce. Nas had her shares about her exes. Actually, all of us need to stand back and re-evaluate our actions, our behaviours, etc during in marriage/relationship or brokeup/divorce. You can notice that when you broke up with your boyfriend and your emotions tumbled into 'storm' effort for few days or few weeks, depends on duration of relationship, how bad it is, etc... then you finally can see the 'picture' as of why, how, what and when.

Anyway, sorry everyone about derailing this topic... ignore my posts please and get on this topic ;P

 

[DoVip]

don't listen to him.. you are still young!!! i lost my virginity at a late age too