In lieu of present, $$ Cash $$ please

[Reba]

I believe its up to my friend's son, if he want a car, let him to save up and buy for himself not rely on guests to buy for him!!!

I wonder if the first time he gets a speeding ticket if he will expect you to chip in to pay his fine?




Just kidding!!!

 

[Reba]

No I see opposite. I see good that they let us know what they wish because their wish should be fulfilling.

That's what I don't understand about birthdays. Since when is it expected that people are supposed to subsidize their friends material wishes? If I want something, I don't expect other people (except Hubby) to get it for me. If someone does want to get me something, it's a total surprise, and that's the most fun.

Wedding and new baby registries are fine. That's a convenient way for people to shop. But the registry information is not part of the invitation, that's all.

I consider bad manner, greedy and rude to be present any special occassions with empty handed.

I don't go empty handed either, unless they specifically request no gifts.

Please use your common sense.

Excuse me? If you don't know the answer, please just say so.

But you said different at other thread.

Link please.

Put "No gift", hint without money mention or enclosed registry card in general way is different because they only let us know what they wants.

If they put "no gift" it means what they want is "no gift"; that means no package, no money, no gift certificate, period. If they put "no gift" they better expect to get no gifts.

 

[Reba]

...My hubby's big wishes is Mountain bike. Very expensive bike. We put "my birthday wishes is "Mountain bike" on the 50th birthday invitation card....

I just can't imagine anyone doing that. :jaw:
When Hubby and I had our 50th birthdays, we paid for everything ourselves. Our guests were our GUESTS. They just brought funny "over-the-hill" cards.

Hubby took me out for a nice restaurant lunch at the beach. When we got home, it was a surprise that our friends were there. Hubby had ordered a special cake, and my daughter decorated, and brought snacks and drinks.

For Hubby's birthday, I set up a surprise bowling party. He didn't suspect because we go bowling every week. That time, our friends were waiting there, and they had a table set up with pizza, drinks, and special birthday cake. I paid for it all, and my daughter arrived early to supervise the setting up. I paid for the cake, pizza, decorations. and bowling for everyone.

Nothing fancy or expensive. No gifts. Just fun with friends and family.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

That's what I don't understand about birthdays. Since when is it expected that people are supposed to subsidize their friends material wishes? If I want something, I don't expect other people (except Hubby) to get it for me. If someone does want to get me something, it's a total surprise, and that's the most fun.

Not birthday every years but once every 10 years "0th" (30th, 40th, 50th to 100th).

Small party every year, no gift necassary. .Just invited close friends to have fun... but small gift is still there to surprise host... (homemade cake, bottle wine, bar chocolate, salad, book etc).

Wedding and new baby registries are fine. That's a convenient way for people to shop. But the registry information is not part of the invitation, that's all.

Baby registries are not common here in Germany but weddings.

I don't go empty handed either, unless they specifically request no gifts.

Why you said here for a first time, not other thread?

Link please.

Should I add many links of your posts to add here from lock thread to make off topic posts here?... Due respect, I would not do that to thread creator here...

If they put "no gift" it means what they want is "no gift"; that means no package, no money, no gift certificate, period. If they put "no gift" they better expect to get no gifts.

Oh I see...
We Europeans know the difference between small party and big special ocassions... If there´re small party... small gift.. like bottle wine, bar chocolate, foods, or homemade cake...etc... if big occassion, then we enclosed money in card.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I just can't imagine anyone doing that. :jaw:
When Hubby and I had our 50th birthdays, we paid for everything ourselves. Our guests were our GUESTS. They just brought funny "over-the-hill" cards.

Of course we do... This link to fresh your memory.
http://www.alldeaf.com/498370-post26.html

Hubby took me out for a nice restaurant lunch at the beach. When we got home, it was a surprise that our friends were there. Hubby had ordered a special cake, and my daughter decorated, and brought snacks and drinks.

For Hubby's birthday, I set up a surprise bowling party. He didn't suspect because we go bowling every week. That time, our friends were waiting there, and they had a table set up with pizza, drinks, and special birthday cake. I paid for it all, and my daughter arrived early to supervise the setting up. I paid for the cake, pizza, decorations. and bowling for everyone.

Oh Yes, it´s same at small parties here as well... we friends make arrangement to surprise our friends at early in the morning. We drove with basket of breakfast bunch... and knock their house at 6.30 am.... and Happy Birthday to them... It´s not just it but in many different examples in every years like this... My hubby took me to town and let my friends to decorate in my house... etc. etc.

Nothing fancy or expensive. No gifts. Just fun with friends and family.

Big occassion like 0th birhtdays, anniversaries, wedding, etc. is a different story. We have fun at small parties or big occassions, no matter what...

 

[Reba]

Why you said here for a first time, not other thread?

Huh? How many times do I have to repeat myself?

Should I add many links of your posts to add here from lock thread to make off topic posts here?... Due respect, I would not do that to thread creator here...

If you can't prove that I posted something, then I would appreciate you not making such statements.

We Europeans know the difference between small party and big special ocassions...

Well, duh! Americans know the difference, too! :roll:

 

[shel90]

For borthday parties big or small, I have never seen anyone put down what they want on their invitations nor I would never do that cuz I don't believe in expecting gifts or cash from my friends for my birthdays. Just their presence is a gift itself.

Apparently there r many different viepoints here or some misunderstandings going on?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Huh? How many times do I have to repeat myself?

If you can't prove that I posted something, then I would appreciate you not making such statements.

I´m sorry if you do not accept my view on your posts at other threads because it´s truth. I would love to provide the links here but I can´t. I would suggest you to re-read your own posts in other thread then you will understand. I do not like that someone twist and confuse us between here and other thread that´s why I correct your word here where you posted different from other thread... It´s me.

Well, duh! Americans know the difference, too! :roll:

Where have I say anything against Americans in their posts and in real life? I haven´t say anything negative about Americans then? I already stated in my previous posts here and there that I know many Americans who have the same view as Europeans how to treat host/bride & groom in manner way, don´t I ? But you denied that Americans have the same view as Europeans how to treat host in manner way at other thread. You refused to see that some ADers have the same view as Europeans as well.

 

[Reba]

I´m sorry if you do not accept my view on your posts at other threads because it´s truth. I would love to provide the links here but I can´t. I would suggest you to re-read your own posts in other thread then you will understand. I do not like that someone twist and confuse us between here and other thread that´s why I correct your word here where you posted different from other thread... It´s me.

I don't appreciate being misquoted either. That's why I prefer you not make statements about something I supposedly said or didn't say, unless you can support it with a link or quotation. I think that's only fair.

I barely have time to read new posts. I certainly don't have the time to read thru my own old posts. If you want to link one or two specific ones, fine, I'll read those. Otherwise, I'm not scrolling thru pages of old posts.

Where have I say anything against Americans in their posts and in real life?

Huh? I didn't accuse you of that.

But you denied that Americans have the same view as Europeans how to treat host in manner way at other thread.

No, I didn't deny that some Americans and Europeans view things the same way.

 

[Opal]

I wonder if the first time he gets a speeding ticket if he will expect you to chip in to pay his fine?




Just kidding!!!

Ha Ha, thank you for the laugh, - good one!!

If he ever asked me, I would refused saying "It is time for you to act like a man, face your own responsible!!!!"

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I don't appreciate being misquoted either. That's why I prefer you not make statements about something I supposedly said or didn't say, unless you can support it with a link or quotation. I think that's only fair.

I barely have time to read new posts. I certainly don't have the time to read thru my own old posts. If you want to link one or two specific ones, fine, I'll read those. Otherwise, I'm not scrolling thru pages of old posts.

Okay, I hope we won´t make off topic posts here after I show you few examples. It´s time for me go bedtime (German time: 22.58 pm) and will try to pick few examples of many posts tomorrow to add here...

 

[Reba]

Okay, I hope we won´t make off topic posts here after I show you few examples. It´s time for me go bedtime (German time: 22.58 pm) and will try to pick few examples of many posts tomorrow to add here...

Sigh...You're right, this is getting way too much off topic. This thread isn't about you or me.

I think I've said enough for this thread. Time for a break.

 

[Cheri]

For borthday parties big or small, I have never seen anyone put down what they want on their invitations nor I would never do that cuz I don't believe in expecting gifts or cash from my friends for my birthdays. Just their presence is a gift itself.

Apparently there r many different viepoints here or some misunderstandings going on?

I've seen birthdays invitations where parents would put down their children's wishes, much as what's their favorite theme they like, much as Cinderella, Pokemon, Blue Clues, Barney etc. so that give guests ideas of child's favorite cartoons or Disney characters, and make shopping easier. I really like registries, I don't even live with any of them to know what they have or don't have, that's why I rather to have registries to be enclosed in invitations, It does make it stress free for me and its a lot easier knowing where to go. But, if the items are too expensive for me to afford, I would give them a gift card of the store they registry at.

The point of a registry in my opinion is to provide suggestions for those who don't know what to buy, It is a choice and only you can make that choice. I know some people think that a registry is rude, or any suggestion on an invitation is rude, but you can ignored it, and do what you want to do. It's simple as it is. I know there are plenty of people who are very old-fashioned, still think it's tacky to put any suggestion on invitations. But, I'm not even old-fashion, so it doesn't even bother me at all. I've been told many times that my gifts were the best that's because I've always shop at someone's registry or shop at their wish goals, I make it happen for them.

 

[shel90]

I've seen birthdays invitations where parents would put down their children's wishes, much as what's their favorite theme they like, much as Cinderella, Pokemon, Blue Clues, Barney etc. so that give guests ideas of child's favorite cartoons or Disney characters, and make shopping easier. I really like registries, I don't even live with any of them to know what they have or don't have, that's why I rather to have registries to be enclosed in invitations, It does make it stress free for me and its a lot easier knowing where to go. But, if the items are too expensive for me to afford, I would give them a gift card of the store they registry at.

The point of a registry in my opinion is to provide suggestions for those who don't know what to buy, It is a choice and only you can make that choice. I know some people think that a registry is rude, or any suggestion on an invitation is rude, but you can ignored it, and do what you want to do. It's simple as it is. I know there are plenty of people who are very old-fashioned, still think it's tacky to put any suggestion on invitations. But, I'm not even old-fashion, so it doesn't even bother me at all. I've been told many times that my gifts were the best that's because I've always shop at someone's registry or shop at their wish goals, I make it happen for them.

I am referring to adults who have birthday parties and they putting that down on the invitations to their own birthday parties.

Children are a different matter and what u said about gift registry for children bday parties, I agree with u 100%.

I dont think a registry is rude at all but to write on an inviation "In lieu of a gift, cash please" for adult bday parties, weddings, or baby showers? I just asked my husband about that and he gave me "Are u kidding me??" look. He said if anyone did that on an invitation sent to us (for adults, mind u) he wouldnt go at all.


Two weeks ago, we got invited to a bat mitzavah and the invitation said nothing about cash or gifts but I did ask the birthday girl's parents what kind of gift to get her and she told me either cash or gift certificate is fine so I got what she suggested. Cash.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

For borthday parties big or small, I have never seen anyone put down what they want on their invitations nor I would never do that cuz I don't believe in expecting gifts or cash from my friends for my birthdays. Just their presence is a gift itself.

Apparently there r many different viepoints here or some misunderstandings going on?

Well, the gifts for small party is not really necassary. We know that but we were raised to know our manner to give them small gifts like homemade foods, example jams with pretty decoration, cake, bottle wine or whatever etc. They add "No gift" on invitation per emails. We know and can read "No gift" to attend their small party but we CANNOT go their party with empty handed... It's me. Oh yes, fewer went there with empty handed... It doesn't bother us really because it's only small party... Each person is different.

For big occassions, we don't like to receive invitation per email but card by post. They put "No gift" or whatever then we know automatic that they MUST have something from us is money. What Cheri did is the same way as Europeans to enclose registry card in invitation card, also write a nice piece of note to let us know what they wish in hint way WITHOUT mention money.

About my children, they received an invitation card without mention anything from their friends. I went to Toy shop or CD/music shop to get gift card and add their favorite candies. We continue do that for our boys until they are 10years old then they do something themselves to attend their friend's birthday party. They know their friends' taste... They bought out of their pocket money to gift their friends or gift money or whatever themselves... Danny went his friend's birthday party at 2 weeks ago. He went to CD shop to get a gift card for his friend himself. Danny saw "No gift" on invitation card or mouth per phone to attend small parties... and asked me for advice what/how to give their friends because he don't feel like to go with empty handed.

We were raised to hand like this in polite and manner way... This is so.


Yes I'm agree with you, Cheri... I don't see anything wrong to get guests ideas what we wish to save stress and hassle. This is a first time, I see is here in the forum that people consider it rude...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I dont think a registry is rude at all but to write on an inviation "In lieu of a gift, cash please" for adult bday parties, weddings, or baby showers?

I would not put "gift please....cash please"... It's not right word to add like this.

But to me, it make no deal when person write down in invitation card in different and manner way... It really doesn't bother me because I know each person is different... But I would not go if they make me to buy coffee set or put exact amount...in invitation card.

We don't have baby showers here in Germany... We beleive in to not buy baby clothes but underwear and very few baby clothes before baby is born - no baby decoration etc. It's bad luck to decorate baby things, buy pram, etc before baby born... Until baby is 3 months old then decorate a room for him. We ordered pram and leave pram at shop until baby is born. Anyway My hubby only send an annoncement cards to let our friends and relatives know we have baby boy, how many weight etc.... (No invitation but just annoncement card)... It's up to them to visit to see me at hospitail or home to congrats us... We have a lot of baby clothes, toys, flowers, gift cards etc from them... My British friends came to visit us to see baby and stayed with us for 2 weeks. It got me idea and want to introduce my British friends to German friends so we send "thank you" card and invited friends to my house for coffee and homemade cakes and then follow evening snack... They brought more gifts for baby.... I do not expect them to get more gifts for baby. This is so... My British friends like what they saw and copied us...

Two weeks ago, we got invited to a bat mitzavah and the invitation said nothing about cash or gifts but I did ask the birthday girl's parents what kind of gift to get her and she told me either cash or gift certificate is fine so I got what she suggested. Cash.

This is okay

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Oh yes, I forget to add my post here.

American, I met at party last Saturday told me that he was surprised that we (Germans) got invitation per emails to attend small parties but in America, no... Birthday partys are welcome to anyone - they do not need to write an invitation card or email... Just welcome... What if 50 or more guests go in small house...?

The pictures of parties reminds me of other DM forum that Americans messed host's house with drunk and parties... chair damaged, etc. full crowd in house.... immaturity parties... DMers shared their experiences... I was like :jaw: I can see that it's not first time... It remind me of British way as well. I would not do that... Here in Germany, no... We rather to pick close friends to celebrate small parties or surprised parties (buy foods for breakfast bunch then surprise friend's house and celebrate at breakfast...) or afternoon coffee or evening snack...etc...

 

[Sunshinelady]

Hey everyone,

yesterday i got an Email from my friends. they will invite me on 6th April. Of course we will visit to them.
What they want?... MONEY
Please read it
"Ich wolltet uns bestimmt fragen was wir uns wünschen.
Wir würden uns freuen wenn wir uns das Geld geschenk bekommen würden"
"I am sure, if you all ask us what we want?
We will be glad, if you all gift the money for us"
Geld = money

that i will accept, what they want? True, that is fine for money. They said, the oney for our vacation!!.. cool!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Sunshinelady, it's really cool and beautiful wedding invitation card... Your friends find good word to write in beautiful way...

They know automatic that you all ask them what they wish... Of course!!!! Their wish is go to honeymoon... You are good and understanding person who is happy to fulfull your friend's wish... You're cool person in my book...

I will do with my artwork for Danny's confirmation this week or next week...and print the cards and send anyone...

 

[Sunshinelady]

Sunshinelady, it's really cool and beautiful invitation card...

They know automatic that you all ask them what they wish... Of course!!!! Their wish is go to honeymoon... You are good and understanding person who is happy to fulfull your friend's wish... You're cool person in my book...

I will do with my artwork for Danny's confirmation this week or next week...and print the cards and send anyone...

yep, if i dont want accept for them.. it would be not good work for friends. Important accept!!
Thank you!!!
I know, you love artwork.