In lieu of present, $$ Cash $$ please

[Reba]

Guests should bring gifts; that's very nice.

You answered this different as other thread when I repeat the same word there and here: "I consider bad manner, greedy & rude to be present any special occassions with empty handed". You answered in different posts there:

That's more important than any material things.
"exchange for food, drink, and entertainment, then they should sell tickets and call the attendees "customers" instead of "guests".
"But that's voluntary, not required, not an exchange for food and drink. Or is there someone at the wedding keeping a tally of gift values for each guest to judge how much they're allowed to eat? Or do guests call up the *host* ahead of time, and ask how much the food costs so they can buy a gift that matches the cost?"
"In America, when a guest shows up empty handed, the host ignores that, and just continues on with a pleasant dinner and visit. That's good manners"

and going on....

Your posts there sounds that you see nothing wrong to attend big occassion with empty handed and consider it's good manner but you said here different...

If that's what you think I said, then you misunderstood.

I never said that guests should NOT bring gifts, or that it's even normal for guests to show up empty handed. I simply said that it's not a requirement for guests to bring gifts, and the host should not lay a guilt trip on guests who do show up empty handed. I also said that the value of the gift shouldn't depend on how much the food and drink cost at a party or reception.

I was hoping we could drop this track in this thread because I thought I had made my point clearly, several times, and we were getting off point. I guess not. :roll:

1. Guests enjoy bringing presents, if they can.

2. Hosts or honorees should not suggest, hint, or request gifts or money.

3. Guests can ask the honoree or the honoree's family what they would like, or where they are registered.

4. The value of the gift and the value of the refreshments are irrelevant.

5. If the guest doesn't bring a gift, the host doesn't complain, criticize, or raise an eyebrow.

6. Good manners are never old-fashioned, and rudeness is never modern.

7. Good manners apply to the host, the honoree, and the guests.

8. Customs are different in each country. People are expected to follow the customs of that location.

Finis

 

[Reba]

My Dream wish is to have a Digitial Camera, Ah, I got a better idea to have a party, here is it.
******************************************************


INVITATION EMAIL LETTER

Where: 1 Smith St, Brown City,
Time: just turn up and bring your friends, the more people coming the more money I will get.
Date : 1st April 2007

Let you know I want $$ Money $$ for my dream wish list Camera.

Thank you
Opal

You might have started a new "April Fools Day" party tradition.

 

[Reba]

My hearing co-worker had her 40th birthday. Of course she wrote her wishes on the invitation card to buy an oven. Her in-laws's 50th wedding anniversary, they put hint on their invitation... Of course they gave them money with flowers, basket of foods.... They collect money to fulfill their wishes is go to cruise to Eypt, Isreal, Africa... A lot of people made hint in sense of humor way on invitation card to make guest laugh... etc...

Are you saying that the requests for an oven and cruise were just jokes, like Opal's "invitation"? They didn't really expect to get money for those gifts, right?

 

[Reba]

Sorry off topic, no one is allow to visit New Mother and newborn baby in Hospital in America, is it correct?

It depends on the hospital but I know they are all very limited now.

Sunday night, a friend of mine told me about the rules when she had her baby. The hospital puts a special electronic sensor wrist band on the baby. If the baby is taken out of the maternity ward with the band on, an alarm goes off. If the band is cut off with scissors, an alarm goes off.

The parents are given two wrist bands for their family. One for the mom, and one for a visitor. Usually the visitor is the dad. If the dad is away (like in the military), the mom can give it to a grandparent or close friend. That's it. Those are the only visitors.

In the baby nursery room, people used to be able to look thru the windows at all the babies. Now, all the window shades at the nurseries are kept closed. No one is allowed to look at other babies.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Most Americans don't have that superstition. They like to decorate the room as soon as possible. Their friends and family want to have baby showers for them, and give them lots of gifts so everything will be ready for the baby.


That's correct here, too. Parents never give the baby showers. Friends and other relatives are supposed to plan the showers. It is considered bad manners for the mom-to-be to request a shower.

Interesting, we do not expect anything from my friends and relatives to have everything for my baby... It's us parents who wish baby, not anyone.

Of course we got support from my hubby's parents with big things like pram etc. My mother-in-law gave us baby basket cot where she, my hubby & his brother slept as they were babies.

Most friends gave us gift cards, clothes and toys to congrats us after get annonncement card from us.

Unfortunately, here in America hospital privacy and security is getting very strict, and friends aren't allowed to visit at the hospital. They have to wait until mom and baby arrive home.

*nodding agreement sadly* Its' lovely surprise to receive surprise visitors at hosptial and home...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

No way! :jaw:

Accord Sunshinelady's Invitation card... It's lovely poem but it's hard and complication word to translate into English with poem. Really lovely poem, I tell you. A lot of Germans wrote like this.

then they know that we would ask them what they wish. They are be glad if we all are happy to give the money as gift to them.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Are you saying that the requests for an oven and cruise were just jokes, like Opal's "invitation"? They didn't really expect to get money for those gifts, right?

Like what I said in previous post... lovely Poem... Wedding Poem...

I found the example...

Wedding Poem For Money Tree Gift
Weddings - Wedding Poem For Money Tree Gift

 

[Reba]

Like what I said in previous post... lovely Poem... Wedding Poem...

I found the example...

Wedding Poem For Money Tree Gift
Weddings - Wedding Poem For Money Tree Gift

Just because something rhymes doesn't make the content appropriate. :roll:

 

[Reba]

Like what I said in previous post... lovely Poem... Wedding Poem...

I found the example...

Wedding Poem For Money Tree Gift
Weddings - Wedding Poem For Money Tree Gift

That doesn't answer this question:

"Are you saying that the requests for an oven and cruise were just jokes, like Opal's "invitation"? They didn't really expect to get money for those gifts, right?"

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I've never heard of that. Every part that I've attended was by invitation. That's sounds like something teenagers do when their parents are out of town.

I learn and have seen the pictures from other forum several years ago. The members there are not teenagers...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

That doesn't answer this question:

"Are you saying that the requests for an oven and cruise were just jokes, like Opal's "invitation"? They didn't really expect to get money for those gifts, right?"

I do not understand your question on this to compare Opal's immaturity invitation card... (accord Opal, she faked it). We know what they are talking about when we received invitation cards from them. A lot of hosts wrote peom to get our attention... I see no problem to fulfill hosts' wishes because I love their lovely description on invitation card...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Just because something rhymes doesn't make the content appropriate. :roll:

wow

 

[Liebling:-)))]

If that's what you think I said, then you misunderstood.

I never said that guests should NOT bring gifts, or that it's even normal for guests to show up empty handed. I simply said that it's not a requirement for guests to bring gifts, and the host should not lay a guilt trip on guests who do show up empty handed. I also said that the value of the gift shouldn't depend on how much the food and drink cost at a party or reception.

I was hoping we could drop this track in this thread because I thought I had made my point clearly, several times, and we were getting off point. I guess not. :roll:

I would answer your post but I would not do that... Better leave it.

Here is answer on your list.

1. Guests enjoy bringing presents, if they can.

Yes, it's lovely thoughtful of them.

2. Hosts or honorees should not suggest, hint, or request gifts or money

.

Not compare request with "let you know" because this is a difference.

I see no problem for hosts to let guests know what they wish.

3. Guests can ask the honoree or the honoree's family what they would like, or where they are registered.

Sure, no problem.

4. The value of the gift and the value of the refreshments are irrelevant.

I really has no idea why you said this... Nobody thought about this until you said this for a first time here.

5. If the guest doesn't bring a gift, the host doesn't complain, criticize, or raise an eyebrow.

For your information, hosts are an adult and know their manner. They don't public complaint, criticize, or whatever to guests front of anyone. It sound that you had a bad experience to withness hosts act like this?

6. Good manners are never old-fashioned, and rudeness is never modern.

For your information, we are an adult and know our manners.

7. Good manners apply to the host, the honoree, and the guests.

You beleive that hosts show their respect on the guests but I see opposite... Sure, hosts know their manner how to treat guests but it's big important for the guests show their respect and honor hosts' during big occassion and fulfull host's special day.

8. Customs are different in each country. People are expected to follow the customs of that location.

We don't have to follow the customs but follow our feeling and heart. This is so. Everyone have heart and feeling.

 

[Reba]

I do not understand your question....

You said, "A lot of people made hint in sense of humor way on invitation card to make guest laugh... etc..."

Does that mean that their hints for an oven and cruise were just jokes?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

You said, "A lot of people made hint in sense of humor way on invitation card to make guest laugh... etc..."

Does that mean that their hints for an oven and cruise were just jokes?

this is not joke but in sense of humor way...


No word mention over oven and cruise on invitation card... Description something in sense of humor way like what I answer a creator of other thread how to put on invitation card in first page of creator's thread. Something peom... to cheer us up or make us smile or laugh... something make good feeling... because we have feeling. Please read the example of my post #17 at other thread.

I already provided you this link over wedding peom in my previous post... This is so...

Understand?

 

[Reba]

Here is answer on your list.

My "list" was just a clarification of my points. You didn't need to "answer" them but that's OK.

I really has no idea why you said this... Nobody thought about this until you said this for a first time here.

Actually, someone did post that equation, and mine was a response to that. Someone did say that they expected a gift to compensate the expense of the food and drink. Maybe you missed the original post. It doesn't really matter. I'm just making my point.

For your information, hosts are an adult and know their manner. They don't public complaint, criticize, or whatever to guests front of anyone. It sound that you had a bad experience to withness hosts act like this?

No, I've never had a bad experience. I'm not the one who originally brought it up.

For your information, we are an adult and know our manners.

I don't understand your defensiveness. I didn't say anything about you or your manners. I'm just making a general statement that manners and rudeness have nothing to do with what year this is.

...it's big important for the guests show their respect and honor hosts' during big occassion and fulfull host's special day.

Or else . . . !

We don't have to follow the customs but follow our feeling and heart. This is so. Everyone have heart and feeling.

The best way to show heart and feeling is to show respect for the customs of the people and place that you visit or live.

I think one point that I've left out is this:

Printing "wishes" on invitations is rude. HOWEVER, if I receive an invitation with a "wish" included, I never complain about it to the person who sent it. If the person is important to me, I will attend. (If someone is just mailing invitations to everyone person they ever met, forget it.) If I can fulfill the wish, fine. If I can't, I'll do the best I can, and show up at the celebration with a good attitude.

 

[Reba]

this is not joke but in sense of humor way...

No word mention over oven and cruise on invitation card... Description something in sense of humor way like what I answer a creator of other thread how to put on invitation card in first page of creator's thread. Something peom... to cheer us up or make us smile or laugh... something make good feeling... because we have feeling. Please read the example of my post #17 at other thread.

I already provided you this link over wedding peom in my previous post... This is so...

Understand?

I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. It's hard to believe that anyone would think it was humorous to want money for an oven, or cruise, or anything for that matter. I was hoping that you meant they were just kidding.

Oh, well.

 

[Kuifje75]

I doubt....

This German wedding invitation card makes no mention of any gift preferences, but says "invites you heartly to make a beautiful and unforgettable evening with us" and "we would be thrilled to have you on our page for this day."

Another German wedding invitation card making no mention of any gift preferences. All it says on the bottom "The reception will take place on Sept 1st, 1999..."

This wedding invitation makes a mention of gift preference:
"Our household is complete, therefore it would be nice,
when you think of our future by feeding our piggy bank."

This German invitation makes no mention of gift preferences.

Another German wedding invitation without gift request.

I wonder if Germans have different point of views than what was mentioned here. I asked a German friend of mine, and she is profoundly Deaf, 40 years old and she said she thought it was "taktlos" (tactless) to mention gift preferences on invitations.

 

[Kuifje75]

This birthday invitation mentions no gift preferences. Only that she would be very happy if you came.

An invitation to come over to watch a football game during Timo's 18th birthday party. Again, it makes no mention of gift preferences.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Kuiji75,

*speechless and shake my head in disappointment*

wow, you jumped conlusion to negative my post and claim that you doubt my post without check both sides? This cards, you posted is for young couple who don´t have everything in their household.

Read this link - They wrote wedding peom about money gift on the invitation card and also honeymoon mention in some links as well. A lot of Germans like to write wedding peom on the invitation cards if they wish money gift to fulfill their dream wish.

Einladungskarten Hochzeit: Mustertexte Geldgeschenke zur Hochzeit

Einladungskarten Hochzeit: Geldgeschenke auf der Hochzeitseinladung

Google-Ergebnis für http://www.rhein-neckar-hochzeit.de/img/einladung.jpg

quelle.de

http://www.marschnig.de/artikel/son...und_gedichte_fuer_die_hochzeitseinladung.html

Text für Hochzeitseinladung...... | Feste: Tischdekoration und Einladungen Forum | CHEFKOCH.DE

Ratgeber Geschenke Geldgeschenke

They do with crafts to make wedding money gift.
http://www.preisvergleich.org/pimages/Buch-Geldgeschenke-zur-Hochzeit_275__35869_20.jpg

It´s hard to beleive that your German friend said this because there´re common here in Germany ask for money gift and also wedding games in receiption to get bridal´s shoe to get guests to put coins until coins full in bride´s shoe accord German custom. We donate money in receiption as well... It doesn´t bother us really. I´m total surprised that your friend didn´t know about this... It look like that she never attend any weddings in her life or what...

Anyway about children invitation cards, you posted... Where have I said in my previous post about money wish on children´s inviation card? Nope, I never say one word about money wish on children´s inviation card but wedding invitation. I only say that we went to toy shop or CD/music shop to get gift card.