In lieu of present, $$ Cash $$ please

[Angel]

Gosh cant believe with this thread it another thread repeating but different topic over whether a person should give money or not when requested to do so. Bottom line for me is i really dont care either way.

:nodding as agreement:

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Gosh cant believe with this thread it another thread repeating but different topic over whether a person should give money or not when requested to do so. Bottom line for me is i really dont care either way.

Yeah, me either... I vote "I don't care"...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

:nodding as agreement:

Don't worry.. .Stay what you are... we support you...

 

[Angel]

Don't worry.. .Stay what you are... we support you...

 

[Sunshinelady]

Yeah, me either... I vote "I don't care"...

Heyloooo Liebling,
yes same here I vote "I don´t care"...

I am reading here about gift the Money- i agree with you. you live in Germany, me too. we did know.
when my friend did warn to us, what he/ her want gift for Birthday, pls only Money.
I would be accept, what are they saying? It will be fine. last month my friend has birthday. she did warn to us, pls only money, cuz she want buy one HUGE Plasma TV. I gave her 40EURO and Wine. Plenty friends of her gave more the money and Flower too. I think, she have together 700EURO.
If If If i did gift other thing Book for her, she would be little disappoint. I know...what she have what they want? I need listen to her, what they want? she will be happy, if i gave the money to her.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Heyloooo Liebling,
yes same here I vote "I don´t care"...

I am reading here about gift the Money- i agree with you. you live in Germany, me too. we did know.
when my friend did warn to us, what he/ her want gift for Birthday, pls only Money.
I would be accept, what are they saying? It will be fine. last month my friend has birthday. she did warn to us, pls only money, cuz she want buy one HUGE Plasma TV. I gave her 40EURO and Wine. Plenty friends of her gave more the money and Flower too. I think, she have together 700EURO.
If If If i did gift other thing Book for her, she would be little disappoint. I know...what she have what they want? I need listen to her, what they want? she will be happy, if i gave the money to her.

AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[VamPyroX]

I would think it was rude. It's like I said in the other thread, I'd feel that my gift was worthless because there's no sentimental value.

I rather be playing my Xbox game and thinking, "Wow, I'm glad my friend got me this game for my birthday." or looking at my clock on the wall and thinking, "It's 4:20 pm. Oh yeah, it's nice of my mom to be 'telling' me what time it is." Heh!

However, I could be driving my car and be thinking... "This car is awesome! Who gave me money? Let's see... hmm... my uncle... my aunt... my other aunt... my friend Bob... my friend Amy... my friend Adam... my friend Dave... my friend Amanda... my mom... my grandfather... my umm... let's see... umm... this is tough!" Oh wait, do we really think like that? No!

Friends and family are often proud to see their gifts being used repeatedly. A grandfather sees his grandson walking around wearing a watch that he gave him for his birthday. A uncle sees his nephew playing the Xbox game that he gave him for Christmas. An aunt sees her niece playing with the Barbie dolls that she got her for Christmas. They all don't have to walk in someone else's house wondering... "Hmm... I wonder where my $20 (or $100) went to?"

 

[VamPyroX]

I have a question to ask..

I wonder if someone wants guests to donate their money to a charity, would you consider it rude?

I recalled that I read some magazine...Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones asked guests to donate the money to their first son's charity (of his choice) instead of gifts.

That's what I wonder about.

Hmm... if it was optional, then I'd probably be fine with it. Of course, with celebrities... it is to be expected.

 

[Sunshinelady]

Gosh cant believe with this thread it another thread repeating but different topic over whether a person should give money or not when requested to do so. Bottom line for me is i really dont care either way.

yep, same here!... surprised me!!!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I am reading here about gift the Money- i agree with you. you live in Germany, me too. we did know.

Yeah, I know you are here to read my posts and agree with me because we live here in Germany.

when my friend did warn to us, what he/ her want gift for Birthday, pls only Money.

Yeah, I see no problem when my friend let us know what they wish. A lot of people prefer money over gifts.

I would be accept, what are they saying? It will be fine. last month my friend has birthday. she did warn to us, pls only money, cuz she want buy one HUGE Plasma TV. I gave her 40EURO and Wine. Plenty friends of her gave more the money and Flower too. I think, she have together 700EURO.

Yes, I'm the same as you as well... A lot Germans do like that when they celebrate their "0"th birthdays, anniversaries, wedding, etc. Most Germans enclosed money between EUR 30 and EUR 100 in birthday card with wine, flowers or whatever... Depend how much they can afford to put money in card...It's up to them...

I see nothing wrong when my friend wish one big item then he/she collect money together from guests to buy a big one (example - LCD, digial camera, bike, holiday etc.). My hubby is very happy that his wish is being fulfilled... His dream wish is Mountainbike...It's very expensive bike. Thanks to collect money together to fulfill his dream wish.

If If If i did gift other thing Book for her, she would be little disappoint. I know...what she have what they want? I need listen to her, what they want? she will be happy, if i gave the money to her.

Agreed!!! It's really shame to see the gifts, I received from guests to leave at basement, attic, put them in ebay, or give away etc... What a waste! It's really sad that guests waste their money to give me the gift, I never ask for it. That's why a lot of Germans alway ask them what they wish first before do something or read invitation card.

 

[Animal_Lover]

I vote dont care..

 

[lumbingmi]

WTF? I never heard anything like this. If people can't afford to give gifts then dont invite them again next time. Jeebus. Deaf people can be sometime being sneaky and shrewed.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

WTF? I never heard anything like this. If people can't afford to give gifts then dont invite them again next time. Jeebus. Deaf people can be sometime being sneaky and shrewed.

Not just deaf but hearing as well.

I really don´t understand why the deaf people judge deaf people for their manners... Then go to learn hearing world that you will know that hearing people also have bad manner, too... (Accord Reba´s first post - she is a hearing lady.. ) We know and judge ourselves what kind of manners they have...

 

[Mistyrose]

I noticed myself its always happen in deaf community's bad etiquette that I received an invitation to my deaf friend's son's 21st birthday party, and the invitation said in lieu of the present, please donate money toward to his car!

Again, last year, I received similar invitation to my deaf friend's 40th birthday party, she mention in writing on invitation letter to say no present because she want to collect money to buy a Friendship ring jewellery from everyone who attend her party.

I was bit surprised to see they demand something, since gifts is a volunteering, but I was told its very rude and cheeky of deaf people to ask for money.

Do you think its rude or its is perfectly normal to you?

Oh wow! for the parents to say..donate money to pay for the kid's
new car is like, "you all peons to help pay for the car so we dont
have to make payments on his car"...geeeez! what a big time
TACKINESS! thats my opinion!!

 

[shel90]

I think it is rude to put down "money instead of gifts" on an invitation but if people ask the person what they want and they say money, then it is a different story.

Like Reba and lucia stated, by putting it on the invitation, it is like saying "gimme gimme!"

As for putting "In lieu of a gift, pls donate to my favorite charity" that is not rude and it shows that the person the party is in honor for is not thinking of him or herself.

The point of parties or celebrations are to spend time with loved ones.

As that credit card commercial stated

Airfare-$600

Rental car-$400

Meeting new in-laws-priceless

Of course many people will get a gift but it SHOULDNT be expected.

 

[diehardbiker]

Maybe it would be good idea to enclose the birthday card with Monopoly money in it, that way it sends message that it is rude to demanding the money.

 

[diehardbiker]

We got son, and we agreed NOT to endorse, or give anything to our son to get his own car! He has to pay himself way to get his own car! Know why? Having a car is a step to major responsibility. This needs to be earned in order for these teenager, or newly driver to become a "Responsible driver". Gifts is NOT considered as "earned", therefore should NEVER treat as a way to get a vehicle!

 

[Cheri]

shel90,

I respectfully disagree with you there, What do you say about someone who has just about everything in their home, and knowing that you don't even know what to get them, would you want them to let you know what they want? Or would you just go ahead and buy whatever you think they would like to have? It the same way with me, my family have just about everything in their home, It makes Christmas and birthdays harder for me to shop for them, because honestly I don't know what to buy them when they have everything in their home. When I asked them for a list for things they would like, they wouldn't know. So, I would just give them a gift card, or cash.

It would save me a phone call trip or an email trip if they told me on their own in an invitation what they want, like something for their home, in what color, in what room? Or cash forward their dreams, or a gift card from their favorite store, It'll be a big help if that information was enclosed in an invitation.

I guess everyone view it differently, but with me I don't even consider it rude, I think it'll be a great help in finding the right gift for that person, It'll make my shopping much more easier and pleasure.

My family or friends does not even say a specify amount in cash or gift card. if they did, Yes, I would consider that rude, because not everyone is rich like them.

It's not about being greedy, it's about helping finding the right gift, making shopping easier and pleasure.

If you don't want to buy them a gift, and just go there celebrate their special day, but don't be surprised if they do the same to you.

 

[Mistyrose]

Maybe it would be good idea to enclose the birthday card with Monopoly money in it, that way it sends message that it is rude to demanding the money.

Omg..that is soo freakin funny! i love that idea!!

 

[shel90]

shel90,

I respectfully disagree with you there, What do you say about someone who has just about everything in their home, and knowing that you don't even know what to get them, would you want them to let you know what they want? Or would you just go ahead and buy whatever you think they would like to have? It the same way with me, my family have just about everything in their home, It makes Christmas and birthdays harder for me to shop for them, because honestly I don't know what to buy them when they have everything in their home. When I asked them for a list for things they would like, they wouldn't know. So, I would just give them a gift card, or cash.

It would save me a phone call trip or an email trip if they told me on their own in an invitation what they want, like something for their home, in what color, in what room? Or cash forward their dreams, or a gift card from their favorite store, It'll be a big help if that information was enclosed in an invitation.

I guess everyone view it differently, but with me I don't even consider it rude, I think it'll be a great help in finding the right gift for that person, It'll make my shopping much more easier and pleasure.

My family or friends does not even say a specify amount in cash or gift card. if they did, Yes, I would consider that rude, because not everyone is rich like them.

It's not about being greedy, it's about helping finding the right gift, making shopping easier and pleasure.

If you don't want to buy them a gift, and just go there celebrate their special day, but don't be surprised if they do the same to you.

That's ok if u disagree with me. Everyone is different. No biggie. My mom taught me that was rude and nobody in my family ever has done that. If they did, maybe I would think differently. Who knows?