How many of you do well-being checks?

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When we had to do it for my in-laws it was very rare. Hubby would normally talk with either his mother or father each weekend. Been that way for 14 years we lived in Missouri. They always called. When we did not hear for 2 weekends, we were concerned. At the time, both had serious health issues and were in their 70's. We called a neighbor, who also had not seen vehicles moved or any movement. We then called the Pastor of the church who had a key to the house. He was out of town and said to call Town Hall. We did that and the Code Guy (friend of late-FIL) came with a County Sheriff (neighbor) and did a welfare-check. Turned out, FIL's alzheimer's was worse and he was getting sicker with his cold. MIL was not doing well with her cold and both had to be hospitalized. Until we moved back down, we kept up with the weekly calls.

In most cases, we would not have done so, but we knew their health was not good and we had a system in place. They were very appreciative that the system worked and all went well.
 
I have, on my exhusband. A couple weeks after I took the kids and moved out. His had found him sleeping in his work truck in a clients driveway one day. Next day he went into work and they wanted him to go in for a drug test, which he knew he wouldn't pass so he quit and texted me asking if I'd pick him up and drive him home, he used their work truck to drive to and from home.

On the way to drop him back off he was crying and crying and kept saying how he should just kill himself. He lost his wife, his kids, now his job. How he's such a loser and should just blow his head off. Yes he had a shotgun and a handgun, only a 22, but he had one. I tried to convince him to let me drop him off at a hospital, but kept refusing.

After I dropped him off, later later I texted him and he wouldn't answer. I had been at work when he'd texted me and they moved sine of my clients around so I could go get him, then I went back to work. On the way home, since he hadn't answered me I stopped at the police station, told them the situation and asked if they'd go check on him. I figured it would probably be better if it wasn't me.

Holy crap was he pissed at me. Blew up my phone texting and ranting at me for the rest if the night. How I'm such a bitch and don't care about him. That I only sent the cops there to try catch him using drugs, or to find his drugs, and use it all against him in the divorce.

Asshole. He tells me he's going to blow his head off, refuses to go to see someone and then doesn't answer my texts and gets pissed that I sent someone to check on him. That I was setting him up.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Which I intend to do. He understood my concern, and we discussed what I should do next time it happens, which I hope I won't have to deal with. A few days with no answer I'm used to, but 14 days? Entirely different.
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You are just a little up the tracks from your folks, right? So why don't you go down there once or twice a month, say.....?
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Well, they ARE in their 50's, so I'll probably need to call them more often than I do now. Sounded like this sickness she's dealing with is a really bad one.
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I've told you before knock off the "they ARE in their 50's" baloney. Unless they've got serious disabilities, that's just healthy middle age. They aren't doddering and frail elderly people. They aren't even retired.
 
KristinaB said:
When we had to do it for my in-laws it was very rare. Hubby would normally talk with either his mother or father each weekend. Been that way for 14 years we lived in Missouri. They always called. When we did not hear for 2 weekends, we were concerned. At the time, both had serious health issues and were in their 70's. We called a neighbor, who also had not seen vehicles moved or any movement. We then called the Pastor of the church who had a key to the house. He was out of town and said to call Town Hall. We did that and the Code Guy (friend of late-FIL) came with a County Sheriff (neighbor) and did a welfare-check. Turned out, FIL's alzheimer's was worse and he was getting sicker with his cold. MIL was not doing well with her cold and both had to be hospitalized. Until we moved back down, we kept up with the weekly calls.

In most cases, we would not have done so, but we knew their health was not good and we had a system in place. They were very appreciative that the system worked and all went well.
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Due to their ages and the Alzheimer's, that makes sense.
 
ambrosia said:
I have, on my exhusband. A couple weeks after I took the kids and moved out. His had found him sleeping in his work truck in a clients driveway one day. Next day he went into work and they wanted him to go in for a drug test, which he knew he wouldn't pass so he quit and texted me asking if I'd pick him up and drive him home, he used their work truck to drive to and from home.

On the way to drop him back off he was crying and crying and kept saying how he should just kill himself. He lost his wife, his kids, now his job. How he's such a loser and should just blow his head off. Yes he had a shotgun and a handgun, only a 22, but he had one. I tried to convince him to let me drop him off at a hospital, but kept refusing.

After I dropped him off, later later I texted him and he wouldn't answer. I had been at work when he'd texted me and they moved sine of my clients around so I could go get him, then I went back to work. On the way home, since he hadn't answered me I stopped at the police station, told them the situation and asked if they'd go check on him. I figured it would probably be better if it wasn't me.

Holy crap was he pissed at me. Blew up my phone texting and ranting at me for the rest if the night. How I'm such a bitch and don't care about him. That I only sent the cops there to try catch him using drugs, or to find his drugs, and use it all against him in the divorce.

Asshole. He tells me he's going to blow his head off, refuses to go to see someone and then doesn't answer my texts and gets pissed that I sent someone to check on him. That I was setting him up.
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You did right. We know that often these kinds of threats turn out badly. Better safe than sorry.

Whenever someone makes a suicide threat and has the means to carry it out, that's a red flag.
 
I check on mom when there's a storm or I know one's coming to make sure she has food, water, charged cell phone, and that the truck is ready to go in case of emergency. Very lucky that she has good neighbors and friends to help her out and check on her too. Even when house loses power, the basement stays at a decent temperature for some time in winter and summer. If I can't reach her, I get my best friend's parents to check on her; they live about half mile away.
 
2-3 years ago...a long-time friend needed a place to stay, so I agreed to let him stay with us until he got on his feet....He got a new job, good $$...went to work everyday...things were looking up for him....After 2 weeks, he said he was going to Orlando for the weekend and would be back late Sunday night...left his clothes at our house....just took a small suitcase...

He never came back Sunday night...did not call....:hmm:..all that week, no call...the 2nd week...no call...by the 3rd week....I called the Police to report a "Missing Person".....as I was "concerned" and wondering if something fatal had happened to him....

To find out that he was in a Hotel room with a woman.....:shock:...and when he came back for the rest of his clothes....he cussed me out for calling the Police on him and filing a Missing Person's report.......:shock:.......Say what?
 
Reba said:
I've told you before knock off the "they ARE in their 50's" baloney. Unless they've got serious disabilities, that's just healthy middle age. They aren't doddering and frail elderly people. They aren't even retired.
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But we do not know if they have any carbon monoxide smoke detectors and a gas heat or stove in their home. I agree 50 is not old but we do not have all the facts. I know the OP has a habit of going on about things but we have no idea of what is going on with the family and we really do not need to know. I think you're stepping out of line telling him what he can and can't say.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
But we do not know if they have any carbon monoxide smoke detectors and a gas heat or stove in their home.
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That has nothing to do with their age. People in their 20's can die from carbon monoxide.

I agree 50 is not old but we do not have all the facts. I know the OP has a habit of going on about things but we have no idea of what is going on with the family and we really do not need to know. I think you're stepping out of line telling him what he can and can't say.
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He keeps referring to people in their 50's as though they were on death's doorstep simply by virtue of their age. As someone over 50 it's not out of line for me to state that people in their 50's are not elderly or decrepit, barring any disease or disability.
 
Reba said:
That has nothing to do with their age. People in their 20's can die from carbon monoxide.


He keeps referring to people in their 50's as though they were on death's doorstep simply by virtue of their age. As someone over 50 it's not out of line for me to state that people in their 50's are not elderly or decrepit, barring any disease or disability.
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I do agree...and remember when I was in my 30's, thought 50 was "old"....:giggle:...

Good thing for me tho'....my boys have never made a welfare-check on me...but if they did...I would not be angry....we email a lot....and if I'm sick, I'll mention it to them...and my neighbors are really good...
 
Tousi said:
You are just a little up the tracks from your folks, right? So why don't you go down there once or twice a month, say.....?
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Up the tracks is an understatement. By Amtrak, the trip takes 3.5 hours and 201 miles, and then there's the 30-mile drive to my parents' house, so close to 230 miles and 4 hours total transport time, and the fact that my Dad works everyday but Saturdays, he rarely gets any time off, and the same goes for my stepmom-- she rarely gets any time off, either. Then only way I can see them is when both of them are off at the same time, which is very rare. I only get to go home 1-2 times a year.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Well, they ARE in their 50's, so I'll probably need to call them more often than I do now. Sounded like this sickness she's dealing with is a really bad one.
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Um - I guess I am doddering and old then and I know users in this discussion are older than me, but I am 50 right now.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Well, they ARE in their 50's, so I'll probably need to call them more often than I do now. Sounded like this sickness she's dealing with is a really bad one.
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i-m-old-o.gif


There are many of us 50 and older here. It's a miracle we are able to type and comprehend things here.
 
KristinaB said:
Um - I guess I am doddering and old then and I know users in this discussion are older than me, but I am 50 right now.
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I don't necessarily mean you're old-- 50 is still young. I should've chosen better wording. My apologies.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Up the tracks is an understatement. By Amtrak, the trip takes 3.5 hours and 201 miles, and then there's the 30-mile drive to my parents' house, so close to 230 miles and 4 hours total transport time, and the fact that my Dad works everyday but Saturdays, he rarely gets any time off, and the same goes for my stepmom-- she rarely gets any time off, either. Then only way I can see them is when both of them are off at the same time, which is very rare. I only get to go home 1-2 times a year.
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You don't work, right? If so, the time and distance is nothing.....you don't have to wait till both are home if you go twice a month or so.....that is, it you really wanted to.....
 
ambrosia said:
Asshole. He tells me he's going to blow his head off, refuses to go to see someone and then doesn't answer my texts and gets pissed that I sent someone to check on him. That I was setting him up.
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Jesus christ, good riddance! :eek3:
 
Tousi said:
You don't work, right? If so, the time and distance is nothing.....you don't have to wait till both are home if you go twice a month or so.....that is, it you really wanted to.....
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I think it's more likely they told him he can't.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
I don't necessarily mean you're old-- 50 is still young. I should've chosen better wording. My apologies.
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No offense. . I understood we cannot control choice. you can responsibility deal own manage welfare situation your resolve.. .... Respect to user AD... no matter young or older.. we care to people. understood.. you blame to people it seeems serious.. you likes unacceptable.
 
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