How many of you do well-being checks?

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ChicagoBlue2

ChicagoBlue2

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Let's say you live in another town, and you have family hundreds of miles away you haven't heard from in a while, raising cause for some concern, and want to know if they are all right. So you look up (or already have) the local police department number, and ask them to make sure family is all right.

How many of you have done this? I just want some feedback, as I'd never had one done until earlier this morning.
 
You did this to your parents? Then it becomes a form of emotional blackmail where they have to take your call or have the cops show up.

If you were my kid and did that to me, I would do my best to have you committed, and then if you ever got out, I would get a restraining order so you couldn't contact me.
 
Bottesini said:
You did this to your parents? Then it becomes a form of emotional blackmail where they have to take your call or have the cops show up.

If you were my kid and did that to me, I would do my best to have you committed, and then if you ever got out, I would get a restraining order so you couldn't contact me.
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Let me make one thing clear-- they did not show up at their house-- they contacted her by phone first. I didn't know what was going on, and had reason to be concerned. And I already talked to her, and turned out she'd been really bad sick, which I did not know until this morning. However, I'll talk with my Dad and explain to him why I did what I did, because he knew more than I did, so it's perfectly reasonable to want to make sure my stepmom is okay.
 
you mean a welfare check. well that's your decision.
 
Bottesini said:
You did this to your parents? Then it becomes a form of emotional blackmail where they have to take your call or have the cops show up.

If you were my kid and did that to me, I would do my best to have you committed, and then if you ever got out, I would get a restraining order so you couldn't contact me.
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HUH? Chicagoblue was concerned about someone he had not heard from in awhile and called the cops to check up on them. How is that emotional blackmail? I would had done the same if I had not heard from my mother when I lived 3,000 miles from her . My older sister lived in California too and my younger sister was almost a 3 hour drive away from mom so the only person that could get to her house fast would had been the cops or fire department.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Let me make one thing clear-- they did not show up at their house-- they contacted her by phone first. I didn't know what was going on, and had reason to be concerned. And I already talked to her, and turned out she'd been really bad sick, which I did not know until this morning. However, I'll talk with my Dad and explain to him why I did what I did, because he knew more than I did, so it's perfectly reasonable to want to make sure my stepmom is okay.
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That's just creepy. She could answer the phone for the police. She just didn't want to be bothered by you at the moment.

Get a clue.-
 
I would call Dad first before calling police. I know that we have discussed the fact that your Dad is a truck driver. I don't know how often he is home or how often you communicate with him.

As for home checks, I've not had been in a position where I had to do home checks. I feel lucky so far. I know that the older my parents get, the more likely I may have to do home checks.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
HUH? Chicagoblue was concerned about someone he had not heard from in awhile and called the cops to check up on them. How is that emotional blackmail? I would had done the same if I had not heard from my mother when I lived 3,000 miles from her . My older sister lived in California too and my younger sister was almost a 3 hour drive away from mom so the only person that could get to her house fast would had been the cops or fire department.
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Read everything he goes on about here with all his over reactions and you may begin to understand my view.
 
Boy you love the police don't you? Seriously does your stepmom have any friends or relatives living close by? If so it would have been better to contact them instead of the police. The problem is that the police is better used for extreme emergencies like robberies, fights, etc...

For all you know your mom may have just been tired of dealing with you and simply just wanted a break. How long did your mom go without a response? I would understand your reaction if she did not respond after 4 or so days even if you sent a message asking to confirm if your mom is ok. But if she didn't reply within 4 hours yes that is a little overkill. Even with the police they won't file a missing persons report until the person has been gone for a day.
 
Bottesini said:
That's just creepy. She could answer the phone for the police. She just didn't want to be bothered by you at the moment.

Get a clue.-
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Actually no. I just talked to my Dad, and she really WAS sick, and still is. Dad told me to contact him first before I do that again, cause it turned out he was there when they called, which I didn't know. He's not upset with me, and understood I was concerned. There are quite a few factors that led me to make that call, but I didn't know he was already there. Now I know what to do next time.
 
A Nihilist said:
Boy you love the police don't you? Seriously does your stepmom have any friends or relatives living close by? If so it would have been better to contact them instead of the police. The problem is that the police is better used for extreme emergencies like robberies, fights, etc...

For all you know your mom may have just been tired of dealing with you and simply just wanted a break. How long did your mom go without a response? I would understand your reaction if she did not respond after 4 or so days even if you sent a message asking to confirm if your mom is ok. But if she didn't reply within 4 hours yes that is a little overkill. Even with the police they won't file a missing persons report until the person has been gone for a day.
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I hadn't heard from her for 2 weeks. Now I know why.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Actually no. I just talked to my Dad, and she really WAS sick, and still is. Dad told me to contact him first before I do that again, cause it turned out he was there when they called, which I didn't know. He's not upset with me, and understood I was concerned. There are quite a few factors that led me to make that call, but I didn't know he was already there. Now I know what to do next time.
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Yes, Mark. Your dad must be a really nice guy. If he was there, it means they both didn't want to talk to you.
 
Jiro said:
you mean a welfare check. well that's your decision.
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Well, they ARE in their 50's, so I'll probably need to call them more often than I do now. Sounded like this sickness she's dealing with is a really bad one.
 
Bottesini said:
Yes, Mark. Your dad must be a really nice guy. If he was there, it means they both didn't want to talk to you.
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Not the point. My stepmom is really sick, and my Dad says she hadn't talked to ANYONE in 2 weeks, not just me.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
Well, they ARE in their 50's, so I'll probably need to call them more often than I do now. Sounded like this sickness she's dealing with is a really bad one.
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In their fifties is not old!

They probably would like some time to themselves.
 
Bottesini said:
In their fifties is not old!

They probably would like some time to themselves.
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You don't know that. They love me and care about me. They never complain about my calling or texting them, making sure all is good, but this was unusual, and I wanted to make sure there wasn't anything serious going on I wasn't aware of, and I'm glad that she's in good hands. Now I have a guideline for what to do next time this happens, which I should mention, is almost never.
 
Bottesini said:
Read everything he goes on about here with all his over reactions and you may begin to understand my view.
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I still disagree with this you posted

" If you were my kid and did that to me, I would do my best to have you committed, and then if you ever got out, I would get a restraining order so you couldn't contact me. "


Wanting him committed kind of make you looks crazy. I agree the OP should had called his dad , I thought the dad was out of the picture completely . I know if that was my mom and if both my sisters had not heard from mom either in few day and where not able to reach her by phone , I would called the cops. All of our neighbors we knew at kids where dead so I could not call them.
 
Your father sounds like he has an admirably good character. Listen to his advice.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I still disagree with this you posted

" If you were my kid and did that to me, I would do my best to have you committed, and then if you ever got out, I would get a restraining order so you couldn't contact me. "


Wanting him committed kind of make you looks crazy. I agree the OP should had called his dad , I thought the dad was out of the picture completely . I know if that was my mom and if both my sisters had not heard from mom either in few day and where not able to reach her by phone , I would called the cops. All of our neighbors we knew at kids where dead so I could not call them.
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It's an overstatement as he doesn't seem to understand if things are phrased tactfully.
 
Konijnen said:
Your father sounds like he has an admirably good character. Listen to his advice.
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Which I intend to do. He understood my concern, and we discussed what I should do next time it happens, which I hope I won't have to deal with. A few days with no answer I'm used to, but 14 days? Entirely different.
 
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