Is spanking on the kids belong kind of abuse?

[Alisteal]

Oh and I KNOW she doesnt' FEEL the pain because she is clothe diapered adn I don't even TRY to make it sting through the two layers of diaper and layer of wool covers lol

 

[Liebling:-)))]

That's just for schools, not families.

That's what I answer with those link to Luckysmile23's post.

Luckysmile23's post got me wondering about legal/illegal over corporal punishment in public school in America.

Check Luckysmile23's post.

what about corporal punishment in public school? i never got spanked at ASD.. all they do is punished me no tv.. sit alone eat.. no activity, no going out to events depend on how serious trouble i am in.. lol..

i still think they ought to ban corporal punishment in public school as it wont do any good for kids.. sigh..

 

[Liebling:-)))]

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=6672&highlight=smack

I didn't notice that you mentioned Sweden in your thread until few days ago.

I didn't know that Sweden is a first country in the world who ban punishment on the kids until I found link from google for a first time today. Very interesting to read.

http://www.nospank.net/europe.htm

Banning Corporal Punishment of Children (not just school but family, too)

http://www.stophitting.com/disathome/sureshrani.php (Sweden is also mention in the link)

http://www.scandinavica.com/culture/society/children.htm

 

[Liebling:-)))]

[

QUOTE=Eve]What works for one, doesn't necessarily work for all.

Yes, it depend on different children's behavior. We (parents) do something to deal with them.

I believe spanking has proven to be a plausible form of discipline through the ages.

It's okay when you beleive form of discipline work on you great on your children.

Yes, every parents have different to have their form of discipline on their children. We are not here to judge parents or parents to be as bad parents that's just because they have different opinion as us.

These days we have so many people telling us how to raise our children and not to spank, yet we have more crime now than ever before in history. Our prisons are overrun with convicts who obviously have never found social punishment that prevented them from breaking laws. Spankings should never go to the point of abuse, but to disregard them completely is insane.

I'm disagree to blame for not spanking turn the children into crimes but due to parents's unlove, unattention, neglection, miserable family background etc.

I remember how behave my eldest son was when he received his first spank from me. Oh dear! He become volience and wild which different from my 3 years younger son who never receive spanking from me. I never have problem with my younger son than eldest son. It took me years to deal with my eldest son to improve since no more spanking from me.
You has a right point that each children have different. That's how the tips work on me great without spanking on my children like what you said that "Dare to Discipline" work on you great.

I have a 2 1/2-yr-old son. He loves to run out into the street, mostly because it is fun to defy mommy. I would love it if he would simply take my advice and not run into the street every time the door opens, but no matter how many times I have discussed the dangers associated with running into the street, he is a rebel at heart (dunno where he gets that from). I would much rather spank his little bottom and have him fear another spanking, than have him encounter the bumper of an SUV flying down the street at 30 mph. I am not a bad mommy. I ensure that when he goes out of the house I am with him. He never goes outside alone. But, when someone walks through the front door, he is out it as fast as his little legs can carry him and just yelling "STOP!" does not seem to prevent him from going into the street. One spanking later and he knows that he would rather not have his tender little bottom spanked. Whatever works is worth no risking my child's life.

Yes, I know it's hard to convince every toddlers how dangerous streets is. Yes, most of toddlers do something like this because they knew their parents don't like but they only like to get their parents's attention. It doesn't mean that you are a bad mommy but make sure that the safety for your child which its normal but I know that we have different opinion how to disipline our children.
Yes, I'm agree that it's impossible to show the toddler the example like this. All what I do is let my children watch on TV over street/road safety.... I know they don't understand like what you said but I'm here to show them what TV said. repeat repeat repeat
We went to town for shopping. It's good thing that we have German law here that we are not allow to walk cross where the red light signal "waiting" shown. We will pay penatly fine if the cops caught us to ignore red light signal "waiting" to walk cross. I repeated to teach the children why we are not walk cross until green light signal shown... repeat repeat repeat until they convinced. Yes, I can understand it's very scary condition of us as parents to watch their toddlers all the time when there're street/road... especially who live close to streets.
I remember when we were in England in 2000. My children were shock when they saw people ignored red light signal "waiting" and walk over the cross. It's no good example for the children to look up the adult who ignore red light signal "waiting" like this because the children could copy them.

 

[Eve]

she still havent apologized to me for that?

Why should she apologize to you for your defiant behavior? You are the one who should be apologizing.

they said they dont believe in spanking?

And they don’t have all the facts. Spanking is a time-proven method of discipline. Many of us were spanked as children and turned out just fine. I am able to hold a job and have never been in prison. The problem with spanking is that so many people associate it with abuse.

I think its important for all parents to take parent class on how to take care of babies, kids and disciplines..

I agree, but there are so many different forms of parenting out there and it isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” category.

only god knows what to do with those who kept spanking kids..

You and I must worship different God’s, because my God specifically told us to spank our children when they need it. I even provided documentation of those verses in my previous posting.

My husband’s ex-wife told my stepson that if I spanked him, I would go to jail. I took him to the police station and asked one of the police officers if I would go to jail if I spanked him. The officer informed my SS that I would NOT go to jail if I spanked him unless I beat him to the point of leaving bruises (which I would never do). Consequently, I do not have to spank my SS because he knows that the consequence is there, he doesn’t push the limits to the point of needing a spanking. Some children will be defiant until they realize that there is a meaningful consequence available for their behavior.

what about corporal punishment in public school?

I like the way corporal punishment was handled in the schools I worked in, in Texas. The principal was the only one in the building allowed to spank a child, and only in the presence of a witness. Prior to spanking any child, a consent form of release must be signed by a parent. If there is no release form signed and the parent does not give consent for their child to be spanked by administration, then if the child gets in severe trouble at school, that parent must come and remove the child from school and take them home.

Any form of discipline can be abusive. Yes, even, and especially verbal abuse. But are you going to quit talking to your child simply to avoid abusing them with your words?

When I was in 3rd grade, I spent the entire school year locked in a book closet. Occasionally the teacher would come in and spank me with a board. It was a very traumatic year for me and left a great impression engrained forever in my memory. However, I realize that what the teacher did was a form of abuse and not how I would ever treat my children or students.

I'm disagree to blame for not spanking turn the children into crimes but due to parents's unlove, unattention, neglection, miserable family background etc.

Spanking can be done in a loving fashion. It should never be done in anger.

 

[DreamyHawaii]

I do spanking my 2 daughters for being discipline and I did warned and they stubborn so I had to spanking their shoulder with my palm hand not with my fist. They been follow up listen our discipline because it is very important for us to do that spanking only for discipline. When I said stop it but still stubborn and explaining to them to use that cooperate,listen,respect,behave,and obey as good fellow their own attitude. If not,had to spanking and no money for allowance and no go out watch the movie,no play with friends,no candy and stay in bedroom. They really improves much better and we are so proud of them for since we been spanking them and they have got changed their better attitude than before. They did said thankful for discpline and they really appreciate it learned their own lesson. So afterward,we have not spanking for a long time. Because they been doing very good with cooperate,listen,respect,obey,behave,and responsible too. That is it. My federal probation officer asked me do I spanking my kids? I said yes I do. They said that is good and smile. Spanking is very important for those our own kids but if someone else their own kids I cannot do spanking that is abuse.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Why should she apologize to you for your defiant behavior? You are the one who should be apologizing.

Yes, Luckysmile23's deserve an apology from her mother for broke her promise to her in first place. No wonder why she lost her respect on her mother for that. I would explain her the reason why I can´t let her go to skating and then apology her for promise her in first place when I´m Luckysimile23´s mother. Luckysmile23 would not of turn into aggressive against her mother if she gave her an explanation.

Example: I DID promised my children to go Switerzland for 3 days trip last August but we have to cancel due gasoline ground. We apologized our children for broke our promise for not take them to there and gave them good explanation. Of course they are upset but they understood it than blow their head against us.

Never promise anything to children if you are not sure but with Switerzland, we PROMISE them because we KNEW we WILL go but we never thought how expensive gasoline are last August.


I see nothing wrong for the parents to apology their children when they know they makes mistakes...

I like the way corporal punishment

Disagree.

What I explain in my earlier post

I'm disagree to blame for not spanking turn the children into crimes but due to parents's unlove, unattention, neglection, miserable family background etc.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin5.htm

Depend on different displinice how to make the children into volience/crimes, that´s not because of antispanking.

Example:
It´s okay when you positive your children with discplinie and show them to good path instead of spoil them like rotton ... never give them positive life to learn anything. Let them everything what they wants... could be lead bad path.... also verbal abuse, abuse, etc... Simple hurt the children because they are subborn and wont listen you. IMO. ..

 

[Eve]

Yes, Luckysmile23's deserve an apology from her mother for broke her promise to her in first place. No wonder why she lost her respect on her mother for that. I would explain her the reason why I can´t let her go to skating and then apology her for promise her in first place when I´m Luckysimile23´s mother. Luckysmile23 would not of turn into aggressive against her mother if she gave her an explanation.

You know, we are only getting one side of this story. There may be more to this than we know. For all we know, Luckysmile23’s mother may have had something more urgent come up that was unavoidable. Maybe, Luckysmile23, like my own children, misunderstood or assumed there was a promise made when there wasn’t one. Maybe, Lucksmile23 acted so horribly that her mother felt it would be better not to allow her out in public with that sort of behavior. Maybe Luckysmile23 misunderstood which day the mother intended to allow her to go skating. All we have here is Lucksmile23’s recollection of an event which took place years ago. I am sure the mother had a reason which we are unaware of. Regardless, Luckysmile23 had no right to be disrespectful of her mother. The woman clothed her, fed her, provided a roof over her head, not to mention going through labor and giving her life. Her mother deserves more respect than what was shown and Luckysmile23 acted like a spoiled BRAT.

All this boils down to ultimately is your judgment of others for choosing to spank their children. You don’t see us judging you for NOT spanking your children, so maybe you should reconsider your stance and stop telling others how to raise their own children. I am doing a damn fine job without your input!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

You know, we are only getting one side of this story. There may be more to this than we know. For all we know, Luckysmile23’s mother may have had something more urgent come up that was unavoidable. Maybe, Luckysmile23, like my own children, misunderstood or assumed there was a promise made when there wasn’t one. Maybe, Lucksmile23 acted so horribly that her mother felt it would be better not to allow her out in public with that sort of behavior. Maybe Luckysmile23 misunderstood which day the mother intended to allow her to go skating. All we have here is Lucksmile23’s recollection of an event which took place years ago. I am sure the mother had a reason which we are unaware of. Regardless, Luckysmile23 had no right to be disrespectful of her mother. The woman clothed her, fed her, provided a roof over her head, not to mention going through labor and giving her life. Her mother deserves more respect than what was shown and Luckysmile23 acted like a spoiled BRAT.

wow, this is disrespectful/judgement what you said this to Luckysmile23.

Sure, there´re some of bad mothers who gave the birth, fed, clothes on their children is NEGLECT to discpline them. To me, positive displicine is the most important for the children to learn into good path. Not just birth, fed, clothed on them but EVERYTHING.

All this boils down to ultimately is your judgment of others for choosing to spank their children. You don’t see us judging you for NOT spanking your children, so maybe you should reconsider your stance and stop telling others how to raise their own children. I am doing a damn fine job without your input!

My judgement?, Oh no... Look what you did on Luckysmile23... is JUDGEMENT and DISRESPECTFUL... I see nothing wrong to have her to post to tell us how she feel about her mother.

It´s my thread, I create in PARENTING forum (section) here for everyone to share our debate agree to disagree respectful with no bashing/insult. I´m not allow to have them to bashing/insult on my thread but agree/disagree. I see no problem to have anyone here to disagree with me which it´s good experience for all of us. Is it harmful to debate with them with agree to disagree?

We went to parent conference to have debate and lescure.... because we are interesting like what I did with my thread here.

I´m not touchy or offense when you said that anti spanking on children will turn into crime etc. Is it harm to disagree with you for that?

 

[Eve]

wow, this is disrespectful/judgement what you said this to Luckysmile23.

This isn’t disrespect. This is stating that we don’t know the whole story. There is nothing bashing or insulting about showing that there are often situations were we only know a certain amount. But, what we do know from Luckysmile23 is that she was definitely disrespectful toward her mother.
If I had spoken to my mother the way Luckysmile23 said she spoke to her mother, I would have ended up with a hand across my face....AND I WOULD HAVE DESERVED IT!

 

[Cookie Monster]

I have to agree with Eve because if I put myself in Luckysmile's position and I backtalked to my mother, my mother would've slapped my face for doing that. Looking back at this, I know I would have deserved it and probably would do a different approach to my child instead of slapping her face.

Remember that there are always three sides to a story... Person A's side, Person B's side and the truth.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Luckysmile23 has no reason to make up her post here or what? She´s an adult and already mother of one son. Why should she?

I don´t blame her because she know "spanking" is a hurt... I know that feeling because I had been through. Yes, I´m good person but sadly is I have no loving and trust feeling toward my parents. I can´t talk anything open with them... I withdraw more and more from them. I know what it´s an exactly after read Luckysmile23´s post.

Sure, we (children) are not angel but the parents should not spank on them over little things or gave them negative discplinie.

Cookie Monster, please re-read Luckysmile23´s whole post. She described how she feel for received the spankling from her mother. I see nothing wrong that she poured out her feeling on my thread here and share her opinion/feedback over spanking here with us.

my mother would've slapped my face for doing that.

wow, I would never do that to my children but ground them. How do you feel after receive spank on your face... Logically, you are angry and hurt ...

 

[Eve]

Luckysmile23 has no reason to make up her post here or what? She´s an adult and already mother of one son. Why should she?

I believe cookiemonster already answered this

Remember that there are always three sides to a story... Person A's side, Person B's side and the truth.

Everyone has their own perception of how something takes place. You may said the sky is blue, yet from my POV it is more azure….

I don´t blame her because she know "spanking" is a hurt... I know that feeling because I had been through. Yes, I´m good person but sadly is I have no loving and trust feeling toward my parents. I can´t talk anything open with them... I withdraw more and more from them. I know what it´s an exactly after read Luckysmile23´s post.

This is your PERCEPTION. I, too, was spanked and I thank my parents for doing so, otherwise I may not have the necessary respect for authority that I now have.

I see nothing wrong that she poured out her feeling on my thread here and share her opinion/feedback over spanking here with us.

So what is your problem with me sharing my opinion/feedback??? I offer a differing POV and you just don’t like it, well TOUGH! You are just going to have to get over it, cuz nobody is always going to agree with you 100% of the time.

wow, I would never do that to my children but ground them. How do you feel after receive spank on your face... Logically, you are angry and hurt ...

Again, I believe we have both already answered this question.

AND I WOULD HAVE DESERVED IT!

Looking back at this, I know I would have deserved it

Meaningful consequences are a part of life. It helps set limits and mold us into the kind of people we are.

 

[Cookie Monster]

LieblingDarling, I read and I did re-read Luckysmile23's post regarding her feelings about being slapped by her mother. I did post to Eve

Why do you think I am so overtly-aggressive? I have a self-centered mother & I love her, yes, she gave me life however there are days that I wish she would not rain on my parade as she has her own to rain on.

source

You can see that each parent/child relationship aren't the same, LieblingDarling. One child envies another parent/child's loving relationship but that aspect isn't the same for another parent/child loving relationship.

In my mother's world, backtalking was a no-no. She backtalked and she got severely reprimanded. I backtalked and that was a no-no. I got severely reprimanded. I am breaking this abuse cycle. The more you slap and spank out of pure anger, you build walls of communication around your child and you.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

cuz nobody is always going to agree with you 100% of the time.

I already said in my earlier post that I do not expect anyone to agree with me 100%. I see no problem for anyone to disagree with me.

 

[Cheri]

So what is your problem with me sharing my opinion/feedback??? I offer a differing POV and you just don’t like it, well TOUGH! You are just going to have to get over it, cuz nobody is always going to agree with you 100% of the time.

Luckysmile23 acted like a spoiled BRAT.

You kept forgetting the rules apply here Eve, Respect is the key, and you did a name-calling just because you disagree with Luckysmile's opinion. Was that nesscary?

 

[Reba]

I like the way corporal punishment was handled in the schools I worked in, in Texas...

At the school that my daughter attended, and my grandsons now attend, corporal punishment is handled in a similar way. In addition, they also have the option to call the parents and have one of them come to the school and administer the punishment in the principal's office, with witnesses. Very rarely does that method have repeat offenders!

 

[Mookie]

Originally Posted by Eve
I like the way corporal punishment was handled in the schools I worked in, in Texas...

At the school that my daughter attended, and my grandsons now attend, corporal punishment is handled in a similar way. In addition, they also have the option to call the parents and have one of them come to the school and administer the punishment in the principal's office, with witnesses. Very rarely does that method have repeat offenders!

I like to watch anyone spanking on kid with CI. Who knows if CI can properly function...

Thanks for reminding me, I better go see my old elementary principal at senior citizen nursing home and kick his ass for a lack of communication...

 

[Angel]

I surely do understand that some parents rather not to spank their children because to them it's an abuse, but there are some parents out there who do spank their children and do not think of it as an abused....

Every parents has their own way of discipline their own children, no parents is wrong for doing so...

 

[Reba]

Yes, Luckysmile23's deserve an apology from her mother for broke her promise to her in first place.

I don't know the full story behind the "broken promise" but I do know what I read in Luckysmile's description of her reaction. Luckysmile was very disrespectful and immature in her response to mom. Immaturity can be overlooked in a child but disrespect and rebellion cannot.

I would explain her the reason why I can´t let her go to skating and then apology her for promise her in first place when I´m Luckysimile23´s mother.

How do we know she didn't do that? Maybe Luckysmile just didn't accept the reason that her mom gave.

... would not of turn into aggressive against her mother if she gave her an explanation.

Not necessarily. Kids don't always react with logic or reason. They are immature, disappointed, and self-centered by nature. Sometimes "reason" doesn't matter. All the kid focuses on is his/her own disappointment. "Boo, hoo, poor me, I can't get what I want; the world is so mean against me." Yeah, yeah, life is rough, no skating today.

Sometimes children have to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. Sometimes that lesson is painful.