Does suffering make you a bitter person or a better person?

Kenai

New Member
Depends on the person. Some people will blame one event and live their life around it. Other's will get past a traumatic event and get on with life.
 

Lillys dad

New Member
I get bitter... and more angry and feel that nobody cares about me
then I will say that I don't care about them... I'll be grouchy
and therapists can't do anything about it.

But everytime people help me or offer me something, maybe like a job...
I'll be a better person.


How can I be a better person when people keep making me suffer?

I remember this guy Eric, he gave me a hug, it really makes me smile and a better person on
that day until my roommates at Gally kept reporting me for no reason.

Umm, you should not base the quality of yourself on the way others treat you.
Also, Your comment about people offering you something, and it making you a better person. How can that be? You are who you are. If you base your personal happiness and self worth, on what someone "Offers" you, you will never be your own person. Your character will simply conform to who is offering you what.

People cannot make you suffer. Only you can do that. The only person on this plante that is responsible for your outcome in almost any situation is you.
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
Right-o! We can't always control what other people do to us but we can control how we react.
 

The*Empress

New Member
I thought the poster meant making people suffering will make them a better people...

I was like, how can that be... making people suffering will make them better?

My mom spank her grandchild... and it seems like he is getting worse and worst.

Same thing with me, my sister and I always in big fight, arguing, and people hanging up on me rudely, and get frustrated more and be more bitter.

And same thing with DOG

If you spank that dog, it won't obey, it will run away.
If you give the dog treat everytime he obey, then that is a solution.


And of course,, Suffering make people bitter....
Just like
that pregnant woman who slapped her husband while she is suffering
labor pain...


What is wrong with that???
 
J

JLFWildKat

Guest
I agree with alot of people here. Just depends on the person. Being a survivor myself. I've learned to make myself a better person & not a bitter one. Although I used to be a bitter person all the time. But being young & not knowing & understand the values of life. That is normal really. But alot of people let their pasts drive them in the ground all their life. I used to. Until I've learned to control it. Not saying the past will never go away. But you eventually learn to put it in the back of your mind & move on in life. Not always easy no I understand that. But you can't let it get in the way of your hopes & dreams & most of all your future of making yourself a better person.
 

The*Empress

New Member
PAST???

What about people with cancer with awful pain.... ??? How that will
make them a better person?

If I was in deep pain,, I would tell everyone to go away...
and tell children to stop playing... and let me rest...
Yeah I be bitter about dying and suffering.
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
It is how we see it, but it is how the person shows it too. We can take it anyway we can, but if the person is grumpy and don't want help then we say they are bitter. If the same person accepts our help and give us advise ontop of his pain, then that person is better and we will say that person is too.

Yes I second that.

It would be great when people move on and positive their life... with or without help. If they want to help themselves to positive their life... If not, need professional help. They would remain bitter people rest of life if they refuse to accept what they are.


Reba's post
People who already have a sour, negative attitude will usually become even more bitter. They focus on their own problems, and blame others.

People who already have a humble, positive attitude will usually become even better. They focus on other people's needs, and take responsibility for their own outcomes.

True.
 
G

Gemtun

Guest
PAST???

What about people with cancer with awful pain.... ??? How that will
make them a better person?

If I was in deep pain,, I would tell everyone to go away...
and tell children to stop playing... and let me rest...
Yeah I be bitter about dying and suffering.

My beloved friend died from cancer Saturday - she fought against cancer for past 5 years but it never stopped her from being very positive and happy. She lived her life the best as she could to the very end. Im deeply grieving for her as she was truly a bright light in my life. :( She choose to be a better person and spread her joy around, instead of feeling sorry for herself and being angry & bitter.

Bless her soul!
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
I thought the poster meant making people suffering will make them a better people...

I was like, how can that be... making people suffering will make them better?

My mom spank her grandchild... and it seems like he is getting worse and worst.


Same thing with me, my sister and I always in big fight, arguing, and people hanging up on me rudely, and get frustrated more and be more bitter.

And same thing with DOG

If you spank that dog, it won't obey, it will run away.
If you give the dog treat everytime he obey, then that is a solution.

And of course,, Suffering make people bitter....
Just like
that pregnant woman who slapped her husband while she is suffering
labor pain...


What is wrong with that???


I have to agree with you on this. Treat pets like we did with children.
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
My beloved friend died from cancer Saturday - she fought against cancer for past 5 years but it never stopped her from being very positive and happy. She lived her life the best as she could to the very end. Im deeply grieving for her as she was truly a bright light in my life. :( She choose to be a better person and spread her joy around, instead of feeling sorry for herself and being angry & bitter.

Bless her soul!

I'm very sorry to hear about this :(

Its good to know that she positive her life to enjoy before she go heaven. R.I.P. your friend. :(
 

Awauphi

Active Member
My beloved friend died from cancer Saturday - she fought against cancer for past 5 years but it never stopped her from being very positive and happy. She lived her life the best as she could to the very end. Im deeply grieving for her as she was truly a bright light in my life. :( She choose to be a better person and spread her joy around, instead of feeling sorry for herself and being angry & bitter.

Bless her soul!


Sound like my stepdad.. he chose not to be bitter about it as he had prostate cancer, yet he kept working on and get the trailer ready for my mom only that he died sooner and didnt finish what he could as he had silent heart attack then stroke and he passed away in peace. Then my nephew and his friends helped.. only the left thing to do is the skirting. It is not finished. :( He was postive and always happy. Make a joke out of everything to keep all of us laugh. I sure missed him. Its been one year and 2 months and half that hes gone now. He is still around us as I can see his aura.

I am sorry about your friend, Gemtum. :( At least she is at peace now and is with God. :(
 

survivor

New Member
Jesus himself was bitter when he said, "my God why have you abandoned me?" while being crucified on the cross. So it is a natural human tendency to be bitter in the face of pain and suffering. But like Jesus when he said, "It is finished, Father into thy hands I commend my spirit.", we must also learn to surrender completely everything to God. By doing so, we turn all the negative things such as bitterness and hate into something positive, thus we become a better person.
 

sr171soars

New Member
Right-o! We can't always control what other people do to us but we can control how we react.

Yep, that is the truth. Bitterness is a wasteful emotional experience. The other person has no clue and sometimes could care less how you feel about it. You are only hurting yourself not the other person. Does anybody notice that when a person is bitter, everybody else gets hit with a bitter response even if they are innocent of the matter? Was that the point of being bitter? To alienate everybody around you? Most people avoid such like the plague. Who wants to be around such people? It is a rare person who can see beyond the bitterness and see what is troubling the person (typically a good friend).

Life isn't fair (and never will be) and we got to move beyond these painful episodes and not let it get us down. Pretty much everybody has had a painful and potentially bitter situation in the past. Some can get beyond it and others can't. For those that can't, what a sad statement of their lives...trapped in a "gut wrenching" pain from the past and no way to escape.
 
J

JLFWildKat

Guest
People with cancer is a different story..I think they are very strong to fight as long as they can dealing with it..

Not everyone with cancer would be bitter about dying & suffering..



PAST???

What about people with cancer with awful pain.... ??? How that will
make them a better person?

If I was in deep pain,, I would tell everyone to go away...
and tell children to stop playing... and let me rest...
Yeah I be bitter about dying and suffering.
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
People with cancer is a different story..I think they are very strong to fight as long as they can dealing with it..

Not everyone with cancer would be bitter about dying & suffering..

Yes I'm agree with you...

I have seen a lot of people who suffer incurable illness, try to positive their life.... but my MIL do not positive her life but keep on cry and don't want die.... and want to see my boys development.... :(


Miss Empress,

The people become bitter due kind of abuses, neglect, etc., not incurable illness. This is a difference.
 

jillio

New Member
I, too, think it depends on the person. My husband died when my son was 6, I raised my deaf child on my own. My father died 6 months after my husband. Then my brother died 2 years ago, and my mom died 2 months on the same day. Just a day before mother's day. I know a lot of people who have gone through less, and are very resentful and bitter. But I don't really consider myself to be bitter. No reason to be. My son is an adult now, and doing well, and I have gone back to school to get my graduate degree. Maybe my life was a bit harder than I thought it was going to be, but I've done all right, and am still making efforts to improve. What's to be bitter about?
 
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