You ever get people who tell you not to use sign language?

shel90 said:
My best friend's mom told that to my friend and I at dinner table one time. She said it was rude cuz none of the others could understand what she, her deaf brother and I were saying. Can u believe that? The 3 of us couldnt understand what everyone else was saying cuz they were just chatting away and not making sure we were able to follow what they were saying. I was furious...furious and wanted to walk out ..dont remember why I didnt.
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It seems similar to the situation I had a while ago. My mum and my other siblings were down the south coast. I was at my uncle's (my dad's brother) and aunt's place for dinner, they just returned from a 5 week holiday in UK.

At the dinner table, I was eating dinner and my relatives were chatting away... my father didn't translate what was the 'talk' were going on. I was like looking around, seeing these mouths from every person on the table yapping away. In the end, I was a bit not happy inside, so I told my father, I'm going home. And I did.
 
Jclarke said:
It seems similar to the situation I had a while ago. My mum and my other siblings were down the south coast. I was at my uncle's (my dad's brother) and aunt's place for dinner, they just returned from a 5 week holiday in UK.

At the dinner table, I was eating dinner and my relatives were chatting away... my father didn't translate what was the 'talk' were going on. I was like looking around, seeing these mouths from every person on the table yapping away. In the end, I was a bit not happy inside, so I told my father, I'm going home. And I did.
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Oh that happens to my deaf brother and I allllllllllll the time at family gatherings. I used to ask them who said this, what did this person say and so on but after learning ASL, I realized I was doing all the work so I do it a LOT less now.
 
shel90 said:
Oh that happens to my deaf brother and I allllllllllll the time at family gatherings. I used to ask them who said this, what did this person say and so on but after learning ASL, I realized I was doing all the work so I do it a LOT less now.
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Frusrating, ain't it?
 
Jclarke said:
Frusrating, ain't it?
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I think I have become more indifferent to it since I know I have my friends in the Deaf community to communicate with.

What I hate is going to my in-laws cuz my mother in law always complains that I dont try to get to know her but she MUMBLES!! I cant understand her! LOL! I tried the VRS thing with her...all she said was "yes" "no" "ok"..I am not going to sit on the other end thinking of things to say..no way. Tried the email thing with her...never replies. I did my part so nothing more I can do.

I asked my hubby if she can learn sign language for me...he laughed at my face saying that is wishful thinking. Ok whatever...I really didnt appreciate that his mom wont even try.
 
shel90 said:
I think I have become more indifferent to it since I know I have my friends in the Deaf community to communicate with.

What I hate is going to my in-laws cuz my mother in law always complains that I dont try to get to know her but she MUMBLES!! I cant understand her! LOL! I tried the VRS thing with her...all she said was "yes" "no" "ok"..I am not going to sit on the other end thinking of things to say..no way. Tried the email thing with her...never replies. I did my part so nothing more I can do.

I asked my hubby if she can learn sign language for me...he laughed at my face saying that is wishful thinking. Ok whatever...I really didnt appreciate that his mom wont even try.
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Perhaps, be more blunt with her for once? She needs to understand that, that communicating with other people, esp. in-laws -- inlaws are very important for the family, you know?

I was visiting a friend, who she is currently sick with fever, she is about a year younger than me. I visited her at her place yesterday and I was surprised when I met her mother for the first time, she was very nice to me, and I could lip read her lips very easily.

Mumbling is just so difficult, your mother in law needs to know that, mumbling is quite difficult for you to understand, just try do something that the in laws can understand and work something out.
 
Jclarke said:
Perhaps, be more blunt with her for once? She needs to understand that, that communicating with other people, esp. in-laws -- inlaws are very important for the family, you know?

I was visiting a friend, who she is currently sick with fever, she is about a year younger than me. I visited her at her place yesterday and I was surprised when I met her mother for the first time, she was very nice to me, and I could lip read her lips very easily.

Mumbling is just so difficult, your mother in law needs to know that, mumbling is quite difficult for you to understand, just try do something that the in laws can understand and work something out.
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I told her that...nothing worked.

It is ok...I am used to it but not used to someone complaining that I dont want to get to know or become close to that person because of communication barriers. That was a first for me so it hurted me big time because she said that in front of a lot of people.
 
shel90 said:
I told her that...nothing worked.

It is ok...I am used to it but not used to someone complaining that I dont want to get to know or become close to that person because of communication barriers. That was a first for me so it hurted me big time because she said that in front of a lot of people.
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they should have been aware that, their son or daugther is married to a deaf person, and they should feel that there is a way to communicate or be more particapted. But Shel90, apologises if I am revoking your privacy in regards of this situation.
 
Jclarke said:
they should have been aware that, their son or daugther is married to a deaf person, and they should feel that there is a way to communicate or be more particapted. But Shel90, apologises if I am revoking your privacy in regards of this situation.
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No, dont apolize..it is ok..I have already brought that topic up about my inlaws in other threads so that way if there are hearing parents or hearing relatives of deaf people, they can read stuff like that and really think about what they are doing to their family members.
 
shel90 said:
No, dont apolize..it is ok..I have already brought that topic up about my inlaws in other threads so that way if there are hearing parents or hearing relatives of deaf people, they can read stuff like that and really think about what they are doing to their family members.
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Cool -- I understand the situation, and it might happen to me if I am married to a hearing wife, I have to be aware of the situation to make it work. But some people have no luck, and they have tried hard to make it work. I come from a hearing family, I am the only deaf person from a large family of 7 people.
 
Jclarke said:
Cool -- I understand the situation, and it might happen to me if I am married to a hearing wife, I have to be aware of the situation to make it work. But some people have no luck, and they have tried hard to make it work. I come from a hearing family, I am the only deaf person from a large family of 7 people.
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That's why I am so grateful I have a deaf brother.

My ex hubby's family was soo good about making sure I understood what was going on cuz he and his siblings (5 of them) were so used to doing that for their mother cuz she speaks Spanish and knows little English. When I came into the family, they had to work twice as hard to make sure I and their mom knew what everyone was talking about!!! LOL!
 
shel90 said:
That's why I am so grateful I have a deaf brother.

My ex hubby's family was soo good about making sure I understood what was going on cuz he and his siblings (5 of them) were so used to doing that for their mother cuz she speaks Spanish and knows little English. When I came into the family, they had to work twice as hard to make sure I and their mom knew what everyone was talking about!!! LOL!
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That's some interesting culture, you have there!
 
Jclarke said:
That's some interesting culture, you have there!
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Yea...my daughter is half Hispanic and half white and my son is half black and half white. Everyone told me if I divorce my hubby, marry an Asian next time and have his baby. Yea, people think it is funny and I just laugh cuz I know it is a very unusual situation. :)
 
shel90 said:
Yea...my daughter is half Hispanic and half white and my son is half black and half white. Everyone told me if I divorce my hubby, marry an Asian next time and have his baby. Yea, people think it is funny and I just laugh cuz I know it is a very unusual situation. :)
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I saw the photo late last year, and it seems to be one beautiful family. :)
 
Jclarke said:
I'm sure, it will be very soon ;)

Apologises for going way off topic in regards of this thread creator. :ugh:
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My apologies too...again, I need another slap. LOL!
 
Things like that come from the same rude people who think that deaf people are "handicapped," "broken," must be "fixed," that ASL is merely a broken English, not a real language, and there is no Deaf Culture. I'm hearing, and it all makes me quite angry as well, but why let them get to you? Their ignorance is not worth your time.

People have often compared to me a person in a wheelchair with one or no legs to a deaf person, saying they are the same because they are both "handicapped," which always infuriates me. My response? "Is there a One-Legged Person Language? Is there a One-Legged Person Culture?" They are almost always speechless. They're even amazed when they realize that deaf people can drive, too! =-O
 
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