Worried and upset

etalton

etalton

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I just don't know what to do. My Mom is 87 and has Alzheimer’s plus Parkinson's Disease. She and my Dad live in Minnesota and the closest family is 3 hours away. My Mom fell twice in the last week. Once, she had to have 6 stitches in her scalp and this last time it was 10 stitches in her neck and 5 broken ribs. She is still in the hospital and will then have to stay in a nursing home for a week or so. I just feel so helpless because I can't just up and travel (this last ha really messed up my finances) and I can't call her because 1)I can't understand conversations on the phone much anymore and 2)if I tried ip-relay, she would get confused because it is not my voice.
I know there is nothing any of you can do, but I just needed to vent.
Thanks for reading...
:ty:
 
That is something that may come..for right now, she and my Dad are stubborn people and he won't hear of it till she no longer recognizes him. Sigh...
 
Do you have other familly members in her area?

Maybe you could think of having your parents moved close to you?
 
Well, it sounds to me that she is in danger to herself (hence the two hospital incidents) so he may need to be forced to make some decisions. :( I wish I knew how to help you.
 
Bottesini, I have a sister about 3 hours away from them. And she goes when she can, but she is a widow with three kids and several grandkids that also need her.
I would love that, but..my parents hate the heat so would never consider moving to the south and my kids and granddaughter are here, so I can't move either.
 
I understand very well of what you are going through as my mother-in-law has Parkinson's. She refused to go into a hostel but decided to in the end, after several falls plus the family's pleading. It was a great relief and peace of mind.

With your siblings or family members, can't you all override your parents' decision?

Do hope this will be resolved for all your sake. :hug:
 
Matilda, My Dad is the problem now I think..he worships the ground she walks on and won't hear of a lot of things that would help her because she won't hear of them. It is a constant struggle for all family members. He is a year younger, very active in the community and on the internet and does everything for her, and himself. He is only now coming round to the thought of help of any kind. It is just going to be a struggle, and I hope it can be resolved. Being the youngest doesn't help sometimes but I do have a very bossy older sister that is doing her best to get them both to listen to reason. Just so frustrating...
 
deafbajagal, I have sent that link to my brother-in-law. He has been through this type of thing before with his own parents and has been our "go to" guy for info. He has had such info on the county they live in, but has never mentioned the state's side of things. Thanks
 
Yes, it's true about being frustrated. Sometimes, the whole thing gets very drawn out and seems never-ending.

Another idea, is to collect some pamphlets/brochures of Assisted home help to give your father for him to read.

We have home help down here in Oz ... help with basic housework, grocery collection, installing rails in shower/bath/loo.
 
Matilda, he has agreed to "look into" some local groups (churches, mostly) that will come in and sit while he goes out. I just hope he takes the opportunity to do so. He would wither and die if he didn't get out . My mom, on the other hand, prefers the safety of the house...yeah..like it is safe.
thanks
 
There have been occasions with people who had Alzheimer's go walk-about, so she will need to be kept an eye on.

A funny incident happened a few years ago ... My neighbor Roy's wife had full Alzheimer's but he had a doctor's appointment to attend and couldn't get anyone to look after her. So he tied her to a kitchen chair comfortably and left. But later, a taxi somehow pulled up at his house (wrong house, was supposed to go next door), then he knocked on the door as no-one was coming out to meet the taxi, peeked in the window and saw this woman tied up in a chair. He was horrified so rang the police who kicked the door down. Meanwhile, Roy arrived home and had to explain it all so luckily, everyone had a laugh. :)
 
Ohh I understand your story...

My great grandma was used to live alone as a landlord of the RV park in middle of nowhere at southeast California. She was over 90 years old and live in a very small trailer, the trailer look like only 10 feet long and 5 feet wide, she was very weak, can't walk too much, and have very weak bones, she was also very short. Later, she start to fell all the times and doing such mistakes like putting the chemical on her dog's back and the dog's fur burned out, she finally admit that she need to get rid of the RV park and need help so she moved to Las Vegas with my anut and uncle, she have been staying there for probably 2 years, but my uncle was starting to be frustrating about her because she always need help all the times, my uncle always tell something that would scare her, like "I will put your wheelchair next to the swimming pool and wait till you fell in the pool, you will drown. I will not help you." So my great grandma was very scare and she stays in her bedroom at the corner, she picked up the phone and ask my parents if she can move to our place in Vancouver, Washington so my parents went all the way to Las Vegas to pick my great grandma, but she change her mind to move to her friends in Southern California, so my parents brought her to that friend's place. But the problem is that her friends don't understand that she can't clean herself, and it was hard for her to live at that place.

Finally, she decide to go to the elder's home and have been staying there since. She said that she was happy there because she made new friends and always have assistance if she need.
 
oh no i am very sowwy abt ur parents.. i hope everything will smooth for u, ur parents..
 
Etalton, I am sorry about your Mom. My Mother has demencia. That's part of the demencia. Demencia is the beginning of Alzheimer. She gets really confused. One time, I asked her a question but she tried to search her mind and she can't remember one thing. Her caregiver explained it me about her being demencia. One year ago, My Mom fell and hit her head with furniture, she was laying on the floor and she passed out. Few hours later, she woke up, she yelled "Help" and her neice heard her from outside. Her neice called ambulance to delivered her to hosptial. My cousin called me on vp and I drove two hours to see my Mom in the hosptial. They told me that She had broken hip on her left leg. I asked my sister if it caused her became demenica from hit her head with furniture. She said No, our Mom had it for few years. I got upset, I don't see why anyone tell me about that she already has demenica. My Mom can't walk very well because she is very weak. I was upset to see her laying her hosptial bed in her home. She slept alot on and off. I feel sad for her. A caregiver gave her bath, change her clothes, help her to get up and get her to seat on toilet seat near her bed. My Mom have hosptail bed in her home. Two different caregiver take care of my Mom for 24 hours everyday.. They clean, cooking, wash the clothes and give her medicines every day. My oldest brother is responsible to take care of her medical bills and other bills. My older sister is repsonsible to take our Mother to see a doctor for check-up and my sister go to grocery stores to buy the foods to brought up to my Mother's house. I wish I live there but I can't. I saw her last month of June 8 on her birthday party. She is 78 years old.
 
Thank-you all for your words of comfort, sharing and concern. According to today's update, she has improved enough to be released tomorrow. My Dad and my sister have been busy checking in with an organization that has people that come to the house and sit, shop, and basic things to take care of my Mom.

Living at Home

I really hope my Dad takes advantage of them. He likes to get "out and about" and does need a break from time to time without the worry that she will try to go up stairs by herself, or decide to move the furniture again. My sister made the call today and talked to the director of the volunteer program. She is going to try and work something out. He also has been in touch with the local social services dept. and is just waiting for the case worker to get back from vacation.
So, I am in a more hopeful mood.

Once again... a big :ty: to all. It really has helped a lot.
 
ETALTON: Call your soical worker or Case worker in near your local hospital, They will help you have many program for your family as needed it
 
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