When Is It Considered "Crossing The Line"

AJ

AJ

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i am pretty protective when it comes to the women in my life. I take care of my aunt patty and, i try and make sure that my sister doesn't get hurt by men. i have a new gf, and of course im gonna take care of her. like last night she was at my house, then she went home. and before she left i asked her to call me when she got home, so that i knew she made it home ok. i always ask my sister where she's going. im the baby out of my 2 siblings and i treat my sister like she's my baby sister. i just want to make sure she's safe. whenever she leaves to go somewhere i always say be careful, or take care of yourself.

what do u think is the point of crossing the line, and becoming over protective.
 
There's no point, AJ; one can't be too careful these days....
 
i guess it just depends on the girl. i had one gf where i was always like, where u going? is someone going with u? be safe. and she hated it. she always told me im being over protective.
but then i had another gf who loved it. she loved the fact that i cared about her enough to ask her where she was going and to be safe.

how am i gonna act when or if i have a daughter? she's gonna hate me.
 
Aj....you are being overprotective....Me I would hate it if someone did something like that to me...yeah you can't be too careful, but treat women like YOU would want to be treated......I'm very independant, and would immediately break up with a girl or boy who treated me that way!
 
Nahhhhh! I think it is a dominant part of the Deaf culture. Deaf people is always informing each other if they are going somewhere. Because, for example, a Deaf person cannot hear other person walking around and can get startled. So, they communicate on their wherebouts and then they know whats going on. Hearing people rarely do that, and I am still puzzled sometimes with my boyfriend when he walks off somewhere without telling me and then I turn around and see that he is gone! So I walk around the house wondering where he is, then outside, then looking in garage to see if his car is still here, etc...

Maybe you grew up in a Deaf household and are used to that????
 
I concur with Kootchie! He's like my brother (I don't even have one!) and wouldn't you know it.. the recent trip we had together, he chastitized me when I was bitching about how I wanted my space from my parents. I come from a deaf family and they constantly check up on me with my friends this and that. I'd go out and not tell them where I was going, setting my parents off in a tiff because they'd panic and think the worst things happening to me. Sure enuff, Kootchie "sided" with my parents. :shock: Of all people, you'd think he would side with me, but no!! He had to give me a lecture and say "You have to do this and that for your parents".

Yes, it is the norms of Deaf Culture, we are constantly checking up on people, one of the good reasons why hearing children are baffled why Deaf parents know when their children are getting in trouble or stirring sh*t.

/I still wuv you, KewtchieBewtchie!
 
AJ said:
i am pretty protective when it comes to the women in my life. I take care of my aunt patty and, i try and make sure that my sister doesn't get hurt by men. i have a new gf, and of course im gonna take care of her. like last night she was at my house, then she went home. and before she left i asked her to call me when she got home, so that i knew she made it home ok. i always ask my sister where she's going. im the baby out of my 2 siblings and i treat my sister like she's my baby sister. i just want to make sure she's safe. whenever she leaves to go somewhere i always say be careful, or take care of yourself.

what do u think is the point of crossing the line, and becoming over protective.
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:thumb: You are not crossing the line here, you are showing your sister and your girlfriend how much you love them, and care about them. It's always good to know where they are going when they do go somewhere, you never know if you need to contact them.

I would say if you were checking up on them, then maybe you're crossing the line there and being too overprotective.

But, telling them to be careful or take care of yourself is certainly fine, it lets them know you care, and just asking where they maybe going is fine. But, hurling 101 questions at them, then you will need to ease up a bit, but, from the way you're talking, it doesn't sound like that at all.
 
Nahhhhh! I think it is a dominant part of the Deaf culture.
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but isn't AJ a hearie? please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought I saw somewhere that he was hearing.

I see nothing wrong with a man behaving like a gentleman and protecting the ladies in his life. AJ is from the South and down South we tend to prefer chivalry over women's lib. If a woman doesn't appreciate the way you are, AJ, then that is not the woman for you.
 
aj, yea i do feel the same. i do overproject my female friends like if ,for instance, we are at mall at night, i would feel morecomfortable to walk her to her car at parking lot. even i keep asking my finacee where she goes because i do not want her being alone for her interpreting job at nights. i do care about females because they are more weak than the males. i do open the doors for those females entering before i enter. sometimes i do open the car door for my finacee and my daughter. :)
 
yeah im hearing Eve. and no my parents arent/werent deaf.....at least i dont think so.

and the only time ill ever call my sister or gf up to check up on them is if they've been gone all day and its starting to get dark. then ill call them and say, hey whats up. how's it going. where are you. is everything ok.

i understand that women dont want to be watched like a hawk, and i dont feel i do that. i just want to make sure they're in a safe situation.

like my sister works at Joes Crab Shack, about a half hour away from here. and if she's going to like 2 hours late, id like to know, so im not worried and freaking out about her.
 
AJ said:
i am pretty protective when it comes to the women in my life. ..
what do u think is the point of crossing the line, and becoming over protective.
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Well, how do they feel? Do the women in your life tell you to buzz off, or do they tell you they appreciate your concern? Do your calls make them feel secure or sufficated or annoyed? Ask them!
 
Well, we are probably not the right people that you should be asking. You should probably ask those that you are protecting. Communication is important. You should ask them how they feel about how you protect them. Maybe, you're going too far. Maybe, you aren't concerned enough. Ask them. :thumb:
 
AJ said:
yeah im hearing Eve. and no my parents arent/werent deaf.....at least i dont think so.

and the only time ill ever call my sister or gf up to check up on them is if they've been gone all day and its starting to get dark. then ill call them and say, hey whats up. how's it going. where are you. is everything ok.

i understand that women dont want to be watched like a hawk, and i dont feel i do that. i just want to make sure they're in a safe situation.

like my sister works at Joes Crab Shack, about a half hour away from here. and if she's going to like 2 hours late, id like to know, so im not worried and freaking out about her.
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off the topic, i didn't know you were hearing! I thought you were deaf the whole time!

back to the topic, I wouldn't be too protective, just try to chill out alittle and let your gf or sister, whoever do this on their own, they're big girls.. let the girls tell you where they're going without you asking. if they don't just let them be.. if something goes wrong.. call around.. but give the girls some space.. my fiance was always like that and i hated it.. but i knew in my heart that he does that because he cares. it doesn't push me away but does to alot of other girls.
 
RebelGirl said:
off the topic, i didn't know you were hearing! I thought you were deaf the whole time!

back to the topic, I wouldn't be too protective, just try to chill out alittle and let your gf or sister, whoever do this on their own, they're big girls.. let the girls tell you where they're going without you asking. if they don't just let them be.. if something goes wrong.. call around.. but give the girls some space.. my fiance was always like that and i hated it.. but i knew in my heart that he does that because he cares. it doesn't push me away but does to alot of other girls.
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lol yeah im hearing.

i did have a gf who HATED me being so protective. ill ask my gf now how she feels about it.
 
AJ said:
lol yeah im hearing.

i did have a gf who HATED me being so protective. ill ask my gf now how she feels about it.
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Dang, i'm embarrasse now.. i think i made a fool of myself thinking you were deaf... lol.. jk.. anyway.. yeah, ask your gf how she feels about it.. and congrats on having a gf!
 
RebelGirl said:
Dang, i'm embarrasse now.. i think i made a fool of myself thinking you were deaf... lol.. jk.. anyway.. yeah, ask your gf how she feels about it.. and congrats on having a gf!
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lol thank you, i plan on keepin her for awhile.
 
AJ said:
lol thank you, i plan on keepin her for awhile.
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same one from um.. the bar? the ones you mentioned in earlier thread.. or is it a different one?
 
RebelGirl said:
same one from um.. the bar? the ones you mentioned in earlier thread.. or is it a different one?
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no no no, different girl. she's an ex girlfriend. i dated her for about 2 weeks in my junior year of high school. her name is amanda, she dated my best friend kirk from 7th grade to 8th grade, then dated on and off up to sophmore year of highschool. kirk still had strong feelings for amanda. and amanda and i became a couple. but felt really weird and odd about it cuz we both cared about kirk so we broke up. we talk all the time and i realized i still like her. and i asked her how she felt about me and she said she felt the same. so i asked her to be my gf. that was....shit...when did i ask her to be my girlfriend....***checks the calender*** on the 3rd of september. so we've been together for 5 days. lol not even a week. but i do feel strongly about her. i feel good about this relationship i think its gonna last a long time. i hope so anyway.
 
AJ said:
no no no, different girl. she's an ex girlfriend. i dated her for about 2 weeks in my junior year of high school. her name is amanda, she dated my best friend kirk from 7th grade to 8th grade, then dated on and off up to sophmore year of highschool. kirk still had strong feelings for amanda. and amanda and i became a couple. but felt really weird and odd about it cuz we both cared about kirk so we broke up. we talk all the time and i realized i still like her. and i asked her how she felt about me and she said she felt the same. so i asked her to be my gf. that was....shit...when did i ask her to be my girlfriend....***checks the calender*** on the 3rd of september. so we've been together for 5 days. lol not even a week. but i do feel strongly about her. i feel good about this relationship i think its gonna last a long time. i hope so anyway.
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does she live in the same town you're in? Sounds like it'll last long.. and keep it up!
 
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