When a Child Says No

Raykat said:
I can relate to Shels comment about beign stressed when faced with a non signing group, my main peeve is the number of foreigners (for want of a beter word) who now serve in our shops and banks, people with strong foreign accents who make it so difficult to lipread.
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I notice that hearing people struggle with foreigners with strong accents too. I can recall working with a Chinese woman several years ago and at first I thought it was just me who was always asking her to repeat what she said. But then I found that all the hearing people at work kept saying they couldn't understand her either, so they didn't bother to talk to her. I felt sorry for her and kept up trying to communicate with her. She had exceptional patience every time I asked her to repeat what she said, it was almost as if she was used to it. I was glad I made the effort - she was a lovely, very intelligent lady.

Welcome to this forum - I just live on the other side of the ditch to you! My husband grew up in Auckland.
 
Neo said:
So you like to work at Walmart for life?
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No, not only if people can take asst. manager position, also one of my supervisor said one asst. manager got more than $90,000 a year but she worked for almost 20 years.

Retail isn't my career choice, though.
 
R2D2 said:
I notice that hearing people struggle with foreigners with strong accents too. I can recall working with a Chinese woman several years ago and at first I thought it was just me who was always asking her to repeat what she said. But then I found that all the hearing people at work kept saying they couldn't understand her either, so they didn't bother to talk to her. I felt sorry for her and kept up trying to communicate with her. She had exceptional patience every time I asked her to repeat what she said, it was almost as if she was used to it. I was glad I made the effort - she was a lovely, very intelligent lady.

Welcome to this forum - I just live on the other side of the ditch to you! My husband grew up in Auckland.
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I remember one lady who worked at an intermodal when I was working as a mail clerk. She had a really thick Boston accent and we were in the South.

I have a tendency to visualize things people say to me so when she said she "pahked the cah in the pahking lot", I got a vision of packers in the packing lot. LOL. I don't think I'm the only one who had trouble understading her. She didn't think I could lipread very well either.
 
R2D2 said:
I am a bit confused by your reply to me in post #35 in this thread. It doesn't seem to have any relevence to anything I said in the post you quoted. A mistake perhaps?
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Yes, it was, R2D2. Iwas actually replying to a previous post from jag regardinghow the information was obtained and questioning if shel was breaking confidentiality by posting about the situation here. Sorry about the confusion!:wave:
 
There's been scores and scores of incidents in the Southern California area where children have been CI implanted after they've objected to it. I did share it with numerous deaf organizations through bulleten correspondence and they respond with silence.

3 months ago a 12 yr old girl in Riverside needed my help to tell her foster parents she didnt want the CI surgery. I had to respond that there is no organized force to pressure her foster parents and the county workers to prevent her from getting the implant.

There really is no organized resistance to CI in the Southland.

Richard
 
You know, if you are going to take the stance that "it's my child and I will decide what is best because I have custody of their mind and body" the same argument can and has been used to justify things such as sexual abuse. "I'm only teaching him/her what he/she needs to know. It's my child, this is for their own good, and it is my decision to make." But I would imagine if you ask the children, they would tell you they completely disagree with the claim that it is for their own good. A parent does not own a child--that child is a gift, a complete and separate human being that has been entrusted to the parent's care, not their domination.
 
U know what I am seeing among the deaf children that do not have CIs..many of them are saying they want one but dont really understand the work that is required to make them successful. I am just worried that if they beg their parents to get one and then they go ahead but ends up not working? What do u all think of that? At least those kids know ASL and have language.

It seems like those young deaf children are seeing the CI as a trend or something. Like one boy has a spiderman design on his CI and the other boys are telling their parents and teachers that they want one.

Just thought it was interesting to observe this lately..
 
jillio said:
You know, if you are going to take the stance that "it's my child and I will decide what is best because I have custody of their mind and body" the same argument can and has been used to justify things such as sexual abuse. "I'm only teaching him/her what he/she needs to know. It's my child, this is for their own good, and it is my decision to make." But I would imagine if you ask the children, they would tell you they completely disagree with the claim that it is for their own good. A parent does not own a child--that child is a gift, a complete and separate human being that has been entrusted to the parent's care, not their domination.
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One could make that argument if they equate giving a child the benefits and opportunities of a cochlear implant with sexual abuse of their own children. However since,virtually all rational, sane and intelligent human beings would not make that equation, your comparison is totally and utterly without merit and ludicrous.

BTW I agree with your statement about parents and how they should view theeir children as gifts. It applies to all parents, even those who have denied their child a cochlear implant.

ciao,
Rick
 
shel90 said:
U know what I am seeing among the deaf children that do not have CIs..many of them are saying they want one but dont really understand the work that is required to make them successful. I am just worried that if they beg their parents to get one and then they go ahead but ends up not working? What do u all think of that? At least those kids know ASL and have language.

It seems like those young deaf children are seeing the CI as a trend or something. Like one boy has a spiderman design on his CI and the other boys are telling their parents and teachers that they want one.

Just thought it was interesting to observe this lately..
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Sure, it is all; about marketing.
 
rick48 said:
One could make that argument if they equate giving a child the benefits and opportunities of a cochlear implant with sexual abuse of their own children. However since,virtually all rational, sane and intelligent human beings would not make that equation, your comparison is totally and utterly without merit and ludicrous.

BTW I agree with your statement about parents and how they should view theeir children as gifts. It applies to all parents, even those who have denied their child a cochlear implant.

ciao,
Rick
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Some would say the sexual abuse is a benefit to the child. The surgery is and always will be an invasive procedure. If the parent forces the child to undergo that surgery, they have abused that child's boody in exactly the same way that a pedophilic, incestuous parent abuses the child's body through sexual abuse. The child's body and mind do not belong to the parent.
 
jillio said:
Some would say the sexual abuse is a benefit to the child. The surgery is and always will be an invasive procedure. If the parent forces the child to undergo that surgery, they have abused that child's boody in exactly the same way that a pedophilic, incestuous parent abuses the child's body through sexual abuse. The child's body and mind do not belong to the parent.
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:gpost: :gpost: :gpost: :gpost: :gpost:
:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
 
jillio said:
Some would say the sexual abuse is a benefit to the child. The surgery is and always will be an invasive procedure. If the parent forces the child to undergo that surgery, they have abused that child's boody in exactly the same way that a pedophilic, incestuous parent abuses the child's body through sexual abuse. The child's body and mind do not belong to the parent.
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It is one thing to implant babies but it is a completely different story to implant older children who say no that they don't want one. Interesting that if a child wants one, most people will grant that child's wishes but when a child says no, people think it is ok not to grant that wish?

We teach out children to say no to drugs, sex, and strangers so isn't that sending the wrong message to the child to ignore her No's and force her to get an implant? I guess many of the CI supporters will argue that it is a different situation with a CI anyway. In my view, it is no different.
 
shel90 said:
It is one thing to implant babies but it is a completely different story to implant older children who say no that they don't want one. Interesting that if a child wants one, most people will grant that child's wishes but when a child says no, people think it is ok not to grant that wish?

We teach out children to say no to drugs, sex, and strangers so isn't that sending the wrong message to the child to ignore her No's and force her to get an implant? I guess many of the CI supporters will argue that it is a different situation with a CI anyway. In my view, it is no different.
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:gpost: I am thrilling to see what CI supporters reacts about your post here.
 
shel90 said:
U know what I am seeing among the deaf children that do not have CIs..many of them are saying they want one but dont really understand the work that is required to make them successful. I am just worried that if they beg their parents to get one and then they go ahead but ends up not working? What do u all think of that? At least those kids know ASL and have language.

It seems like those young deaf children are seeing the CI as a trend or something. Like one boy has a spiderman design on his CI and the other boys are telling their parents and teachers that they want one.

Just thought it was interesting to observe this lately..
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**nodding agreement** Its okay to say no as long as I agree with it. But if I don't agree, then you can't say no!
 
My view, for what its worth, is that if CI had been available when I was a baby or growing up I would have blessed my parents for ever if they had had me implanted.
 
Raykat said:
My view, for what its worth, is that if CI had been available when I was a baby or growing up I would have blessed my parents for ever if they had had me implanted.
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That's one big "if". Can I ask you this? Are you prelingually or postlingually deafened?
 
Raykat said:
My view, for what its worth, is that if CI had been available when I was a baby or growing up I would have blessed my parents for ever if they had had me implanted.
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Why? I don't see what the use for it, because your English grammar is very excellent. It seems that you've done well, that's my opinion for what it's worth. ;)
 
jillio said:
That's one big "if". Can I ask you this? Are you prelingually or postlingually deafened?
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Pre lingually......born deaf, adopted at birth, not diagnosed until 5 yrs old.

You may like to read my thread "anyone adopted and found their birth family"
 
Raykat said:
Pre lingually......born deaf, adopted at birth, not diagnosed until 5 yrs old.

You may like to read my thread "anyone adopted and found their birth family"
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I'll do that. Thanks for answering my question.
 
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