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Come and share the discuss with us 
Would you punish your children for that or what?
Would you punish your children for that or what?
What you react as parent if you learn that your kids smoking?
- Thread starter Liebling:-)))
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Well, my daughter is in her 30's and hasn't smoked yet, so I don't think that will be a problem for me.Liebling:-))) said:Come and share the discuss with us
Would you punish your children for that or what?
If she did do that when she was a kid, the type of punishment would depend on her age.
When I was a kid, my brother (about 4 yrs. old) picked up a lit cigarette butt. My dad chased him around the outside of the house until he caught him and spanked him. My brother (in his 50's) never smoked, and his kids (in their 20's) never smoked, so I guess it made a strong impression on him.
Hubby and I never smoked, and most of our friends don't either, so I guess our daughter was not exposed to many smokers for influence.
C
Cookie Monster
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Reba, put yourself in today's time. What would you do and react if you caught your teen daughter smoking? Would you be reactive/proactive or sit her down and bore her to tears about polluting her lungs with the cancer sticks?
If I had a child and he/she was a teen, I caught him/her smoking, I'd make sure he/she smoke up the whole cigarette box in front of me and get sick! Serves him/her right!! I'd serve up a plate of ciggies for breakfast, lunch and dinner for my child the next day to teach him/her a lesson. Yes, it sounds cruel but this is how children learn that smoking isn't for recreational purposes. Smoking is stupid!
If I had a child and he/she was a teen, I caught him/her smoking, I'd make sure he/she smoke up the whole cigarette box in front of me and get sick! Serves him/her right!! I'd serve up a plate of ciggies for breakfast, lunch and dinner for my child the next day to teach him/her a lesson. Yes, it sounds cruel but this is how children learn that smoking isn't for recreational purposes. Smoking is stupid!
I'm guilty of smoking! ... :Oops: ..
I know that I shouldn't speak on this issue since I did smoke when I was a teenager and still do now but if one of my boys do smoke, I won't allow that, and will tell them that their mom ( which would be me ) was stupid for smoking in the first place!
I know that I shouldn't speak on this issue since I did smoke when I was a teenager and still do now but if one of my boys do smoke, I won't allow that, and will tell them that their mom ( which would be me ) was stupid for smoking in the first place!
C
Cookie Monster
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Actually Angel, you are entitled to speak on this issue as I would love to have feedback. It's what I like about this forum, we all agree to disagree. Wouldn't you know it, even my parents smoked. They told me and my sisters, "Don't smoke! If we catch you, we'll beat the living sh*t outta you!" Sure enough, my sisters and I didn't until I had a silly idea in my mind to smoke for a short time to lose weight! 
The reason why I said "Smoking is stupid!" because I'm severely asthmatic.
Wouldn't you know it, even my parents smoked. They told me and my sisters, "Don't smoke! If we catch you, we'll beat the living sh*t outta you!" Sure enough, my sisters and I didn't until I had a silly idea in my mind to smoke for a short time to lose weight! The reason why I said "Smoking is stupid!" because I'm severely asthmatic.
IcedTeaRulz
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My friend shared the story about what happened to him when he was young, when his parents caught him and his brother smoking cigs and made them to eat half of cigs as punishment. They are now in 40's and never smoked since!
Well, I was suspicious my older son smoking. His hair and clothes could tell to smell from the smoking cigaretts. He kept saying it was from his friends.
I knew, he denied. I did not argue with him any further because he is 17 years old. I don't want to battle with him about health issue. He is older enough to debate with me. As long as, he is a good student at school. Did not involve any crime or particular wrong group with other kids.
His grandmother did feedback with him about family history lung disease. However, he aware about dangerous health.
He still does smoking the cigarette since high school. As long as he did not involve any drugs.
When your kid becomes older like 17 yrs old. Not worth to battle with them. There is nothing else, you can do. We only try do our best as a good parents. Nowadays, the society influence to the high school kids. More important, they do cooperate with parents. They live with you in the same roof.
I do not smoker either. I do not involve any drugs or drink.
I knew, he denied. I did not argue with him any further because he is 17 years old. I don't want to battle with him about health issue. He is older enough to debate with me. As long as, he is a good student at school. Did not involve any crime or particular wrong group with other kids.
His grandmother did feedback with him about family history lung disease. However, he aware about dangerous health.
He still does smoking the cigarette since high school. As long as he did not involve any drugs.
When your kid becomes older like 17 yrs old. Not worth to battle with them. There is nothing else, you can do. We only try do our best as a good parents. Nowadays, the society influence to the high school kids. More important, they do cooperate with parents. They live with you in the same roof.
I do not smoker either. I do not involve any drugs or drink.
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@ CookieMonster... :Ohno:
@Angel... Don't worry, because I tried smoke when I was 9 years old, too...
@Angel... Don't worry, because I tried smoke when I was 9 years old, too...
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Sabrina said:
Exactly! I would let my children smoke from 16 years old. I would not stop them if they want smoke but I still influence them how bad health is etc...
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I notice some people thinks that the children copy their smoking parents. Not really. Look at me... My whole family & relatives are ALL chain-smoker EXCEPT me. Have I learn from them? No! Why? Because I LEARN from cigarette packet warning label and showed it to my family. She said that she´s very regret to start smoke out of curious when she was 17 years old and told me that I should not do that. My mother´s parents & siblings are non-smokers EXCEPT her. I also showed it to my siblings, too but they don´t beleive it (they listen their cliques). My sister regretted it and still smoke 3 packets a day. My brother gave up smoke in 1990. My Dad also within 2 years later after my brother.
My hubby´s parents & relatives are also smoker, too. My hubby was one of them EXCEPT his brother. My hubby gave up his smoking last April 2004 because my children kept on nag on him about healthy risk etc. (I showed them cigarette packet warning label).
Let me tell you the story how it start, my one year younger sister took some of our mother´s cigarettes to teach me how to smoke when I was 9 years old. I tried it and don´t like it. I watched my sister become addict on smoking habits few years later then taught my 5 years younger brother how to smoke that´s time he was around 10 years old.
I´m glad that I LEARN from cigarette packet warning label that I´m non-smoker...
Well, my eldest son Danny tried smoke with his cliques out of curiously in 2003. I can smell thru his mouth and look at his face in odd way without word. He KNEW straight way thru read my mind and admitted that he tried smoke once and don´t like it. I appreciate his honestly and would not punish him for smoke etc... because I know most children like to try anything out of curiously which it´s normal. Of course my son asked me either I tried it. I sat with him and answer his question open what/how I had been tried once when I was 9 years old and explain him why I won´t try again because I know it´s bad for healthy... Danny agreed with me and haven´t try again ever since. He´s very happy that his Dad gave up smoking last April 2004.
We went to World body muesum (bodies donation) in summer 2003. My children were shock when they saw kind of original lungs (they took organs from corpses to boil them for muesum). One of lungs are DARK grey/black. They told my children that it´s from smoking, drugs, etc.
I beleive that it has nothing do with "copy" their parents but learn from their cliques out of curiously.
It does not help when you are upset with your children because they will hide from you more and more but open talk with them what you think of smoking etc. It will make the children talk anything open with you instead of hide from you.
My hubby´s parents & relatives are also smoker, too. My hubby was one of them EXCEPT his brother. My hubby gave up his smoking last April 2004 because my children kept on nag on him about healthy risk etc. (I showed them cigarette packet warning label).
Let me tell you the story how it start, my one year younger sister took some of our mother´s cigarettes to teach me how to smoke when I was 9 years old. I tried it and don´t like it. I watched my sister become addict on smoking habits few years later then taught my 5 years younger brother how to smoke that´s time he was around 10 years old.
I´m glad that I LEARN from cigarette packet warning label that I´m non-smoker...
Well, my eldest son Danny tried smoke with his cliques out of curiously in 2003. I can smell thru his mouth and look at his face in odd way without word. He KNEW straight way thru read my mind and admitted that he tried smoke once and don´t like it. I appreciate his honestly and would not punish him for smoke etc... because I know most children like to try anything out of curiously which it´s normal. Of course my son asked me either I tried it. I sat with him and answer his question open what/how I had been tried once when I was 9 years old and explain him why I won´t try again because I know it´s bad for healthy... Danny agreed with me and haven´t try again ever since. He´s very happy that his Dad gave up smoking last April 2004.
We went to World body muesum (bodies donation) in summer 2003. My children were shock when they saw kind of original lungs (they took organs from corpses to boil them for muesum). One of lungs are DARK grey/black. They told my children that it´s from smoking, drugs, etc.
I beleive that it has nothing do with "copy" their parents but learn from their cliques out of curiously.
It does not help when you are upset with your children because they will hide from you more and more but open talk with them what you think of smoking etc. It will make the children talk anything open with you instead of hide from you.
C
Cookie Monster
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Liebling:-))) said:
I liked your proactive approach with Danny when your whole family went to the World Body Museum. Danny could see the effects of smoking at a very young age and realise it now than later on. It's best to be proactive than be reactive. Communication is best eh?
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Liebling:-))) said:Exactly! I would let my children smoke from 16 years old. I would not stop them if they want smoke but I still influence them how bad health is etc...
I forget to edit to tell you more, Sabrina...
Yes, it´s important to have the children to respect your rule since they live with you under the same roof.
Eve
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I honestly think it depends on the child....
I smoked as a teen and I think it is due to peer pressure. My parents never smoked, so they were good role models, but they also never really talked to me about much of anything, so I didn't really look to them as an example.
As for my own children....I talk to them CONSTANTLY on all issues ranging from which boys/girls they are interested in, to what goes on at parties, to what they want on their pizzas. If you have a consistent line of communication open with your kids, they are more apt to listen when you talk to them.
I don't feel my oldest daughter is at risk for peer pressure, she has a very strong mind of her own, and she thinks that smoking is "gross". She tends to be the leader of her group of friends, so I don't think anyone will be able to pressure her into anything. She will be the one doing the pressuring.
My stepdaughter is another issue....she is easily influenced by others. She is also easy to discipline because she doesn't like to get in trouble or scolded. I would probably sit down and talk to her about why she chose to smoke, the dangers of it, and what discipline will be enforced if I ever find out she has touched another cigarette after our discussion.
The only thing going for my stepdaughter is my oldest daughter's influence over her. I think that may be her one saving grace.
I smoked as a teen and I think it is due to peer pressure. My parents never smoked, so they were good role models, but they also never really talked to me about much of anything, so I didn't really look to them as an example.
As for my own children....I talk to them CONSTANTLY on all issues ranging from which boys/girls they are interested in, to what goes on at parties, to what they want on their pizzas. If you have a consistent line of communication open with your kids, they are more apt to listen when you talk to them.
I don't feel my oldest daughter is at risk for peer pressure, she has a very strong mind of her own, and she thinks that smoking is "gross". She tends to be the leader of her group of friends, so I don't think anyone will be able to pressure her into anything. She will be the one doing the pressuring.
My stepdaughter is another issue....she is easily influenced by others. She is also easy to discipline because she doesn't like to get in trouble or scolded. I would probably sit down and talk to her about why she chose to smoke, the dangers of it, and what discipline will be enforced if I ever find out she has touched another cigarette after our discussion.
The only thing going for my stepdaughter is my oldest daughter's influence over her. I think that may be her one saving grace.
GalaxyAngel
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wow, Impressive this threat excellent!!!
Yes I was former smoker when I was teenager and involved being "cool".. Around I was 16 yrs old until I got 1st preggy (my son) made my decision turned it out COLD TURKEY. I did made my own commient that I'm quit smoking for good.. I'm happy and breathe so beautiful healthly. Reason sake for my child.. Doesn't want giving out "second hand" exhale into children's breathe coming from smoking... err no thank you... Isn't good idea..
Same as me, you're not only ones... *sniffing* My older son already sneak out and started smoking involved w/his teenager peers. Until I found out few wks ago.. I smelled body ODORS smoking.. Geee.. I was so restless and couldn't stand smelly... and decide closer to my son's face.. *pretend I hugged him.. * whoa.. I snapped my eyes wide open... Why you're doing that ? He said, What? I turned my eyes into grinned, Don't be lying to me.. I know you're doing up to..... He's become innocent looks! I said, "What bravo, what you learned smoking?" *Quicker*, He spoke spill his beans everything what happend when he started learn smoking when he was 13 yrs old.. I *screamed high pitched* howl'n front of my older son.. He knew , I'm very totally upset. He came and hugs me.. said, "I'm sorry MOM" I could'nt want you get hurt. I said, yes, Already I have! *sigh*
Few minutes quiet, no talk each together.. I came and talk w/ him again, Can you please go shower and scrubb your teeth until breath clean.. and go room rest of your grounded a day." He say okay.. fine then left..
Next day, He ashioned toward me, APOGLIZED not being honestly w/you since 1 years from now.. I said.. fine accept but hurts and break my heart. He already learned first smoking by 13 yrs old.. but me 16yrs old isn't same... Oh dear, don't remind me 'bout his Birth Dad was 13 yrs old and stared smoking... In my mind, Oh Great... Why Thank you bastard ex!! Oh well... I'm kind hoping, he could try quit his smoking.. I cannot be forced him because too much pressure can be lead he lose his marble and might be storm rage gone out angrily.. I don't want that way... Just slow down, as simple, I try encourge him as "just remind him" Can you try quit smoking one day make soon pretty please... kinda am I begger.. Of course.. I'm MOTHER.... *sigh*
Good thing, rest of my youngest two children aren't know what going on.. I'd rather not them know what's up w/their older brother.
of course I can understand, how you feel.. so am I .. What mother for ?
Of course.. "Just sort out as TEENAGER"
**Doesn't matter, Concern your child learns smoking or strong smoking-chains genes**
((break mumbling)) felt alike pull my hair out pieces..
Yes I was former smoker when I was teenager and involved being "cool".. Around I was 16 yrs old until I got 1st preggy (my son) made my decision turned it out COLD TURKEY. I did made my own commient that I'm quit smoking for good.. I'm happy and breathe so beautiful healthly. Reason sake for my child.. Doesn't want giving out "second hand" exhale into children's breathe coming from smoking... err no thank you... Isn't good idea..
Same as me, you're not only ones... *sniffing* My older son already sneak out and started smoking involved w/his teenager peers. Until I found out few wks ago.. I smelled body ODORS smoking.. Geee.. I was so restless and couldn't stand smelly... and decide closer to my son's face.. *pretend I hugged him.. * whoa.. I snapped my eyes wide open... Why you're doing that ? He said, What? I turned my eyes into grinned, Don't be lying to me.. I know you're doing up to..... He's become innocent looks! I said, "What bravo, what you learned smoking?" *Quicker*, He spoke spill his beans everything what happend when he started learn smoking when he was 13 yrs old.. I *screamed high pitched* howl'n front of my older son.. He knew , I'm very totally upset. He came and hugs me.. said, "I'm sorry MOM" I could'nt want you get hurt. I said, yes, Already I have! *sigh*
Few minutes quiet, no talk each together.. I came and talk w/ him again, Can you please go shower and scrubb your teeth until breath clean.. and go room rest of your grounded a day." He say okay.. fine then left..
Next day, He ashioned toward me, APOGLIZED not being honestly w/you since 1 years from now.. I said.. fine accept but hurts and break my heart. He already learned first smoking by 13 yrs old.. but me 16yrs old isn't same... Oh dear, don't remind me 'bout his Birth Dad was 13 yrs old and stared smoking... In my mind, Oh Great... Why Thank you bastard ex!! Oh well... I'm kind hoping, he could try quit his smoking.. I cannot be forced him because too much pressure can be lead he lose his marble and might be storm rage gone out angrily.. I don't want that way... Just slow down, as simple, I try encourge him as "just remind him" Can you try quit smoking one day make soon pretty please... kinda am I begger.. Of course.. I'm MOTHER.... *sigh*
Good thing, rest of my youngest two children aren't know what going on.. I'd rather not them know what's up w/their older brother.
of course I can understand, how you feel.. so am I .. What mother for ?
Of course.. "Just sort out as TEENAGER"
**Doesn't matter, Concern your child learns smoking or strong smoking-chains genes**
((break mumbling)) felt alike pull my hair out pieces..
diehardbiker
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No kidding
Hey, my reaction would be pretty much neutral. Of course I would be disappointed BUT not mad. My goal is to teach my kid of consequences if they don't learn from somebody's else's mistake.
I am ex smoker, will be 10 years in November. This was the toughest addict I could ever kicked!
about couple years ago, I read an article with startling discovery. Researcher shows that children in non smoker families are MORE likely to start smoking, than those who are in smoking families!
It does make sense, when there is "Prohibitative environment" exists, human, does not matter young or old tend to be very curious and take the risk on breaking the law.
So, here is example, back in 1918, any alcoholic beverage is to be considered as narcotics and not permitted to be sold, carry around, and drink. (Its called Prohibitation). Guess what happen after that started? Alot of hidden serious crimes has shot up, murders, thieves, etc has shot up. Organized crime formed known as MAFIA. Why? Blackmart for those who really wants to drink, and those who are curious on what's prohibitation is all about? It is like, oh is it illegal? Wondering why? So, I can try to see what the consequences by taking risk and break the law and find out whats so fuss about it. Same with general kids, when parents always says NO NO NO NO, kids end up making major mistake, no matter what.
I can go on long list, but need not to.
Hey, my reaction would be pretty much neutral. Of course I would be disappointed BUT not mad. My goal is to teach my kid of consequences if they don't learn from somebody's else's mistake.
I am ex smoker, will be 10 years in November. This was the toughest addict I could ever kicked!
about couple years ago, I read an article with startling discovery. Researcher shows that children in non smoker families are MORE likely to start smoking, than those who are in smoking families!
It does make sense, when there is "Prohibitative environment" exists, human, does not matter young or old tend to be very curious and take the risk on breaking the law.
So, here is example, back in 1918, any alcoholic beverage is to be considered as narcotics and not permitted to be sold, carry around, and drink. (Its called Prohibitation). Guess what happen after that started? Alot of hidden serious crimes has shot up, murders, thieves, etc has shot up. Organized crime formed known as MAFIA. Why? Blackmart for those who really wants to drink, and those who are curious on what's prohibitation is all about? It is like, oh is it illegal? Wondering why? So, I can try to see what the consequences by taking risk and break the law and find out whats so fuss about it. Same with general kids, when parents always says NO NO NO NO, kids end up making major mistake, no matter what.
I can go on long list, but need not to.
nightvision
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cookie monster i agree with you about making the teen smoke a box of cigs. until they become sick. This worked for a friend of mine she never smoked again.
Malfoyish
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My kids are fully aware of the consequences of being caught smoking or doing anything that would be considered hazardous to their health. This includes smoking as well as usage and/or abuse of any other illegal substances.
They'll do whatever they want - but they've been warned that upon being caught by their father or me, they are subject to punishment by crucifixtion and/or spending the remainder of their youth in their bedrooms.
They'll do whatever they want - but they've been warned that upon being caught by their father or me, they are subject to punishment by crucifixtion and/or spending the remainder of their youth in their bedrooms.
MsGiglz
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You guys have excellent postings.
well I am smoker since I was 13 years old.. I really want to quit, its SO hard to quit.. *Sigh*...
For my kids.. well. I will say.. its law that no one buy cigarettes under 21 years old.. (minnesota law). .if you are not going to buy from me or I get for you.. I will make rules.. of course.. I will tell them .. look at me. I am struggling to stop smoking.. (they know i have been struggling for almost a year now)... its not "cool" I was young and think its cool became hardcore habit!
and they are not allow to smoke in the house.. (i smoke outside even tho went through hot/humid to freezing my ass off).. if they busted by police or store.. I am not going to get them..
I know i might sound easy but look at me.. I went through hell.. to quit smoking.. and pressure by people or family.. YOU GOT TO QUIT.. OH YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.. OH YOU STINKS.. OH YOU LIED TO ME THAT YOU WILL QUIT.. please... I have alot respect for non-smokers.. I dont smoke front of them.. I dont smoke in the house.. even though.. at resturants I always go to non smoking sections for my family..
What about the drinking? drunks kill or injure people daily.. they allow to drink in the resturants.. they allow to drink anytime without pressure..
anyway sorry about rant..
well I am smoker since I was 13 years old.. I really want to quit, its SO hard to quit.. *Sigh*...
For my kids.. well. I will say.. its law that no one buy cigarettes under 21 years old.. (minnesota law). .if you are not going to buy from me or I get for you.. I will make rules.. of course.. I will tell them .. look at me. I am struggling to stop smoking.. (they know i have been struggling for almost a year now)... its not "cool" I was young and think its cool became hardcore habit!
and they are not allow to smoke in the house.. (i smoke outside even tho went through hot/humid to freezing my ass off).. if they busted by police or store.. I am not going to get them..
I know i might sound easy but look at me.. I went through hell.. to quit smoking.. and pressure by people or family.. YOU GOT TO QUIT.. OH YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.. OH YOU STINKS.. OH YOU LIED TO ME THAT YOU WILL QUIT.. please... I have alot respect for non-smokers.. I dont smoke front of them.. I dont smoke in the house.. even though.. at resturants I always go to non smoking sections for my family.. What about the drinking? drunks kill or injure people daily.. they allow to drink in the resturants.. they allow to drink anytime without pressure..
anyway sorry about rant..
C
Cookie Monster
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Malfoyish said:
I like that one, Bella.... where were you when I was a wee one? We would've made best friends!I'm not a parent but I'd like to share what Nas' father did to my fiancée when he found out. Since I'm not a smoker and my parents didn't smoke either. Actually, I used to smoke some clove cigarettes but I was 19 years old and I had quitted smoking within three months.Liebling:-))) said:Come and share the discuss with us
Would you punish your children for that or what?
Nas started to smoke when she was 16 years old due to stress. Not peer pressure but homeworks, sports and school activities started to get her. She had been hiding her smoking habit from her parents (her parents never smoke) for 7 months until that day, her father found a butt in Nas' car when he borrowed her car to pick up the car parts at store for his car. Her parents had a serious talk with Nas but apparently that she don't want to quit.
Nas' father decided to do something about it. He took Nas with him to the hospital where he worked at (he's a doctor). He showed her the way around and introduced her to one of lung cancer patients. That patient had an extremely bad lung cancer case due to years of smoking. Nas saw what it (smoking the cigarettes) did to that patient. His face, his arms, his neck, his feet, etc... Lots of tubes over the front of his body & face. It imprinted a horrible reality in her memory of what it'd happen to her if she didn't stop smoking.
The very next day, she quit. Nas's parents never saw any need to place any punishment on her. Just showed the reality of what would happen to her and their work was done without any kind of struggle.
If we have a child and if he/she'd smoke, we will do that to our child by showing her/him around in the hospital like what Nas's father did to my fiancée. There is nothing more harsh than reality and its consequences. None whatsoever.