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I would be appreciate to have your opinion and feedback.
What you do when you were in my shoe?
Here is my story but it´s very sad... I have been thinking about for the weeks either I should tell Bertl the truth or not.
We know Hans and his estranged wife Ute for many years before he introduced his girlfriend Bertl of Munich (over 200 km part between her area and our area) to us last January 2004. My hubby and Hans work at same company.
Hans´s and Ute´s marriage was on the rock for a long time and they had been separated 3 times for past 15 years until last year. They love and hate each other for years. They together have a 11 years old daughter Nadine. Hans is an aggressive man. Ute can´t bear his attitude anymore and fall in love with other man through internet and left him. We thought they are serious about apply for a divorce since they went to their lawyer for a first time. Hans met Bertl few day later after Ute walked out on him. They are agree to get divorce as fast as they can then they are free for their lovers. Nadine decided to live with her Dad. Hans noticed how stress he is with Nadine since Ute left so he begged Bertl to give her good paid job in Munich up and also her appartment, too to move to live with him and Nadine permanently instead of see each other every weekends.
My friends & I suggested Bertl to not give her job and appartment up yet until she find better job in the area where we live then......................... Bertl listen Hans instead of us. This is her choice.
Well, she started her new life with Hans last 1st April in our area with no job. She stay home to look after Nadine and take care of housework and Nadine´s homework etc. Nadine alway ran to his Dad for complaint when he came home from work that Bertl is not her mother. Bertl tell her what to do... Bertl tell her to tidy things away.... etc etc etc... Hans listen Nadine´s side and against Bertl for that. He forbid Bertl to do with Nadine. Next time Bertl is withdraw and do nothing with Nadine when they are alone. She watched Nadine´s behaviour goes worst... She do housework and cook period. The teacher complaint Hans about her daughter´s poor education. Hans blamed Bertl for that. Werid isn´t he? Of course we often watch him scream on Bertl over Nadine...
Few weeks later after 1st April, I heard the rumor that Hans want to have Ute back. I can´t beleive when I heard because I know Bertl give up everything in Munich to move to live with him. I told them that the rumour must be misunderstand. We dont want to beleive this until we saw Ute & Hans together last May at 75th festival. (Hans is the chairman of Deaf Club in our area). They are closed like lovebird to neglect Bertl almost all the day. It upset Bertl totally and ran off to bathroom. It´s no good to see like this in the public. Hans replied: “What should I do with that baby cry”? We (friends) persuaded him to check with Bertl in the bathroom. Ute is sort of drunk and told us everything and said that she knows that Hans wants her but she has no love feeling for him. What she had been through etc. Hans is back from bathroom with aggressive look and call Bertl nasty names in the public and said that Bertll is mental and jealous because of harmless chat with Ute.
We stopped at Hans´s and Bertl´s appartment on our way from shopping centre one day before we went off to Paris last Sept. We thought it´s a joke when Bertl told us that she is not going to Paris with us tomorrow due her “funny impression”. Hans confirmed that she is not going because he can´t afford to pay her fare to Paris because he needs money to save up to buy thing for the house, which they will move to live a new house this December.
Next day after that, we met friends at bus station. We are like :-o when we saw Hans come to us with Ute and Nadine and waiting for bus with us to prepare for Paris. I said to Ute: “I didn´t know that you are coming”. Ute replied: “yeah, Hans kept on me all the time to go Paris with him and pay everything for her – she do not need to bring money”. I was like :-o because Hans told Bertl lie front of us and what about love-bite on Bertl´s neck? I say nothing.
We saw everything about them for 4 days in Paris. We are puzzled when we saw Hans talked to Ute about house etc... and can´t wait to have her back this December because Hans & Bertl said this to us about house etc.. We said nothing. I didn´t know either Bertl knows that Ute is go with Hans or not.
One week later after our vacation in Paris, my hubby & people helped our friend Thomas with his garden work. I visited to see Thomas´s wife Alma for the chat. She told me how disappoint she is with Bertl which she thought Bertl is a dear friend. She stabbed Alma´s back etc. I told her that I can´t image that Bertl do that to her because I know from Bertl that she likes Alma alot and never say bad word about Alma. Alma told me what she knows from Hans what Bertl said bad thing to him about Alma... Alma rejected my suggestion to sort out with Bertl and said that she´s not only one who is very disappointed with Bertl but other friends, too. It look like Bertl lost friends. The people told Hans everything what Bertl trusted her problems with Hans to them. Hans defend himself against Bertl´s word and claimed that Bertl is liar etc.... He manupiated his people against Bertl. I had no good feeling about Hans. He also manipulated Bertl against his people, too. I told her that it´s wrong of people sold Bertl´s trust to Hans.
My hubby told me what Hans said to him at work that he and Bertl are not longer together. Few days later after my conversation with Alma, we met Bertl at shopping center. She look very well and happier. She chatted with us happily and tell us that she can´t wait to move new house this December & describe about room color and ask me to help her with furniture etc. She show us the things what she bought for the house. (Oh my dear, I say to myself because I know all the time since our vacation in Paris that Ute will move to live with Hans in a new house). She talked that way that she is still with Hans together. We talked about Paris etc. It look like that she didnt know that Ute went there with Hans. She told us that she is very disappointed with those people included Alma because of their betrayal her trust to Hans. She is very regret to trust wrong people etc. She was upset after learn from Hans what the people stabbed Bertl´s back... (Oh my dear, I say to myself because Alma is also UPSET about her, too after learn from Hans that Bertl stabbed Alma´s back). I really love to tell her that it´s no true but I CAN´t... I swallowed and shut my mouth and said NOTHING. I gave Bertl the example that she should sort out with those people to find out but Bertl rejected my suggestion and said to us that she would not do it because Hans said to her that she should not make move to sort out with people, it´s them who should make FIRST move. I told her that I would front things with those people when I were her. She said that she only listen Hans because she trust only him. I said NOTHING and my body got goose pimples.
On the same week after met Bertl, we saw Hans and people at beer tent (Carvinal). We watched and listen Hans stabbed Bertl´s back all the time until his last word: “We havent sleep together for 3 months”. I told him front of people that we saw love bite on Bertl´s neck one day before we leave for Paris. Hans denied my word with aggressive way that I must be blind. It´s no love bite. I give up and carried on to watch him talk bad things about her. He claimed that Bertl robbed his sperm to make her pregnant. Pregnant? How? Hans claimed that his sperm was on her stomach, then Bertl took his sperm from her stomach into her virginal. That´s how she´s pregnant. He forced her to abort their baby. bad cook etc etc etc ... lazy household etc etc... What he talked about Bertl is FULL BULL SHIT, I know because I saw myself for many years that Ute is real lazy. Bertl is very good with housework and cook because I see it myself. I said nothing but I dont understand those people who beleive Hans´s werid story. The people stared on me and my hubby when we told him what Bertl show us the things she bought for new house etc. Hans replied with nasty laugh: WHAT!!! then said to people: “I told you so” She is mental... She refused admit that I finish with her. I invited 3 girls to go outside for fresh air with me. They are happy to come with me for a walk. They repeated about Bertl and how liar Bertl is etc etc. I stopped and asked them: “Did you notice that I asked Hans about love bite”? They replied: Oh yes, is it really true? I replied: YES, I see it myself but why should I fight with Hans from the truth when Hans refused to admit it? Not worthy! That´s exactly same example what Bertl did because she dont want to fight with Hans from the truth. I also told them that I think it´s totally wrong of them to tell Hans what they know from Bertl´s problems with him. It´s unfair because Bertl need someone to talk with. They said NOTHING and admit that they had no good feeling about Hans. I give them the example what I did with Alma and Bertl is make a first move and sort things out.
Deep in my heart, I feel sorry for Bertl and want to help her but HOW????????? I´m middle between Hans and Bertl because Hans work with my hubby at work place for years... Of course, we know that Hans is an aggressive man. He abused his ex-girlfriend before met and married Ute. That´s why I gave people and Bertl the example over sort misunderstand things out then make peace again...
We lost our respect on Hans for that.
What you do when you were in my shoe?
Here is my story but it´s very sad... I have been thinking about for the weeks either I should tell Bertl the truth or not.
We know Hans and his estranged wife Ute for many years before he introduced his girlfriend Bertl of Munich (over 200 km part between her area and our area) to us last January 2004. My hubby and Hans work at same company.
Hans´s and Ute´s marriage was on the rock for a long time and they had been separated 3 times for past 15 years until last year. They love and hate each other for years. They together have a 11 years old daughter Nadine. Hans is an aggressive man. Ute can´t bear his attitude anymore and fall in love with other man through internet and left him. We thought they are serious about apply for a divorce since they went to their lawyer for a first time. Hans met Bertl few day later after Ute walked out on him. They are agree to get divorce as fast as they can then they are free for their lovers. Nadine decided to live with her Dad. Hans noticed how stress he is with Nadine since Ute left so he begged Bertl to give her good paid job in Munich up and also her appartment, too to move to live with him and Nadine permanently instead of see each other every weekends.
My friends & I suggested Bertl to not give her job and appartment up yet until she find better job in the area where we live then......................... Bertl listen Hans instead of us. This is her choice.
Well, she started her new life with Hans last 1st April in our area with no job. She stay home to look after Nadine and take care of housework and Nadine´s homework etc. Nadine alway ran to his Dad for complaint when he came home from work that Bertl is not her mother. Bertl tell her what to do... Bertl tell her to tidy things away.... etc etc etc... Hans listen Nadine´s side and against Bertl for that. He forbid Bertl to do with Nadine. Next time Bertl is withdraw and do nothing with Nadine when they are alone. She watched Nadine´s behaviour goes worst... She do housework and cook period. The teacher complaint Hans about her daughter´s poor education. Hans blamed Bertl for that. Werid isn´t he? Of course we often watch him scream on Bertl over Nadine...
Few weeks later after 1st April, I heard the rumor that Hans want to have Ute back. I can´t beleive when I heard because I know Bertl give up everything in Munich to move to live with him. I told them that the rumour must be misunderstand. We dont want to beleive this until we saw Ute & Hans together last May at 75th festival. (Hans is the chairman of Deaf Club in our area). They are closed like lovebird to neglect Bertl almost all the day. It upset Bertl totally and ran off to bathroom. It´s no good to see like this in the public. Hans replied: “What should I do with that baby cry”? We (friends) persuaded him to check with Bertl in the bathroom. Ute is sort of drunk and told us everything and said that she knows that Hans wants her but she has no love feeling for him. What she had been through etc. Hans is back from bathroom with aggressive look and call Bertl nasty names in the public and said that Bertll is mental and jealous because of harmless chat with Ute.
We stopped at Hans´s and Bertl´s appartment on our way from shopping centre one day before we went off to Paris last Sept. We thought it´s a joke when Bertl told us that she is not going to Paris with us tomorrow due her “funny impression”. Hans confirmed that she is not going because he can´t afford to pay her fare to Paris because he needs money to save up to buy thing for the house, which they will move to live a new house this December.
Next day after that, we met friends at bus station. We are like :-o when we saw Hans come to us with Ute and Nadine and waiting for bus with us to prepare for Paris. I said to Ute: “I didn´t know that you are coming”. Ute replied: “yeah, Hans kept on me all the time to go Paris with him and pay everything for her – she do not need to bring money”. I was like :-o because Hans told Bertl lie front of us and what about love-bite on Bertl´s neck? I say nothing.
We saw everything about them for 4 days in Paris. We are puzzled when we saw Hans talked to Ute about house etc... and can´t wait to have her back this December because Hans & Bertl said this to us about house etc.. We said nothing. I didn´t know either Bertl knows that Ute is go with Hans or not.
One week later after our vacation in Paris, my hubby & people helped our friend Thomas with his garden work. I visited to see Thomas´s wife Alma for the chat. She told me how disappoint she is with Bertl which she thought Bertl is a dear friend. She stabbed Alma´s back etc. I told her that I can´t image that Bertl do that to her because I know from Bertl that she likes Alma alot and never say bad word about Alma. Alma told me what she knows from Hans what Bertl said bad thing to him about Alma... Alma rejected my suggestion to sort out with Bertl and said that she´s not only one who is very disappointed with Bertl but other friends, too. It look like Bertl lost friends. The people told Hans everything what Bertl trusted her problems with Hans to them. Hans defend himself against Bertl´s word and claimed that Bertl is liar etc.... He manupiated his people against Bertl. I had no good feeling about Hans. He also manipulated Bertl against his people, too. I told her that it´s wrong of people sold Bertl´s trust to Hans.
My hubby told me what Hans said to him at work that he and Bertl are not longer together. Few days later after my conversation with Alma, we met Bertl at shopping center. She look very well and happier. She chatted with us happily and tell us that she can´t wait to move new house this December & describe about room color and ask me to help her with furniture etc. She show us the things what she bought for the house. (Oh my dear, I say to myself because I know all the time since our vacation in Paris that Ute will move to live with Hans in a new house). She talked that way that she is still with Hans together. We talked about Paris etc. It look like that she didnt know that Ute went there with Hans. She told us that she is very disappointed with those people included Alma because of their betrayal her trust to Hans. She is very regret to trust wrong people etc. She was upset after learn from Hans what the people stabbed Bertl´s back... (Oh my dear, I say to myself because Alma is also UPSET about her, too after learn from Hans that Bertl stabbed Alma´s back). I really love to tell her that it´s no true but I CAN´t... I swallowed and shut my mouth and said NOTHING. I gave Bertl the example that she should sort out with those people to find out but Bertl rejected my suggestion and said to us that she would not do it because Hans said to her that she should not make move to sort out with people, it´s them who should make FIRST move. I told her that I would front things with those people when I were her. She said that she only listen Hans because she trust only him. I said NOTHING and my body got goose pimples.
On the same week after met Bertl, we saw Hans and people at beer tent (Carvinal). We watched and listen Hans stabbed Bertl´s back all the time until his last word: “We havent sleep together for 3 months”. I told him front of people that we saw love bite on Bertl´s neck one day before we leave for Paris. Hans denied my word with aggressive way that I must be blind. It´s no love bite. I give up and carried on to watch him talk bad things about her. He claimed that Bertl robbed his sperm to make her pregnant. Pregnant? How? Hans claimed that his sperm was on her stomach, then Bertl took his sperm from her stomach into her virginal. That´s how she´s pregnant. He forced her to abort their baby. bad cook etc etc etc ... lazy household etc etc... What he talked about Bertl is FULL BULL SHIT, I know because I saw myself for many years that Ute is real lazy. Bertl is very good with housework and cook because I see it myself. I said nothing but I dont understand those people who beleive Hans´s werid story. The people stared on me and my hubby when we told him what Bertl show us the things she bought for new house etc. Hans replied with nasty laugh: WHAT!!! then said to people: “I told you so” She is mental... She refused admit that I finish with her. I invited 3 girls to go outside for fresh air with me. They are happy to come with me for a walk. They repeated about Bertl and how liar Bertl is etc etc. I stopped and asked them: “Did you notice that I asked Hans about love bite”? They replied: Oh yes, is it really true? I replied: YES, I see it myself but why should I fight with Hans from the truth when Hans refused to admit it? Not worthy! That´s exactly same example what Bertl did because she dont want to fight with Hans from the truth. I also told them that I think it´s totally wrong of them to tell Hans what they know from Bertl´s problems with him. It´s unfair because Bertl need someone to talk with. They said NOTHING and admit that they had no good feeling about Hans. I give them the example what I did with Alma and Bertl is make a first move and sort things out.
Deep in my heart, I feel sorry for Bertl and want to help her but HOW????????? I´m middle between Hans and Bertl because Hans work with my hubby at work place for years... Of course, we know that Hans is an aggressive man. He abused his ex-girlfriend before met and married Ute. That´s why I gave people and Bertl the example over sort misunderstand things out then make peace again...
We lost our respect on Hans for that.
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I'm sorry you were in such a difficult situation.