What is a bully?

coffeeeeman said:
I was a bully. Up until I was in the fifth grade I used to beat the hell out of kids just because they were smaller than me. There was one kid in particular that I used to beat up on a regular basis. His name was Charlie.

Well one day in school I noticed Charlie wasn't there. Charlie ended up not coming to school for three weeks, at the end of the third week The teacher had made an announcement to the class with the principal present. She had informed us that Charlie had passed away. No further details were provided.

I went home after school and found Charlies parents talking to mine. They sat me down and gave me the note that charlie apparently had left behind. Charlie had run away from home.

The note read:

Mom and Dad,

I love you and I will miss you. I am running away. I am tired of being picked on at school. Mike always hits me and punches me. Please sell my things and keep the money for yourself. I will get a job.

Love,

Charlie


I read the note and fear had welled up in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know what to say. How could I tell his parents I was sorry. So I ran out of the house and into the woods. I was a coward I couldn't face his parents or mine.

Later on that night I went home, and after a long beating from my father my mother came into my room told me how disgusted she was with me, Hell I was in tears I was disgusted with myself. Then I said to her when she paused for a breath, "how did Charlie die?" She told me, "Charlie died when he jumped onto a box car to stay warm. He fell asleep and never woke up because they filled the car with sawdust. They found his body when it was pulled out on a conveyer belt."


From that moment on I felt so horrible. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't hurt people. To this day I feel guilty over Charlie's death, I feel responsible. But I have done my very best to help people instead of hurting them.
Click to expand...


Wow That was some Story...It made me have Tears, I know you feel real bad about what happened to Charlie. I am sure He Forgave you. It isn't too late to visit where he is buried at and tell him how Sorry you are...*Hugs*..Time for me to Clean up my Tears here.
 
Liza said:
Never too late :) I think they will appreciate it... it takes a strong person to admit something like that.

The one I had never bothered to apologize about it.. just acted like nothing happened in high school. :ugh2: Oh ok, no need to keep on with her altho I told her I wished her all the happiness and joy in her life :)
Click to expand...
well, personally i think its too late.. because i have no clue where they live, etc.

that school is a huge school have around 1,400 students overall from 9th grade to 12th grade.

anyway i graduated in 98.. and i'm sure that kid graduated in 98 or 99. after i graduate i move far away from the school i used to attend to. and also i bet those kid moved far away too. and probally settled a new place far away. which its impossible to know where they are because this nation is 258 million people. I also don't know their names.. just remembered the way they look.. maybe they changed through time.. who knows.

that's why i feel its too late to go up to them to apoligize.. however, if i happened to see them again i would go to them and apoligize what i did to them in the past.
 
I had a bully at Jr. High In Akron, Ohio Where I went to School there as Mainstream with no Interpreters...It was hard to fit in because only a few deaf people go there (Oral) and A lots of Kids there did not like us because they felt we are different from they are. I used to get punched, Pushed in hallways, Lunch Time, In the Mornings when We get Dropped off by the Bus. For No Reason at all. I used to Cried all the time wanted to leave that School..But, My dad always tells me just ignored them. It didn't help much because no matter where I will be walking at they will come near me and hurt me., Finally One day a Girl Who name is Shannon she pushed me real hard in the Locker and hit my breast on the Lock and It hurt so bad I was so fed up with it and I turned around and Punched her in the Face gave her a bloody Nose and Of course I got in Trouble...I got Suspended along with her no matter who started it no matter how long I have suffered with the abused from them I still got in trouble but, after The Punch nobody bothered me ever again..
 
Cheri said:
I had a bully at Jr. High In Akron, Ohio Where I went to School there as Mainstream with no Interpreters...It was hard to fit in because only a few deaf people go there (Oral) and A lots of Kids there did not like us because they felt we are different from they are. I used to get punched, Pushed in hallways, Lunch Time, In the Mornings when We get Dropped off by the Bus. For No Reason at all. I used to Cried all the time wanted to leave that School..But, My dad always tells me just ignored them. It didn't help much because no matter where I will be walking at they will come near me and hurt me., Finally One day a Girl Who name is Shannon she pushed me real hard in the Locker and hit my breast on the Lock and It hurt so bad I was so fed up with it and I turned around and Punched her in the Face gave her a bloody Nose and Of course I got in Trouble...I got Suspended along with her no matter who started it no matter how long I have suffered with the abused from them I still got in trouble but, after The Punch nobody bothered me ever again..
Click to expand...


Good for you!!! Bet that made the suspension worth while though knowing you bloodied her nose.
 
bully and being a bully rarely happened to me in my life.
when i was in pre school at school for the deaf, the badly misbehaved kids stole stuffs from me, picked on me, once poured a piece of rolled paper filled with tiny ants on my head. i admit, i learned some things from them. so my mom got fed up with problems at the school then she put me in my hometown public school. when i was in first grade at public school, i was sort of still misbehaving and one time out of blue i stabbed a pencil on a tiny skinny quiet girl's leg. i didnt know why and how did i do that. i just snapped, didnt know that i did really bad thing. after i saw her crying so hard and i never did a thing like that again. so far i remember i had at least 3 bullies happened to me later in elementary, once in middle school then once in high school. they werent serious at all. im glad i went to a good school though.
 
Coffeeeman,
You gave me goosebumps.. Made me cry every minutes and got remind of my good friend who is passed away extactly simlair likely yours.. His name Donald Thompson, who is very sissy boy.. I used to be with him and nice boy ever I had. His family are weathlier and invited me all the time.. cuz He and I are same hometown in Toronto,Ontario. When I was 17 yrs old and felt unconfortable and feel funny bothers me my feet kept poking me.. I tried wake eye open and try to see what thing.. but couldn't see thing.. looks like vortex or sumth'n.. I gave it up and went back sleep. Still kept poking my feet again felt cold.. I grabbed flash light and looked around my room. I asked where r u .. stop play game on me.. but nobody in my room.. so went back sleep. Next day, I met my other good friend who known well Donald Thompson and told me He is passed away yesterday. I was fainted and shock cold hearted out. My friend pulled me up and went back home. Somehow, His parent gave me nice note from Donald Thompson. I opened and read.. cried cried... How much I understand he really truly fusterate with peers who picked on him being saying" You're fag repeatly". Donald is very naturally walks act like sissy but it's normal.. but real life he is gay of course.. High school peers are quite STUPID.. kept bully on Donald Thompson. Prinpcial asked me favor please bring this note to tell all Deaf student front of audoruim. I was lectured all everyones.. They were turned into COLD SHOULDER and shocked about Donald Thompson was passed away and gave me the note.
My teacher came and see me.. Believe that note was made "sucical". I was said.. nah.. I went over to see Donald Thompson's parent house.. and long chatting each together.. Uneasy closure about death. His parent gave me beautiful gifts and everything I was told them no thanks for graduite.. but have to accept their gifts.. Reason why, They are planning moving out of Toronto and change their lifestyles. I respect.. They told me about his son was made commint sucidal reason why gave up his life because of peers who picked on him. He hanged in the bathroom.
I was kind upsetting.. so.. I'd rather stop talk about him.. due my truly respect of my good friend's death. It's over the past.
 
Know what bothers me right now? The aspect of bullying: nitpicking - an obsession about negative things of others. For ex - you have a different idea of how things work from what others do, and you'll be painted the bad guy instead of being allowed the right to disagree and to have your own ideas. I know, you don't need permission to simply disagree nor have to explain yourself... but it's nice knowing it's ok with the other party, ya know?

Learned behavior is another problem that keeps bullying alive IMO. It takes much more courage to be willing to change that, and more. There's always unconditional support.. and an abundance of rewards! :dance:
 
DeafSCUBA98 said:
well, personally i think its too late.. because i have no clue where they live, etc.

that school is a huge school have around 1,400 students overall from 9th grade to 12th grade.

anyway i graduated in 98.. and i'm sure that kid graduated in 98 or 99. after i graduate i move far away from the school i used to attend to. and also i bet those kid moved far away too. and probally settled a new place far away. which its impossible to know where they are because this nation is 258 million people. I also don't know their names.. just remembered the way they look.. maybe they changed through time.. who knows.

that's why i feel its too late to go up to them to apoligize.. however, if i happened to see them again i would go to them and apoligize what i did to them in the past.
Click to expand...

Maybe you just have to forgive yourself? :D
 
coffeeeeman said:
I was a bully. Up until I was in the fifth grade I used to beat the hell out of kids just because they were smaller than me. There was one kid in particular that I used to beat up on a regular basis. His name was Charlie.

Well one day in school I noticed Charlie wasn't there. Charlie ended up not coming to school for three weeks, at the end of the third week The teacher had made an announcement to the class with the principal present. She had informed us that Charlie had passed away. No further details were provided.

I went home after school and found Charlies parents talking to mine. They sat me down and gave me the note that charlie apparently had left behind. Charlie had run away from home.

The note read:

Mom and Dad,

I love you and I will miss you. I am running away. I am tired of being picked on at school. Mike always hits me and punches me. Please sell my things and keep the money for yourself. I will get a job.

Love,

Charlie


I read the note and fear had welled up in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know what to say. How could I tell his parents I was sorry. So I ran out of the house and into the woods. I was a coward I couldn't face his parents or mine.

Later on that night I went home, and after a long beating from my father my mother came into my room told me how disgusted she was with me, Hell I was in tears I was disgusted with myself. Then I said to her when she paused for a breath, "how did Charlie die?" She told me, "Charlie died when he jumped onto a box car to stay warm. He fell asleep and never woke up because they filled the car with sawdust. They found his body when it was pulled out on a conveyer belt."


From that moment on I felt so horrible. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't hurt people. To this day I feel guilty over Charlie's death, I feel responsible. But I have done my very best to help people instead of hurting them.
Click to expand...

Oh Jesus, Mike...How awful! What a hard lesson for a kid to learn. And, you were just a kid. Try to remember that. Kids learn from those around them. They take cues from their environment on how to act and react. Try to realize that, and know that inspite of what may have happened, you're still a good person. The fact that you went on to try and help people speaks volumes!

On a personal note, I was the one teased as a kid. My tormenter was a girl in the 6th grade who sat next to me in class. It was odd that this girl chose me to pick on, because, she and I had similiar issues. We're both physically disabled, so I never understood why SHE was the one picking on me. But, she did. As it happened, she tormented me until the 10th grade. We both graduated, eventually. And, I would LIKE to think I'm better than her now. I don't harbor any meanness towards her, but at the same time, I hope I never see this girl again as long as I live.
 
Back
Top