What are the pros and cons of being oral or voice-off?

Anthropomorphic

Anthropomorphic

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I mentioned this in my 'Introduction' post but I figured I should probably make a post on this topic here so I could get some input from people.

I'm late deafened (known ASL and been a part of the Deaf community nearly my whole life). I recently have been becoming more uncomfortable with speaking unless it's with a few select friends, and even then I sometimes feel uncomfortable talking with them even though they know me well. I started looking around on the internet and talking to my audiologist about this and he told me that many people, even late deafened, start to feel uncomfortable with speaking because we can't hear ourselves, our pronunciation changes, our volume is hard to control, and we don't really have much inflection anymore. He said it's perfectly normal and that many people decide to become voice-off. I had been contemplating this because talking is also hard for me to do because of some medical issues I have. I know it would help with certain things, but it would also cause some trouble as well. I don't know how I would feel about having someone have to conversate with me on paper when I am capable of speaking. I already write with my friends (or sign if they know it) on the days I really just don't feel like speaking or it's extra hard for me that day. But with strangers it just seems different. I don't like people knowing that I'm deaf. No that I'm ashamed with it, but I don't like drawing attention to myself. At the same time, I feel like I'm drawing attention when I speak because of my volume control and feeling like I'm talking weird, even if I'm not. A lot of the time apparently I'll either be almost yelling, or I'll be whispering thinking I'm talking at a completely normal level.

So anyways, with that said, I wanted to know what the pros and cons were (other than the obvious) with going voice-off. Is anyone here late deafened that chose to become voice-off? I know it's more common with people who were prelingually deaf.

Thanks for any comments anyone may have.

Also, just as an fyi, I do want to be able to speak for emergency situations considering it would of course be faster to get help for someone by speaking rather than writing. And I will also possibly still speak with certain close friends most of the time (unless I'm just having a day I don't want to speak). So I won't be completely voice off, just mostly. Does anyone think this is weird, rude, or a bad idea? I've heard that this is a personal decision to make, but I still feel weird about it because I am capable of speaking most of the time.

:ty:
 
Talk to Posts From Hell....oh wait, he can't talk! Err...I mean, PM him! Lol.
 
I'm sure PFH will be coming in on this thread before long. What Sheila022 means is he has a lot to share and advise on the topic.

Although not late deafened, born deaf, mainstreamed oral-deaf, learning sign language....am also interested to know what advice would be given, as I too, am wanting to speak less and go voice-off more. Thanks for starting this thread and welcome to AD!
 
Becoming totally and profound deaf in my early teens (14), I'm still conversing by vocal and know ASL also. I've never worn a HA, and not eligible for a CI. The reason I did not stop "talking" is because I knew if I did, I would forget how, since I cannot hear myself.
My speech is understandable, even to strangers. I do get a "pardon me?" occassionally, because of my accent. And I've been conversing by vocal now for over 40 years.

If I had to do it all over again, I would go the same route, both worlds. (hearing and deaf). It's not for everyone.

Good luck with your decision.
 
Ok...

I am a voice-off guy.

The reason I made this choice is that when I was teaching ASL one of my students asked this question: Why don't deaf people sign when they interact with people in their daily lives? I was like... 'Because hearing people don't know sign'...

She rebutted with the fact that she works at a gas station and had a deaf customer that walked away after the transaction - she was yelling at him without him responding... So she was telling me how she got his attention and started signing to him etc etc..

That got me to think:
HOW do we as deaf people identify WHO knows sign language? The only way is to sign to them, really.

Benefits of going signing voice off:
People recognize you speaking a different language, not disabled.
People will adapt and do alternate methods of communication such as writing much faster than you going up to them and do the "poor me, paper and pen please"
They will apologize to YOU for not knowing your language, instead of you having to feel sorry for yourself.

Once you speak... they will expect you to be fine speaking and they will have the HARDEST time to adapt for you... its frustrating.

That is one of the reasons i have rules for my friends in place.. Like in a restaurant - I order first, no matter what. Because once they mutter 1 word, the waiter listens to them not me and i wind up having to use them as an interpreter.
 
BecLak said:
I'm sure PFH will be coming in on this thread before long. What Sheila022 means is he has a lot to share and advise on the topic.

Although not late deafened, born deaf, mainstreamed oral-deaf, learning sign language....am also interested to know what advice would be given, as I too, am wanting to speak less and go voice-off more. Thanks for starting this thread and welcome to AD!
Click to expand...

^^^^^^ Yeah that! I'm considering going voice off as well, whenever possible, so I'm curious to read the rest of this topic.
 
posts from hell said:
Ok...

I am a voice-off guy.

The reason I made this choice is that when I was teaching ASL one of my students asked this question: Why don't deaf people sign when they interact with people in their daily lives? I was like... 'Because hearing people don't know sign'...

She rebutted with the fact that she works at a gas station and had a deaf customer that walked away after the transaction - she was yelling at him without him responding... So she was telling me how she got his attention and started signing to him etc etc..

That got me to think:
HOW do we as deaf people identify WHO knows sign language? The only way is to sign to them, really.

Benefits of going signing voice off:
People recognize you speaking a different language, not disabled.
People will adapt and do alternate methods of communication such as writing much faster than you going up to them and do the "poor me, paper and pen please"
They will apologize to YOU for not knowing your language, instead of you having to feel sorry for yourself.

Once you speak... they will expect you to be fine speaking and they will have the HARDEST time to adapt for you... its frustrating.

That is one of the reasons i have rules for my friends in place.. Like in a restaurant - I order first, no matter what. Because once they mutter 1 word, the waiter listens to them not me and i wind up having to use them as an interpreter.
Click to expand...

I love how you wrote this. That is another reason I'm contemplating this. It's surprising to me how many people actually know sign. I'm not meaning fluently, but just enough. Maybe a semester or two in high school/college. Everytime I would go somewhere new where I'm meeting new people, I would always try and hide my deafness (because I'm a really good lip reader). After a little while of them getting annoyed that I'm ignoring them, I would finally tell them I'm deaf. I'm learning it's just easier to tell people early on. Not saying I should announce it to everyone, but if I notice it's someone I'm going to be talking to a lot then I'll tell them earlier. Once I do tell them, it's amazing how many people say "Oh really?! I took a year of ASL in college." or they at least know the alphabet and basic signs.

The second thing you said what one of the main reasons I'm wanting to become voice-off. Once you speak, they expect you to always speak. And in certain situations, I either don't want to, it's hard, etc. If you speak, they expect you to hear, and that's not the case. I also like what you said about the writing it down. I don't want the pity poor me write things down. I just want things to be easier when trying to communicate in the world. It's tiring being the only one trying to communicate, lip reading constantly, guessing all the time what's being said.

Thank you all for your input. I really appreciate it.
 
I'm late deaf (deaf by age 18-20) and CI implanted at age 21. I have decent speech, although I am often asked, "where are you from?" (I'm blonde with blue eyes, so naturally I enjoy telling people I'm from Japan). Anyway, I would say I'm 60/40 (60% voice off, 40% voice on) in public and 100% voice off at home. I use my voice when I feel like it and depending on the situation.

I don't think you have to make a choice between being "voice on" or "voice off". Being late deaf is part of who you are. Sometimes you will feel like using your voice other times (perhaps more often than not) you will prefer to be voice off.

Being "voice on" and "voice off" both have their pros and cons. I think the other AD members already covered that pretty well.

For now, why not just do what you feel like when you feel like it? You can play around with it a little and see what best suits you. With time you might naturally gravitate to being more "voice on" or more "voice off". Or perhaps you will stay somewhere in the middle.

Just do what feels right to you and don't feel forced to communicate in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.
 
Anthropomorphic said:
I love how you wrote this. That is another reason I'm contemplating this. It's surprising to me how many people actually know sign. I'm not meaning fluently, but just enough. Maybe a semester or two in high school/college. Everytime I would go somewhere new where I'm meeting new people, I would always try and hide my deafness (because I'm a really good lip reader). After a little while of them getting annoyed that I'm ignoring them, I would finally tell them I'm deaf. I'm learning it's just easier to tell people early on. Not saying I should announce it to everyone, but if I notice it's someone I'm going to be talking to a lot then I'll tell them earlier. Once I do tell them, it's amazing how many people say "Oh really?! I took a year of ASL in college." or they at least know the alphabet and basic signs.

The second thing you said what one of the main reasons I'm wanting to become voice-off. Once you speak, they expect you to always speak. And in certain situations, I either don't want to, it's hard, etc. If you speak, they expect you to hear, and that's not the case. I also like what you said about the writing it down. I don't want the pity poor me write things down. I just want things to be easier when trying to communicate in the world. It's tiring being the only one trying to communicate, lip reading constantly, guessing all the time what's being said.

Thank you all for your input. I really appreciate it.
Click to expand...
Your first paragraph is true. There are a lot of people with familiarity of sign language. They won't come to you because thats silly. When you go to them and need their help - they will use their sign skills. I appreciate it so much, however little they know. But if they know ONE, that means they are prepared to gesture and have fun with it.
 
SeaJenSurf said:
I'm late deaf (deaf by age 18-20) and CI implanted at age 21. I have decent speech, although I am often asked, "where are you from?" (I'm blonde with blue eyes, so naturally I enjoy telling people I'm from Japan). Anyway, I would say I'm 60/40 (60% voice off, 40% voice on) in public and 100% voice off at home. I use my voice when I feel like it and depending on the situation.

I don't think you have to make a choice between being "voice on" or "voice off". Being late deaf is part of who you are. Sometimes you will feel like using your voice other times (perhaps more often than not) you will prefer to be voice off.

Being "voice on" and "voice off" both have their pros and cons. I think the other AD members already covered that pretty well.

For now, why not just do what you feel like when you feel like it? You can play around with it a little and see what best suits you. With time you might naturally gravitate to being more "voice on" or more "voice off". Or perhaps you will stay somewhere in the middle.

Just do what feels right to you and don't feel forced to communicate in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Click to expand...

Thank you. That is a good idea. I keep thinking I need to be mostly on or mostly off because I'm worried about the other people. They might get confused, or not understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. But it shouldn't be about them. It should be about me and what I'm comfortable with. So thank you.
 
Anthropomorphic said:
Thank you. That is a good idea. I keep thinking I need to be mostly on or mostly off because I'm worried about the other people. They might get confused, or not understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. But it shouldn't be about them. It should be about me and what I'm comfortable with. So thank you.
Click to expand...

Yup
 
posts from hell said:
Your first paragraph is true. There are a lot of people with familiarity of sign language. They won't come to you because thats silly. When you go to them and need their help - they will use their sign skills. I appreciate it so much, however little they know. But if they know ONE, that means they are prepared to gesture and have fun with it.
Click to expand...

Exactly. I've noticed the people who have even the smallest understanding of sign are much more willing to learn more. Where as the people who don't know any sign at all usually say it's a waste of time and would rather I just lip read and speak. It's a good way of picking through your real friends as well. If they aren't willing to learn, or at least understand a little bit of your language, then they probably aren't worth it. What's the point of having one person do all the work to communicate in that relationship.
 
posts from hell said:
Ok...

I am a voice-off guy.

The reason I made this choice is that when I was teaching ASL one of my students asked this question: Why don't deaf people sign when they interact with people in their daily lives? I was like... 'Because hearing people don't know sign'...

She rebutted with the fact that she works at a gas station and had a deaf customer that walked away after the transaction - she was yelling at him without him responding... So she was telling me how she got his attention and started signing to him etc etc..

That got me to think:
HOW do we as deaf people identify WHO knows sign language? The only way is to sign to them, really.

Benefits of going signing voice off:
People recognize you speaking a different language, not disabled.
People will adapt and do alternate methods of communication such as writing much faster than you going up to them and do the "poor me, paper and pen please"
They will apologize to YOU for not knowing your language, instead of you having to feel sorry for yourself.

Once you speak... they will expect you to be fine speaking and they will have the HARDEST time to adapt for you... its frustrating.

That is one of the reasons i have rules for my friends in place.. Like in a restaurant - I order first, no matter what. Because once they mutter 1 word, the waiter listens to them not me and i wind up having to use them as an interpreter.
Click to expand...

:ty: PFH.

It is interesting with my kids (especially the younger ones - ages 7 and 10) for example, when I sign something to them, at first, if it is a sign they don't know, they will respond with a 'Huh?? I can't understand you'. I will then repeat the sign or phrase (still voice off)....they try to figure it out....if that fails, I switch to SSS and speak as I sign. The next time I communciate with them using that sign, they will sign back in response voice off (my 7 year old figured out that you sign voice off , completely on his own, he said as much himself without my telling him anything) :D
 
FYI, I don't SEE, I SSS. When I translate the signs for my children, I speak fluent English, but I sign in Sign Language syntax. The kids figure out what each individual sign means and if they don't know they will ask me. But to the public, if I use sign, I don't bother to 'translate'. I go totally voice off. It is either/or. Purely voice or voice off not SSS.
 
At the same time, I feel like I'm drawing attention when I speak because of my volume control and feeling like I'm talking weird, even if I'm not. A lot of the time apparently I'll either be almost yelling, or I'll be whispering thinking I'm talking at a completely normal leve
Click to expand...
Excellent post. That is exactly why I think that oral only is not exactly the best option in the world for many people. I have been admoninished far too many times to count b/c my voice is too loud!
It does seem that most dhh as kids folks code switch. Meaning they'll use speech sometimes and use Sign other times.
 
I did not post in this thread because i thought it was one that was best left for the deaf/Deaf to share their values and beliefs in, along with their reasons for having developed those values. But I must say, I was very pleased when i came back into read at the generous way this thread has progressed and the productive manner the discussion has taken. Way to go guys. I am just hoping that a couple of posters don't come in and ruin the productiveness.:wave:
 
Actually, it would be nice to hear from a hearing person's perspective. (Which I take you're hearing from the post above.)

How do you view people who are voice-off, oral, sign/voice-off, etc. Do you find it to be more of a struggle to have to write things down. If you knew someone was capable of speaking but they had made a decision to become voice-off, would you feel like you wouldn't want to write things down or find other ways of communicating because they CAN talk, they just don't. I know each person is different, but I've never really asked any hearing people about this, other than my close friends.
 
PFH, thank you for the great answer. You are sooo right. Thanks also for the tip about ordering first, a long time problem solved.
 
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