What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learnt from your past relationships?

Jasmine4lakshmi said:
You are right. When there is a fight amongst a couple, whatever happens or is says, leave at that fight, never carry it with you in the future.
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Indeed. Sometime things are better being left unsaid. :)
 
-I've learned that I cant make her happy...only she can DO something to make herself happy, like all of us.

-Dont ever look at porn when your partner is feeling uncomfortable about it. >.>

-Dont bring "double standard" crap into relationships.

Hmmm...thats about it.
 
You shouldn't "change" or expect someone to unless it's something such as a bad habit or some other trivial thing. If you're incompatible you're deluding yourself if you think that changing will make everything magical and happy.
 
The hardest thing i learned was - Its easy to get hurt and not easy to get over it. Your lover can always find a way to hurt you, and its not easy not to share. it doesnt matter if you have a one night stand or a 6 month relationship, or married for life. It always hurt when someone dont talk to you and just finger point using your flaws as a way to win a arguement. It's so much easier just to let things go and try to see things from thier point of view, even if you think they are wrong. There MUST be a reason why they think so.
 
Two mistakes I had:

** Sure, he's bright and sweet but dating a someone who was not able to communation (sp) because his reading & writing level is very low. I didnt want to reply on VP all the time... it was pretty annoying for me.
** 1) I wish I should make up my mind and work out together, and not listening the crappy gossip. Ugh, they were so good at... well, at the least, I got out of the HS. :P 2) I also wish I should not date this person, due to religious argument. =/ Sighs.

EDIT: A few advices here... Just make sure that someone can understand you so easy and you can understand him or her so easy, a communication is the key. Secondly, you should tell people to keep out of your relationship and TRY TO NOT bring an argument on beliefs if you can't handle it. :)

I don't know if my advices are good enough. Mmm..
 
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KarissaMann05 said:
Two mistakes I had:

** Sure, he's bright and sweet but dating a someone who was not able to communation (sp) because his reading & writing level is very low. I didnt want to reply on VP all the time... it was pretty annoying for me.
** 1) I wish I should make up and work out together, and not listening the crappy gossip. Ugh, they were so good at... well, at the least, I got out of the HS. :P 2) I also wish I should not date this person, due to religious argument. =/ Sighs.

EDIT: A few advices here... Just make sure that someone can understand you so easy and you can understand him or her so easy, a communication is the key. Secondly, you should tell people to keep out of your relationship and TRY TO NOT bring an argument on beliefs if you can't handle. :)

I don't know if my advices are good enough. Mmm..
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No its good enough. communication is always important especially when it comes to understanding your partner and such so it shows they respect eachother and all. Trust is definetly one of the most important keys in the relationship thou.
 
Steel X said:
No its good enough. communication is always important especially when it comes to understanding your partner and such so it shows they respect eachother and all. Trust is definetly one of the most important keys in the relationship thou.
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Ok, good. Glad to know :) Thanks

Oh, yes, I heartily agreed about trust. I forget that one, again, thanks for reminder :)
 
One: Don't date guys that is unsure of his sexuality! I dated this guy for four years in my HS and I thought he was straight, so did he....and then he dumped me my saying, "Hey I think I'm gay....I'm not sure but I'll get back to you after I date couple guys."

Two: Don't date guys that needs anger management....I dated a football player and my parents loved him...but when he gets angry, it gets pretty scary as he punches things like wall or the mirror.... That can lead to abuse. So I dump him

Three: Don't date guys because your parents loves him....You have to love him, not your parent's choice b/c they think he's wonderful and all that.
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:
One: Don't date guys that is unsure of his sexuality! I dated this guy for four years in my HS and I thought he was straight, so did he....and then he dumped me my saying, "Hey I think I'm gay....I'm not sure but I'll get back to you after I date couple guys."

Two: Don't date guys that needs anger management....I dated a football player and my parents loved him...but when he gets angry, it gets pretty scary as he punches things like wall or the mirror.... That can lead to abuse. So I dump him

Three: Don't date guys because your parents loves him....You have to love him, not your parent's choice b/c they think he's wonderful and all that.
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I've seen that happen before. I knew a guy who was always chasing women, but always kept his distance... kind like teasing a baby with a lollypop.
 
VamPyroX said:
I've seen that happen before. I knew a guy who was always chasing women, but always kept his distance... kind like teasing a baby with a lollypop.
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that kind of an behavior from people is NOT funny.
 
diehardbiker said:
Never again with PTSD! This is the hardest lesson I have learn. These people with PTSD have unstable predictions.

Second, I should have wait and take time.

Now, I am ok at least and not with PTSD freaks.
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<ouch> Yes I agree that PTSD adds certain wrinkles into a relationship but they are not insurmountable. My girlfriend and I both suffer from pretty severe PTSD but luckily for us our love goes beyond our PTSD symptoms. I'm sorry you've had such negative experiences that you have called off all PTSD folks.
 
I agree with several posters that communication is key. Successful communication is key.
 
Things I've learnt:

1. If you are snogging someone. Then they suddenly get up and say "Oh by the way I've got a girlfriend" It's best just to grab your things and go. Don't waste any more time with this person.

2. If they treat others around them badly (wether an animal, a child or another adult) they are just as likely to treat you badly too. Given the chance.

3. If they go out of their way to hid you from all their friends/family there is something going on that you should know about.

4. People can have sex with you even if they are just about to dump you. It's not neccesary a sign of affection.

5. Don't change to suit anybody else. If you are not apreciated just the way you are, then it's time to move on. If you do, they will just move on to something else that they think needs changing too.

6. If someone starts hitting you, that's the signal to get the hell out. It doesn't matter if they start being nice to you again. If they start on that path, it's only going to get worse.

7. Don't move in with someone unless you are sure you are compatable. Otherwise you might end up on the street.

7.

4.
 
As far as learning from relationships in the past which includes my failed marriage - - I learned that good looks and good sex are not everything. And I learned most all hearing people suck because no matter what they say as far as understanding the hearing impairment, in the heat of the moment, they always end up making fun of me and using my hearing impairment against me in some way!
 
Something positive I learned is that there are things I love now that I never had previous interest in. It's also pretty cool to have a spouse that enjoys some of your passions- isn't afraid to try new things either.
 
be willing to compromise and be able to try meet halfway - a lesson for me to always remember for the rest of my life
 
never try to date someone who has power trip.

never try to change someone else unless you are willing to change yourself first.

and never ever ever hit anybody.. doesnt matter if ur a girl and it was just a light frustrated type of hit on someone's arm... it just opens a door to abusive relationship because some people will not react to that very well.

and TAKE YOUR TIME TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE JUMP IN THE RELATIONSHIP!!!!!! i took time with my current boyfriend.. we have been friends for 4 years before we started to date and now its going great.. better than most of my relationships in the past in their beginning stage. (except for my first boyfriend in high school lol)

compromise and always try to put yourself in their shoes first before u start to accuse or assume :)

oh yea and ofc communication is the key!
 
Hmm this is a good one.
1. Make sure they know you’re deaf before you spend the first night in bed with them. My wife will not let me live this down.
2. Never say anything about how many shoes they have in there closet.
3. Commutation is they key even if she will get mad.
4. I’m always wrong and she is always right when it comes to financial stuff.
5. I can never have too many cattle.
6. When you compromise with a women its 40 60; the more women in your house the less you will have.
7. You can live without drama in your life and it will be healthier.
8. People don’t change no mater how hard you try.
 
If you get smitten by a girl, don't fall for her sweet charms and get carried away! Be smart, and make smart moves in a relationship. Sometimes, a little bit of conservatism is really good too!! Key to success - trust. Also, long distance never works as long as you don't want it to work; at least it never worked for me.

 
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