Today is the day...

shel90 said:
Tell your aunt that the farm is not your lifelong career dream!

I dont blame you about not wanting to be stuck at a dead end job for the rest of your life. That was how I felt after working 3 years at Farmer's Insurance. I saw no future for me so I got the hell out of there to go back to school full time at 23 years old. It meant losing $2,000 a month in salary to $0 a month which was a lot of money to a 23 year old. A big big big gamble and I dont regret it.

Follow your heart and take the risks. They will pay off in the long run.

:hug:
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If I really followed my heart, I would just quit right now and go tomorrow to take out student loans and enroll in uni full-time. But here's the problems:
1. If I did that, I would be burning family. I don't want to do that. Once you cross my aunt, you can count yourself finished.
2. My parents would probably tell me either get a job or get out.
3. I need a job so I can pay my bills. My parents wouldn't help out with my bills I don't think. To them, it would be sink or swim.

I honestly feel like I can't get anywhere. I really can't get a better job anywhere without that degree because a lot of my job history involves physical labor and not many people would think I could make it in an office setting with M-F 9-5 operating hours for better pay and so forth.

I just wish I could get my family behind me to support me on what I want to do. But I can forget it. I'll have to do it on my own.

I get a bit jealous when I see other girls who are are my age and they are in the same situation I'm in, and their parents help them by paying their utilities for them or paying their rent on their apartment or making their car payments while they go to school full-time. Me? I don't get that option. I don't get that option at all.

I would like to be able to go to school full-time on student loan and grants. Work part-time and have money left over for bills and not have to decide if I want to heat the apartment or do I want to eat this week?
 
Dixie said:
If I really followed my heart, I would just quit right now and go tomorrow to take out student loans and enroll in uni full-time. But here's the problems:
1. If I did that, I would be burning family. I don't want to do that. Once you cross my aunt, you can count yourself finished.
2. My parents would probably tell me either get a job or get out.
3. I need a job so I can pay my bills. My parents wouldn't help out with my bills I don't think. To them, it would be sink or swim.

I honestly feel like I can't get anywhere. I really can't get a better job anywhere without that degree because a lot of my job history involves physical labor and not many people would think I could make it in an office setting with M-F 9-5 operating hours for better pay and so forth.

I just wish I could get my family behind me to support me on what I want to do. But I can forget it. I'll have to do it on my own.

I get a bit jealous when I see other girls who are are my age and they are in the same situation I'm in, and their parents help them by paying their utilities for them or paying their rent on their apartment or making their car payments while they go to school full-time. Me? I don't get that option. I don't get that option at all.

I would like to be able to go to school full-time on student loan and grants. Work part-time and have money left over for bills and not have to decide if I want to heat the apartment or do I want to eat this week?
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Have some courage. Would your aunt still burn you if you're well-off now with better job and better salary that would take your aunt couple years to make what you make in a year plus 3-weeks paid vacation?

Take a calculated risk.
 
Jiro said:
Have some courage. Would your aunt still burn you if you're well-off now with better job and better salary that would take your aunt couple years to make what you make in a year plus 3-weeks paid vacation?

Take a calculated risk.
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She OWNS the poultry farm. She makes more in one quarter than what I get paid from her all year. I doubt I would ever earn more than what she makes.

She even went so far as to tell me:
"We don't get time off from the farm, so there no need for you to get time off either!" I just kind of chuckled it off when really it bothered me. It's almost like she's also upset that she can't get away from the farm either.

Maybe I'm just easily kind of shoved into doing things no one else wants to do and I quietly set aside my own desires to please everyone else for the sake of keeping them happy.
 
Dixie said:
She OWNS the poultry farm. She makes more in one quarter than what I get paid from her all year. I doubt I would ever earn more than what she makes.

She even went so far as to tell me:
"We don't get time off from the farm, so there no need for you to get time off either!" I just kind of chuckled it off when really it bothered me. It's almost like she's also upset that she can't get away from the farm either.

Maybe I'm just easily kind of shoved into doing things no one else wants to do and I quietly set aside my own desires to please everyone else for the sake of keeping them happy.
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this is how I see it - yes I know she makes a lot of money since she owns a farm but look at restaurant owners too. I have several friends who own restaurants. They all make 6-figures and yet... they work like a dog. no vacation. very very hard labor job.

What I meant is that in white collar job (assuming that you'll end up working for USDA or Tyson management office), you'll be making good money and have typically 2-3 weeks paid vacation. and then you put in enough years to collect pension fund after retirement. In that sense, you're actually making more than her in terms of "Less Work, More Pay".

I'm very antagonistic to old way - work hard now and relax all day when you retire but..... what the hell can I do when I'm too old and broken to enjoy life? I hate golf, cruise ship, and beach. That's why I took a calculated risk to do what I had to do and I did it. Now I get to sit back in my private office (not cubicle) and put up my feet on table.
 
If it were a company like Walmart or Tyson or something like that, if I knew there was better opportunities, I would be more likely to go knowing that in a large company like that, the bosses don't care if you leave for greener pastures elsewhere. They just train the next guy in line for the job.

I have no desire to work in management in Tyson, I just need the job for now to go to school. Besides supervisors get treated like dogs by the upper management. They put up with more BS than they should. If you want to move up to upper management, you have to be cutthroat all the way. Stab a few people in the back, do some 'favors' for some people in the office, make sure you have pull as a supervisor and that your name is known to upper management for what they think is good things only. That's how you move up in Tyson.
 
Dixie said:
If it were a company like Walmart or Tyson or something like that, if I knew there was better opportunities, I would be more likely to go knowing that in a large company like that, the bosses don't care if you leave for greener pastures elsewhere. They just train the next guy in line for the job.

I have no desire to work in management in Tyson, I just need the job for now to go to school. Besides supervisors get treated like dogs by the upper management. They put up with more BS than they should. If you want to move up to upper management, you have to be cutthroat all the way. Stab a few people in the back, do some 'favors' for some people in the office, make sure you have pull as a supervisor and that your name is known to upper management for what they think is good things only. That's how you move up in Tyson.
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ok then USDA or some government agency.
 
Jiro said:
ok then USDA or some government agency.
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You can easily make twice as much as a supervisor for USDA than what you would as a supervisor in Tyson. Plus less BS to put up with. You also work with smaller groups usually. Like for the Tyson supervisors, you have a group of about 20 people plus 2 leads to take care of. With USDA it's about 8-10 people and no leads to take care of. If there's a squabble, you deal with it, document it, and move on. Whereas at Tyson, you may or may not get wrote up by a specific supervisor, but you can drag it out as long as you want or until the person you're after gets fired or quits.
 
Dixie said:
You can easily make twice as much as a supervisor for USDA than what you would as a supervisor in Tyson. Plus less BS to put up with. You also work with smaller groups usually. Like for the Tyson supervisors, you have a group of about 20 people plus 2 leads to take care of. With USDA it's about 8-10 people and no leads to take care of. If there's a squabble, you deal with it, document it, and move on. Whereas at Tyson, you may or may not get wrote up by a specific supervisor, but you can drag it out as long as you want or until the person you're after gets fired or quits.
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there you go :)

take a calculated risk and aim for it. you've already put up with this far too long. you've already used that excuses too many time to not take a risk. enough's enough. time for change! omg I'm turning into Obama :lol:
 
Jiro said:
there you go :)

take a calculated risk and aim for it. you've already put up with this far too long. you've already used that excuses too many time to not take a risk. enough's enough. time for change! omg I'm turning into Obama :lol:
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Dont make me call you Jirobama! :laugh2:

I know I want change, but I feel like I'm stuck and can't bring about the change I want.

I just wish I didn't have to risk losing my farm job just because I'm looking at getting on at Tyson.

Isn't it a good idea to NOT tell your boss you are looking for another job until you have another job secured?

Isn't it a good idea to NOT burn family in case you need to rely on them in the future. I do know there's a good chance that if I leave the farm there's no going back for a long long time. So if I don't make it through my first 90 days, I'm screwed.
 
Dixie said:
Isn't it a good idea to NOT tell your boss you are looking for another job until you have another job secured?
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nobody tells their boss that they're looking for another job. that's crazy lol. you only need to give them a 2-weeks notice AFTER you secured a job (depending on your work policy).

use your vacation/sick/personal day to go to job interviews.

Dixie said:
Isn't it a good idea to NOT burn family in case you need to rely on them in the future. I do know there's a good chance that if I leave the farm there's no going back for a long long time. So if I don't make it through my first 90 days, I'm screwed.
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that's why you'll have to take a calculated risk but have some courage too. I'm all about family but since you're not getting any respect and support for all these hard work you put in.... well what can I say? fuck'em! :lol:

and you better make sure you succeed in the end or you'll look like a damn fool. how's that for a motivation to succeed? :lol:
 
Jiro said:
nobody tells their boss that they're looking for another job. that's crazy lol. you only need to give them a 2-weeks notice AFTER you secured a job (depending on your work policy).

use your vacation/sick/personal day to go to job interviews.


that's why you'll have to take a calculated risk but have some courage too. I'm all about family but since you're not getting any respect and support for all these hard work you put in.... well what can I say? fuck'em! :lol:

and you better make sure you succeed in the end or you'll look like a damn fool. how's that for a motivation to succeed? :lol:
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That's just the thing Jiro, I don't get sick/vacation/personal days to do this. I told my aunt I have an appointment with the audiologist on Wednesday. She said that's fine, but we will dock your pay. If I say I am at the audie's then I had better had proof I was there. If I'm caught out messing around - I'm in for a huge butt chewing.

I get no holidays, no vacation, nothing, nada.

As for looking like a damn fool, I'm taking it you watch 'Red' on 'That 70's Show', right? Sounds like something the character would say, LOL.
 
Dixie said:
That's just the thing Jiro, I don't get sick/vacation/personal days to do this. I told my aunt I have an appointment with the audiologist on Wednesday. She said that's fine, but we will dock your pay. If I say I am at the audie's then I had better had proof I was there. If I'm caught out messing around - I'm in for a huge butt chewing.

I get no holidays, no vacation, nothing, nada.
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I thought so. I was gonna mention - "if not... you'll have to do it under cloak and dagger and be dang careful!" kill the witness too :lol:

Dixie said:
As for looking like a damn fool, I'm taking it you watch 'Red' on 'That 70's Show', right? Sounds like something the character would say, LOL.
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I don't watch that show but I watch it sometimes to fantasize over Mila Kunis
 
Jiro said:
I thought so. I was gonna mention - "if not... you'll have to do it under cloak and dagger and be dang careful!" kill the witness too :lol:


I don't watch that show but I watch it sometimes to fantasize over Mila Kunis
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Mila Kunis was nice back in the day. Don't know what she's up to now though.

I think what I may do is just go to the Audie's office on Wednesday. If she says I would benefit from HAs, then I will get pricing on the ones that will benefit me the most. I can then go back to my aunt and explain the situation to her. I will tell her that I need the insurance from Tyson to help cover the cost of the HAs, I will need a day off to get this done, if at all possible I will take a night shift position to stay on the farm until Tom's back is repaired and the doctor OK's for him to return to work on the farm. When he's released, I can try to re-enroll in uni and go to school on the money I would be saving, and take out student loans if necessary. But finishing school is one of my lifelong goals.
 
Dixie said:
Mila Kunis was nice back in the day. Don't know what she's up to now though.

I think what I may do is just go to the Audie's office on Wednesday. If she says I would benefit from HAs, then I will get pricing on the ones that will benefit me the most. I can then go back to my aunt and explain the situation to her. I will tell her that I need the insurance from Tyson to help cover the cost of the HAs, I will need a day off to get this done, if at all possible I will take a night shift position to stay on the farm until Tom's back is repaired and the doctor OK's for him to return to work on the farm. When he's released, I can try to re-enroll in uni and go to school on the money I would be saving, and take out student loans if necessary. But finishing school is one of my lifelong goals.
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do whatever it takes to reach to your goal.
 
Dixie I say go for it. I am also a single Momma. I have two jobs, home school my kids, and am working on going to school in the new year. It is very hard, but itI can beI done. We have to have courage to make these changes. I used to worry about it, but realized nothing will get better if I don't do something about it. Your aunt should respects you for doing what you can to makes things better for you, and your child. It is not your fault she can't help leave the farm. You have to be able to go to appointments. I understand wanting to sit her down, and explain your plans. If she is going to hold that against you though I wouldn't want to tell her either. There are many opportunities out there. Don't believe the foolishness of others. I am praying that you get a job that suits you, and you can achieve your goals.
 
Dixie, any chance for job-sharing on the farm? Can you afford to work fewer hours (for the short-term)? If so, maybe you can find someone who'd be willing to work the day(s) you don't until you find another job.
 
Just thought of something! What time is your audiologist appointment in relation to when they hand out the Tyson applications? Could you do both on the same day? Thus, having to only take the one day off and you would have something from the audiologist to show your aunt.
 
Dixie, I know it feels like it would be nice to just get handed the things you need, and it's tough to struggle. But those who are always handed what they generally turn into ungrateful princesses who smash their car and expect daddy to buy them a new one.

You work hard to support yourself and your child. Many young women who have children young don't realize how much harder it will be to do anything once the baby comes; especially if they have to do it alone. School is much harder to complete while trying to take care of a baby and paying the bills - but without it you often have to take what comes your way job-wise.

This above is NOT a criticism of you, btw - but a warning to other young women. I admire you doing what you need to for you and your daughter. It sounds so hard and unrelenting. I truly hope you find something else so you get some independence, and are able to get to a safe distance so you can stick your tongue out at your aunt!
 
My aunt doesn't believe in job sharing. My appointment for the Audie is at 12:30. It takes an hour and a half to get there from here. The the unemployment office is 45 minutes the opposite direction. I thought if I could get up in the wee hours and go down there and stand in line hoping for an application for Tyson-Dardanelle. It can take a while. If I leave to the Audie from there I need to be out no later than 10:00 am. I would have to ask them to schedule the Tyson interview late in the day around 3:30 or 4:00 so it will give me leeway in case they ate running behind or if it takes longer than expected. I don't want to sticky tongue at my aunt, she raised a kid on her own and went through 5 marriages before finally finding the one. I have to respect that. Plus if I did it and she thought I did it to spite, I can forget ever going back to the farm if things bottom out again like they did last year, which is how I ended up on the farm to begin with. I think a conversation with her explaining my plans might do it especially if I tell her I need insurance to help pay for HAs. I dont want to screw things up tomorrow trying to do too much in one day. If distance wasnt a factor, it would be totally doable.
 
good luck dixie.. hope things go well for you in end.. and u are alone.. I don't work much hours my work cut my hours.. so I'm just trying to find 2nd job to keep me sane.. lately I am out of my own mind but I finally quit games on facebook cuz too much for me.. lol but do I miss games? no I don't ;) but I'm coming back to alldeaf.com so I can check whatever is up here once in a while.. :)
 
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