Taking pictures at funerals

[Peachy Lady]

I never liked the idea of taking pictures of dead person in coffin. My aunt took picture of my grandma in her coffin and she showed it to me. I ended up crying cuz I wanted to think of her being alive with good memories instead of seeing her dead in her coffin. I did go to grandma's funeral and saw her in coffin, but don't want to be reminded what she looked like in coffin by looking at pictures of her dead. It's everyone different opinions...but for me, no. I prefer keeping good memories in my head and heart of good times.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I never liked the idea of taking pictures of dead person in coffin. My aunt took picture of my grandma in her coffin and she showed it to me. I ended up crying cuz I wanted to think of her being alive with good memories instead of seeing her dead in her coffin. I did go to grandma's funeral and saw her in coffin, but don't want to be reminded what she looked like in coffin by looking at pictures of her dead. It's everyone different opinions...but for me, no. I prefer keeping good memories in my head and heart of good times.

Yes I can image how you feel after see the picture of your dead Grandma.. It´s scary... I´m agree with you to keep good memories in mind and heart is the best...

 

[Levonian]

Personally, I find it kind of creepy. But then again, I find the entire notion of open-casket viewing to be bizarrely anachronistic. But I don’t see anything inherently wrong with it—if somebody feels that they want a picture of their deceased loved one to remember them by, then there’s nothing wrong with them taking one. I see it as being a matter of personal choice.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Personally, I find it kind of creepy. But then again, I find the entire notion of open-casket viewing to be bizarrely anachronistic. But I don’t see anything inherently wrong with it—if somebody feels that they want a picture of their deceased loved one to remember them by, then there’s nothing wrong with them taking one. I see it as being a matter of personal choice.

Hooray! I'm NOT the only one who is grossed out by the notion of open caskets!!

Truth be told, the whole idea of it just is, well, creepy!

As for the whole picture taking thing, I agree with you on that as well. It's not necessarily "wrong", but it's certainly NOT something I'd want done at MY funeral. In fact, I've told my loved ones that when it's my time to go, just cremate me, and hold a memorial service. They can put a pre-taken picture of me up in rememberance of me, if they want to. However, I absolutely DO NOT want anybody gawking at me during an open casket viewing!

 

[Levonian]

However, I absolutely DO NOT want anybody gawking at me during an open casket viewing!

Personally, I couldn’t care less if they could propped me up on my hands and knees in the casket, pulled my pants down, stuck carnations in my butt, and posted the pics on the Internet—after all, I’m dead.

On second thought, maybe I’ll just sell that plot at Forest Lawn and be cremated instead. I wouldn’t put anything past my wife…

 

[Reba]

I think it is totally up to the immediate family to decide, and then their wishes should be respected. If they do take pictures, they should be kept for private use only, and not put on websites or sold for publication.

I don't want to do it but if it comforts other people, then let them do it without criticism.

I can understand how a mom might want remembrances from a dead newborn or stillborn baby. She might not have any "living" pictures, and she wants to acknowledge the existance, however brief, of her child.

 

[downing]

this is interesting thread... i think it probably started long time ago.. remmy there was a photo of a open casket of abraham lincoln even he was assisanted (sp?)...

it varies and i agree with Liebing.... neutral on this issue.... i did not vote though.

 

[Levonian]

this is interesting thread... i think it probably started long time ago..

I’ve always been told that open casket viewing is a barbaric throwback to ancient Roman Catholic burial rites. But I’ve seen a lot of people derive comfort from one last look at their loved one before the eternal dirt nap. When my sister’s husband died, she spent about 45 minutes alone with him after everybody had left. My mother and I waited patiently in the car, as it seemed to be vital to her psychological wellbeing that she have that opportunity to say goodbye. On the other hand, my wife’s mother was traumatized as a child by an open casket funeral. It was her father, and they forced her to kiss him ‘goodbye’. She has never attended a funeral since—she simply refuses to go to them. So what may be beneficial for some people may be unpleasant and repulsive for others.

 

[Opal]

my wife’s mother was traumatized as a child by an open casket funeral. It was her father, and they forced her to kiss him ‘goodbye’.

My father persuaded me to kiss my Mother in her open casket but I refused, he was terrible disappointed with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Beowulf]

When my pet flea, Spot, lay in repose in his gold casket, I didn't mind pics being taken. I mean, heck, it required a magnifying glass to view the results, so it was each person's conscious choice whether to be repulsed or not.

 

[Nancy]

I am neutral of the idea of taking photos of the deceased......I think the family should keep the photos as a personal items, not to be put up on website or the Internet, or even in papers for the public to see.

I never knew my grandfather (My Dad's father), but when he died in 1970 or 1971, my parents and the rest of the family were there at his funeral....they took photos of him laying in a casket. I saw the photos myself, and perhaps it is comforting for the family to have a photo of him dead? But my mother told me that she would rather remember him and other people who had died when they were "alive" though. With the family and it is a personal photo item, that's ok - it's private.

On the other hand, I have seen morgue photos of Marilyn Monroe, Harvey Lee Oswald, Bonnie and Clyde, John Dilliger, and other people on the Internet. I have posted elsewhere in AD about the dead photos I've seen....anyway, I don't understand why the photographers have any interest in taking pictures of them dead and then put them out in public's view. They are still people (the dead celebrities and gangsters), and I think it is disrespectful of having their photos taken when dead just like the rest of the "little people" who had died.

 

[CODAchild]

:-o I voted no myself. When my foster son was 4 years old, he was still living with his grandmother (adopted mom). Her second oldest daughter was murdered, she had been hit over the head with a cloth bag filled with bricks. She asked me to take care of Tiger during all the preparation, which I so gladly did. She was very upset that I didn't take Tiger to the wake, and reason being , he was too young! When I brought Tiger home, his grandmother had taken pictures of her daughter in the casket, and showed them to Tiger. The picture was upsetting because she was all swollen, and it didn't look like her at all. I was so upset that she showed Tiger these pictures, and I could see it scared him, because this is not his Aunt that he remembered, luckily, I had a picture of her with Tiger and his brothers, and gave that to Tiger so he wouldn't be so upset anymore.
No, it is very disrespectful to take pictures of the dead. We need to remember them the way they were, not like that.

 

[Opal]

Did you know?

There are some photos taken of Princess Di and Dodi in Paris Tunnel car crash, as there is NO photos revealed to the world !!

Only we allow to see pictures of the wreck car as it is.

 

[Levonian]

When my pet flea, Spot, lay in repose in his gold casket, I didn't mind pics being taken.

NOOOOOOO!!! Not poor little Spot! He was so young and had so much to live for!

 

[Peachy Lady]

Levonian: "Personally, I couldn’t care less if they could propped me up on my hands and knees in the casket, pulled my pants down, stuck carnations in my butt, and posted the pics on the Internet—after all, I’m dead."


:jaw:

 

[Levonian]

Believe me--I really wouldn't put it past Mayflower to do something like that. :|

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Personally, I couldn’t care less if they could propped me up on my hands and knees in the casket, pulled my pants down, stuck carnations in my butt, and posted the pics on the Internet—after all, I’m dead.

On second thought, maybe I’ll just sell that plot at Forest Lawn and be cremated instead. I wouldn’t put anything past my wife…

Good idea! This is personal and morbid, but I have decided to be cremated. You're right about not caring what happens afterward because hell, we're dead, but still....

 

[Oceanbreeze]

:-o I voted no myself. When my foster son was 4 years old, he was still living with his grandmother (adopted mom). Her second oldest daughter was murdered, she had been hit over the head with a cloth bag filled with bricks. She asked me to take care of Tiger during all the preparation, which I so gladly did. She was very upset that I didn't take Tiger to the wake, and reason being , he was too young! When I brought Tiger home, his grandmother had taken pictures of her daughter in the casket, and showed them to Tiger. The picture was upsetting because she was all swollen, and it didn't look like her at all. I was so upset that she showed Tiger these pictures, and I could see it scared him, because this is not his Aunt that he remembered, luckily, I had a picture of her with Tiger and his brothers, and gave that to Tiger so he wouldn't be so upset anymore.
No, it is very disrespectful to take pictures of the dead. We need to remember them the way they were, not like that.

I have to say, I totally agree with you; especially when it comes to children. A little story:

My Great-Grandmother died when I was six. From what I know of the funeral, it was an open casket viewing followed by burial. All the family was there, except an aunt. Reason this aunt wasn't there. She was babysitting my sister and I. Because of our ages, my parents had the good sense to keep us at home.

A few years later, another Aunt died. I was 13. I did go to this funeral, which was, open casket. I tell you. It left an impression on me. You're right. The way my aunt looked in that casket was ghastly, and this is why I don't like open casket funerals. Death changes the appearance of the person, and regardless of how good the funeral parlor is at making the person look like themselves, they often fall short of the mark. (and, this is with a person who died of natural causes. It's worse if the person was a murder victim, or died in some other horrible fashion.)


:::shudders:::

 

[EyesBlueDeaf]

I think it is very tacky to take pictures of someone inside his/her casket.
I know that many Deaf people do that so they can show to friends that they were there or to prove that the person is really dead. (Well, you know how rumors spread in the Deaf Community)

 

[Liebling:-)))]

There are some photos taken of Princess Di and Dodi in Paris Tunnel car crash, as there is NO photos revealed to the world !!

Only we allow to see pictures of the wreck car as it is.

Yes I remember. They were told to not press Princess Di and Dodi´s bodies on the newspapers to the world. They will be in trouble if they ignore Di´s and Dodi´s famliy members´s wishes.