Table manners....eating in or out....

[rockin'robin]

Ever gone out to eat at a nice restaurant and the next table, the people are making a mess and eating with their hands? Food all over the floor?

At home, it's still a hazzle for my boys to put the napkin in their laps, take off their hats, say "please pass this or that"....without reaching way across the table for a roll or trying to get the last piece of meat....(a man/boy thing)?

Recently, we also went out to eat with this deaf couple. My son told me later, that they made "a lot of noise" when they ate, smacking and chewing.....eating with their mouths partly open.....

I never realized that! We deafies can't hear ourselves when we eat!

 

[VamPyroX]

It depends on the restaurant that I'm at.

If it's a restaurant where part of the menu includes items that involves using your hands and it's messy, then I won't blame them.

However, if it's a restaurant where there isn't really anything on the menu that uses your hands... then I would be bothered.

A rib BBQ smokehouse place? Of course, everyone's gonna be using their hands and being messy.

An italian restaurant? Of course, everyone's gonna be using forks and spoons.

 

[Reba]

It depends on the restaurant that I'm at.

If it's a restaurant where part of the menu includes items that involves using your hands and it's messy, then I won't blame them.

However, if it's a restaurant where there isn't really anything on the menu that uses your hands... then I would be bothered.

A rib BBQ smokehouse place? Of course, everyone's gonna be using their hands and being messy.

An italian restaurant? Of course, everyone's gonna be using forks and spoons.

Right. It depends on the food item.

Corn on the cob, burgers, sandwiches, nachos, steamed clams, wings, wraps, gyros, etc., are examples of finger foods.

 

[Dixie]

Well here's a new one, my mom and dad went out to eat with some friends for his birthday last year and when the restaurant brought out the mini-birthday cake (fed about 5-6 people) it wasn't pre-cut. Well my dad whipped out his pocket knife and proceeded to cut the cake and offer pieces to everyone else in the group. Well needless to say everyone was disgusted and kindly refused the cake. What made it worse was the fact that there were still clean dinner knives on the table provided by the restaurant and dad failed to use them instead. No one knew where his pocket knife had been (and I can safely say I yell at him when I catch him cutting meat with it and put the portion he doesn't want back on the serving plate for someone else to eat). I know his pocket knife is used when he cuts rope, uses it to pick his teeth, digs at his fingernails and toenails, whittles wood, field processes wild game, and once a month it goes on the sharpening stone that uses oil. I've NEVER seen him clean his knife. The closest to 'clean' this knife has ever gotten was when he uses a dry napkin to wipe the gunk off the blade. (usually some sort of oily thick stuff).

I told mom to just flat out never take him out to eat on his birthday again as that had to have mortified her. Next time just cook some steaks for him on his birthday and call it good.

 

[rockin'robin]

Went out to a buffet once. In the other booth were 2 ladies with 2 babies in a high chair. The ladies kept putting food on the tray and the babies eating it with their hands. No bibbs or napkins. The babies would eat a little, then throw the rest on the floor, right beside my booth.
Sometimes I would get a spat of liquid from the food!....The floor was a mess! NO atempt of the ladies to pick it up...or even feed the babies with spoons!

When the babies would "fuss", they would just put more food on the tray....By the time we were done eating, getting up to leave, I looked at the babies, their clothes were all stained with food (along with their faces), and I stepped into some of the food on the floor....It was really disgusting!

 

[Dixie]

Some parents just don't get it and think it is ok to give their children whatever they want, or just let the children 'tend to themselves'. This is just a perfect set up for a future spoiled brat. We need less of these and more of the ancient variety in which children had a reverent fear of their mother and father.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Well here's a new one, my mom and dad went out to eat with some friends for his birthday last year and when the restaurant brought out the mini-birthday cake (fed about 5-6 people) it wasn't pre-cut. Well my dad whipped out his pocket knife and proceeded to cut the cake and offer pieces to everyone else in the group. Well needless to say everyone was disgusted and kindly refused the cake. What made it worse was the fact that there were still clean dinner knives on the table provided by the restaurant and dad failed to use them instead. No one knew where his pocket knife had been (and I can safely say I yell at him when I catch him cutting meat with it and put the portion he doesn't want back on the serving plate for someone else to eat). I know his pocket knife is used when he cuts rope, uses it to pick his teeth, digs at his fingernails and toenails, whittles wood, field processes wild game, and once a month it goes on the sharpening stone that uses oil. I've NEVER seen him clean his knife. The closest to 'clean' this knife has ever gotten was when he uses a dry napkin to wipe the gunk off the blade. (usually some sort of oily thick stuff).

I told mom to just flat out never take him out to eat on his birthday again as that had to have mortified her. Next time just cook some steaks for him on his birthday and call it good.

I can top that! I was at my daughter's mother in law house for Thanksgiving . My daughter was raise to have table manners . The serving bowls were on the table and the mother in law and her boyfriend was putting their hands in the bowl and eating from it! This was food for all of us
and they were putting their fingers in the food than their mouth and back into the food! My mouth hit the floor! I pass on that food. When we were having dessert the mother in law was cutting the cake and she would LICK the knife after she cut each slice of cake ! She ask me if I wanted some cake too and I said" NO Thank you!" I was totally gross out. I hate having to go ther to eat.

 

[Reba]

Too many gross examples near my lunch time. Ugh!

 

[Dixie]

I can top that! I was at my daughter's mother in law house for Thanksgiving . My daughter was raise to have table manners . The serving bowls were on the table and the mother in law and her boyfriend was putting their hands in the bowl and eating from it! This was food for all of us
and they were putting their fingers in the food than their mouth and back into the food! My mouth hit the floor! I pass on that food. When we were having dessert the mother in law was cutting the cake and she would LICK the knife after she cut each slice of cake ! She ask me if I wanted some cake too and I said" NO Thank you!" I was totally gross out. I hate having to go ther to eat.

Some people just don't see how disgusting they really are, until several people simultaneously call them out on it right when it happens. If I were you at your daughter's MILs then I would have just gotten up and said "Oh I've got be somewhere else, thank you for the invitation, but I have REALLY got to go!" Then just gather your things and leave. Then I would just make it a point to never go over there unless it involves one of your direct family members. She'll eventually get it that there's something you don't like, then your daughter might bring the issue up when she is over there.

 

[Reba]

Some people just don't see how disgusting they really are, until several people simultaneously call them out on it right when it happens. If I were you at your daughter's MILs then I would have just gotten up and said "Oh I've got be somewhere else, thank you for the invitation, but I have REALLY got to go!" Then just gather your things and leave. Then I would just make it a point to never go over there unless it involves one of your direct family members. She'll eventually get it that there's something you don't like, then your daughter might bring the issue up when she is over there.

I don't think she will "get it" unless someone speaks up. The MIL will think it's purely snobbishness or rudeness on the part of the people turning down the invitations. People who are used to their own habits don't realize they're doing something not socially acceptable until someone explains it to them, preferably in a quiet, private way.

 

[Adamsmomma]

Went out to a buffet once. In the other booth were 2 ladies with 2 babies in a high chair. The ladies kept putting food on the tray and the babies eating it with their hands. No bibbs or napkins. The babies would eat a little, then throw the rest on the floor, right beside my booth.
Sometimes I would get a spat of liquid from the food!....The floor was a mess! NO atempt of the ladies to pick it up...or even feed the babies with spoons!

When the babies would "fuss", they would just put more food on the tray....By the time we were done eating, getting up to leave, I looked at the babies, their clothes were all stained with food (along with their faces), and I stepped into some of the food on the floor....It was really disgusting!

I will confess... sometimes Adam eats w/his hands when we go out-- he tries w/a fork or spoon but if he can't manage it, he'll either 1) pick the food up and put it on his fork/spoon then get it to his little mouth or 2) just pick it up and eat it if it's a 'solid' food... his fine motor skills are still developing and he has a hard time w/the fork and some foods but is a champ w/others-- most of the time he doesn't even want what I order him, and prefers to get what ever mom's got on her plate from my fork/spoon :roll:

And he's been known to throw food when he gets upset-- but I always try to clean up after him-- (after I've scolded him and or my brother has taken him out of the restaurant if he's with us) usually that only happens if he's having an SPD (sensory processing disorder) meltdown and I can't figure out what sensory is over stimulated to help him calm down-- We don't go out to eat too often b/c of his SPD meltdowns....

 

[Dixie]

I will confess... sometimes Adam eats w/his hands when we go out-- he tries w/a fork or spoon but if he can't manage it, he'll either 1) pick the food up and put it on his fork/spoon then get it to his little mouth or 2) just pick it up and eat it if it's a 'solid' food... his fine motor skills are still developing and he has a hard time w/the fork and some foods but is a champ w/others-- most of the time he doesn't even want what I order him, and prefers to get what ever mom's got on her plate from my fork/spoon :roll:

And he's been known to throw food when he gets upset-- but I always try to clean up after him-- (after I've scolded him and or my brother has taken him out of the restaurant if he's with us) usually that only happens if he's having an SPD (sensory processing disorder) meltdown and I can't figure out what sensory is over stimulated to help him calm down-- We don't go out to eat too often b/c of his SPD meltdowns....

At least you 1.) remove the child from the situation and 2.) you clean it up before you leave. That's a lot more than what most people would do.

I understand if a child is just learning to use a fork/spoon to feed themselves and they don't have fine motor skills yet, that is one thing.

But just flat out allowing your child to tend to himself while you ignore him to feed your own face, regardless if he is having a fit and throwing food at other people.

If I were the parent in that situation and they started throwing food, I would take their food away and feed them myself. If they proceeded to have a wailing fit, I would immediately ask for a cheque, pay, and leave and me and the child would go home.

 

[posts from hell]

Well here's a new one, my mom and dad went out to eat with some friends for his birthday last year and when the restaurant brought out the mini-birthday cake (fed about 5-6 people) it wasn't pre-cut. Well my dad whipped out his pocket knife and proceeded to cut the cake and offer pieces to everyone else in the group. Well needless to say everyone was disgusted and kindly refused the cake. What made it worse was the fact that there were still clean dinner knives on the table provided by the restaurant and dad failed to use them instead. No one knew where his pocket knife had been (and I can safely say I yell at him when I catch him cutting meat with it and put the portion he doesn't want back on the serving plate for someone else to eat). I know his pocket knife is used when he cuts rope, uses it to pick his teeth, digs at his fingernails and toenails, whittles wood, field processes wild game, and once a month it goes on the sharpening stone that uses oil. I've NEVER seen him clean his knife. The closest to 'clean' this knife has ever gotten was when he uses a dry napkin to wipe the gunk off the blade. (usually some sort of oily thick stuff).

I told mom to just flat out never take him out to eat on his birthday again as that had to have mortified her. Next time just cook some steaks for him on his birthday and call it good.

Wow, humiliating your own parent on an open forum..

 

[posts from hell]

Some parents just don't get it and think it is ok to give their children whatever they want, or just let the children 'tend to themselves'. This is just a perfect set up for a future spoiled brat. We need less of these and more of the ancient variety in which children had a reverent fear of their mother and father.

So you read a lot of Maddox? I like the guy

 

[posts from hell]

Ever gone out to eat at a nice restaurant and the next table, the people are making a mess and eating with their hands? Food all over the floor?

At home, it's still a hazzle for my boys to put the napkin in their laps, take off their hats, say "please pass this or that"....without reaching way across the table for a roll or trying to get the last piece of meat....(a man/boy thing)?

Recently, we also went out to eat with this deaf couple. My son told me later, that they made "a lot of noise" when they ate, smacking and chewing.....eating with their mouths partly open.....

I never realized that! We deafies can't hear ourselves when we eat!

questions here:
Nice restaurant? What kind of nice place are we talking about? If you're talking about Chilis, Applebees, or somewhere along these lines...

I'll be perfectly honest... I'm sheltered from these places. I don't get the chance to see other people eating with their hands, nor do I want to.

 

[Adamsmomma]

At least you 1.) remove the child from the situation and 2.) you clean it up before you leave. That's a lot more than what most people would do.

I understand if a child is just learning to use a fork/spoon to feed themselves and they don't have fine motor skills yet, that is one thing.

But just flat out allowing your child to tend to himself while you ignore him to feed your own face, regardless if he is having a fit and throwing food at other people.

If I were the parent in that situation and they started throwing food, I would take their food away and feed them myself. If they proceeded to have a wailing fit, I would immediately ask for a cheque, pay, and leave and me and the child would go home.

Yep!!! Been SEVERAL times when I was by myself w/him when I've had to ask for a 'to-go' box then left... a time or two before the meal got to the table even-- Better bet he knew mom was PISSED when we got outside...

 

[Reba]

questions here:
Nice restaurant? What kind of nice place are we talking about? If you're talking about Chilis, Applebees, or somewhere along these lines...

I'll be perfectly honest... I'm sheltered from these places. I don't get the chance to see other people eating with their hands, nor do I want to.

Do you have little kids?

 

[posts from hell]

Do you have little kids?

yes. a kid.

 

[Reba]

questions here:
Nice restaurant? What kind of nice place are we talking about? If you're talking about Chilis, Applebees, or somewhere along these lines...

I'll be perfectly honest... I'm sheltered from these places. I don't get the chance to see other people eating with their hands, nor do I want to.

If it's fine dining, I wouldn't take small children there, period. Children are OK in finer restaurants if they've been taught properly at home first.

"Family" style restaurants are OK for small kids. Even then, don't take them if they're tired and cranky, don't stay long, and bring their own bottles, sippy cups, favorite snacks, and small, quiet toys. Don't let them go wild.

 

[Reba]

yes. a kid.

Do you take your little kid out to eat? What kind of establishments?