Shyness....

FreeWoman77 said:
I am shy too but warm up
Click to expand...


Yes, it's exactly what I feel but it's not bad thing. It's normal if it takes you a while to feel comfortable with new people and new situation.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
It affect our esteem and thought bad about new people, we meet and judge ourselves that they "might" give their negative answer back to us.

I hope my post make sense.
Click to expand...


Like what the one of list say in your post.

10. Build your self-esteem: Take pride in your skills and share what you can do with others. Stop negative thinking. When you catch yourself being too self-critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Take pride in your opinions and ideas - and don't be afraid to voice them.
Click to expand...


Actually that doesn't mean we judge ourselves, it mean we have this fear of being judge by others, and thinking negative on how others will respond to us when we do approach, and we shouldn't be afraid to speak our mind...
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Gemtun, your description could be match form of social phobia. I would suggest you to check with your doctor instead of take Lev.'s suggestion. Why? It could lead you addict to drugs because the drugs helps you relax which it's not good. The drugs or alcohol to make you overcome your shyness, then it could lead you turn into addiction. It's just my suggestion.
Click to expand...


I forget to edit to give you link... The suggestion link would help to learn about yourself and feeling about yourself.

http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/shyness/tips.html
Click to expand...
 
^Angel^ said:
Actually that doesn't mean we judge ourselves, it mean we have this fear of being judge by others, and thinking negative on how others will respond to us when we do approach, and we shouldn't be afraid to speak our mind...
Click to expand...

Yes that's exactly what I tried to say in my previous posts... like what you said.

It's judgement what we have fear feeling of "being judge" by others and "thinking negative" about people "what/how they respond to us"... Why we say this when we didn't know them well and how could we know that they are like others, we had bad experiences in the past? It's an exactly what we judge our feeling about people, we don't know well. It doesn't mean that we judge people but our feeling... Its about fear feeling.

and we shouldn't be afraid to speak our mind...
Click to expand...

Exactly!
 
^Angel^ said:
Actually that doesn't mean we judge ourselves, it mean we have this fear of being judge by others, and thinking negative on how others will respond to us when we do approach, and we shouldn't be afraid to speak our mind...
Click to expand...

Exactly - I deal with this on a daily basis.
 
Yea sometimes I am shy. I feel that someone would think I am being stupid, or just think I am weird. I find a lot of times it takes a person to keep calling me over and over in order to be my friend. I am not open completely, so I just talk about netural things. I guess it's my fear of rejection.
 
Dannie said:
Lev: Shyness is now known to be primarily of genetic origin, and there are a number of drugs that effectively treat it. If it bothers you, go talk to your primary care physician.

First of all, this guy works in a research lab, secondly 'ALL SSRI'S ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND HAVE HAZARDOUS SIDE EFFECTS'.
Click to expand...

I don’t have time right now to respond to all of your points, but there are a couple which need immediate addressing. First of all, I do not work in a research lab. I am a chimpanzee who is imprisoned in a research lab against my will. I spend most of my day reading porno mags, playing poker, and getting shot in the ass with experimental hepatitis vaccines.

Secondly, nobody with an IQ exceeding their shoe size is going to take you seriously if you categorically dismiss everything that medical science has accomplished and instead propose that human pathologies can be treated through Scientology and distilled flower essences. SSRI’s have side effects, of course. All drugs do. But if you factor in the number of suicides which have been prevented by the use of antidepressant medications, any idiot can see that the benefits outweigh the risks by a substantial margin. Add to that the improved quality of life that depressed people and those around them have enjoyed, and the loss of untold billions of dollars of economic productivity which these drugs have prevented, and only an idiot would deny that these are anything but wonder drugs. No human pathology is ever going to be cured through sniffing flowers and reading science fiction.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Yes that's exactly what I tried to say in my previous posts... like what you said.

It's judgement what we have fear feeling of "being judge" by others and "thinking negative" about people "what/how they respond to us"... Why we say this when we didn't know them well and how could we know that they are like others, we had bad experiences in the past? It's an exactly what we judge our feeling about people, we don't know well. It doesn't mean that we judge people but our feeling... Its about fear feeling.Exactly!
Click to expand...


We all have strengths and weaknesses in us, and some people do not allow themselves to experience the fear but those of us we are painful shyness has grown to know that it is natural to feel fear and this feeling can not be controll, What can be controll is what we do with the fear, our actions... We can choose to run, hide or cry, We can feel fear and still act in ways to protect ourselves from being hurt emotionally and physically....
 
Would be silly to be shyness. Try to break the shy obstacle, then you could be great in long run. I know it is not easy but try yourself in practicing methods. It is up to you.
 
Levonian said:
I do not work in a research lab. I am a chimpanzee who is imprisoned in a research lab against my will. I spend most of my day reading porno mags, playing poker, and getting shot in the ass with experimental hepatitis vaccines.
Click to expand...

:rofl: :rofl: Oh my gosh Levonian, you're killing me here... :rofl:
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Do you mean you smoking weed? Yes I know drugs would help to overcome your shyness but I would not do that.
Click to expand...

Possibly...lol

I do know that it is not 100% safe. Its common sense.

However, it is a choice that I made. I dont really care if anyone thinks its right or wrong. That being said, I would definitely rather smoke than take all those anti-anexity drugs that are usually very addictive and have lots of side effects. Kinda hypocritical that those drugs are legal, but weed isnt?

But I m not going to go any further cuz this is a thread about shyness. I dont really want to threadjack and/or start a flamewar. I not really interested in arguing cuz I dont have the time. School and all. hahaha. :)
 
I'm pretty shy and reserved at first sight, and I take time to warm up... but I do my best to make others comforable around me - making a joke or giving them a smile. It makes me feel less shy if I see them laughing. Somebody laughing at my jokes gotta be GOOD in my book. ;) ......though I'm not overly affectionate... I do try to be more warm... I'm just shy.. not because I'm snobbish or want to seem intimidating ;)

I remember in a workshop years ago, I met the most shy person I've ever known in my life (he beat me at that!). He wouldn't look at me or anyone in the eyes. He always had his head down. I bent my head sideways to look at his face with an impish grin, and he was very startled at that. It broke the ice, and he really enjoyed talking with me. It was neat.

Bring a prop or two... give people an excuse to start a convo with you over it. ;) I find it that people will want any excuse to talk.... I sometimes bought my ferret to work and to class at gally. Seems like more people talked with me that way!

I'm not shy about asking people for directions or using their bathroom. The last time I did.. before crossing the mountain, I stopped at a factory and asked a tuff looking guy on a forklift machine if I could use the toilet. I took a few minutes to take a deep breath..... if I were in their shoes, I would gladly give help if I can. So why can't I give people the same chance to do it?
 
:hug: :hug: Angel, have you tried going to a bookstore or the library where they have the "self help", and they may have something about overcoming shyness. It is genetic, as my mom had a case of shyness, and I was the same way. My sister is more outgoing than I am. I would always walk with my head to the ground.
Shyness is a hard emotion, because as you said, you have fears of what to say, starting a conversation, will people understand what you're saying. It makes us so conscious, and we think too hard of what to say and how to approach people.
I hope that in time, you will be able to overcome your shyness to the point where you will feel comfortable talking with family and friends.
When you're posting on AD, you don't seem to have any problems talking to people, giving them advice and being so helpful. But, talking on the computer and facing people I know are two different things. Just be patient with yourself, and try talking to one person at a time when you are with your family until you start to feel comfortable talking to more than one person.
I am here for you if you need me. Love you always ^Angel^!!!! :angel: :hug: :hug:
 
Lev:

The moral code of being a doctor is to follow the hippocratic oath "AND DO THE PATIENT NO HARM".

Well, exactly how often has pharmaceutical companies been taken to courts for damages, and they are still hiding things from the public?

Homeopathy has more science than drugs do, but obviously it's not quite known because in the Pharma world by law they have to profit and the greed is huge in that monopoly - they have more lawyers working for them to appeal and to swing votes in legislations, etc.....obviously you don't know about that because you can't know what you don't know right??
 
Homeopathy is pure unmitigated bullshit. Here is an excellent overview article which exposes the fallacy of homeopathy. It is a link from this page, which is an entire site devoted to debunking homeopathic ‘medicine’.
 
Back
Top