Shyness....

In continution of my valid points of how Drugs are disabling to the body and your health:

I lost my hearing due to massive doses of Vancomycin and Gentimycin used for a severe infection of the blood. Without these medications I would have died. But the cost was great. I lost all hearing in one ear and am profoundly deafened in the other.

Oxycontin overuse and misuse has caused countless deaths and addictions. In fact, several physicians who overprescribed or carelessly prescribed it have faced lawsuits for patient deaths caused by this dangerous drug. If at all possible, avoid or use with extreme care this drug which is available under various names and in various combinations with other drugs - oxycodone, hydrocodone, etc.

http://www.hearinglosshelp.com/OtotoxicityPartI.htm
November 2003 by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

First published in Audiology Online and Healthy Hearing December 1, 2003.

"Lynn's" passion was flying. She loved her job as a flight attendant. One day she noticed an ingrown toenail. Within a few days it became infected. The Gentamicin1 her doctor prescribed killed the infection. It also killed the balance system in her ears. Ever since that fateful day in 1994, Lynn has not been able to work or fly. Without warning, an ototoxic drug turned her world upside down.

An ototoxic drug flipped "Ruby's" life upside down too. She explains: "I cannot drive any more. I had to quit my job as it was an hour's drive away. My mental status is now "foggy" at best. I cannot walk in the dark. My life has changed drastically."

How common are ototoxic side effects? The short answer is, "No one really knows." We apparently only see (and record) the tip of the iceberg. For extremely ototoxic drugs such as Cisplatin (used in the treatment of cancer), virtually everyone that takes this drug ends up with hearing loss. According to some researchers, not a single person escapes its ravages—100% of the people taking Cisplatin damage their ears.5 The resulting hearing loss "is usually irreversible (permanent)."8

Another very ototoxic class of drugs are the AMINOGLYCOSIDE antibiotics. Researchers estimate that between one and four million Americans receive AMINOGLYCOSIDE antibiotics (such as Gentamicin, Neomycin, Tobramycin) each year.7 According to one study, a person has a 25-30% chance of incurring hearing loss from taking any of the AMINOGLYCOSIDES.

There are at least 743 drugs that are known to be ototoxic.

Cochlear side effects
Tinnitus: Tinnitus, commonly called "ringing in the ears," is the number one indicator that you may be damaging your ears from an ototoxic drug. At least 447 drugs are known to cause tinnitus.4 Tinnitus can manifest itself as a wide variety of sounds.

Hearing loss: More than 230 drugs are known to cause hearing loss.4 Hearing loss can range from mild to profound and may be temporary or permanent. One of the insidious things about ototoxic drugs is they generally first destroy hearing in the very high frequencies which are not normally tested (those above 8,000 Hz).

Hyperacusis: Hyperacusis is a condition where normal sounds are perceived as being much too loud. It is as though the body's internal volume control is stuck on "high." At least 38 drugs can cause this condition, the SSRI's are primarily in this group, as they also cause violence and other horrible things.

Auditory hallucinations: At least 8 drugs can cause you to hear phantom
sounds—voices and music that are not there. Another 165 drugs can cause
hallucinations, some of which may be of the auditory variety.4 Most of these
hallucinations seem to be the result of a damaged auditory system rather than the effects of a mental illness.

And that is just the Cochlear Effects!

Instead of drugs that are toxic to your body and health and your life, take homeopathic remedies or Bach Flower Remedies!!!!, because your life and your health isn't in the hands of your doctor may act like he's above you.

Your life is in your hands, and you can read yourself the knowledge that's out there yourself, and you can and are a living breathing spiritual being, not an animal as the Pshycholgists would have you believe by passing you drugs without knowing what their consequences and dangers are.
 
I'm very shy myself some people would think Im stuck-up or snob but I'm not at all. Just VERY shy big time. Whenever I meet new faces, I have no courage to talk to them but after I get introduced by a friend, maybe for short time then I'd get quiet. I just don't have anything to say to them. I always afraid what if they judge on my appearance, the way I look. Well, I'm thin and white as casper as I have fair skin. I don't go out in the sun much. I have no tolerance for heat as it would make me feel naseous and dizzy, feel like to faint anytime if I stay out in the sun bit too long. But funny thing is that I would feel comfortable and blend in a day after I met them, it will just take time...slowly to warm up and feel more comfortable then would start talking more with new people that I met THEN I would be so talkative, I'd keep talking non-stop. I take medicine but I don't take them daily just once a while when I need them. I take Xanax for my anxiety.
 
I got another pickle to play with Lev:

Shyness is now known to be primarily of genetic origin,

Is this what you've been taught in the schools and really believe?

The brain is like a chemcial soup, so if your born again the chemical soup changes right? If your so isolated that you become a rampage lunatic your chemical soup changes right?

Has anyway seen the movie "What the Bleep do you know", with our favorite Deaf Actress Marlee M??? What we have of genetic origin is of the same orgin that animals have, the other 90% is junk - but it's our consciousness or can be ruled by the spirital reality that we create and manifest!

Shyness is now known to be primarily of genetic origin, well so is being a clueless nitwit, and learning whatever the schools tell you and teach you without investigating and discovering the truth yourself!
 
Ten ways to overcome your shyness

Timid, fearful, lacking self-confidence, diffident, self-conscious, bashful, retiring into one's shell, keeping in the background... If you feel that even a couple of the above terms describe you, then you could be diagnosed as being shy.

Take heart, because you are not alone. There are thousands of us who suffer from what is generally referred to as shyness and incorrectly called social phobia.

How often have we lost the chance to put forth our ideas at an office meeting because we were too shy to speak up? How often have we spent a weekend alone, wishing we had a boy/girlfriend to go out with?

All these – and similar situations - are indications of shyness, which afflicts men, women, children, even older people. If you think you will always be shy just because you have always been that way, you couldn’t be far from the truth. You would be surprised how easily shyness can be overcome. We show you how:

1. Have faith in yourself: If you genuinely believe you are likeable, you will communicate your belief to others. Think about what you're good at and what you enjoy, and build on those abilities. For instance, if you prefer to listen than to talk, use that to show people how good a listener you are. You will be surprised what a dearth of good listeners there is!

2. Meet new people: To become less shy, you need to become comfortable around strangers. The best way to do this is by making an effort to meet new people. As you keep meeting new people you will feel much more at ease when you are in the presence of people you do not know very well.

3. Join a group: Join in activities which give you a chance to interact with people, such as fitness classes, a college activity group, a hobby club or an office discussion group. Once you are a part of one of these, make sure you always contribute in some way, no matter how small, and after a while, you'll get comfortable with it.

4. Don't take things too personally: If you want to succeed in the game of socialising, you can't take every comment, insinuation or joke as a personal affront. People sometimes say things they don't mean. However, if you are sure that someone has made an inappropriate comment about you, you should definitely stand up for yourself.

5. Don't fear rejection: The trick here is not to be self-conscious and simply focus on the activity and not the outcome. For instance, if you have something to say, don’t waste time thinking how you’ll sound or how people will react. Just say it as naturally as possible.

6. Take small steps: Start with a smile; show everyone you're friendly and approachable. Then progress to saying "hello." A few days after that, engage in small talk. Keep going, and as you gradually open yourself up to people, you will see it's not as hard as you thought.

7. Focus on others: Shyness and hesitation occur when you think about your flaws. Instead, focus on the person you're talking to. If you make a blunder, forget about it. Most people are more forgiving than you think.

8. Visualise: Visualisation means creating mental pictures of behaviours and situations that you would like to be involved in. You can daydream real-life situations. Start small, like a casual conversation with a co-worker. Then imagine scenarios that are out of character for you. This will help you handle these situations in real life.

9. Be well-informed: Have something to say. Keep up on current events, sports, amusing stories. If the conversation lulls, have new topics ready. And to ease the burden of initiating something, have a few icebreakers handy to get the ball rolling.

10. Build your self-esteem: Take pride in your skills and share what you can do with others. Stop negative thinking. When you catch yourself being too self-critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Take pride in your opinions and ideas - and don't be afraid to voice them.


Steps to overcome your shyness
 
Good and interesting thread here... wow, I didn't know that anyone tried to upset you here before some of posts are removed. There're difference forms of shyness between social anxiety and social phobia.

I enjoy myself reading this whole thread here to focus how the people feeling over their shyness. Yes, you are not only one! I know the feeling... Shy people judge themselves pretty a lot and think what the people think of them. I admit I'm also one of them as well.

I don't make first move but think twice before says something and watch their social characters ... Example same with forums. I was being bullied, belittled, etc by one of forums because they can't accept agree to disagree and honest opinion. It was happened to me, that's why I'm careful what I say which it's no fun because I rather to open anything what I think. It's me. I feel more comfortable to make posts here with nice and understanding friends, its an exactly same with people in real life. Depend on person's character how/what I feel comfortable to socialize with...

One of my good friends are shy and communicate with anyone hardly until I come... She feel comfortable to talk with me because I'm good listener. That's how I believe that/how the shy people feeling. (I'm one of them). Shy people might be more sensitive to emotions, not just for them but toward other's feeling.

That's how shyness people learn from others including family members. If parents are overly cautious or shy and find socializing uncomfortable, their actions might teach a child that socializing is uncomfortable. If people are receiving critical or disapproving reactions, they may grow into adults who expect others to judge them negatively. These people are more likely to be reserved, shy, scared or intimidated by certain situations. The shy nature could be lead extreme shy due their bad experiences... Example: they are being pushed too much into unfamiliar or uncomfortable social situations. (teased, treated unkindly or humiliated by peers, siblings or adults etc.) If you have children, then listen their talk instead of give them negative tips but explain them in positive way... It builds their good esteem and self confidence. It help them learn to feel less shy.

You don't have to try anything to overcome your shyness but accept yourself and know from your feeling how good or bad people who can understand and accept you or not until you get familiar with them first is mainly important. Depend on their good or bad character what I can socialize with or not. What about hobbies? Focus something positive yourself... If you are unsure about yourself then ask your best friend or family members what they think of your qualities and strengths.

It call form of social phobia when someone who is an extreme shy and feel too anxious and avoid to talk something, he or she can't talk in certain social situations like waiters in restaurants, certain people, etc. until he or she feels intensity and alone which could be hard to overcome with extreme shy alone. They need professional helps before he or she become feel being intensity and alone.
 
^Angel^ said:
I'm not sure where I got my shyness from, and no thanks for the drugs! ;)
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Check my first post. It would help to find out where your shyness come from.

Yes I am agree to take the drugs do not solve anything but learn to understand about yourself which it's mainly important.
 
ecevit said:
I'm shy too .. and it has genetic roots.. but the main reason why I'm shy now is mainly of my partial deafness.. my hoh prevents me joining in hearing world so I'm considered to be shy by my relatives.
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*nodding* I know that feeling! I feel being withdraw from hearing world... I have few hearing friends & my hubby's mother who understand and accept what I am and get use to know my voice which is good because I know them for a long time. I feel uncomfortable and too shy to speak something case they didn't understand me at first. I use paper and pen to communicate with them to save hassle and embarrassment. Mainly important is I CAN communicate with people from social places in writing. Later I get familiar with their lipreads as they with my voice as well. It warm our shyness up...
 
RebelGirl said:
Alot of guys like girls that are shy, right guys????
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Not all... Just depend what...

One of my friends, I mentioned in my first post. She never have a boyfriend in her life because she's too shy until she met one of my hubby's friend. We all know that he is not for her because of his macho type. She need a man as He need a woman because nobody wants them.

We are not happy with their annonnced for getting married because we know what she is and what he is. She is toooooo sweeeeettt and too innoncent. He is tooooo macho... too opposite... After married, he do what he wants... He go out everyday... she suffers.. Everyone knows that he only married her because she is too easy for him and have money. They married for 21 years now with no children. She came to me for problems (she live small villiage)... All what I do is help her to improve her esteem and self-confidence is take her out and to classes, women club, parent conference, etc. It got her husband mad how different person she is and blame me... Huh? I spat back to him to not even blame me because she is lonely and want to go out... Who takes her out... Nobody but me... Is it criminal to take his wife out and make her happy? He said nothing... His wife told him that she wants go out but she has no car... bad bus connection... how? She is grateful to take my offer to take her out... He said nothing...

That's why I advise shy people to not being take advantage from macho guys. It would affect shy people esteem more and more...
 
Catmandu said:
I'm painfully shy in real life. I'm about to see that change once I hang out with my childhood best friend again. I've already cost my friendships with few people, but hopefully it won't happen again in the future.
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I have failed to meet them because of my shyness and I lack confidence in myself around people as well. Fear of rejection. Fear of being judged. Fear of trusting people. I just cannot get past them and I lost some friends over it. I'm so pathetic!
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Do you mean that you avoid to talk in certain social situtations like waiters in restaurants, certain people, certain social situations etc....? As you said that you hang out with your childhood best friend. Only her?

It call form of social phobia when someone is an extreme shy and feel too anxious and avoid to talk something, he or she can't talk in certain social situations until he or she feels intensity and alone which could be hard to overcome with extreme shy alone. He or She need professional helps before he or she become feel being intensity and alone.

They need professional helps before he or she become feel being intensity and alone.

I think this link would help to understand and feel about yourself since you said that you feel being pathetic.
http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/shyness/tips.html
 
Cheri said:
I can be shy sometimes, It depends on the situation, if someone flattering me, I blushed and intended to hide my self behind the bushes, or meeting new people, new faces I can be shy at first and then when the conversation is going, I get comfortable. ;)
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Yes me, too... It is likely "warm up"... I am quite and withdraw until I'm familiar for a while then warm up.... I could be :giggle: easily... :D
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Shy people judge themselves pretty a lot and think what the people think of them.
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Judge themsevles alot? :ugh:
 
Gemtun said:
Ironically while reading this thread, I realized that I locked myself out of my car. I left my car keys right on my driver seat. I had to call 6 different locksmiths via IP Relay but all hung up on me by saying that it is a telemarketing call. Finally I called a cop. The cop showed up but I was so shy that I just stood by his car for 50 minutes in freezing cold. He tried to talk to me but I mumbled and didnt know what to say. I just said I need help with unlocking my car. We waited for a locksmith for 40 minutes and I was too shy to talk to the cop.

I felt bad that I wasnt able to converse easily with the cop. He came to assist me yet I wasnt able to say a single word. :ugh2: I had to page my very outgoing friend who called the cop and explained my situation, etc. My friend who happened to be married to a cop herself told me that I should try to flirt and smile at the cute cop and beg the locksmith to give me his services for free. Instead, I just stood frozen in darkness and paid 75 dollars quickly so the locksmith would leave early. I am sure if I was more outgoing and all that, I would have handled this situation easily!!!! I always have to ask my outgoing friends to bail me out of situations like this. :whistle:
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Gemtun, your description could be match form of social phobia. I would suggest you to check with your doctor instead of take Lev.'s suggestion. Why? It could lead you addict to drugs because the drugs helps you relax which it's not good. The drugs or alcohol to make you overcome your shyness, then it could lead you turn into addiction. It's just my suggestion.
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^Angel^ said:
Judge themsevles alot? :ugh:
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I mean that you have unsure feeling about people and judge yourself what you think or feel they "might" answer something negative back to you... It's an exactly how we (including me) shyness people feeling...

Its about fear to talk something openly what they feel and think because they think people might say something negative back to them. It means is you judge yourself what you think and feeling about people.

That's what I said in my previous post.
Shy people judge themselves pretty a lot and think what the people think of them. I admit I'm also one of them as well.
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Liebling:-))) said:
I mean that you have unsure feeling about people and judge yourself what you think or feel they "might" answer something negative back to you... It's an exactly how we (including me) shyness people feeling...

Its about fear to talk something openly what they feel and think because they think people might say something negative back to them.

That's what I said in my previous post.
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No, it the other way around, there has been some people who judge ME, not that I judge myself of what others think of me....
 
^Angel^ said:
No, it the other way around, there has been some people who judge ME, not that I judge myself of what others think of me....
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Yes I know... That's how our shyness come from thru our experiences in the past. That's what I'm trying to explain that we have bad experience with people who judge us to affect our esteem in the past... It affect our esteem and thought bad about new people, we meet and judge ourselves that they "might" give their negative answer back to us.

I hope my post make sense.

Like what the one of list say in your post.

10. Build your self-esteem: Take pride in your skills and share what you can do with others. Stop negative thinking. When you catch yourself being too self-critical, counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Take pride in your opinions and ideas - and don't be afraid to voice them.
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hootster said:
I m really shy too. Thats why I smoke "herbs". :)
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Do you mean you smoking weed? Yes I know drugs would help to overcome your shyness but I would not do that.
 
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