Shyness....

[Angel]

^Angel^, I may not sound shy in here but I'm extremely shy IRL. Just a couple of years ago, My friend flirted with me and I kept telling him to stop and he kept on and on and saying my face looks like a lobster.. After a while, I got used to him and started to break the ice. I'm not shy when I'm around the people I know very well.

I don't like being in front of a camera when "SOMEONE" is taking the picture. I don't like being in front of VP but I have to sometimes right? When it comes to guys, I get really shy and won't talk at all.

Even with my family, I don't get shy but I have nothing to say to them cuz none of them can communicate with me.. they say I'm shy. so Maybe I am.

I rather stay shy than not being shy at all Alot of guys like girls that are shy, right guys????

Wow, you and I are so much alike, and that's explain why you're one of my bestest friend

 

[Angel]

AJ, I appreciate your compliment about my appearance, but it's getting old now.

Let's talk about dealing with shyness now.

Can't blame a guy like AJ who's crazy about you

 

[Y]

Oh, it looks like AJ was paying compliment to Catmandu

 

[Gemtun]

Oh, it looks like AJ was paying compliment to Catmandu
(nothing to do with Gemtun)

Sigh - I feel like I m being attacked for no reason. All I did was ask a question and I get called a nasty name, etc. Isnt a forum a place where people can share ideas or opinons or feelings without getting attacked???

I may not have gotten the gist that AJ was paying Cat a compliment but why attack me for being naive or whatnot??? Is that a crime?

 

[Catmandu]

Oh Y me.

 

[AJ]

Gemtun

im sorry {edited}. i was just trying to tell catmandu she was pretty. i didn't think that it would have hurt anyone. i could have handeled that situation a lot better. if it makes u feel any better...ive completely embarrassed myself in front of everyone in AD, and i learned that no one really likes me. well at least according to Lev. which doesn't make me feel good either. im sorry.

 

[Catmandu]

Oh no Catmandu you're NOT pathertic at all , I'm in the same situation as you are, and I've had a hard time trusting people too but I'm slowly starting to trust some of my good friends cause I know they won't turn their back on me no matter how shy I am...I also have a fear of being judge as well too, so believe me you're not alone in this Catmandu

So, we can really relate I know I am being pathetic about it, but I know this can't go on forever because it would affect me not too well later on. Also, I don't want to be isolated forever either. So, I'm going to change that because I cannot afford losing another friendship like that again. For a start, I'm going to hang out with my childhood best friend like go to Deaf Softball event and meet people. She said starting end of April or early May. Oh, I'm so nervous!

 

[Roadrunner]

Mod Note:

Thread's closed for the time being, some posts were removed or edited.


Hopefully, apologies will come about and be accepted--PLEASE refrain from the belittling, the name-calling and finger-pointing OUT. It sure doesn't serve well for AD, of course, there are other online sites that will resort to that level, but here, tsk tsk...AD is an online Forum for the Deaf/HoH community and many hearing people are welcome to join...all for our enjoyment, curiousity, making new acquaintances, learning valuable views/ideas and using some of these good solutions...all in all, this brings us together and can't we all just simply try to get along without having to resort in a way that may hurt another member's feelings....

Obviously AJ now feels bad and has extended an apology and hopefully that will be accepted and move on and put the past behind us in the best way possible. If any concerns or complaints, please direct them to the PMland by getting a hold of any one of the moderators here in AD.

~Thank you!

Now, let's continue with the topic for which this thread is about.



~RR

 

[Roadrunner]

The bookstore are selling the yellow and black books called "shyness for the dummiest" that may help u how to break ur shyness..

Here's a more complete and compiled list , although, there isn't one specifically for 'shyness'.

Whether or not your intent was good, these books for dummies isn't JUST for dummies, meaning that those who have these books are dumb...that isn't the correct assumption that these books are just for them, it's for anyone. I have purchased a few in the past, but no longer have it. A lot of these books hold some good pointers and hold funny ideas per topic.

 

[Roadrunner]

As for shyness...nah...hum-bug, not a shy person at all....although, being 'quiet' sometimes don't mean being 'shy'. I'll usually be the first person to 'start' a conversation whether with one other person or with a group of people.

*looks at ^Angel^*...I've helped her gradually break away from being 'shy' and she is doing quite well and really making significant strides in that department. Now, unless she's shy cuz she may think someone's gonna 'steal' her golden halo, welllll, that would be understandable!

 

[Angel]

Thank you Roadrunner, when I create this thread I expect members to understand why some of us are stuggle on our own shyness and is not something for people to make jokes out of it or call us names, now someone is hurting and might not post in this thread again, I wish some people will grow up and show some respect for those who are trying to overcome their own shyness...

Like I said earlier, if they can't say anything nice, then I'll force to have this lock and removed cause some people can't simple grow up and act like an adult!

 

[IceCream]

I am really shy too. I am not shy online, but I am sort of weird to people because I am so quiet. It's hard to make friends because I am so uncomfortable with them that they too feel uncomfortable with me, and then, I don't see them any longer because I am weird to them. I am shy with my family, but I am shyer with an uncle and aunt who don't have the patience to get to know me. If they get to know me, I am not too shy with them afterwards. It seems to take special people to get to know me comfortably and not look at me weird later. I am sure my shyness is from my deafness. It's hard to make friends because of my being quiet and introverted. I really don't care to change so much for other people. Most of my life people always talked about my quietness as if it was something really wrong. I really don't care to change for them. I have also become less shy over the years because I wanted to. Other than that, there's NOTHING wrong with shyness. It's not a disease to be medicated. I think extroverted people probably see shyness as weird, but who the F* really cares? They are the ones who have something wrong with themselves.

 

[Cheri]

I can be shy sometimes, It depends on the situation, if someone flattering me, I blushed and intended to hide my self behind the bushes, or meeting new people, new faces I can be shy at first and then when the conversation is going, I get comfortable. I've told that I'm a good story teller when it comes to humor. I dunno why people always think I'm so funny when I tell wild stories, It just my natural, that's what makes me more outgoing I guess.

 

[Angel]

Yep, you're funni sis...

 

[ChelEler]

I'm curious to know if anyone here is struggled with shyness?...It seems I can't even overcome my own shyness around alot of people or my own family, like I can't even go up to most people and talk to them about anything and some people thinks I'm being stuck-up because I'm soo quiet and don't talk much but I'm more outgoing when it comes to those that I know so well or feel comfortable with...

There are times when I try to jump into a conversation between friends or family, they just looked at me like I don't make no sense or wasn't being funni, It makes me feel like I wanted to hide and cry , and there are times I couldn't bearly go up and talk to my own father either cause he soo smart and I feel like I'm going to say the wrong thing or asking such a stupid question or etc....I , I really dunno how to overcome my own shyness around most people or even my family, and also I dunno how to make new friends if I am unable to approach them by talking to them...

You're not alone in this. I am shy often. I know I don't act like I am shy online.... being online I'm pretty much open, aren't I? In person, I often wait for the other persons to come up to me and start the conversation. I hardly start a conversation with anyone, even with my own MOM! With my hubby, it's different. I still cannot get my thoughts out to my hubby. Sad, isn't it?

 

[TweetyBird]

am i shy???? curious ask yall

 

[Angel]

You're not alone in this. I am shy often. I know I don't act like I am shy online.... being online I'm pretty much open, aren't I? In person, I often wait for the other persons to come up to me and start the conversation. I hardly start a conversation with anyone, even with my own MOM! With my hubby, it's different. I still cannot get my thoughts out to my hubby. Sad, isn't it?

Oh yes me too, I waited until someone makes the first move....

 

[Gemtun]

Ironically while reading this thread, I realized that I locked myself out of my car. I left my car keys right on my driver seat. I had to call 6 different locksmiths via IP Relay but all hung up on me by saying that it is a telemarketing call. Finally I called a cop. The cop showed up but I was so shy that I just stood by his car for 50 minutes in freezing cold. He tried to talk to me but I mumbled and didnt know what to say. I just said I need help with unlocking my car. We waited for a locksmith for 40 minutes and I was too shy to talk to the cop.

I felt bad that I wasnt able to converse easily with the cop. He came to assist me yet I wasnt able to say a single word. I had to page my very outgoing friend who called the cop and explained my situation, etc. My friend who happened to be married to a cop herself told me that I should try to flirt and smile at the cute cop and beg the locksmith to give me his services for free. Instead, I just stood frozen in darkness and paid 75 dollars quickly so the locksmith would leave early. I am sure if I was more outgoing and all that, I would have handled this situation easily!!!! I always have to ask my outgoing friends to bail me out of situations like this.

I think Ill try the meds Levonian mentioned earlier in this thread

 

[Dannie]

Lev: Shyness is now known to be primarily of genetic origin, and there are a number of drugs that effectively treat it. If it bothers you, go talk to your primary care physician.

First of all, this guy works in a research lab, secondly 'ALL SSRI'S ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND HAVE HAZARDOUS SIDE EFFECTS'.

Over 40 drugs cause hyperacusis, a sensitivity to noise - and trust me being hard of hearing is tough enough you do not want to add this! Some drugs cause auditory hallucinations, doctor's know this but don't comment on this until you discover it first! Believe me, they won't say nothing to you!!, then you try to explain your problems for eight years, and you get worse and then you tell them what you find on the INternet, and the doctor KNEW ALL ALONG!

SSRI'S ARE DEADLY, DO NOT TAKE THEM

SSRI's medical researchers are also aware cause not only disabilitating side effects like violence, agitated..................the after-effects when you stop include more hazardous effects like migraines and disorientation for years!

If you NEED a drug, go holistic.........take Bach Flower Remedies (go to the health stores and read the book), see a homeopathic doctor, or you might consider taking 5-HTP or essential nutrients the body needs instead of toxic drugs the human body sees as poison and foreign and then YOU wind up with side effects and more problem than you had before you took that drug!

In the year 1870, Psychology was known to study the Psyche, except the couldn't even then or know define the Psyche. Drugs were prescribed and handed out as the people were considered animals and not spiritual being capable of being trained skills to benefit from, times haven't changed either in that department.

Stay away from SSRI's, unless you want severe side-effects that may disable your life, believe me so many lawsuits are in court right now from the dangers of SSRI's, but the Pharmaceutical companies by law have to make a profit and they are the biggest monopoly that rolls the economy next to war and pretty much own the gov't.
www.newstarget.com
www.mercola.com

Home - Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR)
Information on the use of medications in the treatment of mental illness. Site investigates and exposes human rights violations in the psychiatric ...
www.cchr.org/


I think in the large majority of cases the mental illness groups LOVE to try and treat the HOH and deaf, believe me they' have certainly tried their numbers on me, but I am aware that they cannot help you evolve or change you especially when they don't empower you or help you in the directions you aim to achieve. Psychology is a dunce topic, it's all ridiculous and it's a real big lie.

If your shy (and I am also with my family because they have me in their minds eye as a particular set person, but I LOVE to talk to people). Families of some HOH/Deaf think they have the right to assume this and that without asking the HOH/Deaf family member or discovering who they truly are.

And then you may be shy because you don't want to bother with conflicts, or you need to empower and change your communication skills with Pychologists (sp?) and drugs that can't possibly help you, and the creators of the drugs don't know all the dangers before it hits the markets..........

Courses like "The Art of Communication" in Scientology will strengthen your communication skills, or you can create your own videos for the Deaf Population in "Empowering Communication, or practise discipline and balance with Martial Arts, or start a Toastmasters class for the Deaf.

 

[Maria]

I am quiet person, too sometimes - but, that doesn't mean that I am shy. It's just that I like bein' quiet at times so called at " restin' " from talkin' alot. Other times, I have nothin' to say to other person/persons to talk about and, this tends to put me in a " quiet " position. Really, it all depends on where I am at/or who I am seein'... etc., etc.

I am not afraid to approach new faces and make new friends with them by makin' a conversation. I am not really 100 % socializin' person with people, but I do love travel alone to visit some history/musuems to learn about different cultures in different states, especially in Alaska that I love most. It's just that I like bein' me as a person.