"Self-acceptance"

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Cheri

Prayers for my dad.
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When you were born deaf, hard of hearing when you first recovered that you're deaf or hard of hearing or had a hearing loss develops in later life,

How long did it took you to accept yourself? Do you still accepting the fact that you're who you are today and for life? Or have you not accepted yourself for who you are?


Are you proud of the choices that your parents made for you? Example: Education, Your social skills, Your ability to communicate.
 
Actually I accept when I was 10 yrs old that who am I being DEAF... doesn't mind at all..

Prefer social Deaf People reason why no misunderstanding and easily understanding clearly out of loud...

If social w/Hearing people, I might get misunderstand or wrong mis-informaiton.. that what I'm afraid of... espically I do not mind communcation w/pen and paper unless if not understand me when I'm speak..
 
Cheri said:
When you were born deaf, hard of hearing when you first recovered that you're deaf or hard of hearing or had a hearing loss develops in later life,

How long did it took you to accept yourself? Do you still accepting the fact that you're who you are today and for life? Or have you not accepted yourself for who you are?


Are you proud of the choices that your parents made for you? Example: Education, Your social skills, Your ability to communicate.
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I think I discovered myself to be hard of hearing when I was around 10 years old. That is when my hearing parents decided to buy me a pair of hearing aids. I do not know there is a Deaf culture until my last semester of high school, which when I took an ASL class. After starting to learn ASL, I was very confused! I did not know if I should consider myself deaf or hearing. :confused: I have accepted the fact that I have a congential mild hearing loss for life. I do get frustrated at hearing people at work and at school but I say that its their problem if they do not like the fact I am hard of hearing. Now, I consider myself to be both deaf and hearing! :applause:

My hearing parents raised me orally because my hearing loss was discovered when I was three years old. They did not know how to sign and I am the youngest child in the family.
 
I always knew I am deaf since I was young..

I think you want to know when we realize we are -different- from most people...

I realized that fact when I was in eighth grade when I saw my old classmates from elementary stuck in the D/HH program in middle school while I was mainstreamed-- and I realized that the pace of teaching was different in D/HH classes which opened my eyes to acknowledge that the hearing people do treat us different-- as if we are lower beings.
 
I am beginning to accept myself right now, at my 25 years old. And that thanks to the sign language and deaf culture. Last september I started a sign language course and to get in touch with deaf people. And since then I feel more comfortable, I find they are my partners in life, we live under the same circumstances. I see I am not alone and that there's a lot of people who share the same way of deaf living. In the hearing world I was always out of the game of life. I was a loner, found hard to communicate, hard to meet new people, hard to be social. I wished to be a hearing one too. But now I am happy and proud of being deaf, and love our culture which I came to know late.

But I also think we have too much to do to improve our culture. I think it has to be more widely known, and I find that sign writing is very important. We need to find a way to fix our messages, write them. But that all is stuff for another thread.
 
My philosophy is you accept your deck of cards, and you play them to all you want! You don't necessarily have to play poker with them too -- you can just shake itching powder all over your cards and dump them down Tousi's pants. ;)

Life is a jolly soiree. Partake of the fun!
 
gnarlydorkette said:
hearing people do treat us different-- as if we are lower beings.
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This is a sad thing, isn't it? I happened to have a friend with me for a 2-day conference last week, and a co-worker (teacher) said, "Wow. Your friend is really intelligent. I don't know why it surprised me so much, but he started talking and I was just floored." What he was really saying was, "I can't believe a Deaf person is that intelligent," because most of the deaf students in our school are lower functioning. Unfortunately, teachers without exposure to other deaf students think that all 19-year-old students function on the academic level of a 6-year-old. :(

But not all of us hearing people are bad! :)
 
I lost my hearing at the age of 5 from illness, and started wearing hearing aids, I grew up hard of hearing until I slowy start losing more of my hearing by the time I reach high school, and I decide not to wear my hearing aids anymore....A couple years later when my first son was born and I wanted to hear my son's laughters and his voices, but couldn't afford to get new hearing aids, and my health insurance will only covers for cochlear implants and it is very difficult for me to read people's lips sometimes so I decide to give it a try, made an appointment to learn more about cochlear implants, I went to see my doctor and an audiologist, I remember I had a hearing test being done, and the doctor told me I wasn't candidates for implants because I lost most of my hearing as he says, but from that day on, I didn't bother going for a second opinion, cause I didn't know much about cochlear implants back then as I do now....


There are times I accept my own deafness but there are others times I wish I could hear because I don't remember what it was like back then when I was young to the point where I could actually hear sounds, and people talking in the background, and music, etc.....now I could never know what my children really sounds like, and even my family and Roadrunner always tell me how cute it sounds when I giggles, and the sad part is I can't hear it myself, and only that I wish I could...
 
No-one told me I am deaf as I sensed from myself slowly after seeing that I am the odd out from my hearing family as I can't communicate with my grandparents, Aunty/Uncles, neighbours or any strangers I see. I think I was about 5 years old at that time and thinking why no-one wearing hearing aids but me, and I often fall and hit my ears as its caused my ears bleeding because of old fashion ear moulds and wearing huge hearing aids boxes on my chest every day!

I went to Boarding school and envy of my sisters attended local village school together and I thought myself why can't I go with them, I went to special school miles and miles away from my family home.

I envy of my sisters all born hearing, and wish it was one of them born deaf not me, excuse me - very selfish of me to say this:) Also I wish my older hearing sisters never VISITED this neighbour girl who had german mealses and pass this to my pregnant Mother.

I wish we all grew up together in a family home and same school together too.
 
I'm allright with me being deaf.. I'm glad I was deaf.. because everything happens for a reason!! That is something I accept, even if it was not easy to live with being DEAF in a patriachial world at times. :) There are certain attitudes about how things are better than others... which I think exists in an old patriachial system, designed to make cookiecutters (think of those eeriely smiling barbies with their dream houses) without any regard for unique differences and living with them. We're in a new age now, where we are learning these lessons... to live with the differences within and in others. :)

We all have different journeys that we embark on, because I think we are meant to learn certain lessons... and certain conditions had to exist for us to learn those lessons.

We're all stronger than we realize! So that is why I accept my deafness wholeheartedly. I try to not hold regrets, because I don't want to communicate that through my joy or something else.
 
Cheri said:
When you were born deaf, hard of hearing when you first recovered that you're deaf or hard of hearing or had a hearing loss develops in later life,

How long did it took you to accept yourself? Do you still accepting the fact that you're who you are today and for life? Or have you not accepted yourself for who you are?


Are you proud of the choices that your parents made for you? Example: Education, Your social skills, Your ability to communicate.
Click to expand...

I understood that I had to wear hearing aids from age 3 - 11...but I didnt realized that I was "different" from hearing world until age 11 on Valentine's Day...

Well, I accept myself who I am but I CAN NOT..WILL NOT...NEVER WILL accept my deafness...I hate being deaf...I rather to be hearing...I guess its because I grew up wearing hearing aids all my life..I could hear with hearing aids...until 3 years ago..my left hearing has gone down...it rings my left ear if I put hearing aid on...but with my right hearing...I havent wore hearing aid for over a year bez the hearing aid was old...

Finally, I have an appt to see audiologist this Friday for hearing test and getting a new hearing aid!!! :D This idiot VR Counselor refused to provide/pay hearing aid for me last year but now she is willing to pay for it..:roll: I cant believe that I had to wait that long!!

Yes, I am proud that my parents made the choice for me to go speech thearpist...proud that they encouraged me to learn how to play piano..they did try to encourage me to leave hearing school and join back to deaf mainstreaming school when I was teenager but I refused...I look back and realized that I should have gone to deaf mainstreaming school instead! Its not their fault..it was my decision to make...

However, they made bad choice for stopping signing to me at home when I was 8 years old...this idiot deaf ed teacher told them it was best for them to stop signing at home, teach me learn to lip read and talk and for me to continue sign at school...:roll: My parents thought it was good decision but later in life..they regret it!

My parents are wonderful parents and I understand that every parents who tries to make decisions for their child...they tend to think it was the best decision until later in life, they regret or happy with it...that is part of life..
 
Interesting thread...

I took me until I was in my early twenties to accept myself as I was. One who was HOH and did well with a HA and pretty much lived in the hearing world. I was fortunate that in school while being mainstreamed that I was pretty much left alone since I did well enough both academically and in sports. I considered that a blessing looking back as I never really experienced the peer pressure that most students felt during those times.

My parents raised me to be oral and that provided me with what I needed to survive. Sure, it was hard but it paid off at the end.
 
^Angel^ said:
I lost my hearing at the age of 5 from illness, and started wearing hearing aids, I grew up hard of hearing until I slowy start losing more of my hearing by the time I reach high school, and I decide not to wear my hearing aids anymore....A couple years later when my first son was born and I wanted to hear my son's laughters and his voices, but couldn't afford to get new hearing aids, and my health insurance will only covers for cochlear implants and it is very difficult for me to read people's lips sometimes so I decide to give it a try, made an appointment to learn more about cochlear implants, I went to see my doctor and an audiologist, I remember I had a hearing test being done, and the doctor told me I wasn't candidates for implants because I lost most of my hearing as he says, but from that day on, I didn't bother going for a second opinion, cause I didn't know much about cochlear implants back then as I do now....


There are times I accept my own deafness but there are others times I wish I could hear because I don't remember what it was like back then when I was young to the point where I could actually hear sounds, and people talking in the background, and music, etc.....now I could never know what my children really sounds like, and even my family and Roadrunner always tell me how cute it sounds when I giggles, and the sad part is I can't hear it myself, and only that I wish I could...
Click to expand...

Angel, Have you tried with VR Counselor? They should help to pay hearing aid for you! The VR are required to help us like hearing aid, services, etc...
 
It took me YEARS to come to terms with the fact that I am hoh. When I was little, I thought that I was the only kid in the entire world who was hoh. I hated my hearing aids, hated people making fun of my voice. When I was fifteen I opted for surgery (I have a conductive loss due to no ear canals) It intially worked but then failed.....and I am glad it failed. I realize now I just hadn't come to terms with the fact that I am hoh.
 
I just gotta say that this is an incredible thread! I know I will face these issues when my daughter gets older.
Before I continue, I will say that this thread is slightly off topic. I cannot talk about this from first hand experience because I am not deaf/hoh. But I can talk about how I plan on approaching this topic when my daughter realizes that she is different than most other kids.
Here is how I plan on approaching the issue. Please feel free to let me know if you all think this is a wrong approach. Afterall, You have walked a mile in my daughters shoes, while I can only imagine the foot steps.
Through my own personal experiences/observations in life, I have come to the conclusion that everyone in life has major obstacles/hurdles to cross. Whether it be deaf, victim of violent crime, the death of a loved one, atc.
With that being said, you have two choices from the point of realization. You can take the self pity whoa is me route and use your situation as a crutch that you use to hobble through life, or you can take that situation and learn from it and make you a stronger, better person.
Besides, if someone cannot accept you because of who and what you are, screw them. They are a narrow mind ignorant fool.
Does that seem to be a decent approach?
 
That's kind of my philosophy. I feel like God has a reason, I just need to find out what it is. I grew up hearing; probably began losing my hearing in high school (I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back now, I can pick out strange occurances that could be explained by hearing loss). It wasn't that difficult for me to accept that I was losing my hearing -- 2 of my sisters have a similar progressive-type loss, and my mother has a cousin who has been deaf since birth. It's been harder for me to try to discover how to become a deaf person, where to find devices and other things to compensate for my hearing loss. And even though I am now deaf, and don't mind telling hearing people that I'm deaf, I still feel a little weird telling Deaf people I'm deaf. It's like they won't accept me as a Deaf person because I still have to do most of my communicating thru speaking and hearing/lipreading (but I'm learning ASL as fast as I can!!!)
 
Cheri said:
When you were born deaf, hard of hearing when you first recovered that you're deaf or hard of hearing or had a hearing loss develops in later life,

How long did it took you to accept yourself? Do you still accepting the fact that you're who you are today and for life? Or have you not accepted yourself for who you are?


Are you proud of the choices that your parents made for you? Example: Education, Your social skills, Your ability to communicate.
Click to expand...
Did you mean to say "discovered" instead of "recovered"

I was fully aware that I couldn't hear while growing up from 1 yrs old to now... as I was growing up, my mother said the reason I was deaf is because she had rubella. I am like ahh... bummer... wish I could hear... thank goodness for rubella vaccine that will wipe out german measles/rubella so..

how come no one is protesting against this vaccine because it will lessen the number of deaf people who became deaf from that?

and the advancement in health field in area of vaccine will lessen everything when the wipe out those diseases.

I don't regret those decisions my parent made for me. just one small wish is that I wish they didn't send me to all those schools in different states but remain in one state that is HERE! but we can't help it because my dad needed the job in order for my family to survive so therefore we have to move anyway.

when I was growing up, there was nothing to determine whether or not I should accept or not accept my deafness. I am what I am. I grew up that way... what's the point of accepting it. that is for late deafened folks to say that not congenital deaf folks like me.

wishing that I can hear doesn't mean I don't accept. again what's the point of accepting it? since I knew how I am deaf. rubella that is... rubella is nasty beast! rubella does not just make one deaf, it does kill.

well, that's all I have to say :)
 
Cheri said:
How long did it took you to accept yourself?
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It took about a year before I would actually admit it. Another few months before I accepted it. A few more months before I started living it. I can clarify the definitions if you'd like, but I'm intentionally vague.

Cheri said:
Do you still accepting the fact that you're who you are today and for life?
Click to expand...

Being hard of hearing has given me insight that hearing people do not have. It has also given me insight that deaf people do not have. I accept who I am. It inspires me, it gives me a goal in my life. I am proud of who I am, what I am, and why I am. I am happy to not be deaf or hearing, but have the experience and insight of both. It makes me a better, more experienced person and I thank God for it.

Cheri said:
Are you proud of the choices that your parents made for you? Example: Education, Your social skills, Your ability to communicate.
Click to expand...

I wish I was exposed to ASL at a younger age (and possibly supplied with hearing aids), but I do not regret my past or the way I was raised. If I could do it all again, there would be subtle adjustments I'd have made, but the big stuff would have stayed the same.
 
My mom had rubella while she was pregnant with my sister. That sister has had no hearing in her right ear since she was born. But now she is one of the sisters who is losing her hearing in her left ear, like me. Rubella causes many disabilities, not just deafness. I guess that's why there's not so much complaining about the vaccine.
 
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