Responsibility for children

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ClearSky

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Do you place some responsibility on your children? Such as cleaning up their room, toys, wash dishes, get out the garbage, mow the lawn?

I see many moms and dads do everything for their kids and that includes finances saying they want their children to have what they didn't have when it comes to buying them a Prada purse or the latest tv games, high end clothes, etc.

Most of all, do you place some household responsibility on your children?

I have a family who never gave her daughters responsibility. They are now adults and rely on their mothers even after moving out financially and washing their clothes, etc. She cannot say, "no" to her daughters. You would think that after you move out, you claim responsibility to handle your adult life by yourself, right?

I know that parents do help out their kids when it's needed but not at the expense of their irresponsibility.
 
Yes, our children (now adults) had a routine to tidy their rooms, make their beds, wash & wipe the dishes daily, but to clean the bathroom and vacuum the floors once a week. The 3 of them would take turns in different chores.

The 2 youngest are still living with us but when hubby & I go away for holidays, we know the house is in capable hands. They can also cook, launder and iron. We taught them the basics of housework, mowing and car maintenance. :)
 
i have 2 boys(11 and 6) and they are responsible for putting away clean clothes and cleaning their rooms. they also help feed the pets and usually help where needed if asked. my oldest likes to help bring in groceries( 6 year old thiks he helps so we let him!!!) :giggle:
 
ClearSky said:
Do you place some responsibility on your children? Such as cleaning up their room, toys, wash dishes, get out the garbage, mow the lawn?

I see many moms and dads do everything for their kids and that includes finances saying they want their children to have what they didn't have when it comes to buying them a Prada purse or the latest tv games, high end clothes, etc.

Most of all, do you place some household responsibility on your children?

I have a family who never gave her daughters responsibility. They are now adults and rely on their mothers even after moving out financially and washing their clothes, etc. She cannot say, "no" to her daughters. You would think that after you move out, you claim responsibility to handle your adult life by yourself, right?

I know that parents do help out their kids when it's needed but not at the expense of their irresponsibility.
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I have no children, but I have a niece and nephew. They are ages 6 1/2 and 8 yo.

They are responsible for cleaning up their room and doing their HW. Once in awhile, they are also asked to help set the table or help unload the dishwasher. The kitchen duties aren't required of them, but once in awhile, they'll ask to help and my sister will let them.

I think this is good as it teaches responsiblity and will prepare them for later on in life.
 
mostly kids always help parents clean their rooms,kitchens and taking trash out doing as chores and also kids dont doing on chores!

im tell ya
 
This should be in the parenting forum. I meant to do that!

Anyway, I see the opposite. I see many parents doing things for their kids. I see few kids helping out, and when the parent speak out about their children, they start talking about cleaning up their mess that is the kid's responsibility.

I have seen very few kids mow the lawn.

It's great when parents place responsibility on their children because that's what parents are for to teach their kids when they grow up not to be selfish. It's also a relief for parents when they have so much to do and they have kids to help out.
 
my old good friend who has four sisters; all five girls doing almost everything for their parents! the youngest was 7 - she once volunteerly put soiled dinner plate into sink for me. a great, admirable family I tell ya, no complains or orders. I hope do the same for our family. not to mention I wished the mother and father were my parents.
 
Growing up, I did not realize that I had a "unique" style of parenting. My room was always tidy and clean. I'd found that other families did not have that same rule and was confused.

My parents grew up within a deaf school (i.e., institution) and had institution principles. Room not clean? Schedule not followed? "I disown you!"

The hearing counterparts of my family had very different values. Foreign to me. Still, by childhood conditioning, I continue to keep my room tidy and clean. Sanitation is a must. Health is a greater value above all.

I thank my parents for that . . . or should I thank the institution? I am still appalled when I see others who do not follow. Conditioning.
 
I always had chores, but not a lot.

At work, I'd see parents carry all grocery bags and their kids didn't lift a finger to help. I thought their parents should make them carry the lighter bags.

I always helped mum with shopping.
 
Miss-Delectable said:
I always had chores, but not a lot.

At work, I'd see parents carry all grocery bags and their kids didn't lift a finger to help. I thought their parents should make them carry the lighter bags.

I always helped mum with shopping.
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Speaking of the devil..I had my daughter help me carry the groceries in the house. She carried the light bags. :)


I tell my 2 year old son to clean up his toys and put them away. No problems there.
 
shel90 said:
Speaking of the devil..I had my daughter help me carry the groceries in the house. She carried the light bags. :)


I tell my 2 year old son to clean up his toys and put them away. No problems there.
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Will you be my Mommy? :lol:
 
I raised my own son with the understanding that he was a member of our family, and in a family, all members contribute to the effort needed to maintain that family.
 
shel90 said:
Speaking of the devil..I had my daughter help me carry the groceries in the house. She carried the light bags. :)


I tell my 2 year old son to clean up his toys and put them away. No problems there.
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Good for you. Your children will learn personal responsibility as a result.
 
jillio said:
Good for you. Your children will learn personal responsibility as a result.
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I wish I can say that..my 11 year-old daughter is very irresponsible with her things. She is always losing her ipod and her cell phone until she finally lost her ipod for good a few months ago. I am always yelling at her to clean up her room. She is so reckless with her personal belongings. Guess what? I warned her about leaving her new back-to-school shoes that I had just bought her a few days ago around for the dog to chew on. Well, this morning, sure enough, one of her new shoes was found all chewed up.

It is frustrating cuz she lives with my ex hubby full time and according to my ex's ex girlfriend, he spoils her rotten because she is his little princess. He asked me to help pay half for a new laptop for her and I said "No because u asked me to buy her the ipod for Xmas and she has already lost it." She hasnt shown me enough responsibility so why buy her a fancy laptop? He said she needs it for school...so I told him she can go to the library for Internet access like many kids do. I also told him if her school requires her to have a personal laptop then the school pays for it but I refuse to give a dollar for a laptop when she hasnt shown the capability of valuing her possessions. He called me a neglectful mother. Fine whatever.

I am not buying her another pair of new shoes..she hasnt woken up and hasnt seen it. Let her learn her lesson the hard way.
 
shel90 said:
I wish I can say that..my 11 year-old daughter is very irresponsible with her things. She is always losing her ipod and her cell phone until she finally lost her ipod for good a few months ago. I am always yelling at her to clean up her room. She is so reckless with her personal belongings. Guess what? I warned her about leaving her new back-to-school shoes that I had just bought her a few days ago around for the dog to chew on. Well, this morning, sure enough, one of her new shoes was found all chewed up.

It is frustrating cuz she lives with my ex hubby full time and according to my ex's ex girlfriend, he spoils her rotten because she is his little princess. He asked me to help pay half for a new laptop for her and I said "No because u asked me to buy her the ipod for Xmas and she has already lost it." She hasnt shown me enough responsibility so why buy her a fancy laptop? He said she needs it for school...so I told him she can go to the library for Internet access like many kids do. I also told him if her school requires her to have a personal laptop then the school pays for it but I refuse to give a dollar for a laptop when she hasnt shown the capability of valuing her possessions. He called me a neglectful mother. Fine whatever.

I am not buying her another pair of new shoes..she hasnt woken up and hasnt seen it. Let her learn her lesson the hard way.
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You've got an even harder job because you have to counteract what your ex is teaching her. That's tough. You are anything but neglectful. You are taking the time and making the effort to teach her responsibility even though it means a harder job for you. Neglectful is not teaching a child the lessons they need to live an independent life.

I know what you mean about having to stay on her. My son didn't always do his chores willingly, either. He went through periods where he would say things like, "So and so doesn't have to take out the trash or put the dishes away!" I'd just tell him that so-and-so wasn't a member of our family, but if he was, he would certainly have chores, too. Many was the day I felt like it would be easier to just do it myself. But that doesn't help a child learn resposnibility for themselves. Sometimes, I even had to give him a choice. "You can either clean you room now, or you can get up an hour early tomorrow and do it before school...your choice. When you do it can be negotiated. Whether or not you do it can't."
 
jillio said:
You've got an even harder job because you have to counteract what your ex is teaching her. That's tough. You are naything but neglectful. You are taking the time and making the effort to teach her responsibility even though it means a harder job for you. Neglectful is not teaching a child the lessons they need to live an independent life.

I know what you mean about having to stay on her. My son didn't always do his chores willingly, either. He went through periods where he would say things like, "So and so doesn't have to take out the trash or put the dishes away!" I'd just tell him that so-and-so wasn't a member of our family, but if he was, he would certainly have chores, too. Many was the day I felt like it would be easier to just do it myself. But that doesn't help a child learn resposnibility for themselves. Sometimes, I even had to give him a choice. "You can either clean you room now, or you can get up an hour early tomorrow and do it before school...your choice. When you do it can be negotiated. Whether or not you do it can't."
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Yea..Oh well...I will let u know her reaction when she wakes up to find her new trendy shoe all chewed up.
 
jillio said:
I bet it won't be pretty!:giggle: Oh, well. Hopefully, lesson learned.
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Her daddy will blame me and buy her even fancier shoes..I wouldnt be surprised if he did that cuz he has done that many times before.
 
shel90 said:
Her daddy will blame me and buy her even fancier shoes..I wouldnt be surprised if he did that cuz he has done that many times before.
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Arrrgghhhh! He is trying to buy her affection. Wrong move for a parent!
 
jillio said:
Arrrgghhhh! He is trying to buy her affection. Wrong move for a parent!
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I gotta admit..I am surprised that he turned out to be the kind of parent he is. Nothing I can do about it.
 
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