Responsibility for children

shel, I think you're being responsible by saying no. Stick to your guns and you won't regret it. I am sorry things are much harder since your ex-husband is with her full-time. It's normal to rebel due to parental differences. I know what you mean, but stick to your guns. You know what you're doing. Trust me. Just make sure that in your house the rules are your rules.

jillio, it's normal to have kids rebel once in awhile because they see so and so not doing it, but they'll get it later. Stick to your rules.

I sometimes wonder if kids would be less in trouble today if parents gave kids some responsibility.
 
shel90 said:
I gotta admit..I am surprised that he turned out to be the kind of parent he is. Nothing I can do about it.
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Nope, unfortunately, you can't change him, and that makes your job as her mother even harder. But if you stick to your guns, you'll see the good results for your daughter.
 
ClearSky said:
shel, I think you're being responsible by saying no. Stick to your guns and you won't regret it. I am sorry things are much harder since your ex-husband is with her full-time. It's normal to rebel due to parental differences. I know what you mean, but stick to your guns. You know what you're doing. Trust me. Just make sure that in your house the rules are your rules.

jillio, it's normal to have kids rebel once in awhile because they see so and so not doing it, but they'll get it later. Stick to your rules.

I sometimes wonder if kids would be less in trouble today if parents gave kids some responsibility.
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Agreed, Clearsky. Rebellion is normal. It is how they begin to separate as individual beings. My son is all grown up now, but I can see where sticking to my rules has paid off. He knows how to keep a clean house, to cook for himself, and to take responsibility for his own actions.

I think that more responsibility at home would definately lead to less trouble for kids. Learning personal responsibility translates into social responsibility.
 
I asked my son to clean his his room, help me carry groceries in, unload the dishwasher and put dirty in (we help together), pick up his dirty clothes and put in hamper or in piles, and take trash out. He sometimes likes to refill dog food and water. :)
 
jillio said:
I bet it won't be pretty!:giggle: Oh, well. Hopefully, lesson learned.
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I was on top of the stairs on the 2nd floor and she stood in the middle of the stairway with this sad look on her face holding up her chewed up shoes. She just stood there like that for a good 30 secs and I said "Well?" She ran off to her bedroom (on the first floor) and slammed the door. I think she is crying.
 
ClearSky said:
shel, I think you're being responsible by saying no. Stick to your guns and you won't regret it. I am sorry things are much harder since your ex-husband is with her full-time. It's normal to rebel due to parental differences. I know what you mean, but stick to your guns. You know what you're doing. Trust me. Just make sure that in your house the rules are your rules.

jillio, it's normal to have kids rebel once in awhile because they see so and so not doing it, but they'll get it later. Stick to your rules.

I sometimes wonder if kids would be less in trouble today if parents gave kids some responsibility.
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Thanks, Clearsky. Yep, I stick to my guns and my current hubby helps a lot too. He is very strict with her.
 
I say beat 'em! Beat 'em so hard that they won't ever forget!

Didn't do the dishes? Get the belt!

Didn't take out the trash? Boy, you best be gettin' your mama a switch!

Dirty room? A few knocks of the rollin' pin will set your mind straight!

Children should be seen, not heard.
 
Wokamuka said:
I say beat 'em! Beat 'em so hard that they won't ever forget!

Didn't do the dishes? Get the belt!

Didn't take out the trash? Boy, you best be gettin' your mama a switch!

Dirty room? A few knocks of the rollin' pin will set your mind straight!

Children should be seen, not heard.
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My husband goes by the saying "Put the fear in them." He was raised that way.
 
shel90 said:
I was on top of the stairs on the 2nd floor and she stood in the middle of the stairway with this sad look on her face holding up her chewed up shoes. She just stood there like that for a good 30 secs and I said "Well?" She ran off to her bedroom (on the first floor) and slammed the door. I think she is crying.
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Maybe when she realizes that you are not going to give in to her tears, she will be ready to listen to your reasons.
 
LOL, you guys are funny. Yep, a little fear is good.

I do feel really bad about my aunt giving in to her daughters consequences and doing their adult chores and finances. I helped her fold laundry once on vacation and she asked, you help your mom fold laundry? Yep! I didn't mind. I wanted to help. It didn't feel like a chore to me. We laughed that the dog would sleep on top of the clean laundry. She thought that when they grew up they'd do it. Nope, not true. I feel really bad because she's not raising babies anymore, and she deserves respect.
 
I give both of my children age-appropriate "chores." My youngest is only 2 years old,but she knows how to put her toys back into the toy box and bins. She also loves to use a baby wipe and "clean" the table and wall. My oldest does simple chores such as putting toys away, help me make her bed, etc. When she turns 7, I will start giving her an allowance once a week.

With that said, my oldest daughter swears she is like poor ol' Cinderella. Good grief!
 
I had seen some little children were laying on the floor at a doctor's office and at a food store. I was so mad to see the parents to let them like that. You know the floors are always full of germs that they could get sick. I wanted to whip the parents to wake up and look at the children on the floor!

Some parents are so lazy to know that their children are on the dirty floor.

I think that it is especially for the fathers who drinks beers and talk with men without focusing on his kids once a while. It is so easy for a kid to be disappeared in one minute.

It is okay for the kids to be on the floor at home which seems not too bad as long as the floor is clean.

How we can tell a person if her/his kid is on the dirty floor?
 
deafbajagal said:
I give both of my children age-appropriate "chores." My youngest is only 2 years old,but she knows how to put her toys back into the toy box and bins.
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My little ones are 3.5 and almost 2. The oldest helps put the plastic into the bin outside, feed the dogs with my help, picks up her room and the main room when toys are all over the place. Sometimes when I'm prepping food, she helps.

Both of them like to help with the dishwasher. They are adorable when they do this. They also put their dishes in the sink without my asking them to!! I'm so proud of my little ones.

Not much work for my younger one except for getting things or putting away when I ask.:aw:
 
When I grew up, it was expected to have my room clean and bed made. I of course had chores such as loading dishwasher or unloading dishwasher, vacuum the carpets and that kind of stuff. But By the time I started high school, I was expected to do my own laundry, fix my own dinner, do my own homework, keep up with my room (to be spotless) and that kind of stuff. My stepsisters and I always had to clean the house every Saturday, and it takes us three hours to clean it with three of us!!

But of course, we get allowances for doing the chores and we also get paid for good grades, like we would get five dollars for each A we get in report cards...that's how they get us to do our work and how to have us study good to get good grades on report cards.

I'm gonna have my son learn the way I did learn, to grow up and have responsibility. But the only different change I wouldn't do that my parents did, is give money for good grades. I want him to do good because he wants to learn, not because of the money. Another thing is I wouldn't have my kids do all the house work like my parents forced me and my stepsisters do all the house work while my parents just work 12 hours a day during the week and on weekends they just take off to vacations.
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:
When I grew up, it was expected to have my room clean and bed made. I of course had chores such as loading dishwasher or unloading dishwasher, vacuum the carpets and that kind of stuff. But By the time I started high school, I was expected to do my own laundry, fix my own dinner, do my own homework, keep up with my room (to be spotless) and that kind of stuff. My stepsisters and I always had to clean the house every Saturday, and it takes us three hours to clean it with three of us!!

But of course, we get allowances for doing the chores and we also get paid for good grades, like we would get five dollars for each A we get in report cards...that's how they get us to do our work and how to have us study good to get good grades on report cards.

I'm gonna have my son learn the way I did learn, to grow up and have responsibility. But the only different change I wouldn't do that my parents did, is give money for good grades. I want him to do good because he wants to learn, not because of the money. Another thing is I wouldn't have my kids do all the house work like my parents forced me and my stepsisters do all the house work while my parents just work 12 hours a day during the week and on weekends they just take off to vacations.
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OOOH I am so with u on that one! My daughter tells me that my ex gives her money for good grades. I totally F**** cking hate that and so against it.
 
webexplorer said:
I had seen some little children were laying on the floor at a doctor's office and at a food store. I was so mad to see the parents to let them like that. You know the floors are always full of germs that they could get sick. I wanted to whip the parents to wake up and look at the children on the floor!

Some parents are so lazy to know that their children are on the dirty floor.

I think that it is especially for the fathers who drinks beers and talk with men without focusing on his kids once a while. It is so easy for a kid to be disappeared in one minute.

It is okay for the kids to be on the floor at home which seems not too bad as long as the floor is clean.

How we can tell a person if her/his kid is on the dirty floor?
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My 2 year old throws himself on the floor when he has his tantrums..doesnt matter where we are at and I am not gonna pick him up everytime he has a trantrum so I leave him there until he calms down and then I tell him let's go. If I pick him up each time he throws himself on the floor, I would be reinforcing his tantrums. Besides, sometimes my hands are full..if I pick him up by the hand, he would let his legs go limp and he is VERY heavy. It is not that simple.
 
shel90 said:
My 2 year old throws himself on the floor when he has his tantrums..doesnt matter where we are at and I am not gonna pick him up everytime he has a trantrum so I leave him there until he calms down and then I tell him let's go. If I pick him up each time he throws himself on the floor, I would be reinforcing his tantrums. Besides, sometimes my hands are full..if I pick him up by the hand, he would let his legs go limp and he is VERY heavy. It is not that simple.
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Oh, brother, I can understand that. I had that problem with my niece at her house a long time ago. It drained my energy to deal with her when I was a babysitter.

Perhaps, a fake candy that would fool him to get up.
 
shel90 said:
My 2 year old throws himself on the floor when he has his tantrums..doesnt matter where we are at and I am not gonna pick him up everytime he has a trantrum so I leave him there until he calms down and then I tell him let's go. If I pick him up each time he throws himself on the floor, I would be reinforcing his tantrums. Besides, sometimes my hands are full..if I pick him up by the hand, he would let his legs go limp and he is VERY heavy. It is not that simple.
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I'm with you on that one. Ignore the bad behavior---and it will decrease.
 
shel90 said:
My 2 year old throws himself on the floor when he has his tantrums..doesnt matter where we are at and I am not gonna pick him up everytime he has a trantrum so I leave him there until he calms down and then I tell him let's go. If I pick him up each time he throws himself on the floor, I would be reinforcing his tantrums. Besides, sometimes my hands are full..if I pick him up by the hand, he would let his legs go limp and he is VERY heavy. It is not that simple.
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I solved the tantrum problem by getting so frustrated one day that I threw myself on the floor beside my son and started kicking and screaming. Shocked him so that he never threw another one!:giggle:
 
jillio said:
I solved the tantrum problem by getting so frustrated one day that I threw myself on the floor beside my son and started kicking and screaming. Shocked him so that he never threw another one!:giggle:
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I wondered where our TV commercial source came from! it was exactly as described. :laugh2: :laugh2:
 
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