question about nightmare..

typeingtornado19 said:
Not just adults. Other kids are capable of a lot. They can hurt and leave scars just as much.
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I agree. I had one experience at one school. It got so bad that I had to leave that school. The kid was actually several months younger then me although we were both in the same year.
 
dreama said:
I agree. I had one experience at one school. It got so bad that I had to leave that school. The kid was actually several months younger then me although we were both in the same year.
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I'm sorry. Its also amazing how no teachers pay attention to stuff like that. They dont care.
 
hi everyone,

i'm home from my therapy appointment and it went extremely well.

i shared the letter i wrote to my therapist (we only had time to discuss my first letter) and not to brag, but he was very impressed with how well it was written and told me it was one of the best letters he had ever seen. he also mentioned that the anger i felt towards this person came across clearly in my letter. next week he wants me to bring the second letter i wrote.

we also talked about the person who threatened my life and i mentioned my difficulty writing a letter to that individual. he said that was perfectly okay and to only write the letter when and if i'm ready.

i was afraid of too many emotions and flashbacks pouring out today, but while he read my letter aloud, i concentrated on the words so as not to drift out of reality having a flashback.

since the writing exercise worked so well, i think i'm going to approach all of the remaining exercises the same way. writing these letters proved to be very therapeutic and healing. what my therapist suggested i do was instead of burning these letters that i keep them so i can re-read them whenever i feel angry, hurt, guilty or sad.

speaking of sadness, he told me how sad my letter made him feel since he could relate to the things i wrote (although i'd rather not mention how). it will be interesting to see what he thinks about my second letter.

i'll keep all of you updated as to how next week's appointment goes.
 
dreama said:
I totally agree. Even Deafblindness is a walk in the park next to mental health problems.
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that's exactly how i describe deafblindness in relation to my bipolar and now, ptsd. i'd take deafblindness any day over bipolar and ptsd.
 
Nika said:
Sorry, I don't know where else to post this.

I started classes today and one of my professors triggered me so badly! He even lectured about one of the forms of trauma I had. I spent the entire class being strongly dissociated. He's my psychology professor of all subjects. How ironic.

<panicking>
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i'm sorry, nika. that must have been extremely difficult for you. <sad>
 
Nika said:
Oh no! Please don't retraumatize yourself! <sad> How are you feeling today? I hope writing the letter didn't bring up material you're not ready to face yet. Hope you're doing all right, Hear Again. <hugs>
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thanks, nika. i'm doing fine today after having talked to my therapist. i've done some contemplating and i don't think i'm going to write a letter to the person who threatened my life. trying to do so just brings up too many memories. if there ever comes a time when i'm ready to write a letter, fine. if not, that's okay too because i refuse to force myself to do something i'm not ready to do.
 
Hear Again said:
thanks, nika. i'm doing fine today after having talked to my therapist. i've done some contemplating and i don't think i'm going to write a letter to the person who threatened my life. trying to do so just brings up too many memories. if there ever comes a time when i'm ready to write a letter, fine. if not, that's okay too because i refuse to force myself to do something i'm not ready to do.
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Sounds like a good plan, Hear Again. You're so good at taking the signs and acting on observations. This world needs more people like you. <smile>
 
Nika said:
Sounds like a good plan, Hear Again. You're so good at taking the signs and acting on observations. This world needs more people like you. <smile>
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thanks, nika! it's funny because that's exactly what my therapist and psychiatrist say about the way i handle my bipolar. they both tell me how insightful i am about my illness and how good it is that i'm able to recognize when i'm rapid cycling, manic or depressed -- and to act upon the way i feel accordingly. sometimes i do have trouble recognizing when i'm manic, but from what my therapist and psychiatrist told me, that's pretty common for people with bipolar.
 
My therapist actually said the same thing about me with my PTSD. She said she never met a patient who was as conscious of their own dissociative techniques and being triggered, etc. It's the most useful thing for me in terms of coping and healing because you have to recognize what's wrong before you can take steps to fix it.
 
nika,

i'm afraid i still don't understand what dissociation means. could you explain? thanks.

by the way, in an earlier post i mentioned that i dissociate, but on second thought, i don't know if i do or not because i'm not sure i understand the term.
 
nika,

what is a dissociative technique?

ptsd is a new diagnosis for me, so i don't understand much about it. in a way, i feel like i'm rediscovering myself again like i did after my bipolar diagnosis in 2006.
 
Oh wait that was a different thread I used it that way, my bad.

Sorry I don't mean to dump a Wiki article on you but I am not very good at explaining it (and don't want to be attacked for not explaining it well either).
 
is dissociation the same thing as having an auditory hallucination? if so, i experience that often during flashbacks.
 
Not really. People with PTSD often dissociate to access flashback material, but you can also dissociate without having a flashback.
 
i don't know why i'm failing to understand what dissociation is, but i think i'll have my therapist explain it to me.

i don't know if i dissociate or not. all i know is that i experience auditory hallucinations during flashbacks.
 
Hear Again, if I were you I would ask your psychiatrist to explain it to you, or to point it out to you when you are doing it (if you do it).

The only other way I can explain is that it is a mental coping mechanism. You can feel like your body is not real, or like you are not inside your body, or your body is someone else's, or you are observing someone else's life. Physical sensations can be diminished or completely blocked out. Those are just some examples. Daydreaming is a life form a dissociation. Many people with chronic PTSD also use some form of dissociation, oftentimes stronger than daydreaming. The most extreme forms of dissociation manifest themselves as Dissociative Identity Disorder, in which a person can create two or more alters, each of them containing different memories and having their own personality patterns. With people who have two alters, often one of them contains flashback material and the other doesn't.
 
<laughs> You posted that while I was writing the post and we came up with the same suggestion (about asking your therapist).
 
i don't know if i dissociate or not. i hear voices of the people who were responsible for my traumas and sometimes hear a specific event playing over and over again in my mind which i've been told is an auditory hallucination.

i'll ask my therapist and psychiatrist about dissociation when i see them next.
 
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