Observation by a hearing person...

Calphool

Calphool

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My wife and I are learning ASL. Sometimes she comes to visit me for lunch, and we go eat a food court near my office. From time to time we'll practice sign at lunch, and we've noticed something really creepy.

People will steal little glances at you all the time when you're signing. They don't really stare exactly, but it's more like a long stare chopped up into little two or three second intervals. It's really creepy. Those of you who are native signers, do you see this as well? Doesn't it make you uncomfortable? Or, do you just eventually learn to ignore it?

It caught us off guard!

:shock:
 
Oh yes it really annoy me all times when they stare at me when i m signing to my son or my friends. I will just sign to them and say LOok at me ? huh? stop that! then say you know what? its rude to look at me and they said OH and turned away.. ha ha!
 
Yeah I know what you mean. When me & my wife sign people stare from time to time. Its ok with me though, don't bother me much. But, one time a group of young teenagers at the mall assumed we were both deaf & said "Awwww Look at the deaf & dumb people" I said very loudly "Who you calling deaf & dumb bitch??" Their eyes widen & was shocked. & Started walking the other way very fast. But the thing is, just drives me crazy when people are so disrespectful like that just because someone is deaf.
 
I sign in public, I ingore people who were stare at me. If someone keep stare at me so long time. I would sign to this person and say " You are so rude to stare at me". A person would turn away.
 
SmileyGin said:
Oh yes it really annoy me all times when they stare at me when i m signing to my son or my friends. I will just sign to them and say LOok at me ? huh? stop that! then say you know what? its rude to look at me and they said OH and turned away.. ha ha!
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hehe... while with a Deaf woman, people stared as she signed.
Her response:
she signed to them asking why they were looking at her. When she (naturally) received no response, the raised her eyebrows even more, a more stern look on her face and asked again!
Then (of course) with no response, she signed "are you deaf?"
I was about to laugh so hard and piss myself!
I had to voice to them, she's asking why they're looking at her, and asking why they don't respond and asking if you're deaf.
They were a little annoyed to which I responded "how do you think she feels?"

Though she wasn't anoyed, she was having fun.
Others have stated how nice to have a conversation across a room or table etc. without having to make any sounds - and most often - without others butting into your conversations.
This draws interest
 
Calphool said:
My wife and I are learning ASL. Sometimes she comes to visit me for lunch, and we go eat a food court near my office. From time to time we'll practice sign at lunch, and we've noticed something really creepy.

People will steal little glances at you all the time when you're signing. They don't really stare exactly, but it's more like a long stare chopped up into little two or three second intervals. It's really creepy. Those of you who are native signers, do you see this as well? Doesn't it make you uncomfortable? Or, do you just eventually learn to ignore it?

It caught us off guard!

:shock:
Click to expand...

It does happen a lot, and I've learned to just ignore them. A lot of the times, they're just curious and probably haven't seen someone sign before. But I have encountered some really rude college kids who will mock your signing, but it rarely happens. I recall that in college, I was signing with my ex roomie and my interpreter. There was a few college kids behind me who was mocking my sign, and I didn't see it. However, my interpreter saw it and ripped them a new one.

Basically, just ignore them.
 
Welcome to the signing world....
This is gonna happen all the time. Most people are just curious and/or ignorant, some are rude, a few are other signers-but, all of them stare. Interpreters deal with it in classes and other public venues, deaf people (and hearing signers) deal with it everywhere they go. Sometimes it's fun to hear the comments that come along with it, sometimes, if u can hear them, you wish you couldn't.
When people openly gape, you can just look at them and wave hi, or stare back as they have. The former seems to help society more altogether, but the latter can be a lot more fun.
 
Happens frequently. I ignore it, realizing whatever is going through their head is usually purely curiosity rather than animosity. It's like they are children looking at a new world or person for the first time, staring because they are fascinated with it.
Sign language is also taboo in hearing society, because they are not accustomed to seeing it and same goes when they approach and talk to a deaf person unaware of the person being deaf. They are immediately at a loss of reaction as to what to do when they discover they're facing something totally unexpected.
 
For me, as a Deaf man.....

I usually cut the kids some slack since they don't know any better and I don't bother them and leave them alone. If the kids are with their parents then naturally, the parents will take care of it themselves and correct the kids to not stare, sure they can look if they are curious about sign language but not to stare please because that is better manners. Also, I have more of an excepation for the adults and the ones that are obivously older teenagers to know better. I have had women with their babies come up to tell me they are learning sign language. That is great and obivously I am a man so I don't have any interest in babies and I just nod respectfully and there is another reason why, the women usually are married or they have a guy in their life because of the baby so that is out too but it is nice to see people are learning sign language. It does get tiresome sometimes just to have the women with their babies come up to tell me they are learning sign language and that is fine. I am sure Deaf women would take more of an interest in the babies and the women, sit down for coffee and just chat , teaching ASL and having fun, maybe the Deaf woman has a baby of her own which will make great friends with the woman's baby. Really, I am a guy so there is no interest for me another than to say hi, cool awesome then be on my way minding my own business. I am sure some of the Deaf guys have gone through the same thing and it can get pretty tiresome when we have more important things to do with our day. No offense here. This is from a Deaf man's point of view.
 
Starry eyed peeps

Yes, I have had that happen whenever I am out in public with my friends or my husband. Most of the time we are too engrossed in the conversation to take notice but sometimes I get the feeling that there are eyes on me so I would scan around and when I catch the guilty party, I go "BBBBOOO!!!!" . I only do that when I am feeling silly but for the most part, I ignore them.

As for people mocking my signs, I mock them back by moving my lips in a weird way...like a reverse pychology thing...hehehehe.

One time my deaf brother saw a lady just constantly staring at her and he said "excuse me..that is not polite." The lady continued to stare at him and his friends so he just jumped up and pretended to have a nervous breakdown by falling to the floor and having fake spasms and tears. That is a bit extreme to me but I guess he was fed up that day with that issue. Ha!
 
Simply turn your head... slowly around and look at the starers with a pair of wide-open eyes... and then form a grin in a very slow manner.

It'll creep them out.
 
Well, signing with anyone can cause people to stare at you. The funniest experiences involved people assuming I was deaf too and then me telling them I heard them. :D

After signing for over a year, I am used to people staring at me. You do get used to it usually, and if you're hearing, you can get a lot of funny reactions if you suddenly speak (like to a cashier) because most people assume signing=deaf. ;)
 
It has happened to me too many times whenever I am with my friends, my sons or boyfriend in the public area. It did bother me alot when I was younger but it doesn't bother me that much now because I've learned to ignore them. If they were only to have a quick glance and look back at where they were looking at, That would not bother me at all. However there are some occassions that people would constantly stare at me when I'm signing in the public. When that happens, I just turn around, look at that person in the eye and smile, giving a wave. That usually works and they would know to look away very quickly.
 
Jolie_77 said:
If they were only to have a quick glance and look back at where they were looking at, That would not bother me at all. However there are some occassions that people would constantly stare at me when I'm signing in the public. When that happens, I just turn around, look at that person in the eye and smile, giving a wave. That usually works and they would know to look away very quickly.
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I like this technique. Many times people stare because they are fascinated but, if sign language is that foreign to them, it doesn't occur to them that they are actually being rude by staring. It doesn't help them to think positively about sign language and the signing community by being rude right back to them, plus then you're behaving at their level.

Direct eye contact and a sort of "can I help you?" smile has always been my response to the overly curious.

Um...this is in casual conversation, I should point out. I'm not quite as sweet about it as an interpreter when I'm being stared -- and I mean STARED at -- in class. Sometimes there are these hearing students who I guess are bored in class (or other reasons I don't want to know) and just won't stop watching me. The first day of class I understand that some students have never seen an interpreter before, but after that, it can be hard for me to tune it out since I'm trained to be sensitized to eye contact. I've handled this a few different ways.
 
Interpretrator said:
Um...this is in casual conversation, I should point out. I'm not quite as sweet about it as an interpreter when I'm being stared -- and I mean STARED at -- in class. Sometimes there are these hearing students who I guess are bored in class (or other reasons I don't want to know) and just won't stop watching me. The first day of class I understand that some students have never seen an interpreter before, but after that, it can be hard for me to tune it out since I'm trained to be sensitized to eye contact. I've handled this a few different ways.
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I watch the interpreters in all my classes (I don't stare just peek sometimes).... Is it really that annoying? I use it to pick up signs for words i'm curious about and for the most part I can understand it anyways. I can't see it really being that annoying since most of my interpreted classes have 8+ deaf students and sometimes even as many as 20.
 
Banjo said:
Simply turn your head... slowly around and look at the starers with a pair of wide-open eyes... and then form a grin in a very slow manner.

It'll creep them out.
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...I like the way you think!
 
NFGTragedy said:
I watch the interpreters in all my classes (I don't stare just peek sometimes).... Is it really that annoying?
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Good question. There's a difference between watching and staring. There's a kind of staring some students do that is very distracting in its intensity.

Also, my situation is different from yours in that I very rarely have that many deaf students in a class. I think your interpreters probably know that lots of people in your class sign. The dynamic is different somehow when that's the case. It feels different when people are looking at me to receive linguistic information versus non-signers just staring at the freaky hand-waving.

If I know someone in the class can sign (but isn't one of the students I'm interpreting for), I never really notice if they're watching me. Does that make sense?
 
Yeah, I'm the same as Jolie.

I'm getting used to have people to stare at us. It has been act like this for a long, long time and doesn't bother me really... We ignored them and carry on as usual.

Some stared longer than limit... I look back & smile at them. Sometimes they were like :Oops:, look away quickly, smile back to us, ask us questions or said to us directly how beautiful sign language, etc...

I remember one day, we went to resturant with my hearing sons. We all sign together on the table... It got people curious how could we communicate with waiter for order something... I can see their :confused: impression and want to find out either my sons are deaf or not until they are satisfed their curious to know that my both sons are hearing and we are deaf. :giggle: We pointed our finger on the menu which we like... Teachers as well....
 
I watch the interpreters in all my classes (I don't stare just peek sometimes).... Is it really that annoying? I use it to pick up signs for words i'm curious about and for the most part I can understand it anyways.
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I do the same thing when I'm at a function that happens to be interpreted. It is a good way to see how phrases and words get translated and to pick up new vocabulary.

Interpretator - Would it be appropriate/polite to introduce yourself to the interpreter before the event or during a break, so they know why you're watching? Or just ignore the interpreter like the rest of the 'hearies'. Any thoughts about that?
 
Gobae said:
Interpretator - Would it be appropriate/polite to introduce yourself to the interpreter before the event or during a break, so they know why you're watching? Or just ignore the interpreter like the rest of the 'hearies'. Any thoughts about that?
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I had one bad experience doing this (introducing myself) when I was in my ITP and the terp was extremely snotty about the whole thing, in a kind of "Why should I deign to consort with you wannabes?" way. (It should be noted that this was at a place that I later learned was known for terps with 'tude.)

I on the other hand would love it if someone did that and would probably want to know where they're learning sign and so forth. I'd say go for it but just be prepared for a possibly unfriendly response. I also did meet some really nice and helpful interpreters that way. I had been taught that if you know sign, it's polite to let signers in the room know about it, which is why I would often talk to the interpreter about it.

Ignoring the interpreter is also fine. :) But it would probably not be much fun for you.

Really, I'm probably oversensitive about all this, not to mention having hijacked the thread to some extent since like I said, it's different for me on-duty and off-duty. I guess I feel that part of a person's education is to learn to be accepting, open-minded, and polite around different kinds of people, so it bugs me more when they gape at signers in the classroom. Whereas out in the "real world" most people are more or less idiots, so I don't expect as much of them. Me? Cynical? :angel:
 
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