No tip for gay waiter - WTF?

Ridiculous. I think they just looked for an excuse not to tip.
 
Pretty sad that people would go that low!! When I sell bikes, I have no clue on whether they are gay, bi, lesbian, or straight. I do not ask. It is not my business.

When I go to restaurant, I don't ask their sexual orientation.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Pretty sad that people would go that low!! When I sell bikes, I have no clue on whether they are gay, bi, lesbian, or straight. I do not ask. It is not my business.

When I go to restaurant, I don't ask their sexual orientation.
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Same here.
 
Bottesini said:
Ridiculous. I think they just looked for an excuse not to tip.
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I don't think so. What the couple said in the note, they meant it so they were not looking for an excuse since they said that he did an excellent job but they refused to leave a tip because he's gay. Obviously they are anti-gay supporters. In other words, if the waiter was not gay, they'd leave a tip.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Pretty sad that people would go that low!! When I sell bikes, I have no clue on whether they are gay, bi, lesbian, or straight. I do not ask. It is not my business.

When I go to restaurant, I don't ask their sexual orientation.
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I doubt that they asked if he is gay. Maybe they could tell by his appearance, behavior and/or the sound of his voice.
 
CrazyPaul said:
I doubt that they asked if he is gay. Maybe they could tell by his appearance, behavior and/or the sound of his voice.
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By the same token, I don't go into restaurants to get on a first name basis with the waitstaff just so I can determine whether or not there's something about them that says, "Do not tip". :lol:
 
CrazyPaul said:
I doubt that they asked if he is gay. Maybe they could tell by his appearance, behavior and/or the sound of his voice.
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I wouldn't say they could tell (if that's what happened). I would say they guessed. I don't think you can really tell for sure, no matter how flaming/effeminate/etc a person might seem.

I know some very gay-seeming straight men.
 
Tousi said:
By the same token, I don't go into restaurants to get on a first name basis with the waitstaff just so I can determine whether or not there's something about them that says, "Do not tip". :lol:
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You are off point. I replied to Derek who talked about asking for their sexual orientation. Customers don't ask employees, "Are you gay?" or vice versa. That's ridiculous. So I pointed out that how the couple who refused to leave a tip knew that he's gay. I was talking about that couple, not you.
 
CrazyPaul said:
I doubt that they asked if he is gay. Maybe they could tell by his appearance, behavior and/or the sound of his voice.
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Some men do appear feminine but it not mean they're gay. The waiter may had been gay or not. The only thing I am concerned about when eating out that the service and food is good. I feel bad for the guy, he did a good job and got slapped in the face instead. A photo could be taken of the people and posted in all the restaurants warning waiters and waitresses that the people do not leave tips if they think a person is gay. This way people can decide how hard they want go out for the people.
 
amylynne said:
I wouldn't say they could tell (if that's what happened). I would say they guessed. I don't think you can really tell for sure, no matter how flaming/effeminate/etc a person might seem.

I know some very gay-seeming straight men.
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I know that some gay men don't look gay. My point is that if the gay waiter doesn't look gay, the couple would leave a tip. In other words, some gay men are easily identified. I used to have many gay friends in the East. Derek talked about asking for their sexual orientation so he might think that the couple asked for his sexual orientation. :confused:
 
CrazyPaul said:
You are off point. I replied to Derek who talked about asking for their sexual orientation. Customers don't ask employees, "Are you gay?" or vice versa. That's ridiculous. So I pointed out that how the couple who refused to leave a tip knew that he's gay. I was talking about that couple, not you.
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How would any customer know someone was gay without directly asking, or having the server announce "I am gay?" Or did the customer know the server personally?

There is no way that a customer could know for a fact that someone is gay without directly asking or being told. Anything other than that is pure assumption, which could be wrong.

Tousi was not off point.
 
CrazyPaul said:
I know that some gay men don't look gay.
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Some gay men look straight, and some straight men look gay. Therefore, no one can know about a stranger's sex life from a brief look during restaurant service, unless it says, "I am Gay" on the name tag.

My point is that if the gay waiter doesn't look gay, the couple would leave a tip. In other words, some gay men are easily identified. I used to have many gay friends in the East. Derek talked about asking for their sexual orientation so he might think that the couple asked for his sexual orientation. :confused:
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If the couple did that it would be totally weird and inappropriate. The server would not be required to answer such a rude question.
 
CrazyPaul said:
I know that some gay men don't look gay. My point is that if the gay waiter doesn't look gay, the couple would leave a tip. In other words, some gay men are easily identified. I used to have many gay friends in the East. Derek talked about asking for their sexual orientation so he might think that the couple asked for his sexual orientation. :confused:
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I understand that the couple did not necessarily ask for the waiter's orientation. All I was saying is that to say that they *knew* from looking at him, that's not right. You can say they *felt* he was gay. And sometimes people are correct. But other times they're not.

Yes, some gay men seem very gay, and others can easily be taken for straight. On the other hand, some men *seem* gay but are not.

My point is that no matter how obvious it seems, we often don't know for sure, and I like to be careful how I phrase things to reflect that.

I also really like to avoid assuming anything about someone's orientation if they haven't addressed it with me, because until they do, it's none of my business.
 
The whole tip issue seems suspicious to me.

If the couple truly felt convicted about not supporting a gay person they wouldn't have even allowed him to serve them. They would have complained about having a gay server from the get go. They either would have requested management to get them another server, or they would have left the restaurant. Instead, they let him serve them the entire time without a peep. Very fishy, to me. :hmm:
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Some men do appear feminine but it not mean they're gay. The waiter may had been gay or not. The only thing I am concerned about when eating out that the service and food is good. I feel bad for the guy, he did a good job and got slapped in the face instead.
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Oh yes, he's gay. That's what the article is all about. What's more, he hasn't denied it. The couple is an ANTI-GAY supporter evidently.
 
The big question is how the hell did the anti-gay couple know that the waiter is gay?

Reba, if the couple asks for another waiter who is not gay, they would be asked to leave the premise. They knew it so that's why they didn't. Instead, they didn't leave a tip.

For example, if you hate black people, your waiter is black, so you ask for another waiter, what happens after that?
 
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CrazyPaul said:
The big question is how the hell did the anti-gay couple know that the waiter is gay?

Reba, if the couple asks for another waiter who is not gay, they would be asked to leave the premise. They knew it so that's why they didn't. Instead, they didn't leave a tip.

For example, if you hate black people, your waiter is black, so you ask for another waiter, what happens after that?
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That's why I'm saying this story is fishy. If the couple truly had a strong conviction about this they would make their stand and accept the consequences. Obviously, that wasn't the case.
 
Ugh, how terrible and close minded! Ask for a different waiter if you don't want the gay person jeeze! :roll: People are douches.... and then to have to announce it like that? Seriously.... :roll:
 
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