No longer in relationship when you break up of your way

[Frisky Feline]

Vote:

Break up right away, no matter what if the special occassions are right around the holidays.

Break up RIGHT AWAY

or

Break up AFTER the Special occassions holidays?


by the way, Happy Holidays!

 

[Bottesini]

I voted right away. I had previously thought it would be kinder after the holidays, but I saw a lot of valid concern about the hypocrisy.

 

[rockin'robin]

I'm not too sure...just thinking about the emotional turmoil during the Holidays, and the rates of suicide....Then again, breaking up is hard to do (been there)....Letting your partner down gently as you can and remaining friends if possible.....Some situations must be cut and dried immediately, tho'......so it all depends upon the situation.

And Happy Holidays to you too!

 

[needsleep]

Let down gently. My ex-fiance left me on Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. At the time, I was a disaster. He left me at the end of the day. He was full of shit all day long and it really pissed me off.

That was two years ago. I don't care about the break up now. I am still slightly ticked at him for doing it on my favorite holiday. I'd glad he DID break up with me as we're better off..he just could have done it a bit more tactfully.

 

[Rio]

I would rather know now, then waste my time and get on with my life. Holidays or no holidays, I need someone to be straight up with me. That's how I roll!

 

[VacationGuy234]

Let down gently. My ex-fiance left me on Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. At the time, I was a disaster. He left me at the end of the day. He was full of shit all day long and it really pissed me off.

That was two years ago. I don't care about the break up now. I am still slightly ticked at him for doing it on my favorite holiday. I'd glad he DID break up with me as we're better off..he just could have done it a bit more tactfully.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

[shel90]

Nah..wait until after the holidays so that way you get the gifts or get invited to the parties. Be cruel!

















j/k I think it depends on each situation. I dont think there is a black and white answer to this but if it was me, I would say..pls break up with me asap instead of stringing me along. Maybe I would feel differently if it actually does happen to me which I hope not. I dont need another divorce. One was more than enough.

 

[VamPyroX]

I guess it would depend on the reason for the break-up.

I do know that it can be awkward if you wait until after the holidays. I have a friend who decided to dump his girlfriend after Christmas... only to have it get harder when he found out she gave him an expensive present immediately upon returning from the holidays.

Doing it before the holidays may be better.

I do have a friend who did it during the holidays. During the Christmas Break, he sent his girlfriend a message via AIM dumping her. That was it.

 

[SneakerNet]

If I ever find out that she getting me something cheap gifts..yeah.I'll go ahead break up before holiday...

If I ever find out that she getting something very expensive gifts...mmm..I rather wait till after holiday.... then it will be mine mine mind!!

 

[needsleep]

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

It's ok. Better off in the long run. Better before the wedding than 20 years and 3 kids down the line, right? Too bad he didn't do it BEFORE I bought my dress. :roll:

Happier now than I ever was while I was with him. I couldn't have been with my current boyfriend if I had gotten married.


On topic, I suppose it is better to just do it and get it over with. The holiday will suck but at least they won't be lied to.

 

[authentic]

Just now, tell Santa Claus about your dream lady/gentleman and Santa Claus will bring him/her to you on December 25th.

 

[saxxykitty78]

okay to make long story short.. I dumped AL my ex like last year but he's still hung up on me so I don't text him anymore but he still eventually wants me back but he is like broken record over and over again cuz he doesn't know how to talk about new stuff just talk same old stuff over again like getting a job which he didn't find a job or go back to school yet.. pain in my a$$ but glad I dumped his a$$ last year before thanksgiving.. cuz if I waited til after thanksgiving he wud try to drag me to his boring family gathering for thanksgiving cuz NOBODY in his family wud want to chat with me so I got pissed so finally decided for good to move on I'm glad I haven't seen his mom for almost 2 years last time I saw her was on valentine's day in 2011 lol. and yep he didn't have $$ for dinner.. he asked his mom last min.. how lame.. :roll: but best news of all is his parents moved to new city so HE can't bug me every day thank god. but few times he did try to come by but I refused to answer door if nobody is around.. a week or 2 weeks ago I finally told him I love him as brothers that worked.. he stopped texting me for good lol!!!

 

[radioman]

it all depends on kind of relationship you have. it all also how much does others know about you wanting to break up. look at dereksbicycle situation -- it doesnt help that majority of ALLDEAF knows he wants to break up - esp around xmas.

needsleep brings up a good point though -- it was her favorite holiday so does her ex know this?

For me - I spent every penny I had for a girl I thought I loved for her XMAS esp on lifetime long gifts that I thought was very thoughtful but yet she broke up with me after the holidays. I was like WTF?! I swore off relationships after that and after a long time - I finally settled down after a slow,long relationship.

 

[needsleep]

needsleep brings up a good point though -- it was her favorite holiday so does her ex know this?

Oh, he knew it. We were down in ym hometown to do trick or treating with my "nieces" and my best friend was going ot come upstate to spend the night, watch movies, etc, etc. He asked if I could ask her to stay down because he had something he needed to talk to me about. I was thinking all good things. He wouldn't tell me in the car but I was all excited then when we got home he had me sit on the futon mattress, dropped the tissues down next to me and goes, "I don't want to get married." SO I lock myself in the bathroom crying my eyes out then he finally gets me out of there, sits me on the bed again and goes, "This is working out." and I took off back to the bathroom and bawled so hard I got physically sick. I knew the wasn't kidding when we were both in bed at night and I was crying, shaking and dry-heaving and he just rolled away from me and snored away. He agreed to work on it then re-dumped me a week later. I missed about a week of school and had to take not crying in sections. ("Ok, I've made it to 5 minutes, let's see if I can make it to 10...15...hour..half-day...etc" and I was constantly having to start over.) I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone!!

Even though I am over him now it is still causing me problems. I am constantly terrified that any little thing I do could somehow make Boyfriend not love me and leave (he's too good to me. Super patience, etc, etc This has got to be because to this day, I still don't know why my ex left.) and every freaking Halloween I remember how upset I was and all that stuff. I really wish he had done that to me on ANY other day than a holiday. It was horrible.


Wow, that turned into a book. Sorry! haha

 

[Bebonang]

Oh, he knew it. We were down in ym hometown to do trick or treating with my "nieces" and my best friend was going ot come upstate to spend the night, watch movies, etc, etc. He asked if I could ask her to stay down because he had something he needed to talk to me about. I was thinking all good things. He wouldn't tell me in the car but I was all excited then when we got home he had me sit on the futon mattress, dropped the tissues down next to me and goes, "I don't want to get married." SO I lock myself in the bathroom crying my eyes out then he finally gets me out of there, sits me on the bed again and goes, "This is working out." and I took off back to the bathroom and bawled so hard I got physically sick. I knew the wasn't kidding when we were both in bed at night and I was crying, shaking and dry-heaving and he just rolled away from me and snored away. He agreed to work on it then re-dumped me a week later. I missed about a week of school and had to take not crying in sections. ("Ok, I've made it to 5 minutes, let's see if I can make it to 10...15...hour..half-day...etc" and I was constantly having to start over.) I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone!!

Even though I am over him now it is still causing me problems. I am constantly terrified that any little thing I do could somehow make Boyfriend not love me and leave (he's too good to me. Super patience, etc, etc This has got to be because to this day, I still don't know why my ex left.) and every freaking Halloween I remember how upset I was and all that stuff. I really wish he had done that to me on ANY other day than a holiday. It was horrible.


Wow, that turned into a book. Sorry! haha

I am just wondering maybe your ex probably don't want to get married as he is afraid of marriage. Almost pretty much most men don't seem to want getting tied down to marriage and have family like responsibilities of taking care of you and children. Some men can handle the marriage, but like your ex, a lot of them run away from the idea of marriage. Maybe that is why he dumped you because you want to get married to him. Just my opinion and not my business.

 

[needsleep]

I am just wondering maybe your ex probably don't want to get married as he is afraid of marriage. Almost pretty much most men don't seem to want getting tied down to marriage and have family like responsibilities of taking care of you and children. Some men can handle the marriage, but like your ex, a lot of them run away from the idea of marriage. Maybe that is why he dumped you because you want to get married to him. Just my opinion and not my business.

He's the one who asked me! I think you're right though--he's afraid of any commitment to another person. Whatever. I do hope he's happy whatever he decides to do. None of my business anymore either!