Need clarification

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matsuyo

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Hi

I know a deaf person for 3 months now. The friendship isn’t positive as this person always said: I (hearing) do not understand the deaf culture. I don’t know if it’s truly a deaf culture issue or it’s this deaf person’s culture.

Incident 1:
When I knew this deaf person for 2 weeks through chat rooms, we have not met, this deaf person asked if she could borrow my car. Honestly, in my context I won’t borrow someone’s car whom I’ve not met and only know for 2 weeks. So I asked this deaf person what’s the purpose of borrowing my car? The reply is so that she can go clubbing with her friends without having to hire a cab late at night. Frankly, I find her reason rather lame. Anyway, this deaf person has a brother who has a car, the brother didn’t want to lend her the car because she haven’t driven for ages. So I text the deaf person, she’s not familiar with my car and the route, is she sure she wanna borrow? The reply from her is, her friend will be by her side to guide her. I’m amused with her reply; she should ask me to sit beside her since it’s my car and not her friend! So I told her no I won’t lend her my car. Her reply was her deaf friend’s friend will lend the car and I won’t. And she became unhappy that I don’t wish to lend her my car.

Incident 2:
This deaf person only does text message (MSN/Facebook/emails/mobile phones/through pen and paper) as she doesn’t want to lip read. There was once, she text me that our common friend is making use of me and I should be aware. So I asked this deaf person to show me the proof since it’s via MSN. Fortunately, there was the log file and found that there was no such thing; the common friend wasn’t making use of anybody. Later the deaf girl re-read the log file and found that she mis-interprets. Thankfully, I didn’t jump the gun and confronted the common friend. Otherwise things would be ugly. Another incident, I made a comment that if she (the deaf person) decides to end her life, I will not stop her as it’s her life and she has the freedom to live or die. Her text reply was ‘you want me to die is it?’ I was taken aback as I didn’t mean I wanted her die. There were several other incidents whereby this deaf person misunderstood my meaning. Is it because a deaf person’s English is different from a hearing person’s English, hence a deaf person’s understanding is different?

Incident 3:
This deaf person screams her unhappiness on Facebook and MSN subject all the time. Minor unhappiness she will post it out. I find it quite dramatic and an attention seeker. Is it true that in the deaf culture, the deaf person must post out every single feeling? Also, she’s always posting on MSN/Facebook, things that she want. Eg; ‘I want an E72 but no money to buy. Can someone buy for me for Xmas or my birthday?’ Personally, it makes herself sound very hard up for the things she want, so much that she’s begging by hinting on Facebook and MSN. Is it a deaf culture that deaf people need to express what they want too?

Incident 4:
Is it true that a hearing person is expected to pay most of the time since the deaf person isn’t earning alot. Also, a hearing person must give in to the deaf person and it’s a must that a hearing person must learn A-Z sign language?

I need clarification; I don’t have many deaf friends. Sometimes I feel as a hearing person I’m being taken for a ride.
 
I am culturally Deaf and nothing like this person.
 
I have never behave like her this way at all. She is way out of proportion of using you to get what she want. She might not be Deaf, but pretend that she was Deaf. :shrug: It look more like scam to me just to fool you. I think you can delete it if you don't want to be bother by her. The way she is behaving is not Deaf Culture at all. She is behaving like a spoil brat. :roll:
 
Thats definitely NOT a friend.. dont matter whatever she may be hearing deaf black mexican.. her being deaf isnt the problem..she/he just has some serious issues!
 
Sounds like too much cyberspace drama to me.
 
I wouldn't loan anybody my car.

By the way, I would not mind a pony for Christmas. Anyone?
 
violet said:
what color? i'll stop by the nearest toys or us and pick one up for you :P
Click to expand...

Hey , no drama even needed. Next I was going to talk about my feelings.

Purple and green are my favorite two colors.

But perhaps I could express my feelings of frustration as Violet was too nice and immediately granted my wish?
 
Bottesini said:
Hey , no drama even needed. Next I was going to talk about my feelings.

Purple and green are my favorite two colors.

But perhaps I could express my feelings of frustration as Violet was too nice and immediately granted my wish?
Click to expand...

oo got it ;)

yes.. let it out botti..please! :lol:
 
Bebonang said:
I have never behave like her this way at all. She is way out of proportion of using you to get what she want. She might not be Deaf, but pretend that she was Deaf. :shrug: It look more like scam to me just to fool you. I think you can delete it if you don't want to be bother by her. The way she is behaving is not Deaf Culture at all. She is behaving like a spoil brat. :roll:
Click to expand...


Yes she is deaf. I have finally met her and confirm she is deaf. Thanks. I just needed to know its a deaf culture or just her personal culture
 
Perhaps, some chose to be drama:dunno:
 
omg im totally deaf and i'd tell her to stfu and give her a nice bitchslap... after that I'll give her a card to my shrink.
 
Bebonang said:
I have never behave like her this way at all. She is way out of proportion of using you to get what she want. She might not be Deaf, but pretend that she was Deaf. :shrug: It look more like scam to me just to fool you. I think you can delete it if you don't want to be bother by her. The way she is behaving is not Deaf Culture at all. She is behaving like a spoil brat. :roll:
Click to expand...

I agree!!
 
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