Long time friends that change to the worse

[Cheri]

Have you bumped into a longtime friend(s) that change to the worse? As an example, not the same person that you used to know, involving with the wrong crowd, brainwashed by the wrong people?

 

[Tikra]

well not that I know of so far however there is one who I dont friend with but know her when i grew up she always screw around and right now as I know so far she had 3 kids but didnt care of kids. Obviously she no fit mother, she left first one to biogical (sp?) father, 2nd child to her grandmother then last child (3rd one) to her mother. Recently I heard she married to her boyfriend AFTER he beat her up. oh that too sad I wish I should have Slam that girl's head and wake her up to get her to realize what she have done to her life ever since she grew up...I am glad i dont see that person since i grad from high school she never grad from high school and she is around to screw up she did almost screw up my other friend by make her lose her job. Lucky my friend told her boss that it was not her that told them that she quit and it was that girl (they use to work at same place) who called and inform the boss that she told that girl to tell the boss that she quit. BOY if she does that to me she better watch her ass out...

 

[Cheri]

Wow Shiva, what a quite story you got there girl. However I understand how you felt about this person.


Sometimes I don't know what to do about my friend who used to be so sweet, so caring, full of life, but then after bumping into her, she isn't the same anymore, she more angry at the world, and she involving in the wrong crowd. I don't know if I should step forward and help her get out, or should I just let her get out on her own?

 

[apathrev]

Yes. Throughout high school, I had a friend named Ryan, who was a very respectable, upstanding Christian. He was very intelligent and had a funny personality. We didn't always get along, but I still respected him. Towards the end of high school he started cussing, which I didn't think much of. Once he graduated, he started smoking cigarettes just because his friend wanted a smoking buddy, next thing I know, he's hanging with scores of people that I consider bad news, and just this year he started smoking pot and drinking. Now he is "God Free," which is the trendy way of saying he is now atheist. He used to live in the same house I live in now with the people that stuck by him and remained his friend through out everything. Well he ends up going 9 months without a job, and ended up owing 2 months back rent. They decide its time for him to move out. Well once he moves out, he still keeps coming the house, sleeping over here, getting on my friends' computers (on which he was visiting porn sites), eating their food, bringing random people over (most of which were under age girls). It came to the point where we had to have a house meeting, and we all agreed that he was no longer welcomed over here. I haven't seen him since the last time he was here.

 

[DelicPumpkPie]

Cheri! Speaking of that-- just happened last few days now with my friend that I was good friend to her for so long time since she was in high school but NOW no more friendship with her. I had to cut it off with her because full of dramas. I thought she would changed into new person and let things go and move on. I thought wrong! She lead good life til she dated my ex and it fked up her life and now she has bad influences from my ex :fu2: SO, I had to end the friendship with her and move on. I dont want to join in wrong crowd because of her so I have better things to do in my life than be friends with her. I wish her good luck to fix up her life. I told her dont bother to run back to me and cry. All I know she's jealous drama queen as I know of.

Really sad that she fked up her life now when she was leading good life before that just because she got in wrong crowd. OH WELL! I have better friends than just have to be her friend. She cause too much of problems.

to that person which I DONT CARE at all! All you guys can do is move on and find NEW friends than stay in wrong, bad crowd that cause problems in your life and who knows can make you to lose cherish things or even a person in your life.

 

[gnarlydorkette]

Everybody got those kind of people.

I have enough.

That is one of the reasons why I refuse to return to my old stomping grounds at my highschool. Not even to a frigging reunion. I am tired of the awkward pauses after they inquired me about my life and we both realized that we are totally on separate paths. We are of same age but we do not share the same mental age.

I always felt tense whenever I saw somebody from my high school and tried to hide myself because I couldn't BEAR them. My highschool days are over. I am not with him, them, whoever you thought I used to hang out with. I do not party. I do not drink. I do not smoke pot, hash, herb, whatever you want to call it. I do not want to listen to your problems that seem to stay the same since 9th grade: boyfriends, broken hearts, mom nagging, pot, scare pregnancies...

(the BEST example which occured three months ago: An acquitance (she was a friend of a friend that dated my former friend so she is definitely not my friend or somebody I will be gladly associated with) saw me at DPHH with my husband. The first thing she blurted out: "How long have you been with *name of an ex that I broke up TWO YEARS AGO*??" I looked coldly into her and gave her a dirty look: "Why do you want to know? I am not with him for past two years and that is all that matters to me." She replied: "I just want to know." I was thinking: WHY THE F---- DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY EX?? I was RIGHT there wtih my husband RIGHT NEXT to me and all she cared was about how long I was with my ex??? I shuddered at her and totally gave the cold treatment because what kind of person that ask those questions??? A PERSON WHO GOSSIPS ABOUT DEAF STRANGERS.)

I cannot stand their inane conversations somewhat along this line: "So didja hear about *name* getting pregnant with her third child with her old ex who is now dating her old best friend???"

Do I look like I care? I tried to not encourage their conversations by offering no opinion or reaction.

They are still trying to entrap me into their little f*cked up web of lies, backstabbing, and stupidity-- all out of BOREDOM. I got a husband. I got my education. I do have a life. I am MOVING on.


[ my vents end here. my apologizes if anybody got scalded from my steamy vents.]

 

[JeepGirl]

Wow Shiva, what a quite story you got there girl. However I understand how you felt about this person.


Sometimes I don't know what to do about my friend who used to be so sweet, so caring, full of life, but then after bumping into her, she isn't the same anymore, she more angry at the world, and she involving in the wrong crowd. I don't know if I should step forward and help her get out, or should I just let her get out on her own?

To my opinion, you could ask her if she needs help getting her life straighten out, you can offer to help. If she refused, I would just continue to be friends but back off of her own problems, til she comes forward to you of wanting your help. The more you push her the more she'll be pushed away.

Have you talked to her about her life changes? You could ask her why and what happened to her.. just listen to her problems.. maybe she has a reason why her world is up-side down.. but she can always have a friend to lean on... Just make sure she's loved no matter what.

 

[DelicPumpkPie]

Everybody got those kind of people.

I have enough.

That is one of the reasons why I refuse to return to my old stomping grounds at my highschool. Not even to a frigging reunion. I am tired of the awkward pauses after they inquired me about my life and we both realized that we are totally on separate paths. We are of same age but we do not share the same mental age.

I always felt tense whenever I saw somebody from my high school and tried to hide myself because I couldn't BEAR them. My highschool days are over. I am not with him, them, whoever you thought I used to hang out with. I do not party. I do not drink. I do not smoke pot, hash, herb, whatever you want to call it. I do not want to listen to your problems that seem to stay the same since 9th grade: boyfriends, broken hearts, mom nagging, pot, scare pregnancies...

I cannot stand their inane conversations somewhat along this line: "So didja hear about *name* getting pregnant with her third child with her old ex who is now dating her old best friend???"

Do I look like I care? I tried to not encourage their conversations by offering no opinion or reaction.

They are still trying to entrap me into their little f*cked up web of lies, backstabbing, and stupidity-- all out of BOREDOM. I got a husband. I got my education. I do have a life. I am MOVING on.


[ my vents end here. my apologizes if anybody got scalded from my steamy vents.]

Definitely!!! Thats why I aint going get in the web of lies and all of that dramas and get myself in deep hole where I couldn't get out. I got my girlfriend to be with, I got my education to start in few weeks and on and on. SO I agree with ya on that!

 

[Cheri]

Have you talked to her about her life changes? You could ask her why and what happened to her.. just listen to her problems.. maybe she has a reason why her world is up-side down.. but she can always have a friend to lean on... Just make sure she's loved no matter what.

Yes, I do know why she changes, I sat here listening to her for hours, just listening isn't that what friends are supposed to do? But the same time I didn't want to butt in and tell her how her attitude have changed, because the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings, or offenses her. She made it perfectly clear that is how she wants to live her life. But, part of me wants to help her get out of the bad crowd and be the way she used to be. I like the way she was before, now I'm just frighten of her.

 

[JeepGirl]

Since she already said that's how she want to live her life.. just leave her alone.. one of these days, she's gonna wake up and realize what had happened to her.. or maybe not.. All you can do is just be there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to... that's about all you can do.. its not easy seeing her like that, i can imagine. but you have a life and you should just continue whatever you're doing and let faith just take care of the rest. Seems like you're a true friend. just stay positive!

 

[Cheri]

Since she already said that's how she want to live her life.. just leave her alone.. one of these days, she's gonna wake up and realize what had happened to her.. or maybe not.. All you can do is just be there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to... that's about all you can do.. its not easy seeing her like that, i can imagine. but you have a life and you should just continue whatever you're doing and let faith just take care of the rest. Seems like you're a true friend. just stay positive!

Thanks for your advice I'll pray for her and hope that she will be okay and safe. That's the most important thing I want for her.


And everyone here, Thanks so much for sharing your stories. I understand how each of you feel about your past friends.

 

[JeepGirl]

Welcome Cheri!


I had a bestfriend in middle school and we were friends for a long time til we graduated from high school, she moved to NY for college. I hadn't seen her for about 4 years and she came to alabama to visit. She was totally different than when I knew her. College life and NY has changed her entirely. not to the worse but just a different lifestyle. I saw her last month again, She is sooo New Yorkish! Very different and her attitude matches NY people.. No offense to New Yorkers.. My point is.. I'm not her style anymore and doesn't like coming back here and won't for a long time, she says.. but i sure do miss her old times.. we had a lot of good memories and so much fun going out and being stupid! I'll cherish that for the rest of my life.

 

[javapride]

Friends come and go those who are true to you stick with u for life.

some poeple have high drama life and those are the kind i stay away from, i live in hawaii where rumors loves to get ard FAST but for me i live my own life and those lives thier own life its thier plm thier business.

too many poeple nowdays listen to lies and don't even talk one on one with the person thier having plms with. thats why u don't have real friends the real friends u have is the truest one that stick up and stand up and upfront you.

i'm too old for bullshit but too young to let the good die young!

 

[downing]

I just bumped to an old childhood friend of mine on line thru another friend of mine. Oh boy...she really screwd her life up. she got pregnant during high school, her parents did not accept her bf bec of diff race.

she was with her bf (ended up marrying him and having 4 more kids by him (total of 5 kids), her bf beat the shit out of her, she moved out with her kids, never held a job in her life. she lives somewhere up north...her parents help a bit but not really involved.

no idea how she support her kids. i know she is in process for divorce and trying to get child support from that guy. she hung out in wrong crowd wrong people and look how it screwd up her life... I don't talk to her anymore...too much dramas for me.

 

[Teekie]

my hubby and I have had several.. we dont bother with them anymore
We have our own life, family and things that are important to us to worry about.. they're not worth it to go through the drama, lies, backstabbing..

 

[kuifje75]

Can you imagine if someone just decided to stop being your friend, just cos they found out that you were gay? I find that to be really pathetic. One of my so-called friends was like that in Joisey, but I decided that its her issue, not mine.

 

[JeepGirl]

Can you imagine if someone just decided to stop being your friend, just cos they found out that you were gay? I find that to be really pathetic. One of my so-called friends was like that in Joisey, but I decided that its her issue, not mine.

Ya know, i'll be honest, before I met Punkywolfy, I was pretty prejudice about gay/lesbian peeps.. i used to think that was so gross.. but when i met punkywolfy, i fell in love with his world and started to meet other gay/lesbians.. i think they're awesome and fun to chat with. I hang around with most of them now than my straight friends. They're most open-minded and flexible and comfy.. I've got straight friends that are racists and i tried to explain that they're humans like we are. sorry this was off the topic!!!

yes kuifje, you just have to let her go if she can't accept that. ya got better friends right? that's all that counts!

 

[shel90]

Or your friends stop being friends with you because you married a black man. Terrible

 

[caz12]

people change over the years things had in common is past now gone one day talking about school work jobs babies.i have 3 friends I know for 60yrs the other people in life gone own separate ways they live abroad one won lottery others stayed single

 

[caz12]

I got bugger all nothing in common with lottery winner