kids follow your example

[Liebling:-)))]

I have never used drugs in my life....
I only drink during special occassion... My sons do watch us drink glass of wine on & off during evening when we watch good movies on the TV. Of course, my hubby do drink beer sometimes in our house. We alway brought our sons to Deaf Cultures, travel etc....
I have a good job.
I have a house & garden.
I don´t beleive to be "prefect parents" but I know for the sure that I´m good mother to my sons. I raise my sons into right way. I want all is to give my sons my love & respect & want to see them happy & satafisy.
I spent most of time is chat with my sons.... respond their questions....
discussion.... share the opinions.... Take care of their future education... share our holiday plan etc.
My mother is an alcoholic & My father is a gambler... I did looked up to them but I don´t want to learn to be like them.
I did look my friends´s parents to see how good they are etc & want to be like them, not my parents. I also watch on TV to see how lovely family is etc. I alway said when I was a little girl that "I will be good mother to my children & want to have a loving family... Now I am...
That´s how I learn from them because I had the feeling that my friends´s parents are the better one.
The children had the feeling when they look their parents or their friends´s parents & can decide themselves what they like.
Just depend how they feel. My 2 siblings & I didn´t learn from our parents but only my one year younger
sister.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Have good role ready before go ahead to spend time with kids (either relative or not). Sometime, kids ask you various of question. Make u have more time to consider and cautious how to say before answering to the kid's question. Some questions the kids asked me. Make me pause and think how to answer in right away instead of bad influence, doubt, or blame.

How can u answer to the kid's question like What is "Fuck" ?

Sometime kids ask adult for advice or question about why did adults doing. Bearing with kids for trying to uddy people, the world and many things by answers with valid points in positive way not negative. That why they need us as show the role model to them.

Very True!!!!

 

[kuifje75]

I have never used drugs in my life....
I only drink during special occassion... My sons do watch us drink glass of wine on & off during evening when we watch good movies on the TV. Of course, my hubby do drink beer sometimes in our house. We alway brought our sons to Deaf Cultures, travel etc....
I have a good job.
I have a house & garden.
I don´t beleive to be "prefect parents" but I know for the sure that I´m good mother to my sons. I raise my sons into right way. I want all is to give my sons my love & respect & want to see them happy & satafisy.
I spent most of time is chat with my sons.... respond their questions....
discussion.... share the opinions.... Take care of their future education... share our holiday plan etc.
My mother is an alcoholic & My father is a gambler... I did looked up to them but I don´t want to learn to be like them.
I did look my friends´s parents to see how good they are etc & want to be like them, not my parents. I also watch on TV to see how lovely family is etc. I alway said when I was a little girl that "I will be good mother to my children & want to have a loving family... Now I am...
That´s how I learn from them because I had the feeling that my friends´s parents are the better one.
The children had the feeling when they look their parents or their friends´s parents & can decide themselves what they like.
Just depend how they feel. My 2 siblings & I didn´t learn from our parents but only my one year younger
sister.

Liebling, you said it wonderfully. I couldn't have said it better. Also I think compassion is something that is very important to teach a child.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Liebling, you said it wonderfully. I couldn't have said it better. Also I think compassion is something that is very important to teach a child.

Danke! Thank you!
Yes, it´s right - the children need it... What the parents are for....? I want all is raise my children into right way to learn what good or bad...
BUT what if the children see the different like what I said over my childhood etc. I want is my childern have better sucess in their future...

 

[Megladon]

Do you show the role model to kids?

I dont understand all the choices, the first one sounds like it could be good, but then smoking and drinking... 2nd one i just dont get at all...

 

[Opal]

I dont understand all the choices, the first one sounds like it could be good, but then smoking and drinking... 2nd one i just dont get at all...

Its nothing wrong with drink wine/beer, Jesus drank some wines too! Its ok to drink as long as its not too much. I like to drink wines occasionally. Smoking is bad and I told my children to say no to any drugs but its easy to say but hard to listen elder people because of peer pressure!!

I told my teenager daughter, not to shave her legs but she ignored me and shave hers because of peer pressure at school!! What shall I do but it dont mean I am failure mother! Win some, lose some!

I am lucky as my parents are sensible couple and to me they are very strict parents, but I much rather to have them than deadbeat parents. I know they love me so much.

I teach my children to show respect to elder people, and show polite to say "thank you" and "please"

 

[ideafspy]

Umm.. I read some of those. I am not correct or anything. Sometime people who is the parent not thinking what they or person is doing.

I have seen through my friend's parent lot different than my parent. For example; I was shock about one person parent beat him up front of me. I was scare because my parent didn't beat me up. How the beat up my friend; by the hand and slapping on my friend's head. I told my friend, "if you believe that he done wrong. All you have to do speak up to tell how the feel he toward you. Otherwise, just punch the number on tty '9-1-1' and it will taken care itself." So you can advise or share the expirence but that doesn't mean we are right all those stuff. It depends from all peer pressure from school include school's parents are seem different. What the most confuse me that my friend's beat parent went to church. It reallys not made sense at this moment until my friend end up against me and another because of the action has damaged.

That one thing about that damaged came from public or private school include some family member.

What the damaged lead that child to become not trust, disguest, and bitter against you or one of us who is parent. If the parent taught you something to protect yourself, trust, and be responible. When you turned out the other side to graduated (head to college) and then visit the parents. Not always happen but the common what I have see their parents are different than what they taught you or us. It kind of damaged and confused. No factor of support for each other.

I have see someone say about beer or wine but it can lead them to temple to drink while you are not around the house. It just too many issue out there and I know some of my friend end up. For example; that parent told one of my friend is okay to punch back if person hit my friend. Today; my friend in jail for murder. It kind of strange due the parents and school feed to building us into character who we are. It like they are molding you to be something but let it happen. Other exaple; I know person's family is wreath and rich and that guy is senior and wind up to jail due rape one woman include beating her half to death. We are suprise even his family is embrasses due his family strong foot step being doctor. Now he in jail and should be release next year or two year later.

Sometime; parents discover who got trouble for speeding ticket and parent yelled at person. What would the result for person to be against his or her own parent or accept? Sometime when pesron yell and scream all the time but where he or she learn to scream when someone try settle her/him down and snap out loud, "Its my body and I do whatever!" Have you see people talk like that word, "Its my body and I do whatever!" It has something that he/she learn that phase from somewhere?

Anyway.. I am just general about this issue but remember I am not saying I am right. Beside, I am fear about those issue because I don't want happen to my childern due I don't have one yet. It justs afriad that I am not being good enough for them as support, love, and be there for them. You know what I am saying? I better stop this line before I was going and typing more about this.

 

[CatoCooper13]

Not always -- kids don't always follow the parents', but in rare cases...they do. :roll: (Can be both good and bad, though)

 

[Cheri]

Not always -- kids don't always follow the parents', but in rare cases...they do. :roll: (Can be both good and bad, though)

U are Correct WaterRats.. My Mom treated me bad when I was growing up I was never and Will Never be Like Her with my Children.

 

[Roadrunner]

Milkshake, anyone? :-D

Hmm...NOT the kind that was stirred up in your book! Perhaps you could explain this one to the others...heh heh!

 

[ChelEler]

258~ I would not want my boys to be exact like me, because I do make mistakes. I do not want them to make the same mistakes I made, so I teach them not to do things I did. I have never done any illegal drugs. I do not drink much, only on special occasions. My boys have already seen me drink, but I do not get too drunk. (I hate to be drunk.) I swear with bad words only when I am upset or angry, not with my boys. If my boys were with me, I simply do not use my voice when swearing. I am not perfect and neither is my husband. Simply, we just raise/teach our boys the best way we can.

One time, my oldest son asked me this “What is this ..|..” (he showed me the bird) and I answered, “it is a very bad sign, and it is forbidden to be used in this house. I will explain why when you’re more mature.” I asked him where he learned that sign, he told me that he saw some men out there on the street flipping their fingers while I was driving (I did not see that). He got some good eyes, eh? Scary out there.

 

[CatoCooper13]

U are Correct WaterRats.. My Mom treated me bad when I was growing up I was never and Will Never be Like Her with my Children.

Yeah -- as for those bad role model parents -- I pity the children under their influence because it can almost always result in having bad life and making mistakes/bad decisions while trying to decide on where to go next in life.

Even those who had good role model parents didn't get to be making good decisions and so forth. It really depends on the gene make up in the individual child.

**if you want a specific reason why I said this -- please PM me and I'll give you the answer. **

 

[Teekie]

I don't smoke, and I drink in occasions in deaf events or whatever. But I never drink in front of my kids, and I don't drink at all if they're with me in deaf events. My hubby smokes, but never in front of them. He smokes outside of the house or in the bathroom, they don't see him. Nobody as parents are perfect so they do make mistakes and learn from them.. so should expect that kids will make mistakes too and hopefully they learn from them too if we teach them in the right path on what's right and wrong. Kids do look up to the parents but they don't always follow the parents, its from being influenced at school by other kids, too.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

*bump* for newbies or everyone here...

 

[Reba]

I didn't vote in the poll because none of the choices really applied.

I believe children learn more from what the parents do than what they just tell them.

As examples to our daughter, we never:

smoked
drank alcohol
used illegal drugs
cussed
cheated
lied
stole
watched "adult" TV programs
used nasty language
mocked her
criticized leadership
criticized teachers
acted like "sore losers"

Positive things we showed her:

Mommy & Daddy love each other
We love her
God loves her
family activities together are fun
faithfully attending church
learning about missionaries as real people
taking care of pets
obeying God
obeying civil law
caring about other people
volunteering to help people and groups
read, read, read
working hard

 

[Audiofuzzy]

This is definitely true- our children follow our example. They have to.

Why is that- because a child will not learn by itself- if you put a newborn into empty room for say 5 years to come, what would it learn- nothing. What can you learn from bare walls?
It wouldn't be able to speak, maybe would walk on all four only, and it wouldn't know anything. So we are like the mould for our kids- we are the most important influence..hence the role models.
Of all the people the children will encouter in their life we the parents will be the most important ones.

I hope me and my hubby we are a good example for our kid... she's a good kid.

Fuzzy

ps anybody watch Supernanny or Nanny 911?
I love this show.. you can learn a lot.