It bothers me when a deaf person ask me

authentic

authentic

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"What kind of job do you have?" right after our first 2 minutes of introduction, that BOTHERS me the most. I am usually reply with no answer by saying "oh, you're nosey" or "I have two jobs". I have felt little disgusted and never bother to continue the conversation.

Have you experience that before? :hmm:
 
Never encounted it. I'd just reply "one that pays" and leave it at that....


Laura
 
Im not sure if it is really rude or nosy, I don't see anything wrong with it. The chances of why they are asking is to see if your working or on welfare and decide from there. Many don't want to deal with welfare people, since they generally viewed them as lazy people. I know its bad to stereotyping but, it is how I see it. I could be wrong.
 
Yes. And im guilty of it too. I dont do that when chat to anyone for two minutes then ask if they have jobs. If we talk about dealing with kids then i ask like oh are you a teacher or asl teacher or anything. I have a job and see if it can connect to my job. But i know what you mean. They always ask me about my job. Hahah
 
Asking about my job doesnt really bother me....what bothers me is that they assume that I am a teacher's aide and then I have to correct them. Then, they look at me with anoishment and say stuff like, "Wow! Really? A teacher?". It makes me wonder if they think deaf people cant have careers. Just weird.
 
If you are deaf you would know, that deaf get into personal talk far quicker than hearing people. I had one woman ask me on our first date if I wanted to have children. While I'm not against having children, it really irked me that things were moving that fast.

So, when someone ask what I do for work it doesn't even phase me. In fact, that is really low on the scale. And, I fully expect a woman to ask that question.

In the hearing world, you don't talk about class or income even though what you do can signal that information.
 
Just wondering, by their replys, if a few people thought authentic was saying hearing people ask that, not deaf people asking.
 
authentic said:
"What kind of job do you have?" right after our first 2 minutes of introduction, that BOTHERS me the most. I am usually reply with no answer by saying "oh, you're nosey" or "I have two jobs". I have felt little disgusted and never bother to continue the conversation.

Have you experience that before? :hmm:
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Why? I ask hearing people the same question too. It's just conversation. I don't think asking about their profession is personal when it comes to a face to face conversation.
 
I've had a few ask me, which doesn't bother me, but what bothers me is what they say after I tell them...."Wow, you must be rich".

They assume that because I work, have a couple decent cars, wear decent clothes, and own my own house, so I must be rich.

Most conversations end abruptly when I ask them what they do for a living.
 
green427 said:
I've had a few ask me, which doesn't bother me, but what bothers me is what they say after I tell them...."Wow, you must be rich".

They assume that because I work, have a couple decent cars, wear decent clothes, and own my own house, so I must be rich.

Most conversations end abruptly when I ask them what they do for a living.
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YES! YES! YES! I couldn't put my finger on it but you got it!
 
depending on my mood and the place I am in - its either feels pretty offensive, or its a great conversation starter. just as FF says -- I am guilty of it too -I do the same and have gotten wildly different answers too. I guess its all on how we can judge you by the cover - even though we shouldn't.
Sorry authentic.:aw:
 
Why not make up stories of how you work putting turbo in all those high performance vehicles for a living. If you know how to do it, you will impress people. They'll be asking you to turbocharge their car. Go for it!!!
 
It sort of irked me too...when I just met a deafie and am asked about my job (where I worked)....even asking so many questions and I just met them....then again, some hearing people do the same...

I bought groceries one day, leaving the store with 1 of my sons and the cart was jammed packed full (as I had 3 boys)...met a deafie in the parking lot...and she said..."Wow!...you must be rich!"...(grocery cart full)...I took it with a grain of salt....after all, 3 boys to feed.....*(and thinking to myself...."she must be an idiot!")*.
 
green427 said:
I've had a few ask me, which doesn't bother me, but what bothers me is what they say after I tell them...."Wow, you must be rich".

They assume that because I work, have a couple decent cars, wear decent clothes, and own my own house, so I must be rich.

Most conversations end abruptly when I ask them what they do for a living.
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The guy that has two nickels which are not owned to anyone is rich. Just saying...
 
VacationGuy234 said:
The guy that has two nickels which are not owned to anyone is rich. Just saying...
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We live life pretty much adhering to the Dave Ramsey theory. No we don't attend his classes or whatever but we have read his books. Zero debt. We own our home, vehicles, and everything in our business outright. Both me and the wife DO have student loans but that's it.

We do buy a lot of used and sometimes well-used. Our home's an older mobile home but it's ours. Nobody can take it away if I break a leg at work (non-withstanding the property tax payments of course). Same with our vehicles and whatnot. If I don't got the cash in my pocket, I can't afford it.

I'm not saying credit is bad either. It's good. It's just not a lifestyle that I want to pursue... and correctly managing credit IS a lifestyle.
 
One day in Fremont, I drove with my convertible car open. I waited for red light to make a left turn. There were two couple (both are teachers for deaf school) talked about my car. I can see it clearly from rearview mirror and I spelled "HI". Both were like "Oh you're deaf?", I replied YES with fingerspelling. When red light turn green, I drove to left and a car behind me drove bit faster than me and we parked in middle of quiet community street. First question she (the driver) asked, "What kind of job do you have?" with her husband as passenger waited for my answer. I feel bit awkward and replied with "I have three jobs that's why I can afford this car". Couple talk to me briefly as we were "blocking" car behind us, they drove away. I smiled at same time I feel disgusted, and thinking deaf people can't own a convertible car? lol Also I had many hearing people ask me about my conv car, I kept replying I'm deaf...and drove away. I'm not in mood to answer their questions. Maybe I should give more time to let hearing people to find a way to ask me a question, and ended up the question is "What kind of job do you have?" Ha Ha.
 
authentic said:
One day in Fremont, I drove with my convertible car open. I waited for red light to make a left turn. There were two couple (both are teachers for deaf school) talked about my car. I can see it clearly from rearview mirror and I spelled "HI". Both were like "Oh you're deaf?", I replied YES with fingerspelling. When red light turn green, I drove to left and a car behind me drove bit faster than me and we parked in middle of quiet community street. First question she (the driver) asked, "What kind of job do you have?" with her husband as passenger waited for my answer. I feel bit awkward and replied with "I have three jobs that's why I can afford this car". Couple talk to me briefly as we were "blocking" car behind us, they drove away. I smiled at same time I feel disgusted, and thinking deaf people can't own a convertible car? lol Also I had many hearing people ask me about my conv car, I kept replying I'm deaf...and drove away. I'm not in mood to answer their questions. Maybe I should give more time to let hearing people to find a way to ask me a question, and ended up the question is "What kind of job do you have?" Ha Ha.
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You don't have to explain yourself. You can tell them what you do if you were carrying on a conversation but if some random person looks at my car and ask me what kind of a job I have, I would feel a bit defensive and will just keep going.

My wife also has a convertible. A shiny red Cavalier. We paid $1,000 for it. Guy we bought it from said the engine had a bad headgasket but took it home, found a burnt out spark plug wire. Replaced them and the car's been just like new for about six months now. Whoo hoo! My point though... is that we bought one very cheap and fixed it.

Don't let STRANGERS ask you private questions that are obviously based on your car. I normally don't even respond with the "yes". Just ignore them and keep on trucking.
 
NitroHonda said:
You don't have to explain yourself. You can tell them what you do if you were carrying on a conversation but if some random person looks at my car and ask me what kind of a job I have, I would feel a bit defensive and will just keep going.

My wife also has a convertible. A shiny red Cavalier. We paid $1,000 for it. Guy we bought it from said the engine had a bad headgasket but took it home, found a burnt out spark plug wire. Replaced them and the car's been just like new for about six months now. Whoo hoo! My point though... is that we bought one very cheap and fixed it.

Don't let STRANGERS ask you private questions that are obviously based on your car. I normally don't even respond with the "yes". Just ignore them and keep on trucking.
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:laugh2: That is TEXAS style.

I thought they want to ask me something about my car, like what brand or what year or how many hp. I was nice enough to stop and let them talk to me, and all I got was surprised with their question.

I've faced many similar questions at Deaf Expo, Deaf Happy Hour, School sports events, and homecoming.
 
authentic said:
One day in Fremont, I drove with my convertible car open. I waited for red light to make a left turn. There were two couple (both are teachers for deaf school) talked about my car. I can see it clearly from rearview mirror and I spelled "HI". Both were like "Oh you're deaf?", I replied YES with fingerspelling. When red light turn green, I drove to left and a car behind me drove bit faster than me and we parked in middle of quiet community street. First question she (the driver) asked, "What kind of job do you have?" with her husband as passenger waited for my answer. I feel bit awkward and replied with "I have three jobs that's why I can afford this car". Couple talk to me briefly as we were "blocking" car behind us, they drove away. I smiled at same time I feel disgusted, and thinking deaf people can't own a convertible car? lol Also I had many hearing people ask me about my conv car, I kept replying I'm deaf...and drove away. I'm not in mood to answer their questions. Maybe I should give more time to let hearing people to find a way to ask me a question, and ended up the question is "What kind of job do you have?" Ha Ha.
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I would feel offended too, Authenic...and probably would have made an off color joke to their question.....

Many people seem to think that since we are deaf...we live off the government...and if they see us driving a new car....:hmm:....
 
NitroHonda said:
We live life pretty much adhering to the Dave Ramsey theory. No we don't attend his classes or whatever but we have read his books. Zero debt. We own our home, vehicles, and everything in our business outright. Both me and the wife DO have student loans but that's it.

We do buy a lot of used and sometimes well-used. Our home's an older mobile home but it's ours. Nobody can take it away if I break a leg at work (non-withstanding the property tax payments of course). Same with our vehicles and whatnot. If I don't got the cash in my pocket, I can't afford it.

I'm not saying credit is bad either. It's good. It's just not a lifestyle that I want to pursue... and correctly managing credit IS a lifestyle.
Click to expand...

If you can do it without being take e. g. 25% finance charge or scammed by predatory lenders, yes, you can use credit to your advantage.

In fact, just paying off your credit card every month just for the cash back bonus is a huge advantage(it really is just a form of credit even if paid off).

Too many people abuse the lifestyle.

Authentic, it's just part of the culture and it's not going to change anytime soon. I think it stems from the lack of broad socialization with the hearing world because of deaf stigmatization. Since we don't interact as much as hearing people we (deaf/Deaf) try to get really close to people really quick(not so much HoH, but certainly more so Deaf). Sadly, this is NOT always the best course of action because people are not that open.
 
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