In lieu of present, $$ Cash $$ please

[Liebling:-)))]

yep, if i dont want accept for them.. it would be not good work for friends. Important accept!!
Thank you!!!
I know, you love artwork.

Stimmt genau!

Respekt ist Hauptsache!

Das ist Beste Beweis von unsere Freundschaft als Beschwerde (Klage) über blöde geldgeschenke. :roll:

Translation

Exactly!

Respect is an essential matter!

That is best proof of our friendship than complaint (whine) over that stupid money gifts. :roll:

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Sigh...You're right, this is getting way too much off topic. This thread isn't about you or me.

I think I've said enough for this thread. Time for a break.

Yes I knew we will end off topic posts if I provided few links from other thread over here. That's why I would not do that to thread creator here. I will try my best to quote some of your previous posts here to relate topic here and stick it.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

That has nothing to do with requesting gifts or money.

You think it's "MUST" gift...but it's not... hosts only let you know what they wish, not make you to do something what hosts wants... You can't compare "let you know" and "request"... I know the difference when I recieve an invitation card... See the example of Sunshinelady's wedding invitation card. It's not requesting but let you know.

Guests should bring gifts; that's very nice.

You answered this different as other thread when I repeat the same word there and here: "I consider bad manner, greedy & rude to be present any special occassions with empty handed". You answered in different posts there:

That's more important than any material things.
"exchange for food, drink, and entertainment, then they should sell tickets and call the attendees "customers" instead of "guests".
"But that's voluntary, not required, not an exchange for food and drink. Or is there someone at the wedding keeping a tally of gift values for each guest to judge how much they're allowed to eat? Or do guests call up the *host* ahead of time, and ask how much the food costs so they can buy a gift that matches the cost?"
"In America, when a guest shows up empty handed, the host ignores that, and just continues on with a pleasant dinner and visit. That's good manners" and going on....

Your posts there sounds that you see nothing wrong to attend big occassion with empty handed and consider it's good manner but you said here different...

Now you posted here telling me that Guests should bring gifts; that's very nice. Why you didn't said those word there but here. This is a confusion

Hosts should never request or expect gifts or money. It makes them look greedy.

Sorry, I do not consider hosts of big and special occassion greedy and rude. It's understandable for every guests to fulfill hosts' wishes accord tradition. I do not take it seriously why should I? Understandable, I accept because I want my friend's and familys' wish to be fulfilling.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I don't go empty handed either, unless they specifically request no gifts.

You posted there when I said: "Do you think it´s nice to attend any speical occassion without something in their hands? To me, it´s poor taste to attend their wedding without something in their hands."

"I consider it as rude and bad manner to attend any special occassion without something in hands".

"Shame of them to greed foods and drink for free... because they can't afford to pay a gift... or don't have to pay gifts but greed foods and drink on *host* at big occassion expenses for free... Greedy, Rude, arrogant and Selfish"



...

Accord your post there.



"expect a gift in exchange for reception food. Why not just sell tickets to the event?"
"In America, when a guest shows up empty handed, the host ignores that, and just continues on with a pleasant dinner and visit. That's good manners"

You find okay the guests attend big occassion with empty handed when I said there:
"I see no excuse when the people turn up at their big occassion with empty hands and saying that they can´t afford to buy a gift or card. *smh*" Your replied: That's more important than any material things.

Link please.

See above and one previous post.

That's why your post there and here got me confusion.

 

[Opal]

My Dream wish is to have a Digitial Camera, Ah, I got a better idea to have a party, here is it.
******************************************************


INVITATION EMAIL LETTER

Where: 1 Smith St, Brown City,
Time: just turn up and bring your friends, the more people coming the more money I will get.
Date : 1st April 2007

Let you know I want $$ Money $$ for my dream wish list Camera.

Thank you
Opal

**************************************************

Easy way out!!!

It is very rude!!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

My Dream wish is to have a Digitial Camera, Ah, I got a better idea to have a party, here is it.
******************************************************


INVITATION EMAIL LETTER

Where: 1 Smith St, Brown City,
Time: just turn up and bring your friends, the more people coming the more money I will get.
Date : 1st April 2007

Let you know I want $$ Money $$ for my dream wish list Camera.

Thank youOpal

**************************************************

Easy way out!!!

It is very rude!!

I don't like your invitation because of your bad manner and rude because there're no occassions but just party. I prefer the example of Sunshinelady's invitation card because of manner way. Germans and Europeans don't do what you did with your invitation here...

We only invited good and close friends including relatives to attend our big special occassions but not like what you write your invitation card here.

Is Australian way like this? Just curious.

 

[VamPyroX]

This reminds me of an episode of That's So Raven where Cory's friend, Larry, is having a Bar Mitzvah and that people usually bring cash at these events. Cory decides to have his own Bar Mitzvah in order to get some money for himself. (This episode is from last year, 4th season.)

 

[Opal]

I noticed myself its always happen in deaf community's bad etiquette that I received an invitation to my deaf friend's son's 21st birthday party, and the invitation said in lieu of the present, please donate money toward to his car!

Again, last year, I received similar invitation to my deaf friend's 40th birthday party, she mention in writing on invitation letter to say no present because she want to collect money to buy a Friendship ring jewellery from everyone who attend her party.

I was bit surprised to see they demand something, since gifts is a volunteering, but I was told its very rude and cheeky of deaf people to ask for money.

Do you think its rude or its is perfectly normal to you?

Liebling, please re-read my first thread post again, thank you.

 

[Sunshinelady]

My Dream wish is to have a Digitial Camera, Ah, I got a better idea to have a party, here is it.
******************************************************


INVITATION EMAIL LETTER

Where: 1 Smith St, Brown City,
Time: just turn up and bring your friends, the more people coming the more money I will get.
Date : 1st April 2007

Let you know I want $$ Money $$ for my dream wish list Camera.

Thank you
Opal

**************************************************

Easy way out!!!

It is very rude!!

you???.... you wanna make the Party on 1st April *tsk tsk* but just Date 1st April... Is that true?? *ummm*....
I hope not, that Liebling and me are a dumb women, if we got to your Home in Australia. You said, nothing Party.. cuz just........JOKE Date is in 1st April... We will like

 

[Liebling:-)))]

you???.... you wanna make the Party on 1st April *tsk tsk* but just Date 1st April... Is that true?? *ummm*....
I hope not, that Liebling and me are a dumb women, if we got to your Home in Australia. You said, nothing Party.. cuz just........JOKE Date is in 1st April... We will like

I would not go when I see 1st April...

Just Party???? nothing just party...?

 

[Opal]

I would not go when I see 1st April...

Just Party???? nothing just party...?

Fake invitation, just kidding

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Liebling, please re-read my first thread post again, thank you.

Yes I have read and answered your question last year.

I really don't care as long as hosts consider 21st and 40th birthday as big special occassion, not just "party" like what you written in your previous post. If they wish then their wish should be fulfilling as long as they know their manner in different way how to put on invitation card.

I know it's impossible to get car to fulfill his wish which mean is he has to invite 500 to 1,000 guests... I don't care if my friend's wish to have a car... as long as they did not put exact amount on the invitation card, then okay... I can choose to limit amount to fulfill his wish. He can add money out of his pocket to meet money from his guests if money is not enough to meet the price of car. To me, it make no deal...

To me, I accept to fulfill a friend's wish to collect money to buy jewellery ring to remember guests who attend her 40th birthday party. It make no deal to make a big fuss over that. It's nice to have her to collect money together from guests to buy a friendship ring.

I has to honest with you that it's not deaf but hearing as well...

I do not consider it rude as long as there're big special occassions, their wishes should be fulfilling... What friends for?

My hearing co-worker had her 40th birthday. Of course she wrote her wishes on the invitation card to buy an oven. Her in-laws's 50th wedding anniversary, they put hint on their invitation... Of course they gave them money with flowers, basket of foods.... They collect money to fulfill their wishes is go to cruise to Eypt, Isreal, Africa... A lot of people made hint in sense of humor way on invitation card to make guest laugh... etc...

 

[Dark-Half]

Rofl. Jeez. I' usually tell people to NOT get me anything at all and just a hug+cake is good enough. I feel so uncomfortable receiving gifts. They still get me stuff. Blah lol.

 

[Reba]

I am referring to adults who have birthday parties and they putting that down on the invitations to their own birthday parties.

Children are a different matter and what u said about gift registry for children bday parties, I agree with u 100%.

I dont think a registry is rude at all but to write on an inviation "In lieu of a gift, cash please" for adult bday parties, weddings, or baby showers? I just asked my husband about that and he gave me "Are u kidding me??" look. He said if anyone did that on an invitation sent to us (for adults, mind u) he wouldnt go at all.


Two weeks ago, we got invited to a bat mitzavah and the invitation said nothing about cash or gifts but I did ask the birthday girl's parents what kind of gift to get her and she told me either cash or gift certificate is fine so I got what she suggested. Cash.

 

[Reba]

...American, I met at party last Saturday told me that he was surprised that we (Germans) got invitation per emails to attend small parties but in America, no... Birthday partys are welcome to anyone - they do not need to write an invitation card or email... Just welcome...

I've never heard of that. Every part that I've attended was by invitation. That's sounds like something teenagers do when their parents are out of town.

 

[Reba]

Rofl. Jeez. I' usually tell people to NOT get me anything at all and just a hug+cake is good enough. I feel so uncomfortable receiving gifts. They still get me stuff. Blah lol.

Same here. I expect something from Hubby but that's all.

 

[Reba]

We don't have baby showers here in Germany... We beleive in to not buy baby clothes but underwear and very few baby clothes before baby is born - no baby decoration etc. It's bad luck to decorate baby things, buy pram, etc before baby born... Until baby is 3 months old then decorate a room for him. We ordered pram and leave pram at shop until baby is born.

Most Americans don't have that superstition. They like to decorate the room as soon as possible. Their friends and family want to have baby showers for them, and give them lots of gifts so everything will be ready for the baby.

Anyway My hubby only send an annoncement cards to let our friends and relatives know we have baby boy, how many weight etc.... (No invitation but just annoncement card)...

That's correct here, too. Parents never give the baby showers. Friends and other relatives are supposed to plan the showers. It is considered bad manners for the mom-to-be to request a shower.

It's up to them to visit to see me at hospitail or home to congrats us...

Unfortunately, here in America hospital privacy and security is getting very strict, and friends aren't allowed to visit at the hospital. They have to wait until mom and baby arrive home.

 

[Reba]

Hey everyone,

yesterday i got an Email from my friends. they will invite me on 6th April. Of course we will visit to them.
What they want?... MONEY
Please read it
"Ich wolltet uns bestimmt fragen was wir uns wünschen.
Wir würden uns freuen wenn wir uns das Geld geschenk bekommen würden"
"I am sure, if you all ask us what we want?
We will be glad, if you all gift the money for us"
Geld = money

that i will accept, what they want? True, that is fine for money. They said, the oney for our vacation!!.. cool!

No way! :jaw:

 

[Reba]

Exactly!

Respect is an essential matter!

That is best proof of our friendship than complaint (whine) over that stupid money gifts. :roll:

Yes, respect is important. It's too bad the couple sending the invitation didn't show more respect for their guests.

 

[Opal]

Most Americans don't have that superstition. They like to decorate the room as soon as possible. Their friends and family want to have baby showers for them, and give them lots of gifts so everything will be ready for the baby.


That's correct here, too. Parents never give the baby showers. Friends and other relatives are supposed to plan the showers. It is considered bad manners for the mom-to-be to request a shower.


Unfortunately, here in America hospital privacy and security is getting very strict, and friends aren't allowed to visit at the hospital. They have to wait until mom and baby arrive home.

Sorry off topic, no one is allow to visit New Mother and newborn baby in Hospital in America, is it correct?