catsmeow
New Member
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2011
- Messages
- 9
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I posted once 2 years ago in March, I have not been back.
I am deaf in my right ear and almost in my left. I use a hearing aide on that side. I don't use my CI, it gives me mega migraines.
Where do I start??? The question is where do I fit in?
I find I am not hearing enough for the hearing world and not deaf enough for the deaf world. I am in a category of my own, and want to find my place.
My now 17 1/2 year old daughter and I watch switched at birth, she loves the show and last week it had a special episode in which it used ASL 99% of the time. In it a child who also was not born deaf had the same issue of not knowing where he belonged.
I have so much to offer this world, I still don't know ASL and want to. I have looked into colleges but can't afford t go. I would think here in Maryland I would have had an easier time navigating my way but that is just not so.
I want to reclaim my life back and go back to work and be productive. I can do the same things I did before only I can't hear.
I am getting depressed, not because I am deaf, but because I feel isolated and hearing people don't understand. I tell them if they put their TV on sound setting 3 and put on a channel with people speaking Russian, only then would they kind of know what it feels like to know someone is talking but not be able to make out what is being said. I say kind of because they would still hear the turn on and off of the A/C and the thunder from outside or just what sound the house makes when someone turns on the shower.
I have also had some deaf people not be so kind as if I was intruding on a world only belonging to them. I was not born deaf so I have no right to be where they are.
I am not here to bash anyone or offend anyone. I just don't want to be made to feel like the enemy. I want to co exist and have friends and not be isolated anymore.
To be honest there are many times I love the silence, I can think and experience things in a way I never knew or understood. I see things differently now, I smell things differently now.
Does anyone out here understand? How can I go back out and be apart of the world? I don't want to be isolated anymore.
I am deaf in my right ear and almost in my left. I use a hearing aide on that side. I don't use my CI, it gives me mega migraines.
Where do I start??? The question is where do I fit in?
I find I am not hearing enough for the hearing world and not deaf enough for the deaf world. I am in a category of my own, and want to find my place.
My now 17 1/2 year old daughter and I watch switched at birth, she loves the show and last week it had a special episode in which it used ASL 99% of the time. In it a child who also was not born deaf had the same issue of not knowing where he belonged.
I have so much to offer this world, I still don't know ASL and want to. I have looked into colleges but can't afford t go. I would think here in Maryland I would have had an easier time navigating my way but that is just not so.
I want to reclaim my life back and go back to work and be productive. I can do the same things I did before only I can't hear.
I am getting depressed, not because I am deaf, but because I feel isolated and hearing people don't understand. I tell them if they put their TV on sound setting 3 and put on a channel with people speaking Russian, only then would they kind of know what it feels like to know someone is talking but not be able to make out what is being said. I say kind of because they would still hear the turn on and off of the A/C and the thunder from outside or just what sound the house makes when someone turns on the shower.
I have also had some deaf people not be so kind as if I was intruding on a world only belonging to them. I was not born deaf so I have no right to be where they are.
I am not here to bash anyone or offend anyone. I just don't want to be made to feel like the enemy. I want to co exist and have friends and not be isolated anymore.
To be honest there are many times I love the silence, I can think and experience things in a way I never knew or understood. I see things differently now, I smell things differently now.
Does anyone out here understand? How can I go back out and be apart of the world? I don't want to be isolated anymore.