I feel depressed.

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karbear

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Didn't know where to post this but.. i just feel depressed. I'm 14 years old. My parents found out I was completely deaf when I was about 1 year old and got me a cochlear implant sugery when I was 2. Cause of the sugery I had to move from Texas to New Mexico and went to an oral school there until I was 5. Then moved back to Texas. Went to a regular school. Like in kingergarden, for the 1st half of the day I went to kingergarden and when the kids would go home I would go to my deaf ed class. At around 2nd grade I stopped going to deaf ed. But I still had speech theraby. Now I have no friends cause when I try to make friends with hearing people it's hard to understand them sometimes. So I'm like asking "what?" alot times. And they're just like forget it. and when I try to make friends with deaf people, I don't feel like I'm a part of them. I mean I don't know sign language and sometimes they kinda ignore me. So I just don't know how to make friends. I'm kinda like in the middle. I'm not in any worlds not the hearing not the deaf. Maybe if I wasn't oral I would be happy in the deaf world. but it's too late. Thanks for reading :/.
 
It's not too late.. it's never too late..

Don't give up.. there are those of us who grew up the way you did.. we understand. I grew up mainstreamed, but i was lucky to learn to sign. There are ADers who grew up oral without sign. maybe they can help you :) Maybe I can. You will make friends. It will all work out. Just take it one day at a time. You can do it. I'm sure you'll get more posts like mine. We are here to help if you need it.
 
karbear said:
Didn't know where to post this but.. i just feel depressed. I'm 14 years old. My parents found out I was completely deaf when I was about 1 year old and got me a cochlear implant sugery when I was 2. Cause of the sugery I had to move from Texas to New Mexico and went to an oral school there until I was 5. Then moved back to Texas. Went to a regular school. Like in kingergarden, for the 1st half of the day I went to kingergarden and when the kids would go home I would go to my deaf ed class. At around 2nd grade I stopped going to deaf ed. But I still had speech theraby. Now I have no friends cause when I try to make friends with hearing people it's hard to understand them sometimes. So I'm like asking "what?" alot times. And they're just like forget it. and when I try to make friends with deaf people, I don't feel like I'm a part of them. I mean I don't know sign language and sometimes they kinda ignore me. So I just don't know how to make friends. I'm kinda like in the middle. I'm not in any worlds not the hearing not the deaf. Maybe if I wasn't oral I would be happy in the deaf world. but it's too late. Thanks for reading :/.
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Carebear. ;)

When I was 14, I went to a junior and high school that is completely hearing.
I say, "What?"
Everyone says, "Never mind".
You think you're the only one? ;)

Luckily, I had a few close friends.
The numbers weren't huge - it was about 4 or 5.
Do you have those close friends?
Cherish them!

Over the years, the numbers will fluctuate.
I gained friends in high school when people were more and more mature.
I used to be an outcast.
But I ended up hanging out with preppies and geeks alike.

Being the outcast, observing people...
Then being a part of them...
Made me who I am today.
Not everything seems like the way it is!

Actually, cherish the position you are in.
You're a lucky person to experience being left out.
Because it teaches you many things...
While those who are not left out are still as immature.

I am 20 right now.
I'd like to say I'm intelligent, friendly, and moderate.
I go to RIT right now.
I'm literally friends with everyone.

You'll get there too. ;)
Relax!
This is life.
Learn it and cherish it.

With love,
Yiffy.
 
karbear said:
Didn't know where to post this but.. i just feel depressed. I'm 14 years old. My parents found out I was completely deaf when I was about 1 year old and got me a cochlear implant sugery when I was 2. Cause of the sugery I had to move from Texas to New Mexico and went to an oral school there until I was 5. Then moved back to Texas. Went to a regular school. Like in kingergarden, for the 1st half of the day I went to kingergarden and when the kids would go home I would go to my deaf ed class. At around 2nd grade I stopped going to deaf ed. But I still had speech theraby. Now I have no friends cause when I try to make friends with hearing people it's hard to understand them sometimes. So I'm like asking "what?" alot times. And they're just like forget it. and when I try to make friends with deaf people, I don't feel like I'm a part of them. I mean I don't know sign language and sometimes they kinda ignore me. So I just don't know how to make friends. I'm kinda like in the middle. I'm not in any worlds not the hearing not the deaf. Maybe if I wasn't oral I would be happy in the deaf world. but it's too late. Thanks for reading :/.
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Aww. i feel you. I am hard of hearing.. it happen to me with social hearing.. Best is bring pen and paper with you all the time everywhen u dont undy.. ask them "Can you please write it down on my notebook, i want to know what you were trying to say?" better than keep say what ton of times.

u feel dont infit to deaf people bc u dont know sign language. Awww. i think i see you as Hard of hearing world.. you wld find someone who is hard of hearing that can do oral alike you.. maybe to communication it better.

There is a school.. should have a sign language class. i know some rare dont. u might shd take one when u get in high school, you wld enjoy it.. My old public school i graduated has a class for sign language to teach student for grade, and communication deaf to become friend. Even they do make a shows as theater like doing music in a sign language after hear, and also silly character to be.
 
if you want to learn sign language, pick up a sign language book, look online, see if theres a group nearby for you to learn.

you're young (i know this sounds consending, but trust me it's not), and it'll get better as you get older. I swear 14 year olds are meaner than most people I know who are in their 20-30's! just stick with it, be persisent, and just try your best. :) where in texas are you?
 
welcome to the club. I went through what you did. except I wore hearing aids (I am severe hard of hearing, almost profoundly deaf) in both ears and never learned ASL. I didn't go to a deaf Ed. though. Just LD class in English only.

BTW, do you have cochlear implant in both ears? That might help. I have one Cochlear implant done a few years ago. I like it better than my hearing aids.
 
BTW, my best suggestion is to learn ASL, if you are missing out what your friends are saying, you are missing out your education too and you need an interpreter. I missed out alot of things in school because the struggles to understand speech and wore me out that I couldn't focus on studying. Talk to your parents.

you might need another mapping done too, if you haven't done so...or get the latest processor for your implant.
 
Thank you everyone for answering :ty: . I'll try to learn sign language. Actually my dad said we could go to sign language class and learn sign :D . And o4141986, I live near houston. I have only 1 cochlear implant. I don't think my parents want me to get another 1 :/. Again Thanks everyone. I feel better :P
 
karbear said:
Thank you everyone for answering :ty: . I'll try to learn sign language. Actually my dad said we could go to sign language class and learn sign :D . And o4141986, I live near houston. I have only 1 cochlear implant. I don't think my parents want me to get another 1 :/. Again Thanks everyone. I feel better :P
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ah houston :) nice area, i live near dallas
 
Good luck learning sign language- there's tons of resources all over the web. Get involved with other Deaf people in your area, and don't take that "not Deaf enough" excuse as an answer- use paper and pencil to communicate with them if you must, and you'll find yourself rapidly picking up language skills from being around native ASL speakers. It might seem hard, but you are not alone in your experiences. Take care.
 
karbear said:
Didn't know where to post this but.. i just feel depressed. I'm 14 years old. My parents found out I was completely deaf when I was about 1 year old and got me a cochlear implant sugery when I was 2. Cause of the sugery I had to move from Texas to New Mexico and went to an oral school there until I was 5. Then moved back to Texas. Went to a regular school. Like in kingergarden, for the 1st half of the day I went to kingergarden and when the kids would go home I would go to my deaf ed class. At around 2nd grade I stopped going to deaf ed. But I still had speech theraby. Now I have no friends cause when I try to make friends with hearing people it's hard to understand them sometimes. So I'm like asking "what?" alot times. And they're just like forget it. and when I try to make friends with deaf people, I don't feel like I'm a part of them. I mean I don't know sign language and sometimes they kinda ignore me. So I just don't know how to make friends. I'm kinda like in the middle. I'm not in any worlds not the hearing not the deaf. Maybe if I wasn't oral I would be happy in the deaf world. but it's too late. Thanks for reading :/.
Click to expand...

I am a mother of my two sons who are 21 and 20, they are hearing. I know, what the teenagers go through like this.

I had been doing the term paper when I was in college. I had an interview several parents, teachers, doctors and audiologist. I can see many professional doctors pushy many parents who have the Deaf children. Many of them are do not realize, many Deaf children are confuse for who they are.

I grew up myself Deaf since my birth. I am very happy for who I am. I am very courageous myself to particular many activities with hearing and Deaf during my childhood. I remember, I left out at the Girl Scout group at the camping with my hearing aid. I am very good at lip reading but other girls were speaking very fast. I can't catch them very well like you. Cause me very frustration and overwhelming. I became isolate because they were left me out as lonesome due to communication barrier.

I really thank my parents for not get my cochlear implant to destroy my true identify due to my Deaf since my birth. My parents think, oral method would be the best for me but they were wrong. I learned how to speak for many hours. I did not learn Academic during my childhood. My speech is not perfect since I was little girl. The speech therapist teacher slapped my face because I could not speak well. Her face was closer to my face yelling at me and force me how to say they, mmm nnnn to pressure on my nose. I was cried and cried. I never like go to school every morning because I was scared of the speech therapist. I hate her so much. I realized, the speech therapist wasted a lot of my time. I preferred going to the regular class to teach important subjects instead of sit on the hard wood chair to learn how to speak for many hours.

Unfortunately, there are always exasperating moments when a hearing person who is not tolerate to say repeat things when you do not understand him or her.

I want to hug you what you went through frustration due to communication barrier. I am glad, you learn in ASL (sign language). It will be very helpful for your associable with other Deaf people. You will enjoy this every moment. Do not give up ! Just follow your heart to particular with Deaf Community. I am very against for the parents who make their decision to get the cochlear implants on the infants and children. They did not ask for it. :(

Glad, you come to this site to give you a lot of support. ;)
 
It's never too late to learn another language... I know a professor in deaf studies who was completely oral for much of his life (he even prided himself on the fact that he was "above the Deaf" IHO) but then he discovered the beauty of ASL and the Deaf world and he took out his hearing aids and learned ASL and is now completely ASL and loves the Deaf culture.

There are always people who will not understand what you're going through, but there are ALSO people who do... and those who don't but are still willing to be your friend. I know most people would think this a dumb idea, but I'd suggest praying about it, ask that you find people who are understand and will be good friends.
 
I was same way as you are right now. I am hoh and jumped from public school to another public school every two years in my oral childhood. Communication was always overwhelming for me. Then my mother placed me to deaf school when I was sixteen(I was junior in high school.) Thats when I first learned ASL. It was a culture shock. Like everybody said in AD never too late to learn ASL.

My suggestion is you to talk with your parents now, ask them if you could attend to deaf school with staying at residential program near your area. If the deaf school's education does not meet parents expectation then ask your parents to compromise with half day with mainstream high school and half day with deaf school. This will also allow you to socialize with deaf and hoh peers during the week in the residential program. I garunteed you, you will feel better once you see other peers who are the same as you are! Although keep learning in hearing world because we all rely on them. Smile. GOOD LUCK.

beetarehoh
 
Actually its very common for dhh "oral sucesses" to have social difficulties in jr high and high school.
It's not "too late" to learn ASL. What grade are you in? Maybe you could go to MSSD for high school. There are a TON of dhh kids out there who have learned Sign as a second language. Not all deafies are seperatists, and won't talk to orally educated deafies.
You could also use this summer to go to an ASL enrichement camp. Gally had a program for high schoolers who wanted to learn Sign, as a second language a few years ago.
 
Don't get so down. One can always learn sign if they really wanted to. Doesn't matter if one is older. As they say, better late than never.

To address one of your statements, I quite understand your feelings about being a 'tweener. Been there and done that. Not a lot of fun being "stuck" in the middle.
 
It's never too late.

There are a lot of students who enter NTID (a deaf college here in New York) as oral students. They eventually learn sign language.

I'm sure you can find a school in Texas that would fit you. I did.

My story is almost like yours.

I became deaf at the age of 1 and was placed into a deaf oral school.

At the age of 5, I moved to Texas and entered mainstream school. I didn't know anything about sign language until I met the other deaf students.

Maybe, being with other deaf students would help you get yourself closer to your deaf identity? :)
 
KARBEAR!!
GLAD WE ALL HELP YOU!!
YOU ARE VERY YOUNG GUY!! JUST FOLLOW YOUR DREAM!! YOUR GOAL..
DONT CHANGE EVERYTHING...
DO ON SAME PATH...
GO AND LEARN THE ASL..ITS BEST WAY TO LEARN THE ASL, THAN CI..(SORRY I SAYD THAT!) ITS TRUE..
YOU CAN PRACTICE THE ASL ONLINE...
CHECK ON
ASLPro.com Home OR
http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.html or
ASL - American Sign Language

they are good websites for you to study and learn..
For me, if I use hearing aid, or CI...miss alot what they said, or left me out!
I prefer to learn ASL, I would be involved with Deaf Social...
You will be happy to be involved with deaf world..
but...Follow Your Dream, What You want to do at first place, stay that way.
DONT GIVE UP!! we are here to help you!! let us know! :)

THEY SHOW YOU VIDEO WITH SIGN LANGUAGES..ITS GOOD..
 
Hey Karbear.. I am sorry that u are going through this and I can relate! I went thru the same thing growing up. I was born profoundly deaf in both ears and wore HAs...I was able to develop good speech and lipreading skills so I was mainstreamed as the only deaf student in my school. Mind you, I went to a huge public school and I always struggled to fit in especially during my pre-teen and teenaged years. Middle school was the toughest...I ate alone at lunch everyday and it really sucked. High school was better and I had great friends but I always felt something was missing and I was always trying to fill in the void with no so great behaviors. I wasnt interested in the deaf community nor interested in learning ASL cuz I was brainwashed into believing that I was too smart for it and didnt need it. Boy, was I wrong!!! Finally learned ASL around the age of 28 and I am very actively involved in the deaf community. Will be 5 years and I couldnt be happier cuz I have a great balance between the deaf and hearing worlds. Yes, even at age 28, deaf people subbed me when I tried to socialize with them but I didnt give up. Dont give up..it will be hard but worth it at the end and u can be involved in both worlds and have a good balance. Good luck! Hope u are feeling better. :hug:
 
Karbear! Wondering How Are U Doing So Far? Concern About You..hope You Doing Well..keep In Touch!!
 
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