How to help a friend with a miscarriage

[Taylor]

A good friend of mine that I've known for many years told me today that she has had a miscarriage. She had her 10 week checkup yesterday and was told she had lost the baby. Her and her husband have been married for about 3 or so years, and this would have been their first child.

I believe in being there for friends who are hurting or are in need. My problem is it is something that I have never experienced, nor has anyone that I've been close to. I really want to be there for her, but besides giving her a shoulder to cry on, what else can I do?

For once, I'm at a loss at what I should do for her. Any suggestions or comments, perhaps those that have suffered a similar loss would be greatly appreciated!

 

[VamPyroX]

I don't really know what to say about this. I've had a few friends who had miscarriages and each of them took it differently. That's why I can't really say something cuz I don't know if it will work.

 

[Cheri]

Taylor,

Being there for her does sure show some support, I have had a miscarriage before, and a parent's heart is dealing with the reality of the loss. So, really words are hard to expressed to those who had a miscarriage. But, like what you want to do is be there for her and comfort her is a good way of expressing your caresses. They can try again. It happen to everyone who experiences the miscarriages all we can do is move forward and try again, hopefully there will be happy results later in the future.

 

[MsGiglz]

::jaw dropped:: Wow...

I didn't mean to surprise... its been almost many as over 10th of my friends/cousins who had their miscarriage since last fall till now..

I wonder what's going on and why its so many...
its been strange lately since the weather, the world changed.. like tsunami and non-stop going on in california..and etc..

Anyway.. I am sorry about your friend's loss.. its so hard to losing .. like you lose loved one.. with all their high expectant to have a child come to world.. .. take this advice.. tell her husband to be there for her..

 

[SpiceHD]

just show care to your friend, encourage her not to give up but same time tell her to take time... but just let her know u care and if she need u... she is to let you know.

i had a miscarriage too myself... so it was sooooo tough and pretty confused. she probably feel guilty like its her fault some how and probably is going through "if i have done that, it would not happen"

but most imporantly... let her know ur caring about her. she probably need to know that most of all

EDIT: sorry my post is kinda late

 

[Malfoyish]

Hi Taylor.

First off, let me say that I think it's very nice of you to want to be supportive to your friend. I have not been through any miscarriages, and I've carried my only child to full term. However, I cannot begin to imagine the pain and heartbreak involved with a miscarriage. My cousin went through six of them before she had her first child - and now I think she's unable to have any more children for whatever reason.

Are you in contact with this friend on a regular basis? In person? Perhaps you can bring over some movies, popcorn, flowers. Sit with her, talk to her, loan her your shoulder. ASK first, of course, see if she would rather be by herself. She will have to spend some time coping with the loss of her baby, so she'll probably want to isolate herself for a while. It's ok to wanna do that, too. Just give her a little time and space, but do remind her that you are there should she need a few laughs. Maybe you can take her and her husband out to dinner - see if they want a night out...or something!

I applaud you, Taylor, for trying to make things better for her.

 

[Taylor]

My apologies for not responding to this thread earlier. Thanks to everyone who offered the great advice...I greatly do appreciate it because I was at a loss as to how to handle it.

I still feel rather helpless but I've been there for her...and she's told me that is all she needed. Sometimes just a shoulder to cry on or somebody to talk to. It was just a matter of being supportive. She is married and her husband has been wonderful throughout the entire ordeal. He did have to go away on business this past weekend which made it difficult for her (it was the first time he had left her side during the entire ordeal).

I wasn't aware of all of the follow-up that took place when something like this happens, and she is both physically and mentally exausted. I'm just doing what I can to be there for her to listen to her when she needs an ear to talk to. She still doesn't understand why it happened. She did everything she was supposed to do and followed the doctors instructions when it came to diet, etc. She is still devastated by it. I saw her again today and she seems to be in much higher spirits than she was throughout last week.

Anyhow, thanks again to everyone for helping out. It really gave me an idea on what to expect and what to do.