How do you handle socialization?

BecLak said:
I am also going through this phase. :) I see it as a time of reflection and a breather, and figuring out how we want to face the world again - but on our terms. Would I be right in saying this would be the same for you?
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Somewhat and probably mostly. It's hard for me to come to a reasoning. I have always been a very social person and just know that since I was in my mid 30's or about the time my hearing really took a nose-dive I started withdrawing more and more. I try hard to force myself to get out, but it's not easy. Also, I have other extenuating circumstances (my mother) and am usually able to get out somewhere without having an embarrassing moment or six. So, that suts me in more and more.
 
I have no problems socializing with family usually.. unless there's just too many people around. I do socialize with the local deaf community from time to time. But other than that, eh. Yeah, hard for me to REALLY socialize with hearing people because it's so hard for me to keep up, and because I also have anxiety issues.
 
KristinaB said:
Somewhat and probably mostly. It's hard for me to come to a reasoning. I have always been a very social person and just know that since I was in my mid 30's or about the time my hearing really took a nose-dive I started withdrawing more and more. I try hard to force myself to get out, but it's not easy. Also, I have other extenuating circumstances (my mother) and am usually able to get out somewhere without having an embarrassing moment or six. So, that suts me in more and more.
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What is most important is you do what is comfortable for you. No one should force you to go out if you prefer not to. In this internet-age, you shouldn't need to. You can do almost anything online these days from shopping, ordering pizza, groceries, pharmacy delivery, and socializing to name a few.

This way has made it possible for us to be friends despite the thousands of miles between us....:D
 
BecLak said:
What is most important is you do what is comfortable for you. No one should force you to go out if you prefer not to. In this internet-age, you shouldn't need to. You can do almost anything online these days from shopping, ordering pizza, groceries, pharmacy delivery, and socializing to name a few.

This way has made it possible for us to be friends despite the thousands of miles between us....:D
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I want to point out that this advice shouldn't apply to certain people...including my friend rraja...

rraja...DON"T FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!! YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE!!!!!! GO PARTY! GO TO THOSE STUDY BREAKS! GO SEE NOAH OR CHRIS!!! GO JOIN MORE STUDENT GROUPS!!!! GO NETWORK!!!
 
sheila022 said:
I want to point out that this advice shouldn't apply to certain people...including my friend rraja...

rraja...DON"T FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!! YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE!!!!!! GO PARTY! GO TO THOSE STUDY BREAKS! GO SEE NOAH OR CHRIS!!! GO JOIN MORE STUDENT GROUPS!!!! GO NETWORK!!!
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pot and kettle.
 
rraja said:
My experiences have shown that being deaf can impact this, and it does occur pretty much every day for me. For example, there's the issue of not being able to follow a conversation because you missed something, and also the difficulty of hearing others in noisy places. There's also the perception issue. Do people see you as different or unapproachable? How do you get them to be closer to you?

I know deaf people who are quite successful socially, so this isn't impossible or anything. I'm interested in seeing how everyone here handles this. Like do you draw attention to your deafness, or hide it? What methods do you use to work with the issues I listed?
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For both deaf/hearing or towards only hearing or deaf? There's a distinction to be made I think.

I'm much better socially with deaf people than hearing people when it's groups bigger than 2. My language capabilities are much more advanced with hearing people, so I'm able to communicate with them more on that level than with hearing people.

Don't force yourself to get close. Know yourself, what you like, and hang out with people you share interests with...and that's it.
 
sheila022 said:
I want to point out that this advice shouldn't apply to certain people...including my friend rraja...

rraja...DON"T FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!! YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE!!!!!! GO PARTY! GO TO THOSE STUDY BREAKS! GO SEE NOAH OR CHRIS!!! GO JOIN MORE STUDENT GROUPS!!!! GO NETWORK!!!
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^ ...what she said...copy..paste...action!
 
Erm for me I socialize. I tend though to stick to my friends who know I'm deaf and try to hide the fact I'm deaf (which can be difficult in noisy situations and with a hearing aid it's difficult) I survive though :)
 
I just don't go out much at all now. The last time I was in a pub was in 2005 :aw:
 
I am stay on quiet because too many small community I notice deaf and Hard of hearing not much! I am quiet. I am bored I am not much! I think so difficult to social! that is why!! that is not easy!
 
I am fine in one to one conversations, or very small groups. It largely depends on how well I know them.
I am totally hopeless when it comes to larger groups. I can't cope with all the noise and constantly changing subjects etc.
What is annoying is that I grew up in the countryside where I had a few friends near by, but most of them were in the towns near the school I went to. As it was an effort to get through I didn't socialize with them too much and as a result lost touch with them except a couple of good mates. The friends who lived nearby I did spend a lot of time with so they are very good friends. When I see them its usually the 2 of them and my brother which I can handle, especially as my brother is also deaf.

As I have not had much experience of group conversations I do not feel confident in those situations and usually just stay quiet and laugh when others do, mostly with no idea what is funny.
I find that being crap in group conversations sometimes translates over to one to one conversations, as I miss so much conversation in the group ones I sometimes don't know what to talk about in the one to one conversations.

I don't have that problem if I'm talking to people who share my passions such as mountain biking.

Do you guys have any tips on what I should do?
I am in my second semester at University and I want to change the way I am socially.

Sorry about the long post :P
I only just joined and really wanted to get this off my chest to people who understand :)
 
i don't. i either had to die in shame of survive in pride. never an in between affair for me. I hatec it when it liked this less at. No so much much now that I am actually less intense and mellowed out. Big difference !
 
How do I personally handle socialization? With a stride, really.

What Aaron and I have been doing in Boulder is pretty hard core - We strive to be the BEST in anything we do and be cool about it. Now we have this reputation of "The Two Deaf Dudes!" Slowly introducing a third :)

Everywhere we go, we see people we know, always hugging people, saying hi, gesturing and such. People KNOW we're deaf and they have absolutely no problems with it. Aside of that woman who was drunk last night and didnt believe we were deaf becuz she was so easy to lipread.

But what I am basically saying - We make it clear that we're deaf, and we make it EASY for them to talk with us - the rest is history.
 
I don't socialize much except going to church and also, spend with my family.
I guess it's social anxiety that I suffer from.
 
posts from hell said:
How do I personally handle socialization? With a stride, really.

What Aaron and I have been doing in Boulder is pretty hard core - We strive to be the BEST in anything we do and be cool about it. Now we have this reputation of "The Two Deaf Dudes!" Slowly introducing a third :)

Everywhere we go, we see people we know, always hugging people, saying hi, gesturing and such. People KNOW we're deaf and they have absolutely no problems with it. Aside of that woman who was drunk last night and didnt believe we were deaf becuz she was so easy to lipread.

But what I am basically saying - We make it clear that we're deaf, and we make it EASY for them to talk with us - the rest is history.
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How do you let them know that you are deaf? Sometimes it feels hard to do that, like if I'm in a lecture and people start talking to each other and I don't get involved because I can't hear what they are talking about and since i don't get involved they assume I am a quiet person and just ignore me.
 
posts from hell said:
How do I personally handle socialization? With a stride, really.

What Aaron and I have been doing in Boulder is pretty hard core - We strive to be the BEST in anything we do and be cool about it. Now we have this reputation of "The Two Deaf Dudes!" Slowly introducing a third :)

Everywhere we go, we see people we know, always hugging people, saying hi, gesturing and such. People KNOW we're deaf and they have absolutely no problems with it. Aside of that woman who was drunk last night and didnt believe we were deaf becuz she was so easy to lipread.

But what I am basically saying - We make it clear that we're deaf, and we make it EASY for them to talk with us - the rest is history.
Click to expand...

It's actually INSANE to witness! They have people learning to finger-spell, other people with paper and pen its awesome to say the least... I have friends that I have known since elementary school who won't go to these lengths to communicate yet they have random people down in boulder eager to learn...
 
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