I couldn't agree with you more!!! I really feel that by her staying in the program she is in now that she will ultimately only live up to a fraction of her potential. I haven't had anyone from MSD evaluate her (yet), but that is largely due to the fact that I am just now really starting to make some progress with my mother and transitioning her thinking. I am not familiar with MSD or know very much about them, but from first glance it seems like it could be a MUCH better option for her.
As far as her living in the dorms, I already know that my mom will NOT go for that and will prefer her at home. BUT here is the nice thing.. my mom only lives about a 35-40 minute drive directly south from MSD, which is about the same distance my sister is from the oral program she is in (except the school is 45 mins east). My sister is already being bussed in to her other school, so as long as MSD offered busses that traveled out of the Flint district like the school she is currently in then it wouldn't really be a big difference then what she is doing now (transportation/distance wise).
My biggest obstacle I will have convincing my mom of making a change like this is that she is under the impression that if my sister is immersed into a program with a strong focus on ASL that my sister will either regress verbally OR at the least not continue to grow (going back to the original mentality that was presented her when my sister was a child that they will revert to ASL because it is "easier"). Personally I think that even IF that were the case, she still would be better off. I also think she is under the impression that the deaf schools do not offer as strong of an academic program as the oral schools (ie- they make it "easy" for the kids), and that they push the students to remain within the deaf community vs. preparing them fully to live/work in the hearing "world". Again, I personally don't believe this, I think from what I can tell from talking to various people and my own research that this is an extremely archaic mindset. However, I also do not view it as the end of the world AT ALL if she did ultimately choose to predominantly associate or work within the deaf community. If anything I think that this could ultimately be what is best for her if she does not have the capability to fully advance orally enough to "keep up" in the "hearing world". I also view it as HER choice what she wants to do, and we should give her the option, vs. withholding that from her. Plus, I think it is naive for any of us to speculate on what the future holds, and focus more on what will help her at this very moment.
Unfortunately the oral teachers (and her doctors) have quite a bit of "control" over my mom's thinking still. I already know without a shadow of a doubt any attempt on my part to encourage a move to a deaf school will be met with strong opposition from all ends, and this could play a big role in my mom's decision making. She's going to look at it like "Well they ARE the experts- right?". I'm in a mindset at the moment that "NO THEY ARE NOT THE DAMN EXPERTS".. which is fairly clear from how everything has played out. I feel like they are learning more from HER than what she is learning from them.. as if she is some research project on how students in her position advance academically (oral only cochlear children). As you can see they all piss me off constantly!!!!
In her last IEP meeting I was only further convinced of this. I sat in a meeting for 2 hours with a group of about 5 people. My sister's classroom teacher, the school audiologist/speech pathologist, school consoler, the district IEP person (who oversees the programs), and my mom.
During the meeting they continually brought up concerns regarding my sister's speech comprehension, and lack of ability to follow the curriculum and advance at the rate they had originally planned for. Their goal is to by 8th grade come up with a plan to push her into a vocational trade they can structure her HS years for. They also cited numerous times that they felt her IQ testing illustrated she would always perform at a "below average" level and that she would likely* always remain within her IEP program (meaning she'll never be completely mainstreamed into a classroom with non-IEP kids apart from perhaps classes like PE, Art, etc.).
So in a nutshell they were underlyingly saying.. "Look your kid is handicapped, she'll never be a rocket scientist, you need to help us plan out her school years to find a 'trade' she is capable of". So I get the sense they are planning on starting to view her (if not already) as more of a "cognitive disability" kid then a hearing impaired child. The irony I find so discouraging is that for years I've been hearing that a deaf school would not "push" her as much or make things "too easy", yet now I'm beginning to think THEY are the ones who will be doing that not a deaf school.
During this meeting I also brought up the subject of introducing ASL to her, and I was IMMEDIATELY shot down. While they didn't deny that it might be a good "tool" to help her fill in some "gaps" here and there while communicating with her- they basically said "If you want to do that, it's on your own time at home because we are an oral program". The only person I could tell that actually was receptive to the idea was her actual teacher (who is a sweetheart and I like a lot), but I got the impression her hands were tied. She did however email me information about sign language classes afterwards (probably without the knowledge of the school), which I've taken as a sign that she agrees with me but she just cant say it outright.
So this leads me to the current predicament I am in. I think it is VERY clear at this point that ASL needs to be introduced to her. My mom has become receptive to this (and now attends a weekly beginner ASL class), but I don't think this is going to be enough even if my mom manages to become semi-fluent eventually (which I have a hard time thinking is possible given she is not immersed in it enough to become fluent). So if my sister is not receiving any instruction at school, and is only "learning" from some basic classes and practicing at home with my mom.. I don't see it making a huge impact on her. I think the only way to really see if it will make a big difference is by immersing her in it by putting her in a program that she can use it frequently (and as a true learning tool during class instruction). What are your thoughts on this, do you agree?
My other concern is that my sister is not advancing socially whatsoever. She has some friends at school, but I think really only the kids in her class (who are all at varying degrees of oral comprehension themselves), and the rest of the school (mainstream hearing kids) VERY likely just look at her as one of the "handicapped kids". I already know she is being bullied a little bit, but thankfully my sister is very assertive and does standup for herself. But as most of you I would imagine know, that there is only so much "fighting" back you can do in those scenarios when you are outnumbered 100/1. Even if bullying doesn't become a real issue, she still is being isolated to a small classroom and doesn't have the ability to interact with many other students frequently, or join any sports/activities. Her PE teacher claims "She does not have a clear enough understanding of the rules of the sports to play without holding the other children back".
This naturally concerns me A LOT and I feel that not enough importance is being placed on how this can negatively effect her. She is still very immature and naive in so many ways, and she is also very trusting of people (which is a concern on it's own). She'll meet someone who is "nice" to her and assume they are her new "best friend". She is also starting to gain a curiosity of boys, and I could see her being taken advantage of very easily as well!!
Anyway.. so in a nutshell that is what I am dealing with... any advice on how to come up with a plan to convince my mom (or at least have her LOOK at other options) would be very appreciated. I need to show her it's the best thing for her, while also convincing her that my sister will still be able to grow orally and not be limited to just the Deaf community (her biggest concern). Thankfully I have my other sister onboard.. but so far it's me and her against an entire school, my mom, and the rest of my family (who is very pro-audist as well).
Thanks a million! Looking forward to hearing what you have to say!!!
