Hello from Detroit :)

beautyartist said:
I just wanted to give everyone an update! So after speaking at length with both my mom and step-dad (sister's father), they have decided they are open to going and looking/touring the Michigan School for the Deaf!!!! :) I'm so thrilled! I'll keep you all posted on what happens :) Thanks for all the words of encouragement and advice!!
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That'd be the school in Flint, right? Best wishes....
 
Just read this. I am not a person who trusts the experts, so it's hard for me to understand it when other people, like your mom, do. I do know that for some personality types it's just harder to buck the system. It's a shame how many years have been wasted. Even if she does now have some cognitive delays, it would be hard not to wonder if this didn't happen because of nobody realizing she was deaf until she was two, and then being denied a language for years afterward.

That said, it's not very productive to spend a lot of time being angry about the past (I have to tell myself this all the time). I am glad you are there advocating for your sister and I am sure she will be much happier learning ASL.
 
I totally agree with you Grayma.. my mindset has been different than my families since the very beginning, but unfortunately up until recently it's been hard for me to get them to listen to me. I think perhaps now that I am an adult (26), they are realizing that I know what I'm talking about and have done lots of research on the subject. Back when a lot of these decisions were originally made I was still young (I think I was 17 or 18 when they originally put her in the oral program). I'm not "angry" at my family.. but rather disappointed. I understand why they were manipulated into making the decisions, but I feel they should have considered the other options and reached out to the Deaf community as well. What I struggle with is not viewing them as being selfish, and believing that largely they subconsciously did what they did because they felt it was best or easiest for THEM vs. what was the best for her. Considering my family has never had any connections to the Deaf community, and they would have had to make a complete lifestyle change, I think they jumped into the doctors mindset because it was what was easiest and what gave them the most hope of her ending up "normal" and not "limited to only the Deaf community". Just like you I'm the type to seek out and form my own opinions vs. blindly following what others tell me.. so again that makes me feel disappointed that my family isn't the same way. I guess it is what it is.. and now all we can do is move forward vs. reflecting on the past.

I think my families mindset is similar to what a LOT of hearing parents are these days. The doctor's convince them from the get-go that a cochlear implant is the route to go, and that an oral-only program is what is best. I find it saddening, discriminatory, and insulting in many ways to the Deaf community (especially considering 90% of deaf children are born into hearing families).

I wonder often if the cognitive delays were a result of all of this vs. being born with it as well. Personally I think the main issue she has is her attention span. She definitely has MANY symptoms of ADHD, which when paired with all the other problems she's faced (not having language from the get-go and being in the program she is in) probably account for the majority of the problems. I almost wonder if the symptoms of ADHD are being confused with symptoms of their suspected cognitive delays. If she legitimately DOES have an additional cognitive "delay" that they believe she was born with, I honestly don't think it's severe enough for her to have her education centered around that. They tested her IQ at 84 (14 points above "retarded"). Personally I am not willing to put any real weight on that until she has been given more language (ASL), and will believe it when they retest her down the line. I think there is a definite chance that if retested in 2-3 years she could test 10-20 points higher than that.
 
Hello everyone! Sorry for taking so long to update this thread, I've been extremely busy the past month or so. I just thought I'd let everyone know that after touring the michigan school for the deaf with my mother we've decided to switch my sister over starting the new school year!!!! We still need to go through the formal IEP process, but so far all signs are a go!!

:) Thanks for all the feedback and advice it was very helpful!
 
michigan school for the deaf with my mother we've decided to switch my sister over starting the new school year!!!! We still need to go through the formal IEP process, but so far all signs are a go!!
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YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm extremely happy for your sister! I think your sister will REALLY thrive, both academicly and socially.
I think actually she will make HUGE HUGE progress. I'm super psyched!
Is she going to go to any deaf camps over the summer? So freaking HAPPY that there's ONE LESS KID who will endure the hell of a mainstream oral placement.....What grade is she going into? I know Michigan is weird and they can attend school until 26. Their site is down, but maybe look into ESY programming, to prepare her for going to a signing Deaf School? Are your parents friends with any of the parents in the oral deaf program? Maybe your mom will be all "OMG this was the BEST decision EVER to the parents of the other kids, and that may result in a lot of transfers.
 
This is late but seriously guys. If you can't be bothered to read past the first paragraph why are you commenting? Beautyartist gave a very concise and accurate history of her sister's hearing loss and educational placement and expressed her frustrations with her current situation.

To Beautyartist- first you are an amazing sister. I hope you realize that.
Second, how is your sister doing now? Have there been changes in her educational setting?
You were and are in a hard place. How have YOU been?
You expressed concerns that possibly the IQ tests for you sister were accurate. That doesn't mean she can't achieve fluent communication in any form. Perhaps ASL or total communication (Signs in English word order with spoken language (many people don't like it but I was able to excell in school because of it)) would be better for her.
And I know it isn't popular but cued speech (a way to visually show the speech sounds) might be useful. I have been tempted to learn cued speech so that my fiancé can have a relatively easy way to translate things in a noisy situation.

Your sister and all deaf children deserve to have access to language in whatever language or combination of languages/manual languages/signed English works best for them.
The access to language and ability to communicate with others is fundamental in brain development.
It might be that your sister is quite bright but she was tested using a biased test that is designed for normally hearing children. It is possible that she is much more bright than testing indicates.

Regardless of her IQ or school performance she is lucky to have a caring sister like you. She deserves to have every opportunity to learn and express herself.
It sounds like she needs you and your other sister to stand up for her.

Good luck. I hope all is well.
 
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