Hearing person (cringes and hides) asking an honest and sensitive question

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artisticpoetres

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Hello,

I have wondered this for years ever since I've been studying american sign language interpreting and the career. Within the career, we have to know about Deaf culture. This is what I think, and tell me your views, critics, or/and agreements please.


First, I think studying a culture is normal to an extent; however, I find hearing people, (I would be technically "hard of hearing", if I were brought up in a Deaf/HOH culture, so I dont normally include myself in these "hearing peoples' opinions), tend to look at Deaf people as guinie pigs they can study and probe. One thing that strikes me about Deaf culture, expecially the way hearing people explain it, it is a strong, connection between only Deaf and HOH (depending) people who have like experiences and like morals of Deafness. I feel culture is humanity period. Deafness is normal just like everything else. I am black, and now we have black scholarships. Weird to me, but cool to others. This culture thing reminds me of segregated groups fighting against each other because they want to proove they are the same as the other group, yet know they (normally) are different than everyone else--as with every other group with each other. It doesnt matter.

My question is, why do many Deaf people look at hearing people from their experiences and judge their hearing status rather than their being human? I mean, I go into chat rooms and the first thing they ask me is am I Deaf. Should that matter if you (which hearing people always use you offensively; I do not) are like "not" want to be like hearing people. We are people.

Thus, my point is, we have different groups, and we have the same culture. Humanity, no matter how we communicate with each other, wheither through visual language or oral, it doesnt matter.. the message gets accross. We thrive off of communication, and we live with interaction with each other. Why can "both" hearing and Deaf (high D) understand this? Why are experiences and bias judging them wheither or not a human is human based on their hearing status. I dont get it.

I mean, here I go again, lol. I have a speech and langauge processing disorder. I can hear, and I can not listen. I have used signs my whole life and never knew these hand gestures for communication was actually a language. When I found that out, I almost flipped. Then I met Deaf people and said, hey, I'm hearing (because I can technicly hear), and they shun me like Im nobody.

Christians want to be around christians, certain regianal african americans tend to band together just as native americans, Deaf and HOH gather in the same group. We are all human. Why cant we just get along?

What are your views with how you feel growing up in Deaf culture?

Do you have bias against hearing people (and its okay to have them), what are they, and why?

What is culture to you?





Thank you guys,

Carlita
 
I think some d/Deaf people feel alienated from hearing people based on painful, personal experiences of their interaction (and/or lack thereof) with them.

I think it was Bernard Bragg, a famous Deaf actor, who said something to this effect: being deaf is like watching the hearing world from a glass box. Basically it means you see the world, but you're not part of it.
 
Just so you are aware, some deaf and hard of hearing people are shunned from the Deaf community because they don't fit the "criteria" of being deaf.
 
I think it's quite silly for Deaf people to view non-Deaf people as "The Enemy". It's silly and it shows that those folks do not have the ability to forgive injustices and move on. I wasn't allowed to play little league because I am Deaf. Did that stop me? I'm proud to say that it did not and honestly, I believe that's the first and last time that someone's been able to tell me that I couldn't do something.

I have to agree with the "not deaf enough" thing. I was ridiculed about my ASL skills in high school and also because of my blue collar background. I wasn't born Deaf and therefore, my exposure to Deaf culture was limited (and still is).

I think that more Deaf people need to move beyond the bitterness and take the reigns in their life. The more you complain about your injustices and past, the more you hold yourself back. Let it go and you'll be able to do anything that you've dreamed of.
 
I actually have a shirt that says "Hearing People Suck!"

I used to wear it when I felt really frustrated with communication or something. But with that said, I actually have more hearing friends than deaf people. Plus nearly all of my family members are hearing...
so having the attitude that hearing people are the enemy is pointless and immature. But some d/Deaf people I know do feel that way.
 
The way I look at human behavior is that there are two kinds plus a continuum. There are those that lump (these are the ones that focus on the similarities) and there are the spitters (those who focus on the differences). Some people are a blend of the two, and of course, may be situation-specific.
Lumpers tend to simplify things, splitters make them complicated.

This happens in all aspects of life. Just like the 'half full, half empty' philosophy.

I try to be a lumper as I find looking for similarities helps me to relate to others, see the links. These help me to build a strong rapport.

Of course, there are times when splitting is good too. For example, very handy when I am trying to accomplish as task. Breaking down the big pieces to their smallest components and them accomplish each to get the bigger task.

What was the quote I learned in philosophy class? "The whole is greater than the sum of the parts" I feel we can work together, despite our differences, and benefit what we each bring.

That's my approach.
 
deafbajagal said:
I actually have a shirt that says "Hearing People Suck!"

I used to wear it when I felt really frustrated with communication or something. But with that said, I actually have more hearing friends than deaf people. Plus nearly all of my family members are hearing...
so having the attitude that hearing people are the enemy is pointless and immature. But some d/Deaf people I know do feel that way.
Click to expand...

..... and I feel sorry for the d/Deaf people. They are the ones who are being immature.

Lol, I should have a T-shirt that says "Deaf people suck!" ... because seriously, they do suck. In 1997, when I joined the so-called deaf school in 8th grade, the deaf community put me under the "deaf curse" for 6 years. When I got admitted in college in January 2004, that deaf curse is broken forever!

(And yes I was, and still am, practically ecstatic when I managed to break that deaf curse!)

Sorry, but that's how I felt.
 
SnAzZyStyLe2002 said:
..... and I feel sorry for the d/Deaf people. They are the ones who are being immature.

Lol, I should have a T-shirt that says "Deaf people suck!" ... because seriously, they do suck. In 1997, when I joined the so-called deaf school in 8th grade, the deaf community put me under the "deaf curse" for 6 years. When I got admitted in college in January 2004, that deaf curse is broken forever!

(And yes I was, and still am, practically ecstatic when I managed to break that deaf curse!)

Sorry, but that's how I felt.
Click to expand...

Can you explain exactly what the "deaf curse" was?
 
Just so you are aware, some deaf and hard of hearing people are shunned from the Deaf community because they don't fit the "criteria" of being deaf.
Click to expand...
And that has nothing to do with being not "deaf" enough. There are tons of Deaf people who are hoh or who use a CI or who have oral skills.
Most of the ones who are shunned are shunned b/c they have an attitude that they're better then Deaf people (b/c they can hear and talk or b/c they think they're better educated then Deaf people)
 
I am just curious why the OP thinks their questions are so "sensitive."
 
Bottesini said:
I am just curious why the OP thinks their questions are so "sensitive."
Click to expand...

From my ASL class and their need to incorporate Deaf Culture ways into the class, it's pretty obvious to me that my ASL teacher want to teach the potential 'terps (which accounts for 90% of my class) all the possible "offenses" that you can do to a Deaf person. This gives the illusion that Deaf people get offended a LOT.

In my ASL book alone, I have about 8 pages basically saying what is rude to a Deaf person. Which is kinda understandable, but you don't see that in other "learning languages" books.
 
Daredevel7 said:
From my ASL class and their need to incorporate Deaf Culture ways into the class, it's pretty obvious to me that my ASL teacher want to teach the potential 'terps (which accounts for 90% of my class) all the possible "offenses" that you can do to a Deaf person. This gives the illusion that Deaf people get offended a LOT.

In my ASL book alone, I have about 8 pages basically saying what is rude to a Deaf person. Which is kinda understandable, but you don't see that in other "learning languages" books.
Click to expand...

Ok so I guess you are telling me the OP means "sensitive" as might offend?

From the OP:
My question is, why do many Deaf people look at hearing people from their experiences and judge their hearing status rather than their being human? I mean, I go into chat rooms and the first thing they ask me is am I Deaf. Should that matter if you (which hearing people always use you offensively; I do not) are like "not" want to be like hearing people. We are people.
Click to expand...

People want to know your hearing status because they already had bad experience with hearing people. In a deaf chat people expect or hope to be free without catering to the hearing populace.
 
I do both ways, Hearing and deaf culture. Cuz I wear Cochlear Implant. I explained my hearing friends that it doesn't mean it's a cure for deafness. CI have it's own limitation and I can't understand some area of speech nor phone chat.

I am used being around hearing people at work. I have only one deaf co worker but he have different hours. I works friday nights which took my time away from Deaf social which are at peak on Friday nights. I supervises and work at normal duty among hearing workers. I'm used to their jokes and idioms ect. My deaf co worker didn't understand what they were talking about and sometime he felt offended when they made a joke. I explained to him clearly that they're just kidding or what they are actually saying. Every jokes they made doesn't mean that they are making fun of deaf or anyone in particular.

I have seen some deaf leave hearing signers out cuz it's not part of their deaf cultures. It's like what Deafbajagal said. I had to switch back and forth to keep hearing people company and comfortable. It seem that deaf does "automatic" things when they see other deaf, it draws them like magnet and stuck there while hearing people felt left out and found other those who can speak and "hear" well (hard of hearing or CI wearer who are not really into deaf culture). It wasn't easy to try to merge them into deaf culture.


Some hearing are "shocked" with dramatic act from deaf group. They may think deaf are immature while in my view isn't. It's the way body language and acting out to make other laugh.

I have seen very same "culture difference" when I went to my boss' wedding and He is White and his newly wed wife is Hispanic. What really made thing really interesting that there were large group of Hispanic group sitting on one side of the room and Mixed ethnics (black, white, asian) on other side of of room during receptions. It look like a 'Great Divide'. Hispanics are clinging with their own group while others mingles in their groups. It doesn't means that one group don't like different group. It's just the comfort of communication, culture and comfort of similiar group. So that gave me idea very similiar to deaf culture, it's self explanatory.

Catty
 
artisticpoetres said:
Hello,

I have wondered this for years ever since I've been studying american sign language interpreting and the career. Within the career, we have to know about Deaf culture. This is what I think, and tell me your views, critics, or/and agreements please.


First, I think studying a culture is normal to an extent; however, I find hearing people, (I would be technically "hard of hearing", if I were brought up in a Deaf/HOH culture, so I dont normally include myself in these "hearing peoples' opinions), tend to look at Deaf people as guinie pigs they can study and probe. One thing that strikes me about Deaf culture, expecially the way hearing people explain it, it is a strong, connection between only Deaf and HOH (depending) people who have like experiences and like morals of Deafness. I feel culture is humanity period. Deafness is normal just like everything else. I am black, and now we have black scholarships. Weird to me, but cool to others. This culture thing reminds me of segregated groups fighting against each other because they want to proove they are the same as the other group, yet know they (normally) are different than everyone else--as with every other group with each other. It doesnt matter.

My question is, why do many Deaf people look at hearing people from their experiences and judge their hearing status rather than their being human? I mean, I go into chat rooms and the first thing they ask me is am I Deaf. Should that matter if you (which hearing people always use you offensively; I do not) are like "not" want to be like hearing people. We are people.

Thus, my point is, we have different groups, and we have the same culture. Humanity, no matter how we communicate with each other, wheither through visual language or oral, it doesnt matter.. the message gets accross. We thrive off of communication, and we live with interaction with each other. Why can "both" hearing and Deaf (high D) understand this? Why are experiences and bias judging them wheither or not a human is human based on their hearing status. I dont get it.

I mean, here I go again, lol. I have a speech and langauge processing disorder. I can hear, and I can not listen. I have used signs my whole life and never knew these hand gestures for communication was actually a language. When I found that out, I almost flipped. Then I met Deaf people and said, hey, I'm hearing (because I can technicly hear), and they shun me like Im nobody.

Christians want to be around christians, certain regianal african americans tend to band together just as native americans, Deaf and HOH gather in the same group. We are all human. Why cant we just get along?

What are your views with how you feel growing up in Deaf culture?

Do you have bias against hearing people (and its okay to have them), what are they, and why?

What is culture to you?

Thank you guys,

Carlita
Click to expand...

Come out of wherever you are hiding! :) I hope you are not one of those people who posted about hearing/deaf differences and then disappeared. I can understand where the black people are coming from because I have been discriminated because of my deafness. I have often thought of how black people get discriminated differently than the deaf people. I mean one can spot a black person a block down and there is no way for a black to see that he is being discriminated when he met a white person. A person won't know that I am deaf until I open my mouth. Maybe I can see right away that I am being discriminated when I see the attitude shifted after I said something. At least the black person has his family to be with who understand what he is going thru and maybe give him some advices. I have a hearing family and I don't think they understand what I am going thru at all.

You are right on the button when you said that hearing people are using deaf people as guinea pigs, especially in education settings. They seem to think that oral method is better and ignore the deaf people's complains/opinions. Now they have CI for deaf babies. I think CI is great for those who became deaf later as they can fine-tune it easily. Not so great for those who were born deaf. How can they fine-tune their CI if they never had a normal hearing to compare? Some hearing people are friendly toward deaf people and even learn to sign however there are few of them who interpret for the deaf as a ego-booster. Don't think I hate all hearing people. My childhood best friend is hearing although she lost her hearing in one ear in her 20's.

I don't understand why some hearing people are trying to eradicate ASL. I can see how ASL can be extremely useful. Perfect for someone who has problem speaking for some reason. Perfect to talk to someone with infectious disease in the isolation thru a window plate. Perfect for someone to pass information along to someone else while on the phone. Perfect to talk to someone in a noisy place like factory, etc. So why do away with it? When I first saw Borgs in the Star Trek tv program. Perfect analog of what I see in some hearing people. When one insist that I live their way of life, it is not a two-way respect. I just believe that things will be better if ASL is accepted everywhere. I learned to speak but did my family learn ASL? No. I feel that I am not really respected. Why would I want to be like somebody who didn't really respect me??

I have heard the argument against CI that a black person won't want to undergo the surgery to make him a white person. Exactly my feeling. Why would I would want to work so hard to make the society accept me when it is obivous that not all people would accept a deaf person on equal footing? We are made this way (deaf or black or blind or ugly, etc) so accept us as we are or else.
 
Buffalo said:
Come out of wherever you are hiding! :) I hope you are not one of those people who posted about hearing/deaf differences and then disappeared. I can understand where the black people are coming from because I have been discriminated because of my deafness. I have often thought of how black people get discriminated differently than the deaf people. I mean one can spot a black person a block down and there is no way for a black to see that he is being discriminated when he met a white person. A person won't know that I am deaf until I open my mouth. Maybe I can see right away that I am being discriminated when I see the attitude shifted after I said something. At least the black person has his family to be with who understand what he is going thru and maybe give him some advices. I have a hearing family and I don't think they understand what I am going thru at all.

You are right on the button when you said that hearing people are using deaf people as guinea pigs, especially in education settings. They seem to think that oral method is better and ignore the deaf people's complains/opinions. Now they have CI for deaf babies. I think CI is great for those who became deaf later as they can fine-tune it easily. Not so great for those who were born deaf. How can they fine-tune their CI if they never had a normal hearing to compare? Some hearing people are friendly toward deaf people and even learn to sign however there are few of them who interpret for the deaf as a ego-booster. Don't think I hate all hearing people. My childhood best friend is hearing although she lost her hearing in one ear in her 20's.

I don't understand why some hearing people are trying to eradicate ASL. I can see how ASL can be extremely useful. Perfect for someone who has problem speaking for some reason. Perfect to talk to someone with infectious disease in the isolation thru a window plate. Perfect for someone to pass information along to someone else while on the phone. Perfect to talk to someone in a noisy place like factory, etc. So why do away with it? When I first saw Borgs in the Star Trek tv program. Perfect analog of what I see in some hearing people. When one insist that I live their way of life, it is not a two-way respect. I just believe that things will be better if ASL is accepted everywhere. I learned to speak but did my family learn ASL? No. I feel that I am not really respected. Why would I want to be like somebody who didn't really respect me??

I have heard the argument against CI that a black person won't want to undergo the surgery to make him a white person. Exactly my feeling. Why would I would want to work so hard to make the society accept me when it is obivous that not all people would accept a deaf person on equal footing? We are made this way (deaf or black or blind or ugly, etc) so accept us as we are or else.
Click to expand...

:gpost: I love reading your posts. That is exactly how we have gone through this problems like this. Thank you. :thumb:
 
deafbajagal said:
I actually have a shirt that says "Hearing People Suck!"

I used to wear it when I felt really frustrated with communication or something. But with that said, I actually have more hearing friends than deaf people. Plus nearly all of my family members are hearing...
so having the attitude that hearing people are the enemy is pointless and immature. But some d/Deaf people I know do feel that way.
Click to expand...

I think it has more to do with trust issues...if a deaf person grew up being mocked, shunned, looked down and intentionally left out by hearing people, it would be hard for the deaf person to trust them as adults. I have a hard time trusting hearing people who talk to me like I am stupid, a child, or tell me that I need to do better job listening instead of misunderstanding. Why should I give them the trust after being treated like that? I dont see them as the enemy or anything but I am not that motivated to seek them out.

If that makes me immature, then I dont really care. Iam living my life how I want without worrying about making others happy all the time. That burden is forever gone. Thank God!
 
purplecatty said:
I do both ways, Hearing and deaf culture. Cuz I wear Cochlear Implant. I explained my hearing friends that it doesn't mean it's a cure for deafness. CI have it's own limitation and I can't understand some area of speech nor phone chat.

I am used being around hearing people at work. I have only one deaf co worker but he have different hours. I works friday nights which took my time away from Deaf social which are at peak on Friday nights. I supervises and work at normal duty among hearing workers. I'm used to their jokes and idioms ect. My deaf co worker didn't understand what they were talking about and sometime he felt offended when they made a joke. I explained to him clearly that they're just kidding or what they are actually saying. Every jokes they made doesn't mean that they are making fun of deaf or anyone in particular.

I have seen some deaf leave hearing signers out cuz it's not part of their deaf cultures. It's like what Deafbajagal said. I had to switch back and forth to keep hearing people company and comfortable. It seem that deaf does "automatic" things when they see other deaf, it draws them like magnet and stuck there while hearing people felt left out and found other those who can speak and "hear" well (hard of hearing or CI wearer who are not really into deaf culture). It wasn't easy to try to merge them into deaf culture.


Some hearing are "shocked" with dramatic act from deaf group. They may think deaf are immature while in my view isn't. It's the way body language and acting out to make other laugh.

I have seen very same "culture difference" when I went to my boss' wedding and He is White and his newly wed wife is Hispanic. What really made thing really interesting that there were large group of Hispanic group sitting on one side of the room and Mixed ethnics (black, white, asian) on other side of of room during receptions. It look like a 'Great Divide'. Hispanics are clinging with their own group while others mingles in their groups. It doesn't means that one group don't like different group. It's just the comfort of communication, culture and comfort of similiar group. So that gave me idea very similiar to deaf culture, it's self explanatory.

Catty
Click to expand...

I am a hearing signer and no one really wants to talk to me. I am required to use signed English or Deaf people tell me "not to try and be ASL" I am not a Sign language groupie, I only want to talk to my deaf son and some of his friends deaf parents. People ask my coda wife "are you deaf? and I think of the Japanese who don't like westerners who can speak perfect unaccented Japanese. They think its creepy. Or French people saying Engle! when people are speaking bad French. All that being said I would really like to learn more Deaf syntax. I mean if you are going to do something why not do it right. Maybe I will start an ASL program at the community college but I still think no one will want to talk to me.
 
Bebonang said:
:gpost: I love reading your posts. That is exactly how we have gone through this problems like this. Thank you. :thumb:
Click to expand...

I like your views on CI's. I think its a crime when they implant a kid two or three times and it doesn't work.
Nobody wants to tell you about that. And any anti ASL group
(HLAA, AGBell) Really, Really, REALLY doesn't know what they
are doing. Go to the Hearing loss association of America and read their charter and mission statement. They spell it right out. Implant babies and no sign. Its sick if the implant doesnt work.
 
peteydid said:
I like your views on CI's. I think its a crime when they implant a kid two or three times and it doesn't work.
Nobody wants to tell you about that. And any anti ASL group
(HLAA, AGBell) Really, Really, REALLY doesn't know what they
are doing. Go to the Hearing loss association of America and read their charter and mission statement. They spell it right out. Implant babies and no sign. Its sick if the implant doesnt work.
Click to expand...

And if it does work? Is it still sick?
 
peteydid said:
I like your views on CI's. I think its a crime when they implant a kid two or three times and it doesn't work.
Nobody wants to tell you about that. And any anti ASL group
(HLAA, AGBell) Really, Really, REALLY doesn't know what they
are doing. Go to the Hearing loss association of America and read their charter and mission statement. They spell it right out. Implant babies and no sign. Its sick if the implant doesnt work.
Click to expand...

I hate groups like that who advocate for no signing. They r sick and they have no clue what that does to deaf people by banned the very language that is fully accessible to them.

I think these kinds of associations should be shut down.
 
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